I get dozens of Nigerian banking scam come-ons in my email box every day, and usually ignore them -- except for the occasional amusing piece, as when they purported to be Suha Arafat trying to recover the funds that Yasir had deposited in secret accounts.
But I never got one like this before. Probably I will get several hundred more like it in the coming weeks, but this one is the first: it's a certification that I am not a terrorist, from the United Nations itself! For a fee, of course.
I am thrilled that the UN has recognized that I am not a terrorist, but I don't think I can afford the certificate. Kofi Annan will just have to be satisfied with my continuing to be a "free and well abiding citizen" of the "INTED STATES." They seem to think, however, that I am not a US citizen and would want a US Visa, which their "certificate of anti-terrorist" would apparently help me obtain. Hmmm...Now that's interesting...
HIGH ESTEEM,This is to inform you that after going through your profile on our
international intelligence on terrorism, we have come to a conclusion that you are free and well abiding citizen of your country, we hereby want to let you know that you will be assigned and giving certificate of non-involvement in terrorist activities.You re required to contact us as soon as you get this message for further information on registering you on our data base. On the month of August we are holding a seminar/lectures on anti-terrorist act under the supervision of the secretary to the INTED STATES defense minister and the British chief intelligence minister, so you are hereby informed on this on time if you are to participate on this or not, you are allowed to decide on this in your own free will.
A certificate of antiterrorist will be issued to you immediately yourget back to us, and you will be giving your charges to pay for your documents, and other things attached to it...
Your benefit on this is that, as soon as we confirm your registration, you will be giving a chance of having the UNITED KINGDOM AND UNITED STATE VISA under tha act of the UNITED STATES IMMIGRATION LAW ANTI TERRORIST FREE LEGIT ACT 2003...
THANKS AND DO GET IN TOUCH WITH US IMMEDIATELY.
FROM THE UNITED NATIONS ON ANTI TERROSRIST ORGANISATION...
JOSE .D. LINA JR
SECRETARY, DILG AND CHAIRMAN, NAPOLCOM
TEL: 447031844710
Email: joselinaantiterror@yahoo.com
The email from which this masterpiece came was "lottoagentanderson@gmail.com." Lotto Agent? I know that some American states have lotteries, but the UN?
hmm... phone is possibly cell - from UK
or may be VoIP
The Western world and half of the non-Western world is now crawling with "experts" and "scholars" of terrorism, at Washington think-tanks, at the Kennedy School, everywhere you look. Many of these people have not bothered to study Islam, will not bother to do so, and offer the most absurd analyses and prescriptions -- as solemn commentators, introduced as "terrorism experts" or, just as Tom Friedman likes to call people he agrees with and don't disturb him too much, "Middle East experts."
They are making out like gangbusters. Conferences here, long-term contracts as media analysts there. Oh, a few of them are the real thing, and they of course are completely exempt from the general scorn.
It would be mean of us to begrudge the clumsy, illiterate, obvious fraud whose work is posted above, simply trying to make a fast buck from the ill-named "War on Terrorism" when so many others, less clumsy, not entirely illiterate, and non-obvious frauds doing so right here at home, and doing so far more successfully?
Whether what is for sale is vu-cumpra fake Vuitton, or grossly overpriced real Vuitton that presses all the right psychic buttons of buyers, the silliness of this particular souk remains the same.
well robert,
I am relieved that you have been considered worthy of certification. About time !
I expect mine is in the mail shortly...I'll be waiting C/C in hand.
British mobile phones all begin with 07 these days.
I once had a very difficult series of telephone calls, letters and complaints at work from a man who insisted that I should take him seriously because, as he assured me, he had left mental hospital with a certificate to confirm that he was sane. And could I prove that I was sane like him?
Today I got an email from that African widow who wants my help (and my money, natch) to help her free up her late husband's funds (they were frozen when he was assassinated in Ghana, I believe).
For a mere several thousand dollars, she promises me 15% of her multi-million, 100% guaranteed.
Since I don't have any liquid funds on hand, I suggested she send an email to Sir Bob Geldof.
liked the fact that the US are giving UK visa's out!!!
you will be giving a chance of having the UNITED KINGDOM AND UNITED STATE VISA under tha act of the UNITED STATES IMMIGRATION LAW ANTI TERRORIST FREE LEGIT ACT 2003...
There's a two for one offer no one can refuse
included telephone number is hopefully a fake
and not to be contentious
- this is only speculation and offered so that -if it is possibly connected to something/someone who has more than petty crime in mind -then it not be used by anyone who may be tempted to dial it -particualry given the possible location
(remember cell phones can remotely active electronic items)
44 is UK country code (when dialing via international routing preceeding 0 -as in 07- may or may not be left off...)
703 184 xxxx lead to other London numbers
if any real "experts" (of telephony) are out there - maybe one could offer more solid info
(all info freely available on www)
All UK mobile phone numbers begin 07.
All UK land line numbers begin 01.
Inner London is 0171 XXX XXXX Outer London 0181 XXX XXXX
This number begins 703. 01703 is Hampshire, the Southampton area. Outside the big conurbations numbers are 6 digits long. So a Southampton number would be 01703 XXXXXX. This number is too long.
But 703 is the area code for North Virginia. Which numbers typically are 703 XXX XXXX
Which matches this pattern.
The idiot Weatherwax is half asleep here.
Outer London numbers are now 020 8XXX XXXX
And Inner London 020 7XXX XXXX
Which still does not fit for that number to be a UK one. My money is still on North Virginia.