No threat here, people. This has nothing -- nothing -- to do with terrorism. Why, there are any number of reasons why Fadhel al-Maliki might have wires in his clothing and possibly -- possibly -- a metal device inserted into his rectum. Happens every day. How many times have you gotten in line at airport security and forgotten where you left your cell phone? Move along, folks. Nothing to see here, least of all a metal device.
Seriously, I am not saying this has anything to do with terrorism. However, I do hope that some explanation is ultimately offered for what on earth Al-Maliki actually was doing. (For one thing, is anyone besides Annie Jacobsen even considering the possibility that jihadists are making dry runs to test security?)
Also, does anyone remember a chap named Mohammed Islam and his cell phone?
From NBC4TV.com, with thanks to all who sent this in:
LOS ANGELES -- Officials say a man detained Tuesday morning in a passenger screening area at Los Angeles International Airport was an Iraqi native, but a suspicious item found in a body cavity search did not pose a threat.They are continuing to investigate what the object is.
They identified the man as Fadhel al-Maliki, a 35-year-old resident of Atlantic City, N.J.
The incident began shortly before 6 a.m. at Terminal One, said Marshall Lowe of Los Angeles World Airports, the Los Angeles city agency that operates LAX.
"About 5:40 a.m., a suspicious item was found during passenger screening," Lowe said. The item was seized and a Los Angeles Police Department bomb squad was sent to examine it, Lowe said.
An investigation was being conducted by the LAPD, the FBI and the Transportation Security Administration, Lowe said.
KFWB reported that a U.S. Airways ticketed passenger was going through a screening machine when "he set off the alarms."
The man was detained, and authorities reportedly found wires in his clothing and possibly a metal device inserted into his rectum, the radio station reported.
maybe the guy has rectal cancer which is treated with internal radiation therapy that uses a radioactive substance sealed in needles, seeds, wires, or catheters that are placed directly into or near the cancer. or maybe it was just an a$$ bomb.
This muslim sat in a defective airport chair which inserted the parts.
He felt afraid to say anything because of all the unreasonable attention given to muslims at airports and he didn't want to "get in trouble."
Fadhel al-jihad said he felt "humiliated."
The ACLU, CAIR, and the AADC, ably assisted with testimony of tsa & fbi Diversity Officers, will be suing for damages.
Slightly different details at al-reuters.
Magnet in rectum.
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyid=2007-03-06T233505Z_01_N06439574_RTRUKOC_0_US-SECURITY-LOSANGELES.xml&src=rss&rpc=22
I did a quick search and found no examples of the prophet using a cell phone in this manner.
How do they get it out? Do they forcefeed him until...? I sympathize with security personnel, who have to get their hands into all sorts of places nowadays.
Infidels are najis, pork is najis, but this, they can do. Nice.
Any foreign object in anyone’s rectum at the airport is unsatisfactory behavior here. I don’t care what he used to do in Iraq. First butts in the air now things in the butt, where will it all stop?
Courier for Rect-Ex secure delivery: As long as it gets there on time, don't ask where it's been.
Boy muslims just have to do things in a big way don't they? This guy couldn't just come out of the closet HE CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
Maybe he was just going to import his ....uhhhh...favorite traveling companion to his homeland,i doub't there are many places in the islamic world that sells ....uhhhh.... traveling companions.
A stress releasing device prescribed by Dr.ruth
meanwhile in other news Alexander Downer, Australia's Minister for Foreign Affairs was in the plane that crashed in Indonesia. Downer had strong anti-terrorism policies.
http://www.dailybreeze.com/news/articles/6342662.html
I though Mohammed’s instructions with regard to smooth round stones was different?
obviously a probe/test.
like the praying imams.
meant to see what we will allow/tolerate.
they know they need to smuggle aboard parts separately for in-flight assemblage.
or
perhaps a cellphone with which to call and detonate a bomb inside luggage.
perhaps a cellphone with which to call and detonate a bomb inside luggage.
perhaps a cellphone with which to call and detonate a bomb inside luggage.
Rectal Jihad Alert! Mujaheed at LAX tests screening laxity - is foiled by laxative measures. All personnel report to airport poop deck immediately.
Excuse me, sir, but your butt's ringing.
Good heavens! Was he being racially profiled!!!???
Oh, that's right our "PC" culture does not allow it. If profiling had been going on - the other parts of the device would have been found (on the other persons involved -who are now free to try, try, and try again). Besides - what indication is there that this man is muslim, and if he were to be, what does this have to do with being wired and plugged while boarding a US air flight?
With out encouraging islamophobia this will really worry some passengers the next time they sit next to an Iraqi with a silly grin on his face.
Oh, so the gum was in a napkin, was that so it could be used later?
That puts a new twist on ABC gum!
Just let's you know, it's not a religion we're fighting, it's a government. He's obviously testing our abilities to track terrorist.....send em to Club Gitmo !
Gives 'LAX' a whole new meaning, LOL!!
And actually, I don't know what the big deal is... I always carry extra things around in my rectum.
*snort*
I wonder how long it'll be until the ACLU and CAIR step in to cry about how his civil rights were violated, because isn't it a God-given right that we can carry things in our rectums?? How dare the evil infidel step in to say this poor, innocent mooselim cannot carry anything in his rectum? Oppression, oppression, oppression.
Oh no, not the ASSBOMB! These Muslims really are creative.
this was something about doing the electric slide. not sure.
am sure that this Web site is the best -- for intellectual stimulation, for humor, for good vibes.
Why is it that these creatures who are so damn dangerous are also so good at making us laugh? Let's call them The Keystone Jihadists.
My sources say Al-Maliki neglected to read the fortune cookie he left unopened last night at Foo Chow's after dining on Kung Pao Chicken, otherwise he might be free man today.
"Man who conceal wired magnet in a**hole has sh*t-4-brains."
"Where is that damn remote" "HONEY! Where's the remote"?
Now this is some funny shi... er... you know what I mean.
My God! Can the day get any funnier? One post after another has cracked me up. Thanks Robert, Mike and all of you for posting today! Anyone up for a road trip? Meet ja in Dearborn, now that would be a hoot!
Quadolama=SteveL
From the Al Reuters article: He said police and the FBI were called in from "an abundance of caution" because Maliki was "so bizarre in his behavior."
Sounds like he was squirming around in his seat, unable to find a comfortable position.
Oh, yes--this guy can shove it up his rectum, all right.
And so can all the other terrorists threatening the world.
Aren't you glad they can get SOMETHING right?
I can see him in my mind calling an electronic store. Yes, I need a long thin magnet, no a bigger one, much bigger, yes and wire, lots of wire. I am going on a long flight and want to mess up the compass. Oh, they have electronic compasses. Then I also need gum to make the needle stick to the top. (you really don’t want to hear the other side of this conversation)
Ahmed, every time I pass gass, my garage door opens. What should I do?
Excuse me, but could someone post something serious, I cant stop laughing.
But you know, we should get some laughs from all this 'death cult' voo doo bullshit.
(ass bomb! fer cryin out loud)
Just another test of airline security. This time it was a rectal probe (so to speak).
Many years ago I predicted that someone would circumvent security measures by physically ingesting (or inserting) bomb materials in order to conceal them. We will see a "walking bomb" yet. No method of killing the kufar is off limits for Muslims. Has anyone honestly ever heard of any Islamic text that limits the ways in which the Infidel may be killed? Think about it.
I'm trying to get this straight.
He was rectally profiled.
That means he was pulled out of line because wires were hanging out of his ass? This is one sure sign that something is wrong. OK. He was profiled and this is not wrong. Muslims always have wire hanging out of their ass?
Definitely he was not racially profiled because normal people of all races don't have wires hanging out of thier asses?
OH help me.
Once again this cult has be so confused.
I guess its the liberal, pc-Korect(n) thing, that I can say anything and do anything and have wires hanging out of my ass and you can't do anything about it.....SO There.
Assbomb. That's a new term for the A-Bomb....you know the thing dinnerjacket is making!
This has to be the funniest thread ever !
What was it my old dad used to say, oh yes:
"If you didn't laugh, you'd bloody cry."
If turns out that he is “one who submits”, Fadhel al-Malki literally got the “sh*t-end of the stick” on this deal. “Stick WHAT, UP WHERE?! Brother, I did not sign up to external jihad for this kind of activity!! Why me??!!” Likely a special martyr bonus had to be authorized and offered for this operation (if successful) -144 virgins vice the usual 72. Alas poor Fadhel can not be a "true believer" as he was not allowed to complete his mission and now he will find himself in prison – where he may very well be someone's "virgin" , so the metal object lesson will turn out to be a good one to have learned after all.
Wasn’t all of this foretold in a South Park episode – where "aliens" visiting planet earth inserted a large metal object into one of the south-parkians. Perhaps they weren't aliens after all ...?
Good news they can not bring rectal electronics onto planes.
Good news his entire records and buddy list is now giving more of these peaceful Muslims the opportunity to be on the FBI list.
“Stick WHAT, UP WHERE?! Exactly right! You just gotta know he was saying "Why me??!!” "Why not Fat Mo? Hell, he could get a Claymore up his lard ass", "c'mon man, dont make me do this".
OK.
No more beers.
No more this thread.
A Claymore in MO's LardAss.
It was there all the time!
I've laughed so hard, I think coughed up a lung!
Move along people. There's no cause for alarm here. Lot's of Muslims shove a wired magnet up their ass. It's used therapeutically as a shortwave antenna when they pray to Mecca. Works best at ~35,000 feet.
Reminds me of the Saturday Night Live sketch of the redneck guy who always came to the emergency room with something stuck up his butt. Car keys, Sharpie markers, rain sticks (ouch!), you name it.
Would you give this poor schmuck a break? It was obviously the new fandangled internal air conditioning unit. Sheesh!
Racial profiling? No, actually TINBH, this was Rectially profiling! Ouch
They are going to keep probing until they find a way to get bomb components aboard a plane. I'm sure his friends in Frisco like his, uh, magnetic personality.
His mother taught him that it was used for storage, when not in use of course.
Quote:
Great Joke!!!! I was thinking the same thing, but
you beat me to it!
ok, let's look at the facts:
long weekend
(wink, wink)
Could this portend some nefarious
alliance between islam and scientology?!?!?!?!?!
Fadhel was quoted as saying:
I wonder what part of the koran perscribes the
bionic buttplug? Allah is merciful, but a napkin keeps the chaffing to a
minimum. Ameen!
... what the heck was the gum for? wasn't it gummy enough up off in there?
... maybe he was keeping the mahdi from coming out of his well?
... who said there is no humor in islam? this is the best laugh I have had in weeks!
When I was a youngster I lived on an undisclosed island in the Carribean.
A friend discovered that a new hill on the island was actualy a storage place for explosives and being a mischievious boy he 'borrowed' some.
It was a plastic gummy stuff and a piece about the size of a pencil eraser made some large rocks at the waters edge a lot smaller with a very impressive bang.
Too bad my childhood friend never made it out of the Viet Nam war. When things get dicey we will need people with his kind of creative thinking to protect our country.
I thought that toilet paper was considered one of our filthy Western decadences.
I wonder if the napkin was cloth? What thread count? Cotton or linen? Martha Stewart we need a call on what's correct here.
LOL Aunt Bea
ASS PROBE BY LAX[ative] Hehehe...
Absolutely hilarious & witty comments by JWatchers-haven't laughed so much for a long time reading 'em.
Do remember Mohammed Islam & cell phone-putting it where sun don't shine.
What is there about Islam and fixation with their rear ends-guess its where all the SHIT comes from,eh!
If they caught three Muslims with this type of rectal profiling could one say they finally caught the A Team?.....
....I used to think Muslims were praying when they were on the mat with their rears in the air, now I know they were demonstrating the proper position for the insertion of the Muslim version of the A bomb....
...hey, maybe this is what Ahmadinejad was referring to when he says he will have waves of attackers ready in case he is attacked....
....but like someone else noted, it is good to see the security catching something more worthwhile than an 84 year old granny with a tweetybird keychain....
l had such a great laugh at all these posts, dont these islamist make good comics.. but they are all pains in the butts.. now we know there is a physcial asspect to it!
So funny!! It's a good thing that this guy was going through Los Angeles. Had he been in San Francisco, nobody would have noticed.
He had the cellphone on "vibrate" and his friends could call him up and make him feel good. Or he could just do it himself, I guess.
This thread has made my day.
Well, now we have to admit, this particular form of jihad is definitely an internal struggle.
IF I recall correctly, a while back there was a case of someone being arrested at an airport for having a cell phone in his rearend as well.
AS for this case, I have a picture in my mind of the guy having been pulled aside from the metal detector lines and being wanded, then having to strip to his underwear and being wanded again, then stripping entirely and being wanded again....and the homeland security guys calling more and more people over.
Can you imagine the conversation, "Hey, you've gotta see this!" and "You won't believe this...we've got a live one."
All the other jihadis call him "Silver Bullet"
If I had to bet mo-foes Islamic countries rank #1,2,3,4 in 'anal phone sex' keyword searches the same as they do in bestiality searches.
If the maroons weren't so hell-bent on killing the rest of us they'd be the butt of many butt jokes. :)
Too bad we have to worry about what these assholes have in their assholes.
It sheds a whole new light on the question:
"Who blew up the crapper?"
-XRDC
I'm sitting here with tears running down my face and with my sides aching because of you guys. Stop it, I say.
On a serious note, these kinds of acts are not necessarily dry runs for the real thing, but just deliberate nuisances to make the task of security more diificult, as well as to call into question the security measures themselves. The Flying Imams incidence fits into this category.
The funniest comments I've read are on LGF. One person even suggested that the magnet and wires was a sort of compASS to help him know which direction to put his bum in the air when he was praying towards mecca.- cough-
Anyway.......folks,
I just want to make a few SERIOUS comments here and would like some serious answers from someone who actually knows something.
NEWS REPORT
The Iraqi national, a LEGAL U.S. resident, said he was trying to ease stress.
Al-Maliki, A FORMER SECURITY GUARD,
Question
A security guard? NOT HERE IN THE USA!!! SAY IT ISN'T SO! Was this AIRPORT security? What sort of security?????
NEWS REPORT
....told screeners that he knew what had triggered the alarm and proceeded to remove items from his rectum, including a rock, chewing gum and thin wire filament.
Question
So, HE started to remove items from his OWN rectom...there and then? I'll bet the screeners couldn't BELIEVE what they were seeing!
NEWS REPORT
...acting strange but initially refused to identify the items he had hidden.
A preliminary investigation appeared to rule out a theory that Al-Maliki may have been looking for weaknesses in security or was rehearsing for a terrorist act, federal and local law enforcement authorities said.
Question
Based on WHAT? His own words during the questioning? Geesh, the feds must think we are STUPID or something! Nothing here folks. Please keep using the airlines.
NEWS REPORT
....During questioning, Al-Maliki said the objects in his rectum were used to alleviate stress, federal law enforcement sources said.
The rock, authorities said he told them, was from another planet.
Question
Another planet!!! WHAT???? Sounds like this jerk was TRYING to sound insane to cover his tracks. On the other hand....maybe it was from the planet URANUS? he he
NEWS REPORT
...no other flights were disrupted at the airport, and Terminal 1, the building used by Southwest Airlines and US Airways, remained open.
Question
So then, this wasn't ENOUGH to sound an alarm? Good news for the terrorists then. All they need to do is put someone through acting WEIRD, complaining of STRESS with filaments up their bum and a load of OTHER terrorists can get on the OTHER flights while this is gong on.
Reminds me of the Saturday Night Live skit where an old lady is being checked over whilst terrorists with bullets over their shoulders and machine guns go through the metal detectors ignored in the background!
NEWS REPORT
Al-Maliki had been in the United States legally since 1994 but that federal officials were reviewing his immigration status because he may have outdated information on his green card.
Law enforcement sources said Al-Maliki previously served time in jail for criminal trespassing in Atlantic City.
In addition, he was arrested on suspicion of possession of a destructive device, but the sources said charges were dropped; details of the incident were unavailable.
Question
So folks, WHY THE HELL WAS HE STILL HERE???????
NEWS REPORT
A law enforcement source close to the investigation said Al-Maliki spent only a day in Los Angeles, arriving Monday afternoon after taking a flight from Philadelphia.
Question
I want to know EXACTLY where he was, who he met up with and what he was doing.
I remember reading about someone having a cell phone in his rear and lo and behold it was from here on Jihadwatch from November 2006.
Uh, no, I'm not a terrorist...I don't know how that phone got there...
The Courier-Mail's headline for this one is "Terror link probed." Yes, that's right. By Greg Stolz and Paula Doneman in The Courier-Mail, with thanks to Warren:
A SELF-proclaimed British multi-millionaire named Mohammed Islam who was arrested on the Gold Coast with almost $120,000 in cash is under investigation as to whether he has terrorist connections. Queensland police yesterday refused to comment on their investigation into the man, 22, but at this stage there is reportedly no evidence to link him with terrorist activity.
Islam allegedly had $118,000 in $50 notes in a suitcase and a mobile phone concealed in his rectum when he was arrested at a Surfers Paradise bus station on Thursday night.
Give the man a break. Maybe he lost the belt clip for his phone.
Posted by Robert at November 18, 2006 10:37 AM
Perhaps his gerbil had a fear of flying.