Those shoes
A year or so ago I was, as usual, in an airport when I spotted a very tall, shabbily-dressed man wearing red tennis shoes. As it happened, I was talking on the phone with Hugh Fitzgerald at that moment, and so I told him: "I just passed by Garrison Keillor." Hugh urged me to go up to him and talk to him, but I, being a shy, retiring type, balked: "What on earth would I talk with him about?"
"Ask him what he thinks of jihad. Tell him about the site," Hugh said, but I wouldn't. Now, however, I think Hugh may have been right. Or at very least, if I had had with me a copy of my book The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam (and the Crusades), it might have been worthwhile to slip it into Keillor's hand without a word. It probably would have ended up in an airport trash bin, but maybe, just maybe, it would have headed this off.
Here (scroll down to November 27) is Keillor's take on the Crusades, from his "Writer's Almanac" (thanks to Curt):
It was on this day in 1095 that Pope Urban II, while on a speaking tour in France, called for the first Crusade to recapture Jerusalem from the Turks. There was no imminent threat. Muslims had occupied Jerusalem for hundreds of years. But Urban II had noticed that Europe was becoming an increasingly violent place, with low-level knights killing each other over their land rights, and he thought that he could bring peace to the Christian world by directing all that violence against an outside enemy. So he made up stories of how Turks in Jerusalem were torturing and killing Christians, and anyone who was willing to join the fight against them would go to heaven.About 100,000 men from France, Germany, and Italy answered the call, formed into several large groups, and marched across Asia Minor to the Middle East. Nearly half of them died from exhaustion and sickness before they ever reached their destination. They began sacking cities along the way, and they fought among each other for the spoils of each battle. When they reached the trading city of Antioch, they killed almost everyone, including the Christians who lived there. By the time they got to Jerusalem, it had recently fallen into the hands of Egyptians, who were friendly with the Vatican. But the crusaders attacked anyway, killing every Muslim they could find. The Jews in the city gathered in the temple, and the crusaders set it on fire.
Pope Urban II died two weeks later, never hearing the news. But the crusading would go on for the next 200 years. In the fourth and last Crusade, in 1202, the crusaders never even made it to Jerusalem, but got sidetracked and wound up destroying Constantinople, which was at the time the last great city left over from the Roman Empire.
Okay. Here we go again.
There was no imminent threat. Muslims had occupied Jerusalem for hundreds of years.
Yes, and how had they come to occupy Jerusalem? By means of an invading army, of course. And other invading armies, animated by the same jihad ideology, had also occupied much of the Middle East, North Africa, and Spain. They had entered France and besieged Constantinople. The Seljuk Turks' victory over the Byzantines at Manzikert in 1071, when they took the Emperor Romanus IV Diogenes prisoner, opened all of Asia Minor to them. In 1076, they conquered Syria; in 1077, Jerusalem. The Seljuk Emir Atsiz bin Uwaq promised not to harm the inhabitants of Jerusalem, but once his men had entered the city, they murdered 3,000 people. The same year the Seljuks established the sultanate of Rum (Rome, referring to the New Rome, Constantinople) in Nicaea, perilously close to Constantinople itself; from here they continued to threaten the Byzantines and harass the Christians all over their new domains. The Christian Empire of Byzantium, which before Islam’s wars of conquest had ruled over a vast expanse including southern Italy, North Africa, the Middle East, and Arabia, was reduced to little more than Greece. It looked as if its death at the hands of the Seljuks was imminent. The Church of Constantinople considered the pope a schismatic and had squabbled with him for centuries, but the new Emperor Alexius I Comnenus (1081-1118) swallowed his pride and appealed for help. And that is how the First Crusade came about: it was a response to the Byzantine Emperor’s call for help. There was no imminent threat? Alexius I Comnenus thought there was.
But Urban II had noticed that Europe was becoming an increasingly violent place, with low-level knights killing each other over their land rights, and he thought that he could bring peace to the Christian world by directing all that violence against an outside enemy. So he made up stories of how Turks in Jerusalem were torturing and killing Christians, and anyone who was willing to join the fight against them would go to heaven.
These stories were not made up. The persecution of Christians had been going on in the Holy Land for a long time. In 1004, the sixth Fatimid Caliph, al-Hakim (985-1021), ordered the destruction of churches, the burning of crosses, and the seizure of church property. He moved against the Jews with similar ferocity. Over the next ten years thirty thousand churches were destroyed, and untold numbers of Christians converted to Islam simply to save their lives. In 1009, al-Hakim gave his most spectacular anti-Christian order: he commanded that the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem be destroyed, along with several other churches (including the Church of the Resurrection). Al-Hakim commanded that the tomb inside be cut down to the bedrock. He ordered Christians to wear heavy crosses around their necks (and Jews heavy blocks of wood in the shape of a calf). He piled on other humiliating decrees, culminating in the order that they accept Islam or leave his dominions.
The erratic caliph ultimately relaxed his persecution and even returned much of the property he had seized from the Church. Thanks to al-Hakim’s change of policy, which continued after his death, in 1027 the Byzantines were allowed to rebuild the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Nevertheless, Christians were in a precarious position and pilgrims remained under threat. In 1056, the Muslims expelled three hundred Christians from Jerusalem and forbade European Christians from entering the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. After the Seljuk conquest, this situation only worsened.
About 100,000 men from France, Germany, and Italy answered the call, formed into several large groups, and marched across Asia Minor to the Middle East. Nearly half of them died from exhaustion and sickness before they ever reached their destination. They began sacking cities along the way, and they fought among each other for the spoils of each battle. When they reached the trading city of Antioch, they killed almost everyone, including the Christians who lived there. By the time they got to Jerusalem, it had recently fallen into the hands of Egyptians, who were friendly with the Vatican.
The Vatican? An anachronistic term for the 11th century, but why should a Scandinavian Lutheran know that?
But the crusaders attacked anyway, killing every Muslim they could find. The Jews in the city gathered in the temple, and the crusaders set it on fire.
Yes, and for this brutality, as common as it was in the conduct of warfare at the time, and not singular as it is frequently portrayed today, there is no excuse.
Pope Urban II died two weeks later, never hearing the news. But the crusading would go on for the next 200 years. In the fourth and last Crusade, in 1202, the crusaders never even made it to Jerusalem, but got sidetracked and wound up destroying Constantinople, which was at the time the last great city left over from the Roman Empire.
Four Crusades? Even in the Wikipedia article linked in Keillor's post, there is reference to nine Crusades, and other lesser crusading operations. And of course neither Wikipedia nor Keillor mentions that during the 200-year period in which the Crusaders were most active, there were no Muslim incursions into Europe, although there were many such incursions both before and after this period. That 200-year interruption may have saved Europe and Western civilization from being completely conquered and Islamized, and thus made it possible for Keillor to make a career out of being affectionately condescending toward his family and childhood friends and neighbors, and featuring their charmingly naif music. But does he thank the Crusaders, without excusing their crimes? Would he dare? Not on your life!
"As it happened, I was talking on the phone with Hugh Fitzgerald"
...he was talking to himself?
"the sixth Fatimid Caliph, al-Hakim (985-1021)"
--isn't the Druze faith based on worshipping this man?
".....that during the 200-year period in which the Crusaders were most active, there were no Muslim incursions into Europe,..."
...it is better to fight them there than here....
"...That 200-year interruption may have saved Europe and Western civilization from being completely conquered and Islamized,..."
....a lesson in history that is lost in the political pundits in todays governments....
"...In 1004, the sixth Fatimid Caliph, al-Hakim (985-1021), ordered the destruction of churches, the burning of crosses, and the seizure of church property. He moved against the Jews with similar ferocity. Over the next ten years thirty thousand churches were destroyed, and untold numbers of Christians converted to Islam simply to save their lives. ..."
...it is now 2007 and nothing has changed....The Muslims are still trying to destroy all Non MUslim churches, they still seize churches and destroy all vestiges of the religion that one was there and the Muslims still try to force conversions to Islam under the threat of death to those who refuse....
...Ban Muslim Immigration....
It is now 2007, and they whip people for naming teddy bears mohammad, don't they.
I'll buy two pigs, name one allah the other mohammad. I have an assult rifle named Betty-Jo.
If someone were to try and whip me because of the aptly named pigs -- which will end up on an Easter dinner menu eventually -- Betty-Jo would not be amused and probably would have a lot to say about the matter on my behalf.
The school teacher should adapt a new lesson plan (I can provide a recommendation of course) and that "very tall,shabbily-dressed man wearing red tennis shoes" probably should not be allowed to board an airliner in the first place let alone get near an airport!
Another example of what liberal thinking has done to screw up our Heartland.
The Cherokee, (my ancestors) believed that a tribe was defeated when the women laid their hearts on the ground.
America, she has her heart(land) on the ground.
Keillor was an English major not a History major in college and he has the US Protestant's antipathy to anything related to the Catholic Church. He would do well to read common accounts of the Crusades from sources like the Britannica. The Crusades were a complex series of events. Not all virtuous and not all evil.
Garrison Keillor’s idea of history is slap-dash to say the least.
Watch the first minute or so of this video.
Doesn’t it remind you of him?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juOQhTuzDQ0&eurl=http://www.spectator.co.uk/stephenpollard/378396/is-france-a-country.thtml
Re-writting history is very commom among islamo-nazis and their western apologists.
The Roman Catholic church has many mistakes, but western civilization owes her a great deal. Lazy people like Keillor should do their home work before they "spit on freedom".
"Red tennis shoes"? Didn't it used to be just red socks? He must be getting more crankish with age.
and yes, I did check up on you to make sure you did not misspeak, and yes I found a picture of him in red tennis shoes via google.
A few of his Lake Woebegone stories are very well done but as time goes by his very voice grates on my nerves.
And now that I have had time to check in at jihadwatch I must read Hugh's interludes as I promised him I would do.
Large Somali communities have been relocated en masse to the surprised citizens of Lake Woebegon ...where the men are strong, the children above average, and the women wear abayas and don't ever step foot out the house.
Robert was right in not talking to this leftist loony tune from the Caliphate of Minnesota. Trying to talk jihad with the likes of him would be like trying to explain the theory of relativity to a three year old.
But at least the three year old would most likely be receptive to something new and might actually grasp a concept or two, something I doubt Keillor would be capable of.
I've always thought Keillor was just another smarmy Scandinavian third-way socialist. His remarks show he's worse than I thought.
The politically-correct, guilt-ridden Western leftists like to talk a lot about diversity, but in fact they are fixated on the West and Christianity, and are truly ignorant of the non-Western world and non-Western history. (Actually they're pretty ignorant about the West and Christianity, too, but not so much.) They recognize only the sins of the post-Roman West. Consider imperialism. Only the West is condemned for imperial expansion; the conquest of the Americas and the later occupation of much of Africa and Asia is condemned. But the expansion of various other imperial enterprises is glossed over -- like the Islamic conquests in the Mid-East, north Africa, central Asia, India, southern Europe, the East Indies, and sub-Saharan Africa.
Likewise in the case of religion. All four of the large religions -- Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam -- expanded into vast areas beyond their original homes. Of these, only Islam expanded almost entirely by violence and conquest. But it's Christianity that is singled out for criticism.
Or consider slavery. Almost every culture practised slavery for at least part of its history. But only the Western, trans-Atlantic slave trade, which lasted only three centuries, is ever criticised. The Islamic slave-taking has lasted nearly fourteen centuries, and involved three continents, and many times as many victims. But our PC diversity-lovers ignore that.
Keilor always reminded me, audio-wise, of Bill Clinton with an even more fulsome faux folksy accent.
I guess speaking tours of Dubai and Bahrain are next.
Where are men are rich and all women invisible.
And all garrisons, mosques.
It continues to gall and astound me that these pseudointellectual, anti-western civilization, secular, celebrities use their public podium to rewrite history. It is obvious that Mr. Keillor's understanding of the Crusades is severely lacking. Or... this is a blatant attempt at pandering to a easily duped and equally Crusades ignorant public.
So when do we stop aplolgizing for past sins and recognise that western societies have progressed and Islamic ones haven't?
A fatwa against those shoes....and that tie.
Having lived there, I have always admired Mr. Keillor’s great wit and sardonic grasp of the Midwestern character in his hit radio series “A Prairie Home Companion’ but his latest expression of ‘Western Guilt’ over the crusades has given me pause in my previous reflection. It is interesting to note that islam is often literally translated into the word ‘submission’ – something Garrison Keillor is obviously well adept at from an apparent ignorance of historical facts. How very sad that a man so talented and intelligent could miss the mark so miserably.
I was an English Major, which I know includes 2 years of History requirements. Therefore, Keillor has no excuse in that department.
As a raised Protestant I can inform you he has no excuse there either if he would just pull his head out of his a$$.
I know d@mn well we owe much to the Catholic Church, and it was from my studies in college. But then I studied much of the older works, and was fascinated with the Templars (so invariably studied the Crusades).
--isn't the Druze faith based on worshipping this man?
I don't believe they worship him, but yes, they are, in some way, the religious descendants of al-Hakim. Interestingly enough, within Israel they are fairly supportive of the Jewish state. In Lebanon, not so much.
Assalamau Laikum all,
The crusades themselves were not all that successful against us muslims. Only the 1st crusade managed to get to Jerusalem. After taking it back from the infidel, some years later, the 7 crusades later failed quite nicely thank you.
What has continuously incensed muslims is that the crusades stole and emulated vital Islamic tools of success.
The following 3 key factors that surprised us muslims and defeated us on the 1st crusade were all taken from us....hence the hatred.
1)Fighting a holy war was a muslim idea…The idea of a Holy War against Allah’s chosen started to become acceptable to medieval European secular and religious powers, as well as the public in general ....note...we don’t like being copied when we are successful.
2)The union of several kingdoms fighting under Holy guidance was 1st created by the muslim…so called Ummah.
The emerging political conception of Christendom, saw the union of Christian kingdoms under Papal guidance for the first time (in the High Middle Ages) and the creation of a Christian army to fight us Muslims...it's not the fighting...it was OUR idea...a muslim idea…and we don’t like being copied when we are successful.
3)Pope Urban II first disseminated to the general public the idea of a Crusade to capture the Holy Land with the famous words, Deus vult! ("God wills it!"). I mean the deception here is descipible….Deus vult….Deus vult...he STOLE it…STOLE IT from Allahu Akbar....Aghhhhhhh!!.
Now that you you know the truth...it hurts doesn't it..…your crusader ancestor morons had to steal and emulate vital Islamic tools of success.....hence the hatred.
Jihad Watchers:
If the post above doesn't convince you that this Naseem fellow is a non-Muslim who is enjoying winding you up, nothing will.
Cordially
Robert Spencer
A fatwa against those shoes....and that tie.
Posted by: Bigfoot at November 29, 2007 10:19 AM
But what about that face? That hideous face!
Spencer was smart not talking to Keillor.
Because any man who dresses like a down on his luck circus clown is bound to be a man of bad judgement, taste and limited intellect. And he proved when he spewed his leftist drivel in regards to the crusades.
Mind you Keillor's view on the crusades isn't unique to him, many other leftists hold the same opinion. They essentially see the west and Christians as the sole source of evil in the world.
Wasn't there a comedy about that kind of dress?
"The man with two red shoes"? or something like that.
(/sarc)
lol
His dress is as out of touch as his propaganda...lol
The guy looks like a retard and sounds like one. Red shoes don't make it...
The guy looks like a retard and sounds like one. Red shoes don't make it...
Posted by: sheik yer'mami at November 29, 2007 12:38 PM
Please, don't insult retarded people like that!
Naseem has hijacked the comic thread and made it unintentionally funnier. Therefore, I am angry at Naseem for stealing our comedic ideas, and hence, umm, the ridicule. At Naseem. Or Keillor. Whatever.
As I look at that picture, it occurs to me for some reason that I haven't seen a Looney Tunes episode featuring Gossamer in the longest time.
To the loyal taxpayers of the US: Mr Garrison Keillor's fame is due primarily to his tax funded show on PBS. Without PBS, he would be a nobody.
Shabbily-dressed? He is probably ashamed of his income and is trying to look humble.
Robert@jihadwatch:
“If the post above doesn't convince you that this Naseem fellow is a non-Muslim who is enjoying winding you up, nothing will.”
Well, having been thoroughly “wound-up” by Naseem’s “non-muslim-ness’, I have just one feeble comment to make: my, Naseem, how your English has improved! LOL
jcom972:
"The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe" was the title. A very funny French film from the early 70's, a spoof of the secret-agent genre, in which a concert violinist is mistaken for an international spy.
Now, more seriously, to Naseem.
(1)The idea of a war to loot, plunder, and enslave your neighbors, and become a ruling elite over them, was scarcely original to Islam. It goes back at least as far as the dawn of recorded history, nearly 4000 years before the appearance of Islam. The idea that God ordered one to loot, enslave, etc. was Islam's contribution.
(2) In the High Middle Ages, Europe was hardly a union of kingdoms under papal guidance. Instead Europe was a whole menagerie of competing kingdoms, duchies, republics, and free cities, many of them in bitter opposition to the papacy. Indeed, it was this competitive situation that was Europe's strength. It never again became unified after the fall of Rome, and thus never fell into the torpor and indolence that happened to other civilizations that maintained the imperial state as the ideal.
"If the post above doesn't convince you that this Naseem fellow is a non-Muslim who is enjoying winding you up, nothing will."
-- from a posting by Robert Spencer above
Robert, you know that we disagree on this Naseem business. You know I have repeatedly maintained that Naseem is indeed a female, living in Pakistan, though sometimes visiting a son in the U.K., an Ahmadi and therefore not recognized by the Pakistani government as a real Muslim, and so on. And I have explained, to my own satisfaction, that Naseem's ability to write accurate, sometimes complicated English, is not unusual. One often sees perfectly good English (as we take it) in the Indian press, for exammple, and then phrases that bear no relation to what we think of as English. Possibly Nassem lifts whole phrases from articles written by othes in English, an English that would for her be impossible without such an artificial aid. And at the same time she continues to write bizarre, but consistent in its bizarreries, Pakistani English, with everyone's favorite phrase surely being that about "wild slutty womens."
You, and many others here, may or must by now, find my arguments unconvincing, and have concluded that I am gullible, and at this point possibly a fool not to concede. Well, I still don't.
But perhaps I should dilate uoon this. You see, I'm a Medical Miracle. I have apparently gone right from dementia praecox to senile dementia, in an irregular heartbeat. Yes, that's the only diagnosis that makes sense, and that I offer here, both as that diagnosis, and as an excuse.
Greetings:
The red shoes are to get him back to Oz.
As my father used to say, " Look at the puss on that guy."
"at this point a fool.."
-- from my own posting above
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=aV21ifb4saU
From Pelayo:
Without PBS, he would be a nobody.
Even with PBS, he's nobody; a vapid molecular assemblage, likely to melt, at any moment, into a gelatinous puddle in his goofy shoes.
From Robert:
If the post above doesn't convince you that this Naseem fellow is a non-Muslim who is enjoying winding you up, nothing will.
Hmmm… I see your point. Would a male, burka wearing, leftist propagandist for Islam be a… crosstalker?
Garrison strikes me as a capable promoter who has used government radio to project his limited talents and tired formulaic format much farther than one would have thought was humanly possible. While he probably sees himself as a 21st century Mark Twain, he teeters on the brink of unconscious self-parody.
Hugh:
Elvis Presley sings that song, and, as is his wont with all competitors, rips Ewan McGregor to shreds.
Yrs
Robert
If today's topic is the Crusades, can a Monty Pythonesque romp not be far behind? The Man With Two Minds debating the existence of The Woman With Two Faces--LOL!
No. 4 on our favorite troll's list of co-opted Islamic innovations:
The establishment of the Anticaliphate of Cyberspace, led by the Captain of Infidels, the Most Worshipful Antikalifah Rubir'tal-Sbunsar I, the Praised One, unleashing the armies of Counterjihad from West to East, sweeping all before them, Deus Vult! Deus vult! DEUS VULT!
Oh, so sorry...
Seem to have let my fanaticism get away from me, there.
I know, "DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS."
Deus vult.
I was just looking at the pic of Keillor and he reminds me of two subjects. One is that he could easily be passed of as the "Grinch" without all of the makeup used on Jim Carrey. Two is that he also reminds me of a chemistry instructor at my old high school. Take off the jacket and he would have massive sweat marks/stains from never changing. Hard to take someone with such disregard for personal appearance serious. BTW, the chem instructor was fired after only one school year.
Robert, Garrison Keillor is not a Scandinavian Lutheran. He grew up Plymouth Brethren, a fundamentalist Christian denomination.
Judging from his looks and the liberties that he takes joking about Lutherans, many are led to believe that he's a Norwegian Lutheran, but that's not the case. Here's his bio. Cheers!
Kevin, here is another take on people who seem to look rather shabby:
Back in the dark ages, at my giant, land grant, football machine, alma mater, two full years of English were required for graduation, even for engineering students. One English professor usually came to class dressed in a similar fashion to Mr. Keillor, but with dirty shoes and a corduroy jacket with holes in the suede elbow patches. That's what I noticed more than anything were the holes and shoes with dried mud.
For three summers I had a job manufacturing plastic cabinet tops (Formica, Wilson Art, etc.). Sometimes I would help install them. One Saturday in 1967 or '68 we delivered a top to a very large house in one of the most exclusive parts of the city. I immediately recognized Professor Whatsisname; I saw a very plain unwashed Volkswagen parked in the driveway and a shiny, immaculately cleaned Mercedes Benz in the garage. This professor was also very well groomed and looked nothing like the hobo I would see on campus.
I believe that sometimes people dress like Keillor for effect, or else to hide their affluence.
"Verily I am thy Lord! Therefore (in My presence) put off thy shoes..." (Ta Ha 20:12)
Hugh,
Indeed, we do so love those "wild slutty womens!"
Hugh said
The fact that the patient views themselves as a pre-octagenarian is merely more evidence of the hebephrenia (as are the frequent mipsellings and unmatched parentheses). There is no way a person could have picked up that much knowledge in less than 192 years. Q.E.D.
"Hugh,
Indeed, we do so love those "wild slutty womens!"
...slutty womens? WHERE?!
Booty of war awaits us, Roob--let's all embark on another razzia, or foray, into Dar al-Islam at the call of the Captain of Infidels! Then you may surely enjoy all that your righteous right hand possesseth! All together now--so as to strike fear into the False Prophet's camp--DEUS VULT!!DEUS VULT!!DEUS VULT!!!
What we can at least agree upon, Mr. Spencer, is that "fair Naseem" does not wind us up to the level to which you think (or fear).
Illigitimus non carborundum!
"Jihad Watchers:
If the post above doesn't convince you that this Naseem fellow is a non-Muslim who is enjoying winding you up, nothing will.
Cordially
Robert Spencer"
Wow, no kidding. I'm convinced. Only one major typo ("descipible") and reasonably accurate grammar. I feel like such a dip for all the time I wasted on "her".
C C:
Don't let it break your heart. There are other fish in the sea; or, to put it another way, jihadists swim in a Muslim ocean.
Deus vult!