Charles at LGF has linked to a terrific parody of/addendum to Michelle Malkin's magnificent "I am John Doe" piece, skewering the Huffington Post's willfully clueless Leftist jihad enablers. It's from Bad Example.
Dear Muslim Freedom Fighter/Patriot/Hero/Martyr/Brother,You do not know me. But I act as lookout for you. You are my friend. And I am yours.
I am Huff Po.
I am flying my private plane. I am riding in my limosine. I have never ridden a bus. And the subway? Feh. That's for the little people. I am living in a gated community. I always use the VIP entrance. We'll probably never actually meet unless you're holding the door for me.
I am your flag-burner. I am your effigy-hanger. I am your high-calorie hunger-striker. I am your unshaven documentary-maker.
I am Huff Po.
I will never forget the example of the thoughtless, disruptive passengers of United Airlines Flight 93, and how racist it was of them not to just sit back on 9/11 and let the brave Muslims land the plane safely after the pilot... fell unexpectedly ill.
I will never forget those stupid, racist passengers and crew members who tackled the unfairly-accused, alleged "al Qaeda shoe-bomber" Richard Reid on American Airlines Flight 63 before he had a chance to explain that he was just using that match to find a dropped contact lens in the darkness by his feet. Perfectly understandable. Happens all the time.
[...]
I will applaud your Zionist-conspiracy-hating, American-imperialism-bashing scholars.
I will donate to your misunderstood mosque leaders as reparations for the injustices your people suffered during the Crusades.
I will raise my voice against the subjugation of your women and religious minorities to greedy American corporate interests like Halliburton and Wal-Mart.
I will embrace your attempts to educate my children with your wisdom and different truths in our schools. YAY! Diversity!
[...]
I will call in a few favors to assist your Beltway lobbying groups in moderate clothing so that they may air their many legitimate grievances. I will be right next to you shrieking "profiling" or "Islamophobia" if you don't get your way. Or maybe "Bush = Hitler". Man, I can NEVER get enough of that one!
I will put sensitivity above all else. Above safety, my family, my country, multiculturalism... No, wait... not that last one.
I will do whatever you want me to. Because I'm your friend. And I know you would never hurt me....
Read it all.
Dear Huff and puff,
Muslims want nothing of you. Just leave them alone in peace. Can you do that? Huh? No dropping bombs from the skies of Baghdad or kabul? Cool?
Absolutely brilliant.
And clearly it went over Abdullah's head.
Abdullard's our man!
Muslims want nothing from you . . . except your conversion to Islam, your submission to Islam, or your death.
TEST.
Muslims want nothing of you. Just leave them alone in peace. Can you do that? Huh? No dropping bombs from the skies of Baghdad or kabul? Cool?
Posted by: Abdullah
Dear Abby.
Let's make a deal. Imagine I am President of the USA and you are the Main mufti of all the moslems. What if I told you to take all your minions out of the Western World and return the Greek Part of Turkey back to Greece. And all of Cyprus as reparations.
Then I might back off my plans to destroy Mecca which is something I've been contemplating a lot lately.
And I will even withdraw all American Forces slowly from the Middle east as your populations return to their homelands.
We won't be needing air traffic between our lands either since the idea is one of separation.
You can have moslem Olympics since we can't trust your kind to refrain from violence even during our Games. same for Football World Cup. You guys never win anything anyway :-) D-oh!
We won't be helping you out in case of any natural disasters and we won't be sending you food - unless you pay cash up front.
I believe it would be educational for the moslems to fend for themselves for a bit and see if there's any lessons that could be learned from that.
Meanwhile we will ceontinue to enjoy our beautiful Babes in Bikinis and in our hands Martinis.
Whattaya say Abby?
I think this is an offer no sensible moslem can refuse.
"YAY! Diversity!"
Too Funny!
It would make a nice t-shirt.Just for the sheer obnoxious absurdity of it.
Absolutely brilliant, indeed, as is the original John Doe manifesto.
BTW, it's also fun to watch the "intelligent muslim" troll dazzle us with his wit and panache.
Muslims want nothing of you. Just leave them alone in peace. Can you do that? Huh? No dropping bombs from the skies of Baghdad or kabul? Cool?
Posted by: Abdullah
I can't get enough of this guy. See how peaceful they are? They want nothing of us.
You know what - I'd rather go cold than tolerate the people in our lands another day. I can't WAIT for the oil to run out. Or get so expensive where it's worth the money to get it from domestic sources like the oil sands.
We mos def need to be drilling in the Gulf. And even Alaska. National Security trumps the Secluded Environment luxuries of our "we only fly over" set.
You know the deal, noone gets in these "national" parks except members of the Audobon and the national Geographic Societies.
I say if they want a private nature reserve they can just buy one with all their untold megazillions instead of letting Joe Taxpayer foot the bill.
Damn liberals! momo's best friends!
Abby, say thank you to the liberals. Or your ass would be long gone.
"por la Calle"
I don't get it. How can HuffPo be parodied when the real parody is taking place right now on Capitol hill, in the form of legislation being drafted by Nancy, Carl, and the good Moslem Keith himself. And the joke is on us.
Congress is where the sardonic comedy should be targeted.
Keeping it real.
Is Abbydullah abbynormal? The jokes on you bud, it is on your side and huffho is better than a stinking donkey any day of the week.
Don’t worry APF, while Nanny is getting her GM, Carly can have his head fitted for an islamist pike.
Huffpost is a watering hole for Hollywood limonsine liberals and their followers, IOW the worst of the worst in the Democratic party.
So it doesn't suprise me some twisted bugger at huffpost would write some sort of sick friendship ode to Islamic mass murderers. They also seem to revel in every mistep our country makes.
All in all a very shameful group.
You could say Abby is smoking something. But then I think these islame-os don't need crack to get wack.
All they need is a cartoon.
Such as this little artwork here:
MoHAMmad with a lit bomb in his turban *-O)):~{>
MoHAMmed, full of booze and pork, pukes up Allah (((:~O????
Intoxicated MoHAMmed (((‡o{Þ
How childish.
Anyone who hasn't seen the latest in mahomet cartooning innovations should have a look at this endless gallery of Mocons. See link
http://hodja.wordpress.com/2006/02/22/muhammed-smiley/
just one more example of the limitless inventiveness of us "infidels" - even when we're just fooling around. While Mahomet FIDDLES ABOUT!!! FIDDLES ABOUT!!!!
PS, Abby - another one just for you. I'm a liberal - giving you a free education which you don't seem to appreciate.
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”
-Albert Einstein
Not that one has much need for curiosity in islam. And yes, it was written by an "infidel" - a JOO! How can curiosity be holy, Abby? When only the KKKoran is. Everything is relative, eh? or maybe it isn't.
Muhammad as a pirate (((P~{>
Muhammad as Moshe Dayan (((P~{>
Muhammad on a bad turban day ))):~{>
Muhammad with sand in his eye(((;~{>
Muhammad wearing sunglasses (((B~{>
Muhammad giving the raspberry. (((:~{>
Giving Muhammad the raspberry. ;-P
Allahfanculo-
You da bomb!
*~@):~{>
Not that one has much need for curiosity in islam. And yes, it was written by an "infidel" - a JOO! How can curiosity be holy, Abby? When only the KKKoran is. Everything is relative, eh? or maybe it isn't.
Posted by: Allahfanculo at April 3, 2007 01:19 AM
Not a filthy JOO!!! No way, no way. Yeah, maybe everything is not relative! I am in the throes of uncontrollable laughter. I rather doubt that Abdullah, a thoroughly "westernized" muslim, has a clue what's going on but he sure thinks he does! I can't stop laughing.
Muslims think they are so clever, so sly, so smart and that we are engrossed in selfish, hedonistic, sinful activities and won't notice what they're up to until it's too late. The savages are certainly in for some surprises!
Exchange Huffington for Tony Blair or European and one has the same elite socialist who just can not understand why Iran is being such a meanie.
Huffs and puffs
We have them in the UK as well.
What's not to like about Islam if you're the Prince of Wales
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/article586613.ece
Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association
http://www.galha.org/briefing/qaradawi.html
Iran is a force for peace
http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,2018261,00.html
Charles will change his mind when he is lowered into a hole with Camilla, to be stoned to death for adultry.
As will the gays.
These people live in their Ivory Towers, drink their expensive wine, lobby on their "social circuits" they "network" and pontificate but even they cannot deny the evil of islam in private during their unguarded moments.
SELF RIGHTOUS HYPOCRITES.
"Muslims want nothing of you."
Abdullah
Cool!
Now, could you please want nothing of me somewhere else?
"And clearly it went over Abdullah's head."
.....clearly.....
I also took the time to read the original HuffPo article. I really hate that Chris Kelly plays the old racism card against her. He accuses her of lumping all Arabs together as jihadists. In her writings I've never seen her do that. And the comments also continue on that line. I hate that the f***ing liberals (forgive my bad language) who pretty much expect minorities to be liberals. By their logic, because Michelle Malkin is conservative, then she is a f***ing racist. Some of the comments also accuse her of hating her own race. I'm sure I saw the term coconut somewhere. Again, the liberals' arrogance is nauseating. As a minority conservative (Indian), I feel for her. Michelle Malkin probably got a lot of s*** from fellow Asian liberals in college. Indians also do the same. I haven't come out of the closet (no not that one!) yet but I know Indians would let loose with slurs like coconut and ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) once they find out I'm not a retarded liberal.
wrathofasma,
Being a Christian, female conservative I know what you mean.
Of course, we conservatives are the narrow-minded ones and the liberals are so accepting of others.
/sarc off
Abdullah,
Do you want sharia law in the USA?
Hi ALL!
I am looking for a Tee-shirt/Bumper Sticker Company who will make bumper stickers with the following logo:
I AM JOHN DOE AND I DONT CAIR
AND
I AM JANE DOE AND I DONT CAIR..
LETS GET THESE BUMPER STICKERS MADE AND PLACE ON OUR CARS...
ANY SUGGESTIONS????
On August 6, 2003 in Houston, a Muslim named Mohammed Ali Alayed slashed the throat of his friend Ariel Sellouk, who was Jewish. Alayed had broken off his friendship with Sellouk when he began to become more devout in his Islam. On the night of the murder, he called him and they went out to a bar together before going back to Alayed’s apartment, where Alayed slit Sellouk’s throat, nearly beheading him. The two were not seen arguing at the bar. Although Alayed killed Sellouk after the fashion of jihadist murders in Iraq and went to a mosque after committing the murder, authorities said “could not find any evidence that Sellouk…was killed because of his race or religion.”[12] Alayed’s defense attorney noted that “there was no evidence to substantiate the hate element.”[13]
[12] Andrew Tilghman, “Saudi pleads guilty to killing Jewish friend in Houston,” Houston Chronicle, January 12, 2004.
[13] Seamus McGraw, “Religious Overtones Color a Murder in Texas,” Forward, January 23, 2004.
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=17959
@terise
Google "make my own bumperstickers"
or google "custom bumper stickers"
There's a bunch of companies!
GOOD LUCK!