What happened to Jacqueline Pascarl has happened to many, many other women in Western countries. See, for example, Patricia Roush's harrowing memoir, At Any Price. This is a function of Islamic marriage law, which grants few rights to women and doesn't treat them well after divorce either. And because it is involved in religious principles, Western governments have been reluctant to do anything about it. "Gillespie stays mum on daughter's visit," from AAP, with thanks to Cathy:
The woman at the centre of one of Australia's most notorious custody battles says she is "joyful" at being reunited with the daughter taken from her 14 years ago.Jacqueline Gillespie, had her two children, Shahirah and Iddin, snatched away by their father, Malaysian prince, Raja Bahrin, in 1992.
But Shahirah, now 21, returned to Melbourne at the weekend to join her mother at the Hawthorn home she shares with her new husband Bill Cocaris.
Reading a statement outside their home, Mr Cocaris said his wife, now known by her maiden name of Jacqueline Pascarl, wished to thank the media and others who had supported her.
"Jacqueline Pascarl and her daughter Shahirah would like to express their appreciation for your good wishes and support...."
Ms Pascarl married Raja Bahrin in 1980, and they had two children who were born in Malaysia.
She returned to Australia with the children after the prince took a second wife under Islamic law, but in 1992 he smuggled the children out of Australia during an access visit.
The case became one of the most high-profile custody battles in Australian history, adding to what was then a strained relationship between Australia and Malaysia as federal authorities tried unsuccessfully to return the children to Australia.
The obvious comment is that Western women must control themselves, not be seduced by these foreign exotics, not marry Muslim men. Most will turn on her after marriage and even if that doesn't happen he always knows he has the ultimate weapon of kidnapping the children, taking them for good to the Muslim pit he calls home. His real home
The above is now common knowledge but wasn't back when this woman married her Muslim
The Raja Bahrin story : father's dramatic rescue mission / Raja Bahrin Shah & Bryan Wickhman
Above is a book he wrote to justify the kidnapping
Remember that this was not just any Muslim, he was a member of a royal family. What a combination: male chauvinist piggery and political power. It's a wonder it took the lady only fourteen years to see her daughter again.
I don't get this. Shahirah marries, and instead of becoming Mrs Shahirah Cocaris or Mrs Shahirah Bahrin, becomes Jacqueline Pascarl? I've heard of strange things after marriages, but adapting Mommy's name?
Anyway, the other happy ending, in addition to the one above - Muslimah marries her way out of Islam. Way to go.
" don't get this. Shahirah marries, and instead of becoming Mrs Shahirah Cocaris or Mrs Shahirah Bahrin, becomes Jacqueline Pascarl?"
Yes, these modern arrangements can cause confusion. I'm all in favour of the dear ladies burning their bras, but this business of retaining maiden names in marriage does lead to confusion. Here's how I understand it...
1. Jacqueline Pascarl, Jacqueline Bahrin, and Jacqueline Gillespie are one and the same person
2. I seem to recall that Jacqueline married someone by the name of Gillespie after her Malaysian husband Raja Bahrin took their children to Malaysia.
3. It appears she since remarried Bill Cocaris, but has reverted to using her maiden name.
Maybe that why some choose to retain their maiden name?, things may get too complicated after multiple divorces & marriages.
As I understand it, and it is a struggle, the daughter Sharhira is not yet married. Wonder why her son didn't also visit his Mum?
Shahirah is the kidnapped daughter of Jacqueline Pascal -Gillespie. Jacqueline is now married to Bill Cocaris. Shahirah was kidnapped by her father who evaded Australian immigration by leaving the country in a type of speedboat and weaving his way from the north of Australia to Malaysia.
Ozi_bloke-
Slightly OT-
One thing I always found curious and ironic about women who want to retain their "maiden" names in marriage, rather than 'bow to patriarchy' and take on her husband's: her "maiden" name is her father's family name. Either way, women were patriarchally double-bound. Keep one man's lineage (daddy) or change to another's (hubby).
The only solution, which almost no one ever tries, would be to do what many native peoples do at puberty: make up you own new [last] name.
Sleep with dogs, wake up with fleas. Don't complain if you choose to do so.
Or trace your maternal ancestry as far as you can - mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's.... until you get to the end, and proceed from there.
Only risk - that probably still has a patriarchal root.
Maybe she kept her maiden name in hopes her children could always find her.
And do you men realize the hassle in changing everything from SS#, driver's license, credit cards, checks and everything else when you get married and/or divorced? It's easier to keep your own name. And who would want to take on a name such as....Humplerumplebutt? Just cuz you love your man, doesn't mean you luv his last name.
One of the reasons that this case had such a high profile is that Jacqueline's 2nd husband, Iain Gillespie is a television journalist who at the time was quite visible in the public eye.
OF course, the father of the children has been all over the news - on the tv, in the papers - claiming that it was Allah's will that he kidnapped the children.
L.Drummond
freewoman-
That's Mr. Humplerumplebutt to you!
Ja, Herr Humpelrumpelbutt, ein schoener Name!
The problem can be (I know a woman who had this experience), that muslim men women meet in the west can be utterly 'moderate', charming, even secular. My friend found that when her muslim husband got back under the thumb of his family, he underwent a complete personality change and became a chauvenist pig she had never met before and would never have given the time of day to.
She had a lucky escape before any children appeared!
Profitsbeard wrote:
"Slightly OT-
One thing I always found curious and ironic about women who want to retain their "maiden" names in marriage, rather than 'bow to patriarchy' and take on her husband's: her "maiden" name is her father's family name."
I too have noted this. Another new trend I've noticed is the double-barrelled surname, whereby Miss Smith marries Mr. Brown, and give birth to their delightful daughter Ms. Brown-Smith (or Smith-Brown, I don't know the protocols). This delightful daughter then marries a charming young Mr. Humplerumplebutt, (if I may borrow from Freewoman above, another thing I'm all in favour of is Free Women, though I suspect that they are as rare as Moderate Moslems).
This union then produces a child with the unfortunate family name of Brown-Smith-Humplerumplebutt, but all are still, as you noted, patriarchial names. Why doesn't Mum (Mums) get a mention anywhere?
JohnB wrote:
"Sleep with dogs, wake up with fleas. Don't complain if you choose to do so."
Unfortunately John, I suspect that most young Western women, who may be attracted by the exotic, are completely unaware of the fine print in their marriage contracts. They are not assisted by dhimmi western leaders, in both the political and religious arenas, who speak of the RoP, or even "we worship the same God" nonsense.
I think a more compassionate approach is appropriate for these misinformed "reverts".
profitsbeard,
Probably the most balanced on women's surnames are the Spanish speaking cultures where your last name is your fathers followed by your mothers. For instance, a woman named Alicia Martinez-Sarabia means her father's family name is Martinez and her mother's family name is Sarabia. Generally she would just go by Alicia Martinez but all her documents would have the full double last name. If she married Juan Epstein, her name would formally be Alicia Martinez de Epstein.
This custom is not always used and there are many, many exceptions, but it is a very common usage in Hispanic countries.
In contrast, Muslim women are often identified by their sons name such as being called Umm Khalid. However this also applies to Arab men. In Jordan, most people now refer to the late King Hussein simply as Abu Abdallah.
I'm sick of these people referring to the woman as Jacqueline Gillespie, she hasn't been married to the guy for ten years. She's married to some greek fellow now. If they couldn't use her current husband's name, why didn't she use her own?
And Iain "was" a television journalist. The last time I saw him on teevee in Melbournme he was chasing flying saucers in New Zealand. Journalist? Yeah right!
Ozi_bloke:
I know, I should be more compassionate and I must have been caugh in a churlish mood (as ususal ;-)
However, I still expect any reasonably intelligent western woman should have an idea of how women are treated in such cultures.
I seldom read these things, but this is the exception to the rule.
To those who have commented, I reverted to my maiden name many years ago. I am a writer and author and am publised around the world as Jacqueline Pascarl. For many years, 1995 - 2001, I was an emergency aid worker in war zones (Balkans, Africa, Kosovo, East Timor) with CARE International and ran a child literacy project in Africa - this was under my real name of Pascarl. When I remarried and had two more children in 2001, it was decided to attempt to preserve my husband and young children's privacy by continuing to work and be known publicly as "Pascarl". It didn't work as the paparazzi and media turned up at our house en masse - throwing stones at the windows in the middle of the night in the hope of getting a picture and terrifying all the children in their beds.
I was seventeen (17) when I married Shahirah and Iddin's father. Had I indeed be older and more worldly, perhaps I would have made more informed and wiser choices, but I really was too young to know better. I do not however, regret the birth of any of my children - I love them all equally. My older son and I have been in contact for three years - secretly, along with his sister. They set it up themselves as I had spent many futile years attempting to gain access to them via their father. My eldest son will come to visit me shortly if the unwanted media attention dies down. This has been both a joyous week for our family and a hellish one due to the media. We now just want to reclaim some very precious family time and be allowed some dignity and privacy. Thank you, Jacqueline Pascarl.