"It's life, Jim, but not as we know it": Iran launches space program

In the 6th grade, I had a Muslim classmate who told me that Neil Armstrong converted to Islam after landing on the moon and seeing 'Allah' written across the sky. Hopefully, this Iranian space mission can confirm or rebuf what my classmate told me: we can't rely on Neil Armstrong himself, particularly when he's commited blasphemy by denying his conversion in the first place ;-)

Oh great. Now they are going to claim ownership of space too. Geez, at least we got certain issues straightened out with the Soviets. Now islam is trying for space. To quote "Spaceballs": "Oh shit, Spaceballs. There goes the neighborhood."

Somehow I don't see the Iranian rocket program's motto being, "Live long and prosper," or even "We came in peace for all mankind."

To paraphrase Werner Von Braun (and Mort Sahl):

"I Aim At The Stars- but sometimes I hit Tel Aviv"

Perhaps the point of all this is to claim both the Moon and Mars as true Islamic states for their self righteous Umaah, and thus colonise yet another of our galaxies vast regions with that of "The religion of peace".

The Klingon's needed to start somewhere.

Damn it Jim, I'm a jihadi not a scientist!

One day, everyone on the planet is going to be sorry these idiots discovered fire.

Bet you a dollar that if Armandhandjob ever sends a spacecraft to the moon, it's mission will be to destroy Apollo landing sites.

Jealous, landmark destroying, mental midget dipstick.

We're always behind the curve. Our strategic planners are so worried right now about Iranian IRBMs targeting Israel and Europe. Well folks, just like North Korea has now, Iran will have an ICBM capability within 5 (probably 2) years...and America will be target number 1.

We better put new urgency in perfecting our missile defense systems...and facilitate the inevitable transition from (soon-to-be-seen as archaic) anti-missile missiles to advanced laser weaponry.

Geez...since is seems that we're going to let this happen I don't understand why we haven't been clear that a launch on us or our Israeli friends will result in an all out nuclear retaliation, not a tit for tat strike but free mass transit to paradise for all Iranians. Neighboring countries, especially those downwind of the prevailing winds might begin to take the antics of their lunatic neighbors more seriously.

Too late..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1B2UPkelNw

The crescent moon has an American flag on it. That must really tick Iran (and the rest) off to no end.

We Come In Peace

Notice the similarity between the Martians and ">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go">Ahcmed The Dead Terrorist.

The "concern of the international community" regarding Iran's development of long-range missiles and nuclear technology would sound a lot less hollow if several countries weren't busy selling their technology to Iran. They can't be getting everything from Pakistan and North Korea.

Russia? France? China?

Neil Armstrong has repeatedly denied the urban legend that he had converted to Islam. Since I assume that Neil Armstrong is the world's leading authority on Neil Armstrong I believe him.
Would someone smart enough to navigate to the moon convert to Islam?

Iranian "space" program. Should read, Iranian ICBM project.

Islamic space trip?

Can't they buy hashish much cheaper and closer to home there?

Iran just announced their intention of orbiting their first satellite.
So what? Well, we along with Israel and England are the Great Satin in their eyes.

What if. Just what if, the Iranians orbited a nuclear device and let it float around a bit until it’s over the middle center of the United States? How would we know?

Well, if they could detonate the device, it would send a pulse of EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse) from horizon to horizon. So let’s see….Altitude of 250 miles. Line of sight, or horizon would be just under 1500 miles (4250²-4000²)1/2, or from coast to coast, border to border.

Now, the EMP pulse would be somewhere around a maximum of a 1000 volts per meter, sufficient to fry every electronic device in the US, most of Mexico, and virtually all of Canada.

The loss would be incalculable and would take years to overcome. Every car, truck, coffee maker, bus, toaster, airplane, camera, microwave, television, radio, computer, and anything else with a chip would be fried - the nano sized connections within the chip actually melted into slag. So that means no vehicular transportation, no communications, no electricity, no food, no water, backed up sewage, the whole nine yards up in smoke. Absolutely nothing would work. Mob rule, chaos, and the complete collapse of society in an instant.

But the Iranians don’t want nuclear weapons, only nuclear power. So we just let them proceed with development while we play video games and argue about the nature of dust bunnies.

Strangely enough, all it takes to protect electronics is a Faraday cage, a conducting envelope surrounding your electronics. Aluminum foil completely covering a cardboard box will do nicely, just make sure you have a reliable grounding wire to siphon off excess electrical charge.

But then again, who me? Worry? The DOD is on it I’m sure. And so is the Senate, and of course Homeland Insecurity? They wouldn’t let anything like that to happen would they?

Maybe this is Ahmadinejad's over-the-top response to Israel's recent
successful test of their Jericho-3 ballistic missile that just happens to have the range to hit Iran and the capacity to carry a nuclear warhead.

An away team's last transmission from Iran: "Beam us up, Scottie; there is no intelligent life here."

Beware the jihadist in the red shirt. He's always expendable."
-Marisol-

Nice nuance Marisol. I'll add another. Mahmoud, we need light speed in thirty seconds or Israel won't be dead!

"I cannot change the laws of physics!"

But tradition holds that Allah might, on a whim.

a10billr,

lol Dust bunnies.

TAMAR: I hear and obey the voice of Landru. (The Lawgiver kills him with his hollow stave)
LAWGIVER: You attacked the Body. You have heard the Word and disobeyed. You will be absorbed.

Later…
LANDRU: You will be absorbed. Your individuality will merge into the unity of the good, and in your submergence into the common being of the Body, you will find contentment and fulfillment. You will experience the absolute good.

And later…
SPOCK: This is a soulless society, Captain. It has no spirit, no spark. All is indeed peace and tranquility. The peace of the factory, the tranquility of the machine. All parts working in unison.

And finally…
KIRK: Without freedom of choice, there is no creativity. Without creativity, there is no life. The body dies. The fault is yours.
And…
KIRK: Then the evil must be destroyed. That is the Prime Directive. And you are the evil.

One must be suspicious that the spineless toadies lording over western-democracy are praying that Israel will, in the end, attack Iran’s nuclear facilities. For the moment, however, whilst Israel’s, own, toady, Olmert, is readily collaborating with the enemies of Israel: there is no prospect of Israel doing the west’s dirty deed.
Perhaps the recent photo, of a human or near life-form on Mars, was actually a Jihadist striving to get nearer to Allah.
The west in its arrogance has a history of underestimating its enemies. Apparently, this has not changed… whether one is speaking of our befuddled and inept leaders or the numerous leftists whom reckon, the west is the malevolent entity.
The longer our inane and spineless leadership procrastinates; the consequences shall be apocalyptic, needlessly.

Gee, maybe there could be a Star Trek episode in which President Ahmadinejad and the Ayatollah Khomeni would be forced by aliens to wrestle Captain Kirk and Abraham Lincoln...

Butterfly,

Holy Moley! The Landru episode was never one of my favorites, but reading your excerpts from the script, I see this HAS to be where the idea of the Borg came from!

Hey, if Ahmadinejad experiences technical difficulty with his rocket, and hits a neighboring country (strictly an accident), do you think he'll admit to the entire world that he and his fellow Iranians just couldn't get it up?

One can always hope the conclusion to this affair would be as it was in the movie Dr Strangelove:

Thug in chief standing in for Slim Pickens taking a bareback ride to hell, screaming Allah Akbar, as he streaks towards Tel Aviv straddling a nuclear missle. But to his dismay the nuclear triggers he acquired on the nuclear black market section of EBAY malfunction, as they were actually defective Livermore Labs repackaged customer returns, purchased by sketchy arms dealers by the pallet load.

The triumphant shrill shrieks of Allah Akbarrrrrr, fade to a guttural, "Oh Shit" when the missile crashes harmlessly into the ground...

Fade to black as the 13th imam sticks his head into the sunshine, shrugs, and climbs back into the well.

To boldly go... where no 7th Century supremist Death Cult has gone before

Captain Kirk: Bones, what do you make of it?

Dr. McCoy: Damn it Jim, I´m just an old country doctor, not an expert on complex totalitarian death cults.

Mr. Spock: If we neglect to study this cult, we may find ourselves in an increasingly disadvantageous strategic position. I estimate our current odds of our survival at 623.6 to 1.

Chekov:Captain, the Iranian ship is giving off traces of Cobalt 324.

Captain Kirk: Shields up. Go to red alert.

Uhura: Captain, I have an incoming transmission from Starfleet Command.

Kirk: On screen.

[appearing on screen]Commodore Decker: Captain Kirk, you are not to resist the Iranians or to interfere with them in any way.

Kirk: Commodore, our instruments are detecting byproducts of cobalt bomb synthesis on board the Iranian vessel. The Iranians are clearly...

Decker: No Captain, I have the Iranians´ word their intentions are not hostile. They´ve repeatedly said they are using cobalt for peaceful purposes. And the consensus of the media...

Kirk: Consensus of the media?! Consensus of the media? With all due respect, Commodore, I know this Ahmadenijad, he´s a...

Decker: That´s enough, Captain! You will stand down now. If you don´t, the Iranians will think you are starting a war with the whole Islamic world, and I´ll have hell to pay to Federation bureaucrats.

Kirk: I suppose you think Islam is a religion of peace?

Decker: Be very careful Jim. You are on thin ice as it is with your politically incorrect record. This isn´t the early 1960s anymore.

Kirk: Well, duhhhh...stardate 3127.6.

Decker:And Starfleet doesn´t discriminate on the basis of religion or in any other way.

Kirk: Yes, of course not, but there is no reliable way to distinguish a peaceful liberal Muslim from a jihadist supporter or a promoter of sharia. Why...

Decker: Now that´s enough Kirk. You will stand down, and you will stand down now, understood?

Kirk:[pauses, looks pensive, then:] What did you say sir?...I´m sorry sir, the transmission is becoming garbled.

[McCoy´s and Spock´s eyes discreetly meet and Spock slightly raises an eyebrow. Chekov looks at the Captain and is about to deny there is anything wrong with the transmission, but at a look from the Captain, Chekov gets a small grin on his face and turns back to his console.]

Decker: Jim, you can´t get away with this, you hear me! You will stand...

Kirk: I´m sorry Commodore, I´ll get back to you just as soon as our communications are back up.

Decker: Kirk, Kirk!!...

Kirk: Chekov, screen off. Sulu, arm photon torpedos. Prepare to fire...

To quote Tom Lehrer [from this was the year that was]:

"Vunce ze rocketz are up who carez where zey cumm down."

If they're smart enough to build their own missiles then that means that at least some of them are smart enough to know what a load of b•llshyte the KKKoran is.

Just as in Germany a lot of their scientists knew that Hitler was an idiot.

To be smart also meant to kn ow the consequences of one's actions and thus to keep one's mouth shut.

That is what is going on in Iran I suspect. Most of the real scientists know the insanity of it all and they simply choose to look the other way and stay alive for the time being.

That does not have to be this way for their "intellectuals". Ed Said is a perfect example for islamist delusionism.. a true scientist howver has to deal with the Laws of Physics. Which is something that requires a command of Logic.

Star Trek
Ahh I wish we lived that world, perfect, no religion whatsoever, no wars but exploration and science! My wet dream for sure! Having to explore and create without the barriers of religion and especially islam.

Shouldn't we be doing something about this? Like bombing their missile sites!? We're the Great Satan, and we're falling asleep at the switch!

Charlie Brown-

good grief!

traeh:

That was brilliant.

Though Mr Spock would take you to task over the likelihood of cobalt ever having an atomic mass above 80, as an impossibility.

the ayatullahs will be shock that after all the moon is not crescent but circle!

hahahahaha

Posted by: sheik yer'mami

Can't they buy hashish much cheaper and closer to home there?

Not a good idea, just look where space trippng can lead

http://illustratedpig.blogspot.com/2008/02/deadheads-for-obama.html

Worse still, buying ganja only supports the Jihadi cause

http://illustratedpig.blogspot.com/2008/02/dats-one-in-da-eye-for-paki-pride.html

Wow, Shiva!

I saw those pic's and the way the Grateful Dead have degenerated. Not exactly encouraging.

For those who haven't seen the Aussie Jihad sheila's on TV last night you can watch here:

http://sheikyermami.com/2008/02/06/aussie-jihad-sheilas/

Please read this commentary from Ahmadinejad' guru, Yezdi. Yezdi is a thousand times as dangerous as bin Laden. Al-Qaeda is a movement; Yezdi controls a state entity. If Bush wasn't a whore to Muslim pimps, he would have tossed nukes at Iran at the first pretext. Qom would look like the Moon, if the US President wasn't oil-patch programed to support a sham religion based stability in the Middle East. Unless the current course is changed, Bush will go down in history as the worst squanderer of US security.

http://www.tebyan.net/index.aspx?pid=31159&BookID=20604&Language=3

The biographer of Hadith compiler, al-Bukhari, referred to "600,000" claimed hearsay comments of the phony prophet of the terror cult. Sunni terror apologists routinely deny the claim. Shiites, or ahl-bayt (people of the bloodline, of Muhammad), aren't as slavish to Sunni "sahih" (authenticity) claims, thus, are less likely to coverup discreditation claims. On this page, they admit that most hearsay compilations are fabricated. People are dying because they believe hadith is accurate. Study in same is important to imans. Deobandi and Islamic University (Medina) 6 year curriculums, require 1 year of hadith study to become a Qadi/Iman/Sheik. (The fact that bin Laden is 4 years short of becoming a real sheik doesn't phase his supporters)

http://www.tebyan.net/index.aspx?pid=31159&BookID=20791&Language=3

THE FORGED (FABRICATED) HADITHS

1. History of Fabrication:

a. During Benu Umayya's Rule.

b. During Benu Abbas' Rule, in particular with the advent of the schools of thought in Islam.

2. By the year 200 H.: Total of 600,000 Hadiths were in existence, out of which 408,324 Hadith were fabricated Hadiths by 620 forgerers.

3. Most Notorious Forgerers: Ibn Jundub, Abu Bukhtari, Ibn Basheer, Abdullah Al-Ansaari, Al-Sindi. Ibn Au'jaa professed before he was hanged that he alone had forged 4,000 Hadiths.

4. Reason to Fabricate:

a. Financial incentive by the Khalifas, for example Mu'awiya awarded Ibn Jundub and others hundreds of thousands of dinars for coming forth with Hadiths that suited him.

b. As a means of self-promotion in the government.

c. In a drive to enhance a particular school of thought.

d. Fanaticism for a school of thought at the expense of others.

5. Al-Qassassoon (The story-tellers): Their operation and major role in the public.

Introduction to the Hadith, A. Rahman Doe, Page 34.

Al-Ghadeer, Al-Amini, Vol. 5, Page 245.

Mish'kaat Al-Masabeeh, Translation by Fazlul Karim, Vol. 1, Pages 17-20.

Al-Saadiq and the Four Madh'habs, Asad Haidar, Vol. 1, Page 218.

Al-Saadiq and the Four Madh'habs, Asad Haidar, Vol. 1, Pages 264-268.

This just reminds me of Saddam's MDPs which could not srvive the first airstrick of 1990-1991 Gulf war.
Fantasy dreams which will make the Iranian people only more poor, and at the end of the day they will fall under sanctions which make the Mulahs richer & the people poorer.
Same stupid storey of blind dictatorship all over agagin:
Farid

if Iran gets an ICBM. I have a bad feeling. Their first target will be the White House. And what is to stop them getting a atomic warhead from North Korea

Wait! The book.... the qur'an... the book of answers to all of man's problems... the book that will serve man in his elimination of wars, discrimination, hunger, economic disparities, indeed all of his shortcomings.

It's a cookbook!

To Serve Man
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"To Serve Man" is a science fiction short story written by Damon Knight, later adapted for use as an episode of the 1960s television series The Twilight Zone. In 2001, the story was awarded a Retro Hugo Award for the Best Short Story of 1951.

Synopsis

The story involves helpful alien emissaries, the telepathic Kanamits, giving mankind all the necessary tools to survive and to end wars and famine. As a further token of friendship they even freely transport humans to their paradise-like planet.

The aliens accidentally leave behind a book. A United Nations official (Mr. Chambers) and his staff take their time in deciphering the book by means of a rudimentary Kanamit-English dictionary. Eventually they are able to translate the title as "To Serve Man". Mr. Chambers signs up for a flight to the alien home world, but as he climbs on board the ship for the trip, his assistant yells to him not to get on: "It's a cookbook!" The irony of the story is that instead of 'serving man' by providing for his needs, the aliens were literally 'serving man' as a meal on their home planet.

You are worried that they MAY develop an ICBM?
Far to late. Any low earth orbital device is ALREADY an ICBM. The only extra bit is to fire a retro and kick it into re-entry towards your intended target. The physics to do this are well understood, and modern computing power and miniature GPS, to tell the thing exactly where it is in orbit and when to fire them could fit in a cigarette packet (just look at your car satnav).
They wont get accuracy down to meters, but just dropping one somewhere on New York State would be a dream for Nutjob and the mad mullahs.
They will get a warhead (if not already) from their mates in Pakistan, I would also not be surprised if their enrichment process was way ahead of all estimates. If they ever get their hands on the bomb it will be a matter of time before they use it.

They are however too stupid to realise that shortly after their little mushroom rose, Iran would be covered in far bigger ones, Dozens of them.

In Star Trek the prime directive consist to never share a technology that the receivers are not able to develop themselves because to develop it they have to improve all domains of knowledge.

Sometimes it could be seen as rude, think for example to medical assistance, but conversely we assist today to a demographic threat. Hell is paved with good intentions. But the result could be more casualties in Western world in the future than they would have suffered if left alone.

Now I heard that some Universities in the West reject Iranians students in nuclear physics departments...Too late and insufficient.

Too bad we do not follow the prime directive when we still had time. The price to pay to be the nice guys will be high.

Methinks the Iranians are going to play the part of the Klingons in the unfolding space drama ahead.