That Sam I Am! That Sam I Am! I do not like green eggs and ham. Ham is haram, O Sam I Am.
(In this instance only, the last syllable of "haram" rhymes with "am.")
(I'm waiting for Green Eggs and Ham II: Sam I Am Comes Back —- And Is Beheaded.)
"No ham for Christmas: Muslim menu for WA hospital," from the Sunday Times, with thanks to all who sent this in:
A WA hospital has scrubbed baked ham from its Christmas menu, fearing Muslim patients could be offended.
It has also overhauled its entire menu so that all meals are now halal – containing only meat and other food prepared according to Muslim customs.
But Port Hedland Regional Hospital staff and many non-Muslim patients are outraged, saying it is a case of political correctness gone mad.
Kitchen staff are so angry that they have organised a petition demanding ham be put back on the Christmas menu.
Other WA hospitals are also introducing halal dining, though the Health Department says Port Hedland is the only one to convert its entire menu to suit Muslims.
Hospital directors decided to axe the traditional festive season baked ham because of the high percentage of Muslim patients.
Eating pork or ham is forbidden under Muslim custom.
Until now, Muslims were asked to supply their own food if they did not want to eat hospital fare.
The hospital's nursing director, Judy Davis, said though ham was not on the menu, Christian patients would not miss out on festive cheer.
"We'll still make Christmas special – we've got prawns and all sorts of other special treats," she said.
Ah, those old traditional Christmas prawns. Makes my eyes mist up. But it looks to me as if the non-Muslim patients in this hospital are only a prawn in their game.
But one long-time Port Hedland hospital worker told The Sunday Times the menu change was "unAustralian".
"It's going to be a boring old Christmas lunch for the patients," he said.
"After all, what's Christmas without a ham, or Sunday morning without bacon and eggs?
"The management of the hospital are unable to stand up to a minority and keep our Australian way of life intact. They are bowing to the pressure of a select few."