Jihad Watch Contest time! Bomb, Iraqi dough found in stolen car in New Mexico, Feds rule out terrorism

Alfred.jpg
The new FBI seal and motto?

It’s time for a Jihad Watch contest! The FBI says they have ruled out terrorism. Still, I can’t help but wonder what Iraqis would be doing with a bomb and a stolen car in New Mexico. I’ll send a free autographed copy of one of my books (your choice) to the person who can solve this mystery for me, and come up with the best (most imaginative, most entertaining, loopiest, most outlandishly plausible) explanation.

Los Lunas, by the way, is just south of Albuquerque, slightly west of the center of the state. “Bomb, Iraqi currency lure FBI into stolen-car case,” by Jeff Maher and Reed Upton at KOB.com (thanks to Mackie):

The FBI is now involved in the theft of a car after it was found in Los Lunas with an explosive device and Iraqi currency inside

FBI agents say that they have ruled out terrorism.

The car was reported stolen last week. After the theft, the car’s owner was fueling his motorcycle when he spotted his stolen car….

The car’s owner pulled the keys out of the ignition of his stolen car and the people in the car fled.

When police arrived, they found the explosive device and less than $1,000 worth of Iraqi cash.

“We don’t know what their intentions were,” said Nuanes. “We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.”…

FacebookTwitterLinkedInDiggBlogger PostDeliciousEmailPinterestRedditStumbleUponPrint

Comments

  1. says

    This is what I brought up in the previous post!

    All sorts of craaaaazy things going on all over the US and we’re either being told “it’s not terrorism” related or the stories are quietly fading into oblivion with no further explanations.

    yeah…”its not terrorism related” you think they’re actually gonna grow some and call it “JIHAD RELATED” ?

    Humpf. OK I need a beer.

  2. says

    Im not a conspiracy theorist in any way but…if it waddles, has webbed feet, likes water and quacks…I usually figure its a DUCK!

    Im afraid that at least for the last 6 months, the physical and violent jihad has been getting under way & gaining strength in the US.

    Just read about the bizzare events that have been going on nationwide and quietly shoved away by the media (govt?). Stepped up activity by those of the FBI persuasion is also quite amusing. Something’s up???

    -I mean…stolen car found in New Mexico today with Iraqi currency and a bomb. (yet FBI is saying they’ve ruled out terrorism…they must have changed the meaning of “terrorism” while I wasn’t looking)
    -Huge underground explosion near LAX yesterday killed 1 firefighter.
    -Bomb squad called Tuesday for suspicious package in Pullman Washington (yet no follow up on story)
    -Monday, Union Pacific Railroad had to call out the bomb squad when unidentified males took off from railyard after being spotted and leaving behind what appeared to be a battery with wires attached

    on and on and on…

    hear, read some for yourselves….

    http://www.nationalterroralert.com/

    I guess not enough people care enough to read and research what’s going on in our own country. Unless it happens in their own town, no one notices anything fishy. Problem is…the US is a big country and our jihadist enemas know this. The smart thing for them to do (which they obviously are doing) is keep incidents spread so as to not alarm too many folks.

  3. says

    “We don’t know what their intentions were,” said Nuanes. “We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.”…
    — from the article above

    On the other hand, the FBI “rules out terrorism.”

    How can the FBI “rule out terrorism” if they “don’t know what they [those in possession of the stolen car] were planning on doing with any of this”? Or does “rules out terrorism” means “rules out previous acts of terrorism” because none have occurred around here” but not “the planning of future acts of terrorism.”

    How common is it for people to drive around New Mexico with Iraqi currency and an explosive device? Possibly it’s the custom of the countryside, but where I live, this would be cause for suspicion. Perhaps the What–Me Worry? trademarked could be bought by the American government from Mad Magazine Enterprises — or donated by MME to the government as a patriotic service — so that it might become the Official Motto of the FBI.

    Yes, it hath a noble and, what’s more, most relevant ring:

    What — Me Worry?

  4. says

    Here is my contest entry:
    They were Islamophobes and Iraqophobes attempting to the defame the name of Islam and Iraq by their actions. It certainly wasn’t Islamic terrorism. All those who try to associate these Abduls with Islam are obviously bigots and racists.

    I expect my book within two weeks.

  5. says

    He has Iraqi currency because he’s an Iraqi govt something or other on official business.
    The device is a new type of an IED and the guy was looking for help figuring how to defend against it.
    Really I think the FBI should apologize for chasing him all over the place.
    (this is for the contest)

  6. says

    These poor Iraqis, whose land was destroyed by Halliburton and Blackwater, combined with the rape of all natural resources of all arab lands by the corrupters of Allah’s word, and the crusaders were here in a new zionist planned forced diaspora trying find a way to live with dignity. Explosives being the main component of dignity, they simply were looking for tree stumps in the New Mexican desert to clear land for farming.

    Now they will probably have to make do on Honey Glazed Chicken and Rice Pilaf in the Caribbean resort, if they are found

  7. says

    OKay, let’s try.

    The currency is virtually worthless, but was brought back from Iraq by a soldier as a memento of Mesopotamian months.

    The explosive device is a little harder to explain. Possibly it reflects merely a desire to remember those nights, just a year or two ago, when all the world and love was young, and that boy-scout urge was satisfied by camping out near the grounds of the Saddam Palace in Tikrit (FOB Danger), and nostalgia for the danger of those IEDs could not be shaken. And so instead of the real thing, the “explosive device” that was found turns out to be merely a homegrown attempt to manufacture an IED and carry it around, just for the sake of recalling those nights camping out near the grounds of the Saddam Palace in Tikrit (FOB Danger), and getting in convoys, never knowing if one would live, or one would die, as one went out to build schools and hospitals and repair power grids and keep this group of Iraqis from killing that group of Iraqis, with the permutations and combinations of those intra-Iraqi alliances and enmities both fluid and bewildering.

    Yes, just a little memento of war (that currency) and a fabricated reminder of the thrill of danger (that explosive device).

    That’s as idiotically plausible, or as plausiblly idiotic, as I can make it.

    When those who “took off” are finally arrested, when the keystone-koppery finallly ends, and we know their names, then we can find out the truth.

  8. says

    Robert,

    It’s real simple. These individuals are staunch patriots who had made a wrong turn from Basra and ended up in Los Lunas. They were carrying explosives because they were hoping to engage in prospecting for oil in the fertile lands of the Desert Southwest, which is not unlike their former homes in Basra.

    The money isn’t worth $1,000 because it was Iraqi currency, you see, and when tied to the value of the US dollar, is really worth about $1.50, not even enough to get a ride on the NYC subway.

    The car thing was just a misunderstanding between former partners who had a falling out because the value of the dollar keeps falling, while the cost of prospecting has gone up.

  9. says

    I suspect that they are competing for the Automotive X Prize.

    From Wikipedia:

    The Progressive Automotive X PRIZE is a prize from the X PRIZE Foundation to encourage the creation of a new generation of viable, environmentally-friendly vehicles. Teams compete for multi-million-dollar cash prizes by designing and building super-efficient marketable vehicles that will achieve 100 MPG (2.35 liter/100 kilometer) or its equivalent.

    Maybe, what happened was this. The suspects went to New Mexico, to use Iraqi currency to purchase a vehicle that they could modify to run on a new “general combustion engine,” engineered not too dissimilarly from a bomb. They purchased a car in good faith and had currency left over. Then, they got into the car they thought they had purchased, and the key started it, but it was the wrong car! When they were confronted at the gas station, they fled so that competing teams would not become privy to the secret plans.

    So you see, it’s all an innocent mistake!

  10. says

    OK…here goes my theory:

    They weren’t terrorist! They were Iraqi TV producers making their way to Hollywood to pitch their ideas for a series of new reality/game shows;

    “Pass the Ticking Bomb” Although, secretely rigger to blow up in the hands of non-Muslim contestants, male fanatic Islamic Fundamentalist contestants occassionally cause a melee trying to ensure themselves a guaranteed trip to paradise where the reward of 72 virgins seems more appealing than what the game show offers as a prize.

    “Dancing with the Kuffirs” where at the end of the season, after a winner is declared, all the contestants are shot for breaking Sharia law by dancing, listening to music and wearing skimpy outfits and the gay judge is also shot for…well, being gay.

    and finally their third and most popular…
    “Survivor: Islam” Where contestants must survive on dates and camel urine, rape as many infidel women (oh yes, it’s a male only show btw)as they can in one week, cut off as many heads of infidels and stack them neatly in a pyramid (tallest one wins), not bathe for months (wait…that’s no challenge) and finally race to the finish line on a camel. The only immunity can be reached by eating a strip of bacon.

  11. says

    I would expect this from Janet Reno’s FBI.

    Anyway, this is a right wing conspiracy from islamophobes who are trying to defame islam.

    Oh, wait, I forgot the Jews and the majority of Jews in our country are Democrats which makes this scene a bit of a stretch. Ok, so here is another version – this was setup by the Joooos in the USA that we all know are racists and want to make it look like innocent muslims did this. Of course, we all know that muslims are oppressed in this country and innocent of all crimes that the joooos commit in their name.

    Or here is one: it was done by the Mexicans who just wants everyone to stop bothering them and their illegal status so they set this up so we will start bothering the muslims.

    I got another one: Hillary had her peeps set this up so if she visited Arizona she can say that she was in a dangerous situation and should be voted in as president because of it.

    ok, ok – I got another one: Obama had his peeps set this up knowing that we would blame the muslims so as to show us how prejudiced and racist Americans really are. And to deflect our attention off of him and his pastor.

    Actually, these are pretty lamo – I just can’t seem to get a real juicy story up this morning. I guess I haven’t had enough coffee yet.

  12. says

    Anyone remember the ‘baby on bord’ signs?

    I propose a sign for car windows;

    TWP on bord.
    Christian zealot on bord.

    or
    Bomb on bord*
    *for entertainment purposes only (You know, just fireworks)

    How did the FBI come to this conclusion so fast?

    I guess all those Muslim outreach(ROP indoctrination programs) programs have had their desired effect.

    Just what is the official FBI definition of “terrorism” ?
    “If the bomb doesn’t go off or the mission is aborted by a routine traffic stop kind of thing, it is Not terrorism?”

  13. says

    Special News Alert…..From CMANITSH(Council of Move Along Nothing Islamic TO See Here)……

    Authorites at the FBI(For Buttkissing the Islamists) reported today that a stolen vehicle was recovered in Los Lunas New Mexico. In the vehicle was an explosive device and Iraqi currency. As directed by CMANITSH agents the FBI immediately ruled out any Islamic connection to this event and labeled it a case of naked aggression against the people of Palestine and Muslims everywhere.

    FBI agent Joe Hussien Muhammed Schnitzelgruber said, The FBI has not been to the scene or inspected the vehicle or it’s contents but I can say without any reservation that there is nothing at all about this case that could be construed as having any connection to anything Islamic in nature. He then asked Imam Harvey Hussien Muhammed Hernandez Garcia to lead the news conference in a prayer. Imam Garcia called on all citizens of the future Islamic States of America to go back to their normal states of ignorance vis-a-vis the threat of Islamic extremisim.

    It is the opinion of CMANITSH that a cabal of Islamaphobes led by Mossad, The Danish Government, The cartoons of Mohammed, Robert Spencer and the leader of the world wide movement aginst Islam, Sir Hugh”The Crusader” Fitzgerald, have conspired to plant the explosive device and the Iraqi Currency in the vehicle to drum up anti-Muslim violence.

    End.

    Please direct all inquirys about this release to the FBI who will then consult with CMANITSH before commenting further.

  14. says

    These guys are the long lost brothers of the Goose Creek Two who got lost on the way to their rendezvous in Georgia. Just some more fun loving college kids out on a lark.

  15. says

    Abdul Mohammad and Washid al bin Rasheed were two Saudi exchange students who were at school at Arizona State when they met at the Collegiate Islamic Association. They talked tirelessly about the state of affairs in the middle east and the Muslim world in general and found that they shared a common opinion that the U.S. was the only hope for the future of the Muslim world.

    They decided that they would contact the FBI and ask how they could be of service to the U.S. The FBI hatched a plan for them to test the security at the Los Alamos National Laboratory as the lab is responsible for the security of the U.S.’ nuclear arsenal. The FBI then determined that a good way to test security was to have the guys steal a car and plant a bomb “like” device in the car along with Iraqi money and try to infiltrate the lab to test the security there.

    Unfortunately for the two patriotic young Saudis, they got lost when they realized they “should have made a left toin at Albukoykee” and ended up being caught by the real owner of the car.

    So in summary, this is really just a misunderstanding of two young Saudis who are proud of America.

  16. says

    Abdul Mohammad and Washid al bin Rasheed were two Saudi exchange students who were at school at Arizona State when they met at the Collegiate Islamic Association. They talked tirelessly about the state of affairs in the middle east and the Muslim world in general and found that they shared a common opinion that the U.S. was the only hope for the future of the Muslim world.

    They decided that they would contact the FBI and ask how they could be of service to the U.S. The FBI hatched a plan for them to test the security at the Los Alamos National Laboratory as the lab is responsible for the security of the U.S.’ nuclear arsenal. The FBI then determined that a good way to test security was to have the guys steal a car and plant a bomb “like” device in the car along with Iraqi money and try to infiltrate the lab to test the security there.

    Unfortunately for the two patriotic young Saudis, they got lost when they realized they “should have made a left toin at Albukoykee” and ended up being caught by the real owner of the car.

    So in summary, this is really just a misunderstanding of two young Saudis who are proud of America.

  17. says

    Ok, here’s my attempt:

    These poor Iraqi nationals were cleared by the government and allowed to relocate in the U.S. as refugees after Bush/Cheney/Halliburton/Blackwater destroyed their ancestral home.

    They were in New Mexico because the terrain reminded them of their beloved home that was decimated by the greedy, oil hungry infidels. They had Iraqi money with them as a reminder of the blissful life they used to lead under Saddam and his minions.

    As for the car, that was a cultural mistake. In Arab countries, it’s completely legal for travelers in need to ‘borrow’ a vehicle; it’s part of an historic Arabic tradition. The selfish, amoral infidels that populate the West know nothing about the generosity of the Arab world, and can learn from their morally advance culture.

    And the bomb? That was planted by Islamophobic police who are intent on ethnically cleansing the U.S. of all Muslims.

    It was all a horrible misunderstanding that will immediately be cleared by the local CAIR office.

  18. says

    Abdul Mohammad and Washid al bin Rasheed were two Saudi exchange students who were at school at Arizona State when they met at the Collegiate Islamic Association. They talked tirelessly about the state of affairs in the middle east and the Muslim world in general and found that they shared a common opinion that the U.S. was the only hope for the future of the Muslim world.

    They decided that they would contact the FBI and ask how they could be of service to the U.S. The FBI hatched a plan for them to test the security at the Los Alamos National Laboratory as the lab is responsible for the security of the U.S.’ nuclear arsenal. The FBI then determined that a good way to test security was to have the guys steal a car and plant a bomb “like” device in the car along with Iraqi money and try to infiltrate the lab to test the security there.

    Unfortunately for the two patriotic young Saudis, they got lost when they realized they “should have made a left toin at Albukoykee” and ended up being caught by the real owner of the car.

    So in summary, this is really just a misunderstanding of two young Saudis who are proud of America.

  19. says

    The explosive device probably had a sign taped to it that read “DO NOT USE FOR TERROR”. As for the money, the feds were smart enough to know that most businesses (Walmart, 7-11, Home Depot, etc…) don’t take Iraqi money, so it’s not really money anyway…

    Move along, nothing to see here!

  20. says

    Dang it. I really wanted that book, but my idea for the contest is not nearly as brillant as some already posted. Ah, well. I’ll sit back and see who wins.

  21. says

    i don’t know about anyone else, but i don’t leave the keys in my car at the best of times, but if I had ‘valuables’ like that in the car I’d think of locking it.

    Where did the guys go. Did they steals the guys motor cycle in turn?

    And finally, you often hear of people stealing cars with toddlers still strapped in the rear seat. Maybe the party goods were already in the car.

  22. says

    …continued from my theory

    so…the bomb was not a bomb, but a prop for one of the shows

    and the Iraqi loot was the cash prize for the winners of the shows!

    😉 humpf

  23. says

    The car’s owner pulled the keys out of the ignition of his stolen car

    Since when does stealing a car make you the owner? The driver, maybe, but not the owner. If the owner had taken the keys, the car might not have been stolen.

  24. says

    No, here’s what really happened.

    It is no coincidence that this happened in the New Mexico desert. This has to do with a time warp and an alien abduction of a car and a bomb from Mohammad’s time period. After all, even though Muslims still think the earth is flat (‘cuz Mohammad said so,) we all know that they have created, invented and manufactured every useful product that mankind has ever enjoyed. This is just proof that Mohammad created cars first and that Henry T. Ford was a big fat plagiarist. Although we shouldn’t be too hard on Ford because the reason there has never been any evidence of the 1400 year old Mohammad-mobile is because he was hiding it in the same place as Saddam’s WMD. (Those guys are good hiders!!)

    Too bad the people in the car fled. If they had been caught the owner of the car would have discovered them to be Rod Taylor and, in the Hefty bag, Miss Yvette Mimieux, fresh from an encounter with the Orlocks.

    Oh-my-gosh, I need to stop this. The similarities to what we are going through is too creepy.

  25. says

    the stories are quietly fading into oblivion with no further explanations.
    posted by Dee Mack

    The story about the inept handling of the bomb-laden truck in the Capitol Building parking garage and the amount of time it took to get the warrant to search it is on the same page.
    PS, I love how Congress wants warrants in a hurry when Their safety is involved. Sorry,people of New Mexico you are just not important enough.
    I almost spit coffee on the keyboard when I first read it.
    It reminded me of how many of our lawmakers tucked their heads down and ran for cover on 9/11.

  26. says

    Here’s mine.

    A video found hidden in the vehicle contained the martyrdom videos of two arab men, apparently they were on their way to Juarez, Mexico to blow up a taco stand that was rumoured to be selling “pork” tacos.

  27. says

    hahahahha! You guys are GOOD!! Maybe some of you should apply for the Director of the FBI’s job, at least you have imagination, lol. How can the FBI say that it’s ruled out terrorism?? This is the standard mantra these days it seems.

    Maybe Mo and Ach were on their way to their cousins shop? Being new to the USA they are ignorant to the fact that their money doesn’t work here. They were bringing an IED to show their cousin that they CAN make them (he didn’t believe them because they still have all their fingers).

  28. says

    **THIS IS WHAT REALLY HAPPENED**

    They were not Iraqi Muslims, but actually Iraqi Christians. They were out on one of their ‘crusades’ against the ‘infidel muslims’ that Christians are so famous for. Their mission was to assassinate Barack Obama because they know he’s still really a muslim. The Iraqi cash was the payoff the crusaders were paid by the Clinton camp. Hillary changed US dollars into Iraqi currency while ducking sniper fire in Iraq.

    **CASE CLOSED**

  29. says

    Special News Alert…..From CMANITSH(Council of Move Along Nothing Islamic TO See Here)……

    Red Templar; Just TOO Too good!
    This could be a t-shirt with a double meaning (as in I’m not).

  30. says

    What INSULTS me is how they always say “No it is not terror related” BEFORE THEY HAVE EVEN BEGUN THE MOST RUDIMENTARY INVESTIGATION. Do they really think we are all this STUPID? Maybe most of us are, I don’t know.

  31. says

    The bomb was intended to “strike terror in the hearts” (Qur’an 8:60) but that is certainly not the same as terrorism, as you just recently had it explained to you.

  32. says

    I went to the closest New Mexican mosque, and spoke to three ex-Iraqis, Ahmad, Ali,and Muhammad, all reportedly (by other mosquetiers) solid citizens. Ahmad told me that he had first-hand knowledge that local Jews had been intimidating a couple of innocent Iraqi tourists. CAIR, a moderate Islamic civil rights organization, substantiated this account. Mohammad added that he understood that the Jews stole all the cash that the Iraqi tourists had, stole a vehicle, which somehow, mysteriously, had a bomb in it (reportedly, according to CAIR, planted by a right-wing extremist militia-type group).
    Why were the Iraqi tourists in Los Lunas?
    Ali said that they thought Los Lunas had something to do with the Kaaba.
    CAIR substantiated this report, so it must be true.
    The owner of the car was a motorcyclist. CAIR indicated that biking was consistent with right-wing-extremist behavior.
    Local police gave the $1,000 back to the mosque leaders, who promised to find the tourists. The local police also gave the bomb to the mosque leaders, who said they would attempt to find which guilty right-wing-extremist group was responsible for this atrocity.
    The Los Lunas police were extremely grateful.
    CAIR, satisfied with the outcome, has so far not filed a grievance against the Los Lunas police.

  33. says

    What I really think is funny is how these guys always, ALWAYS get caught. As my daughter would say, doot-da-doo! Come on you guys, if we are bested by a bunch of below-75-IQ jihadi wannabes, do we really deserve to keep hold of our country and our freedoms?

    Wait a minute…I forgot to take into account that our FBI guys may be of the below-60-IQ variety.

    Uh-oh.

  34. says

    Obviously the missing clue was the absence of a Bible or an old article on Koresh/Waco or the OKC bombing. Now, if either of those clues wwas present in the car, then it would have been the angry white, Christian extremist (male) and thus, terrorism.

  35. says

    My entry (outlandishly pure fiction) –

    Prints lifted from the vehicle were matched to a relative of Hesham H. Islam, special assistant to Deputy Defense Secretary Gordon England.

    Islam vouched personally for the integrity of the relative, likely a hero in a circumstance filled with details, undiscovered as of yet.

  36. says

    Don’t jump to conclusions so fast.

    Maybe they were impersonating Mexicans in order to get the jobs Americans won’t do. As for the bomb, we all know that was more than likely planted by “THEM.”

  37. says

    Robert ,
    Here is what really happened….

    …..FBI agents say that they have ruled out terrorism……
    The car was reported stolen last week. After the theft, the car’s owner was fueling his motorcycle when he spotted his stolen car….
    When police arrived, they found the explosive device and less than $1,000 worth of Iraqi cash….

    Well the week befor 3 MIT students wanted to go to Cancun for spring break…..but did not have the air fare so they stole the car…but failed to take out their entry for the science fair.(said explosive device)…and the money well……it was from Bob in the Fob a cousin that was stationed some where in Irag…that knew that his cousin was a closet member of WINS-world internet numismatic Society….. so there you have it spring breakers gone wild …..again……..

  38. says

    “We don’t know what their intentions were,” said Nuanes. “We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.”…

    Take a second to figure out their “intentions”, Nuanes, I’ll be back from the store with more ammo.

    I wonder how long before the ACLU and Councel on American Islamic Infiltration Research/Development will be on this one saying they were exchange students with a science project?
    Sunni or Shi’ite?

  39. says

    Well these guys were obviously landscape gardeners working on a new residence for the Iraqi Ambassador. The bomb was just an industry standard method of excavating a new lily pond. And they were taking the money to the exchange so they could get some dollars to pay for his goldfish and water lillies.

    C’mon folks, who hasn’t done that at some time or other.

  40. says

    FBI rules out terrorism…well in the US it is a free capitalist country. So the most logical explanation would be that these guys were carrying goods for trade. Currency and a bomb! Honestly! Wake up!!!!!

  41. says

    Red Templar, let’s start such a council. We could issue idiotic statements and press releases.
    They could be written in a Mad format.

    That is until some alert blogger found us out.

    Andy and myself would like to be the charter members
    of CMANITSH.

    I look forward to receipt of my ceremonial robes.

    Cordially;
    Aunt Bea and family

  42. says

    At first glance, the FBI thought it might be terrorism related, but after consulting with Ibrahim Hooper, aka The Hoop, (a valued expert consultant on such things as bombs and islamaphobia) they determined that terrorism could be ruled out. With “The Hoops” help, they decided they don’t know what it is, but they know it’s not terrorism and has nothing to do with muslims.

  43. says

    Both the bomb and currency were the car owner’s property. The owner was scheduled to teach a class in the Pacific Northwest entitled Terrorist Techniques for Clearing Logjams. A model for efficiency in the age of environmentalism.. The owner requested Iraqi currency for payment because the U.S. dollar has been so devalued lately. The people who fled had the misfortune of stealing this car for a joy ride while not knowing about its contents.

  44. says

    FGI agents today, only identified as Bert and Ernie, after helping to return a stolen car with a bomb and Iraqi currency aboard to its rightful owner, have been reassigned to another FBI field office due to a remark made by Bert to Ernie, after finding the bomb and money. It is reported that the conversation went something like this…
    \
    Bert: Hey, Ernie, lookit this.

    Ernie: What is it, Bert?

    Bert: Could be fireworks…

    Ernie: Naa, looks like a bomb to me…

    Bert: Can’t be, the driver and passenger are from the “Religion of Peace”…

    Ernie: You mean….

    Bert: Yep, they’re Mennonites by gum…

    Ernie: GET THE PEPPER SPRAY!!!

    A FBI spokeswoman said that this type of profiling will not be tolerated by the FBI and that both agents were being sent to “Sensitivity Training” so as to reform their thinking to enable them to treat ALL religions equally. After that they will be relocated to the office in Truth or Consequences, NM as this seems an appropriate location for them.
    The car was returned to its owner who asked if he could keep the money. The FBI agreed, saying that the Iraqi currency has no value except as a curiosity.

    “Kuffirs of the world, Unite!”
    “Islam, abusing women and children since 622AD”

  45. says

    You guys are right..it probably was all a misunderstanding.

    And Im sure those snipers in Virginia on I-64 last night just mistook the interstate for a late night outdoor range. Hell, they weren’t sniping. They were varmit huntin!

    And airlines taking large numbers of their planes out for “routine inspections” and leaving hoardes of passangers stranded with no warning is just “routine”.

    😉 yeah…that’s the ticket

    WTF, over?

  46. says

    Another attempt to deliver pizza to troops at Fort Dix, New Jersey./Just hate it when that Tom-Tom GPS thingy isn’t working!

  47. says

    My entry:

    This is a sad case of cultural misunderstanding. In Iraq, it is a sign of hospitality to lend ones car to a stranger. The people who took the car were merely assuming the owner felt the same way. They are very sorry (but dissappointed) that he does not share this cultural value. They recommend sensativity training for all Americans starting in 1st grade.

    The bomb, as anyone with knowledge of their culture would know, is for a wedding celebration.

    They had converted their dollars into Iraqi currency because of the fall of the American dollar and were hoping to sneak into Mexico due to the Islamophobia they have been experiencing and fear of the economic collapse that they have been assured is coming by the Clinton and Obama campaigns.

  48. says

    Once upon a time there was a guy named Bob.

    Bob was a racist, a bigot, and an Islamophobe. He actually was a member of an anti-Muslim hate group called, “Internal Struggle Watch”.

    He spent most of his time trying to get his government to legalize discrimination against members of one of the world’s great religions. But, the government kept ignoring him, and one day Bob had enough, and he decided that he would take matters into his own hands.

    Bob decided that he would build a bomb, then go to a Muslim country, and detonate it, so that he could kill as many Muslims as he could.

    So he built a bomb. I don’t know where he learned how to build bombs; maybe he just googled it.

    Then he had to decide what Muslim country he would go to. This was not an easy decision, but eventually he chose the country of Iraq.

    But Bob didn’t just go to Iraq willy-nilly; he planned ahead. He knew that he would need a place to stay when he got there. He knew that he would have to eat while he was there. These things aren’t free, they cost money. And he also knew that Iraqi businesses would probably not accept U.S. currency. So he went to the local currency exchange, and converted just under a thousand U.S. dollars to Iraqi money.

    Then, he gassed up his car, grabbed his Iraqi money and his bomb, and set out for Iraq.

    Unfortunately, Bob had only a vague idea where Iraq is, and he soon got lost and wound up in New Mexico.

    Bob was already feeling angry and frustrated by the fact that he could not find Iraq, so when he saw a mosque, right there in New Mexico, he just went crazy.

    He stopped the car, got out and started shouting curses at the peaceful, community-loving, patriotic Americans who were worshipping God in the mosque.

    One of the faithful inside heard Bob shouting, and came outside to talk to him.

    “Sir, why are you saying these terrible things? Islam is a religion of peace.”

    “No! You’re lying! Every day I read in the news about more violence committed in the name of your evil religion!”

    “But Sir, the overwhelming majority of Muslims are law-abiding citizens, and would never commit an illegal or violent act. Only a tiny minority of extremists resort to violence, and these people misunderstand our peaceful religion. Besides, don’t believe everything you read in the papers, all the major news organizations are secretly controlled by the Zionists.”

    Suddenly, Bob realized the truth: Islam really is a religion of peace. All those people killed or injured in the almost 11,000 terrorist attacks since 9/11/01 had it coming, because they rejected God’s holy prophet. Bob decided then and there to become a Muslim.

    Just then a police officer came up and said, “Do you know anything about this car? The registration says it belongs to a guy named Bob.”

    The new convert to the religion of peace replied, “No, I’ve never seen it before. My name’s not Bob. You can call me ‘Muhammed Al-Shookup’. I am a peaceful, community-loving, patriotic American Muslim.”

    To which the officer replied, “All Muslims are peaceful, community-loving, patriotic Americans. I know this because I have attended special training classes on the subject. Thank you for your help, and please call us if any hateful, racist, bigoted Islamophobes start trying to discriminate against you.”

    “Thank you officer, I’ll do that.”

    The police are still investigating what that car was doing there.

  49. says

    It’s clear that the explosive device was just a school project, an engineering study for extra credit.

    As far as the Iraqi currency is concerned, it was meant to be sent to his relatives in Iraq. He just didn’t want them to have to bother with exchanging dollars for dinars.

    Terrorism? Give me a break! Leave this family-centered, bright young man alone.

  50. says

    These “naive young men” were obviously students here at one of our institutions of higher learning.
    The explosives are for their project for their engineering class, I think they were just “fireworks” weren’t they?
    The Iraqi money is for incidentals at the student center. They just haven’t had time to exchange the bills for dollars.
    Well, problem solved. Now all you Islamophobes can stop your worrying.
    Timothy McVeigh, abortion clinic bombings, Crusaders….

  51. says

    Spencer, stop being such a bigot!

    It’s obvious that these righteous men were merely trying to return this vehicle to its rightful owner, as sharia clearly demands.

    How sad that their traditional Arab gift of Iraqi dinars and explosive device was totally unappreciated by this ignorant American…

  52. says

    I don’t have an entry for the contest, but I do offer an explanation of why Coughlin was let go & why our law enforcement offcials, from the top to the bottom, refuse to call a spade a spade. You see, our Great Decider, the self-styled CiC — i.e., bush — has for years declared that we’re fighting them over there (iraq & afghanistan) so we don’t have to fight them over here. Well, if they’re already here, plotting & trying to execute, that kinda blows your justification for these foreign wars right outta the water, doesn’t it georgie, boy? The narrative from the government won’t change until a city goes up. Then, it will be my fervent, but admittedly ultimately forlorn, hope that our leaders, starting w/ bush, will be put on trial for dereliction of duty

  53. says

    OHHH! WAIT! You guys! My co-worker figured it out!

    It’s a misprint (kinda like Hillary’s mis-speak)…

    What FBI meant to say was

    “Its not TOURISM related”

  54. says

    It wasn’t an explosive device at all, you see. It was an attempt to use the flat surfaces of Arizona to try out their new super-improved time machine using state of the art movie theater technology. They simply attach this device to their car motor, careen towards the sand reaching 88 miles per hour, and flip the switch! Thus sending them back to ancient America to convert the Native Americans to Islam. These poor men were only trying to stop Islamophobia before it has a chance to spread!

    Popcorn?

  55. says

    According to the NYT’s, these were two happless Iraqis who were touring in the U.S. in an effort to escape the violence and mayhem that has been wrought upon their formally beaucolic country by the evil, imperialist Bush-Hitler/Chaney-Haliburton neo-con minions. As they were exiting the rental car establishment they inadvertantly became mixed up because of the language barriers (our cultural insensitivities failed to have the signs in Arabic) and as a result, took the wrong vehicle. When they realized their mistake, they stopped off at a nearby gas station and asked a man wearing a black hat and with a large nose named Pedro something-stein for directions back to the airport. He seemed friendly and after realizing that they were Iraqis offered them some tea and sweets and gave them a small wrapped gift to take home along with the directions.

  56. says

    I have it. This incident does not fit the FBI definition of terrorism.

    “The unlawful use of force or violence against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a Government, the civilian population, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives.”

    There is NO attempt to further political or social objectives.
    Move along…

  57. says

    Well, I’m pretty certain that they are avid fishermen and must have heard about the spectacular trout fishing in America They must have forgotten their Amex cards at home and surprisingly found that Iraqi money is worthless in America and so were forced to steal the car. The explosives? Well we all know that explosives are so common in Muslim countries because of the many innovative uses that the Islamic culture has found for them. Roasting and other forms of cooking, for instance. And explosives and also commonly used in “sport” fishing in the Islamic world. They were simply on their way to Colorado for a bit of fishing. Lighten up y’all. The FBI is on top of it and knows what they’re doing. I’m sure that they’ve passed this on to the “locals” as a simple fish and game matter. I think they found evidence of “out of date” fishing licenses.

  58. says

    This is in keeping with the FBI’s MO since 9/11. There is a great deal of emphasis placed on claiming there have been “no terrorist attacks since 9/11.” The FBI has said mysterious refinery explosions weren’t terrorism before showing up at the scene, when the fires still precluded investigation, in addition to saying Sudden Jihad Syndrome sufferers who openly proclaim themselves terrorists are not terrorists.

    The rot starts at the top and permeates every layer and department on the way down, including the government, media, and education. Ikhwan and its front groups feature prominently.

  59. says

    Contest Entry [accounting for all the facts in the story]:

    Said FBI SAC Khalil al-Sa’ad:

    Nothing to worry about here, folks. It was all preparation for an elaborate April Fools’ joke by a local prankster, Toby ‘Till Eulenspiegel” Jaramillo [aka Tariq Jamal] to set up the victim for arrest on charges of foreign currency speculation, filing a false police report, and possession of illegal fireworks. Yeah, that’s the story.

    And, by the way, my superiors and I would like to thank the fine, upstanding citizens who assisted us in our investigation of this incident, especially, the staff of New Mexico’s CAIR chapter, and leaders of Al-Quds Mosque in Albuquerque.

  60. says

    UPDATE:

    An FBI spokesman released the following statement just minutes ago:

    The two men apprehended earlier were movie director Brian De Palma’s technical advisers from his latest film and the bomb they were transporting was the original print of Redacted. The $1,000 in Iraqi currency were the gross box office receipts from the movie, which had been converted from USD in order to placate investors concerns that the film didn’t make money. The two men were on the way to the desert to bury the film in an unmarked grave but were apprehended before they could finish the job. We consider the case closed.

  61. says

    What makes everyone here think the FBI doesn’t link this to terrorism?Just because that’s what they told the press?

    Maybe they dont want thier email and switchboard plugged up with ranting muslims.

    Maybe the FBI is a lot smarter than people think.I’ve got a feeling that our enimies dont underestimate the FBI as much as the average American.

    JLP

  62. says

    Well, the stolen car is the easy part. It really wasn’t stolen – it was a case of mistaken identity. One low-rider looks pretty much like every other low-rider.

    It is clear to me, a Southwesterner, that this was nothing more than a Mexican wedding gone awry. The drinking started several days before the Priest arrived, and everyone was pretty-well ‘blowed away’ – if you will pardon the expression – when they got in the wrong car. Some how (Dios mio!), they missed the border on the way to the church and found themselves in Albuquerque before they realized their mistake. The border is not guarded; so it’s easy to miss.

    To the untrained observor, a few cases of dynamite may look like a bomb, but those with HSA credentials know that the dynamite is obviously just the left-overs from last week’s fishing trip to the Rio Grande.

    Oh. Iraqi money? Everybody’s got some. Since it’s virtually worthless, the illegals discard it to lighten their load while fleeing la migra (if you can find a ‘la migra’.)

    The FBI? What’s their excuse? Well, after eight years, the stupidity originating in the Oval Office has finally reached street-level.

  63. says

    These poor lambs were obviously Iraqi refugees from Cheney BushHitlerburton’s wicked enterprise. Suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and cruelly denied the care to which a health-care system such as that proposed by Barry Hussein would entitle them, they had pooled their meager financial resources and set off in search of something wherewith to self-medicate. The explosives were in case they should fail and, desperate for relief from their anguish, want to end it all. Now, with even that solace denied them, they’ll wander the desert until dehydration claims them and their piteous bones bleach in the relentless sun of a racist nation.

    “God DAMN America!”

  64. says

    JLP
    I don’t currently have on my list of ‘go to people’ any FBI agents.
    But I want you to know that I have the greatest respect for their hard work and dedication.
    It is the standard operating procedure that is being ridiculed, not the agents.

  65. says

    Saying terrorism has taken place in the USA is a direct slap in the face on our President- the Decider.

    Don’t you know there has been no been NO terrorist attacks in the USA since 9/11? That is the Official Word. Case closed.

    Would your own government lie to you?

  66. says

    What makes everyone here think the FBI doesn’t link this to terrorism?Just because that’s what they told the press?

    ***OK…I’ll give you this one. One would hope that this is the case also for panic control reasons

    Maybe the FBI is a lot smarter than people think.

    ***Ohhh…don’t say that to the ones that actually work with the FBI – lmao

    You know what they’re called at the office?
    Famous
    But
    Incompitent

    Owkay…seriously, they’re not ALL incompetent.

  67. says

    I think they were on their way to meet with the Rev. Wright and Barack Obama, I heard they are his new foreign policy advisers, but they got lost when they mistook Mecca California for Mecca Saudi Arabia and read the map upside down. The explosive device, is captured advanced American technology to prove to the world the Rev. Wright is correct about the “ethnic bomb”. The money was an advance payment for smuggling the “ethnic bomb” into the country, paid in Iraqi currency so I could not be traced back to Barack.

  68. says

    Furthermore, I’ll have you know that many of my war-refugee clients prefer to pay in Iraqi dinars, and, given the favorable exchange rate, with the US dollar depreciating in value relative to foreign currencies, that is agreeable.

  69. says

    They were probably starting a Spanish teaching school for Mexicans who come from Afghanistan via India and Mexico, so that they won’t get stopped at an Indian airport due to their inadequate understanding of Spanish. They needed the stolen car to get to the school, and the explosives… well, aren’t explosives essential for teaching Spanish – explode the thing, and the students, out of fright, will learn. After all, with the quality of schools being what they are in Afghanistan, it’s shocking that even Mexicans there don’t get to speak fluent Spanish. (Since there are at least 12m Mexicans in the US, there would be at least as many in Afghanistan, which as we all know is a province of the US). So here come 2 Iraqis who were going to help these Afghan based Mexicans train for this so that they wouldn’t get caught at an airport.

    What’s that you say? Shouldn’t these Iraqis then be in Afghanistan instead of here for that to happen? Look, this is the will of Allah! Bah! – Next you’ll be saying that if Palestinians want their own homeland, they have to allow the Jews to have one in Israel.

  70. says

    “We don’t know what their intentions were,” said Nuanes. “We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.”…

    How can they rule out terrorism with a statement like this?

    If we say it is related to terrorism, we’ll have the radical terrorist supporting organization CAIR whining and crying.

  71. says

    THose damn teenagers..
    It was a case of one drunken night by a group of rambuncious kids. You after a long game of beer pong a group of kids thougt it would be cool to break into a couple of houses nearby. THe first house they hit up ended up being the house of a soldier who was away on his third tour of duty. They came across the the iraqi cash and thought, cool man we got some forieng dough, lets see if we can buy some stuff with it.
    Then going down the street to the nearest store, which happened to be a fireworks store, ended up being closed. With the drunk courage they had already imbued themselves with they preceeded to get inside useing methods allready applied earlier. Upon their entery they saw the mother of all fireworks, El Grande Spectacular. Which they said to themselves, hey we got to get this thing.
    But low and behold the police sirens were heard coming down the street, “crap we forgot about the alarm” one guy cried out. “Alarm, what alarm?” was the response. Heading out the back and across the street the boys ran. Coming to a conner store they saw a running empty car. “hey jump in and we can take off without getting caught.” the drunker kid said. After lifting the vehicle they drove off to the desert to sleep off the drunkeness.
    THe next morning while driving into town a guy on a bike rode up behind them like he knew them. “Dude lets dump the car and head off into the cuts to get away” exclaimed one teenager, to which the other asked what about the cash and the firework, “just leave the money, its worthless and the bomb is too big to run with, lets go”

    I hope this was not too long and was at least somewhat entertaining for you’all

  72. says

    I think before we talk about this specific incident we must look at the over all picture of hate against the Muslims in this country. We need to get beyond all this islamaphobia and have a real discussion on race relations in this country.

    Only then can we understand the anger these Muslims RIGHTFULLY have against America. I can no more denounce these Muslims than I could the whole Muslim population.

  73. says

    This article and the TV news reporter leave so many unanswered questions that it almost leaves one speechless short of the FBI wanting play the whole thing down which is a tactic that law inforcement does employ at times if they feel somehow it is warranted.

    Ques:

    Was this vehicle taken in to be carefully analyzed, fingerprinted,Etc.?

    Is the local dirt bag car thief being questioned by the FBI since he is in jail?

    Is the weapon being taken to a FBI lab for analysis.

    Is there any description of the suspects who ran from the vehicle, IE: clothing ,facial hair ,language exchanged, direction of travel,items they were carrying, Etc. when the apparent victim went to pull his keys?

    Where the suspect(s) still in the vehicle when he approached it?

    The reporting up to this point is some of worst I have seen in a long time when it comes to something as potentially serious as this. Or is it possible that the shallow reporting is even flawed in itself?

    The Washington Times should send someone down to Los Lumas like Bill Gertz to do some real investigative reporting instead of this 6th grade report–

    I take that back; actually 6th graders make better witnesses than many adults do.

  74. says

    There are some fantastic tales above, but this one is the most outlandish yet.

    The men in the car are actually undercover U.S. agents working at the direct control of the President, George Bush. All those “Islam is the Religion of Peace” statements (and multi-billion dollar payouts to the “Palestinians”) were just cover statements to lull the jihadis into a false sense of security. Actually, Bush is a brilliant genius who is well-versed in Islamic doctrine and Islamic history, and who has had a covert program all along for directly confronting the jihad.

    In this particular case, these agents, who are all radical Christians and Jews, ready to sacrifice themselves in order to go to their respective heaven, were building a car-bomb that was to be used in an attack on Osama Bin Laden. After the car was prepared, it was to be driven to the Groom Lake facility (popularly known as “Area 51″, actually it is the supersecret center of the anti-jihad) in Nevada, where it was to be loaded onto a C-130 Hercules and flown to Waziristan province in Pakistan. It would be parked near a falafel stand that OBL is known to frequent. The Iraqi money would have been left in open view on the seat. The agents would have kidnapped the falafel stand owner, and one of them would have worn a latex mask to impersonate him. When OBL appeared for his daily lunch, the undercover falafel agent would have informed him that they were now only accepting Iraqi currency. OBL, remembering the cash on the front seat, would have been inexorably drawn to open the car door, triggering the bomb.

    It almost worked.

  75. says

    It’s just a matter of time before a bomb explodes in a mall, or other public place, killing thousands of Americans, before anyone admits to anything.

    It’s just a matter of time.

  76. says

    Hmm, let’s see. Explosives and Iraqi currency found in a stolen car, in a state that contains not one, but 2 nuclear laboratories (Sandia, Los Alamos), 1 enormous weapons test range (White Sands Missile Range), and at least 3 Air Force bases (Kirtland, Holloman, Cannon).

    Nope, no connection to terrorism here, and certainly no danger to national defense… That’s no surprise coming from the FBI (Fellators of Bassackwards Islamofascists).

  77. says

    The car, the Iraqi cash and bomb are the sole remaining evidence of bold and imaginative scheme, conceived by the brilliant, but demented, head of Advanced Islamic Research (AIR), Mohammed Mohominid, to cover a far more devious and sinister plan.

    Inspired by a secret screening of the banned American film Three Amigos, and tormented by the specter of and endless barrage of Mohammed cartoons, Mo Mo-hominid, in a flash of perspiration, realized the only possible solution to the Infidel Problem lie in Islamic Science. Only in Islamic Science could Mohominid find the elusive key to human salvation and endless sex with 72 virgins.

    With the full political backing of Iranian strong man Armandhandjob, the AIR head Mo-hominid, set about developing techniques for manipulating the fundamentalists’ fundamental structure of the universe itself. Based obliquely on one of the most successful theories of 20th century Western science, but coaxed mainly from his interpretation of the Koran, Mohominid painstakingly developed his new theory, destined to supplant Western understanding of the universe on every level, from the subatomic, to the full expanse and majesty of the universe, and named it: Mohammed Mechanics.

    Computer simulations of Mohominid’s M&M theory indicated that two virtuous believers, held in close proximity and directly facing each other, would release vast stores of fundamentalist energy as they screamed Allah Akbar while striking the other’s head.

    Beaming at the possibility of striking a fatal blow to the heart of infidel military-industrial infrastructure, Armmandhandjob, adopted the plan. With Mohominid at his side, Armmandhandjob described the plan to end the dominance of the Great Satan to the Supreme Leader, Iowatoelah Hokakamaimee.

    It took the wise Iowatoelah only an instant to see the virtue of the plan, and moments later, in triumphal expectation, the three of them were toasting the mission with Hokakamaimee’s finest vintage goat urine.

    And so the plan was executed; two highly disciplined and deadly covert agents were sent into the heart of the Great Satan’s New Mexico desert. Their mission: destroy the infidel’s research facilities in an operation that was codenamed The Two Mohammeds. Feigning bumbling incompetence in map reading, they maneuvered their stolen vehicle to a location near the geographical center of two enormous weapons research facilities in the New Mexico desert.

    When the moment of their glorious martyrdom came, screaming Allah Akbar with all the breath and belief they could muster, the two Mohammeds struck each other over the head and disappeared silently in a flash.

    Simultaneously, and mysteriously, a few unrelated items materialized in the seats the two Mohammeds had previously occupied. These items were only slightly misreported by American law enforcement and the complicit, infidel press. In reality the items recovered were a small amount of Iraqi currency, a strange and primitive spherical bomb fashioned into what appeared to be a black turban, and a half consumed pint of goat piss.

  78. says

    Simple really…

    They bought some dinars for investment (probably from Atlas’s site because she’s still advertising them, and she’s nice to look at) and they keep them in their stolen car.

    Whazzat? Oh, the bomb… pffft… this is the Southwest, everyone has bombs here in McVeigh country.

  79. says

    The suspects, obviously displaced by the imperial Satan’s presence in their homeland compelled them to traverse the well-protected southern US border in search of the American dream.

    Their goal is to work hard, and do the jobs that Americans won’t do, namely construction demolition, to which it appears they have previous experience in.

  80. says

    Robert,

    The city of Los Lunas was named after one of the moon gods, Lunas, and is key in solving this FBI mystery.

    Lunas is derived from the word ‘moon’, and the underground criminal sector knows that this particular city in New Mexico is an ideal location for bandits, thieves and terrorists to congregate so that they can slip by undetected due to the moons lunar cycle and it’s hynotic influence over the FBI and local police.

    Do your homework – because you will quickly learn that Los Lunas has “zero” crime due to this phenomenon, especially during full and nearly full moon cycles, which is when these bad boys KNOW to do their dirty work.

    I hesitated in bringing this information to the worlds stage, but there you have it; and may God help the FBI and law enforcement in catching these characters, because they are competing against the moon god, Lunas. May God help us all.

  81. says

    Since we can fund those who have killed Americans and fire thousands of rockets at Sderot (along with several other items I could mention) with hundreds of millions of dollars, how can we consider this terrorism?

  82. says

    These Guys are a new breed of environmentalists gravely concerned with Global Warming. Knowing the second most abundant energy source in Iraq was explosives, they thought of another way of using them for transportation. Their problem was finding a Car that they could conduct their experiments on. Seeing that all the vehicles were taken for more “traditional” uses in their own Country, they had no other choice but to come here.Where the availability of Cars is most abundant.

    After exhausting all the other Currency they had to get here, they were left with only Iraqi Currency. After being chased out of any number of seedy used car kings in the area for trying to pass off Monopoly money for the down payment, they decided to just borrow one.

    After cruising around for a while trying to find parts to convert the car to use Explosives instead of Gas, they found the tank a little low. Unable to make it back to some secluded desert area to actually conduct their test, they had no choice but to go back to a place they felt comfortable in to get it.(They were really stressed out about the additional Carbon Signature this would cause).

    Unfortunately, they were still stuck trying to pay for the fill up with Monopoly money. While trying to dupe some passersby to make an exchange for American funny money, lo and behold, the original owner comes by.

    During the FBI investigation the plans for the conversion were discovered. After close examination, the FBI realized these Environmentalists were really on to something.

    Well, the Plans are secured in FBI HQ. knowing an attack on Big Oil has been thwarted. While 2 of the smartest people in the whole wide World are wandering the Deserts of the Southwest suffering heat stroke and dehydration wondering if they will survive long enough to get the Patent rights for their idea.

  83. says

    Here is my theory:

    It’s a Democratic and Republican party joint cover-up. On the Democratic side there is Bill Richardson, who is Governor of New Mexico. Gov. Richardson supports Barrack Obama, who in turn has an open border mentality. Since these terrorists probably came into the country across the border illegally, this would discredit Gov. Richardson. That would spiral into more people being more distrustful of Sen. Obama, and in effectively ruin Obama’s chance to be President.

    On the Republican side, John McCain is likely the GOP candidate. He supports amnesty for immigrants, and since these terrorists probably came into the country illegally the Republican party would have no other choice than to choose Alan Keyes as their candidate.

    See! It all makes sense!

    The funny thing is that the FBI agent states “We don’t know what their intentions were. We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.” Then how can you rule out terrorism?

  84. says

    Explanation for determination that stolen car with bomb is not terrorism related:

    The person who stole the car was found to be a Muslim.

    P.S. Sorry if this has already been suggested 20 times. I didn’t have time to read through the earlier comments.

  85. says

    No doubt this was a bungled test to see if the volumetric equivalent of $1000 in Iraqi cash (even with the plunging dollar this must be a huge quantity of paper…!) is sufficient to neutralize the explosive force generated by an IED. If so, this would prove to be a very cost effective way of fighting the terrorists — use Iraqi cash to blunt their attacks. Stuff cars, houses, nursery schools, pet markets, pizza shops and restaurants, basically all the places where terror targets congregate, with sufficient piles of cash, and presto!, one problem solved.

  86. says

    These two innocent Iraqis, with only Iraqi cash, crossed the border from Mexico illegally to make a new life for themselves in persuit of the American dream. Everyone knows that New Mexico is a world center for UFO reconnaissance missons and alien abductions. Soon after they crossed the border, they became privy to an alien plot to take over the Earth. They collected parts from the garbage and made a bomb. However, they needed a vehicle to head off the aliens in a location in the desert in the vacinity of Los Lunas, NM. They stole this vehicle for the purpose of getting to the alien landing location and blowing them up before they could wreak their havoc. They were planning to return the vehicle, but unfortunately, the owner discovered them and took his car back. They ran off into the desert, and are likely to have been captured by the aliens, who became aware of their plans. We are in grave danger now.

  87. says

    Good God.

    Fitna makes its point VERY well. It needs to be shown in a continuous loop on the Time Square giant screen. And on the 6 O’clock news nation wide.

    Humpf. As if I wasn’t depressed enough. Why do I feel like a Roman in 475 AD?

  88. says

    It’s OK, folks, there’s nothing at all to worry about. The FBI have just had a telephone call from the people who stole the car. They told the agents that their names were Mo & Joe and that that was the truth. So there, the incident definitely isn’t terrorist related and so, gee whiz, we can all sleep safe in our beds. Hallelujah.

  89. says

    Geert goes to court tomorrow and has posted a request for financial assistance . . .

    To our international friends:

    Please support our struggle. The battle for the survival of freedom is not something we can do all by ourselves. Party for Freedom (PVV) is the only political party in Dutch Parliament that refuses government subsidy. Therefore, we are dependent on your support. We need your help urgently, as costs are mounting. Freedom isn’t free.
    You can use the Paypal application under “DONEER” of you can make a contribution to:

    Stichting Vrienden van de PVV (Foundation Friends of PVV), in The Hague, the Netherlands.
    Bank account 67.04.72.344
    IBAN: NL98 INGB 0670 4723 44 – BIC: INGBNL2A

    It’s hard to say how much money he needs for the distribution for his film. It all depends on how many people are going to view it and how the Film will be distributed. But even if it’s possible to release Fitna with the help of video providers like Youtube or Liveleak, it will still cost quite some money only to have a website announcing it. After the release many millions will directly want to visit the website and thus the website needs expensive dedicated and high-performance hardware to serve those many millions of people. This will not come cheap.

  90. says

    Trust the Islamophobes at Jihadwatch to spin this harmless story into a plot to indulge in un-Islamic activities. Shame on you, Robert Spencer!

    The truth behind this story is currently doing the rounds of the worldwide Iranian ex-pat community, and it is a most humorous tale of youthful misfortune. My Iranian contact Mahmoud A. – he insisted on secrecy if I retold the story – told me what had happened. Apparently last week two wealthy young Iranian men – exchange students from Tehran University studying nuclear engineering at UC Berkeley – took a road trip to Mexico. College boys, heh? They went there to purchase fireworks to celebrate the Persian New Year. While in godless Tijuana, Shaitan whispered to them, and as a result of his temptation they did what all tourists do – eyed up the local girls, gambled, and got very, very drunk. So drunk, in fact, that they were waylaid by a confidence trickster. This man – doubtless a djinni in human form – tricked them into exchanging their car, a nearly-new SUV, for his vehicle, which he described as a highly collectable vintage American classic: a Ford Pinto.

    In recognition of the fact that their car was slightly more valuable than his, he gave them a part-exchange: his car along with what he claimed was $20,000 worth of Mexican pesos, which they could exchange for dollars back in the US. Being drunk, they accepted. They said adios to their new amigo, who gave them a very cheery smile as he drove off. They then bedded down in their new valuable vintage car to sleep it off before driving back.

    The next morning they awoke to a sobering reality. They had exchanged their comfortable luxury vehicle for a rusting heap of junk, and their $20,000 worth of “pesos” were in fact Iraqi dinars worth less than a grand. They had been played like goats at a Syrian bachelor party. What is more, they had forgotten to transfer the box of fireworks from the trunk of their old car – all they had left was one cherry-bomb. Hungover, chastened and more learned in the ways of a wicked world, they began the long drive back to Berkeley in their newly purchased worthless car.

    On the way back, they pulled in for gas just south of Albuquerque. Suddenly a man ran at them, shouting, and grabbed the keys out of the ignition. Believing him to be a gang member trying to carjack them, they leapt out of the car and ran for their lives, leaving behind both the money and the lone firework. They later got the bus back to Berkeley. Not a very happy Persian New Year at all.

    And now they read that the FBI wants to question them because their car was in fact stolen, and that their cherry bomb is being described as an “explosive device”.

    As my chum Mahmoud remarked at the end of his story: “What a crazy place Amerik is!”

  91. says

    Yes OT,but Wilders utilizes a great effect with that open book almost storytelling approach. Coupled with verses, some literally out of the horses mouth, from sermons and current events one can see why so much opposition reigned. Heartbreaking about the 3 1/2 year old girl already going down the path,but we know they start ’em young. Western kids are thinking about toy trucks,dolls maybe animals or around age 3-8,the armies of islam have kids talking about topics like the Belfour Declaration.

  92. says

    LOL,, I love contests!!

    Put’s up her hand *waving wildly*,,

    I have the answer,, for this contest,,

    >>>>Jihad Watch Contest time! Bomb, Iraqi dough found in stolen car in New Mexico, Feds rule out terrorism

    >>>>

    It’s the JOOOSS,, it’s all the fault of Israel and the JOOOSSS!!! Islam says,, they are the WORST humans,, son’s of pigs and apes. Old Mad ‘Mo said so himself in the koran.

    So,, the superduper joos spies,, PLANTED all this evidence in that poor biker’s stolen car,, because the people who stole the car are poor muslims,, who are practicing the “religion of peace”,, don’t ya know???

    It’s all a infidel conspiracy, and somewhere the poor palestine people are still suffering, and mourning al dura,, because all the video coming out of that area is all TRUE!! There is no pallywood,, israel is lying to everybody!!!

    Just like that dead baby in Lebanon,, that poor kid died ALOT of times.

    So, it’s israel,, trying to get the west all pissed off at the poor muslim umma again,,

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    *HURLS*
    >>>>>>>>

    Dearest Robert,,

    You decide which book I win,, I love surprises!!!

    thank you for allowing me to enter the contest

    giggles,,

    )0(
    solsticewitch13
    dar al harb
    “don’t annoy the bikers”

  93. says

    Contest satire of the official response:

    “I do not see what all the trouble is about. First of all, they were carrying Iraqi cash – because it is worth more than the dollar! With your president that stole an election and his banker and oil buddies have driven the value of the American dollar into the ground! Remember Germany in the 1920s? Pretty soon you will have to take a trunkload of American dollars just to buy a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk. They are smart to be carrying Iraqi cash around!

    As for the alleged, and I remind you alleged explosive device, it was just fireworks for the Native American casino up the street. You know, the one right of I-25? While obviously gambling is haram, but these enterprising youngsters were doing what you are supposed to be doing in America- living the American dream, and climbing up the ladder of success. And if that meant selling their fireworks to a casino, so be it! It is not illegal to sell fireworks on a reservation, so the FBI, by confiscating their fireworks, is violating these youngsters’ civil rights as outlined by American law!

    The car was given to them by a friend. He’s what? A car thief? Oh my gracious. They had no idea it was stolen!

    Why did they run?

    Well, everyone in New Mexico knows that if the police show up, and you don’t look like an American, that you will deported out of the country without a fair hearing or a chance to prove that you are a legal immigrant or even a citizen of this fine land – and of course America is a fine land except that they let their citizens watch that blasphemous trash Fitna or display those racist and hateful cartoons that slander the Prophet. Yes, I believe that those should be banned. First amendment? First amendment doesn’t count if you intentionally inflame a race of people, see the Supreme Court about yelling “fire”. If “fire” doesn’t inflame somebody, I don’t know what will.

  94. says

    Actually there are two stories here; the truth and the cover story.

    What new candidate Shahids are told;

    With the current flood of candidate martyrs Allah is running low on black eyed virgins so future candidates have been warned that from now on if they want their full share they’ll have to provide their own transportation. For such a holy mission Shari’a law permits stealing transportation from an infidel.

    Allah also has had to impose a surtax on all new martyrs in order to offset the astronomical cost of those continuously replaced sheets on the refurbished conjugal beds. Given the reduced value of the infidel dollar only currency from a Muslim state will be acceptable and it must be paid up front on entry to paradise.

    The cover story:

    The vehicle appropriated in order to transport a new super secret fireworks display item to a manufacturer in time for mass fabrication for the Forth of July. The innocent young men caught up in this mess had forgotten to change their currency before leaving their job training site in Waziristan so they needed the vehicle in a hurry for reasons any patriotic American should understand.

  95. says

    Oh and this just in……it was NOT an IED, it was an IUD!!! The FBI apologizes for any mix up this may have caused.

    ;o)

  96. says

    Well either everyone is cheap about getting your books or ?????

    REPORT;
    FIRST CONTACT;
    Found two suspects on a deserted road after the local Border Watch carrier pidgined the intel to our office. Upon approaching the car we heard sounds of arguing. It sounded Mexican but we could not make out the dialect. The only word we could make out was “Trinity”.

    JESUS, some Jesus freaks! I thought to myself.

    When we tapped on the window of the drivers door they fell silent and turned to stare at us. The far one was stuffing something under the seat. After the window was rolled down, I asked them, “Howdy, did your car break down?” They turned and looked at one another then back at us. The passenger in the most broken Mexican I have ever heard said, “No, your quind peeaceful Sir’s. We were having a religious talk. Could you tell me/us, err, ahh, is trinity close from here??” Now I knew they were Jesus Freaks! You might want to go to the Mission at Pueblo of Acoma. They thanked me and drove off.

    Agent Smith

    PS They were wearing black suits, ties and dark sunglasses, could have been from MIB.

  97. says

    P.S. Robert,

    Additional information has just come in from my team of genealogical researchers revealing that Allah & Lunas may be first cousins…

    ….although there are conflicting reports that certain Islamic sects believe that these two moon gods are in fact, “Brothers”, and not first cousins at all.

    Regardless, now we have more proof that Allah is clearly showing favortism to the moon god, Lunas, who oversees the city of Los Lunas, and that he’s helping Islams cause due to their close family connection; thus allowing maximum Dhimmitude & Stupidity to infiltrate that region and surrounding areas. Some say as far as California and even towards New York – perhaps even beyond the North America Continent. Oh my.

  98. says

    The best way to enter the US via the southern border was to earn their way north. Having backpacked drugs across the border, these guys were happy to be paid off in “real money”! And as a bonus, the dealers gave them a “GPS” device to help them find their way. Thinking that it would only work in a car, they stole one, and were preparing to embark on a road trip to Denver. Now they’re looking for horses to ride.

  99. says

    So the Feds are “ruling out terrorism.”

    Who exactly do they suppose was behind the attacks on NYC and Washington DC on 9-11-2001? The Easter Bunny?

    and

    memo to V.I.N.C.E.N.T:

    The Muslim world exists in a more or less PERMANENT state of ‘inflammation’. Any kowtowing to Islam by non-Muslims does nothing to protect the non-Muslims from Islam’s programmatic brutality and warfare and may actually encourage these further because yielding to violent Islamic demands makes the non-Muslim societies under siege by Muslims appear weak and ripe for complete military conquest by jihad!

    Islam will continue to attack and massacre non-Muslim “unbelievers” for whatever reasons happen to further the jihad (global conquest) for al-lah at any particular moment; that is what the Kuran teaches Muslims. At least ten major civioizations have been wiped off the face of the earth by Islam over the centuries–with absolutely ZERO provocation on their part except that they were non-Muslim and had the misfortune of being unable to repel the invading Muslim jihad armies.

    Abridging America’s freedom of expression only further enables Islamic tyranny–don’t buy into it!!!

  100. says

    The men in question were headed to a Jihadist disco. If you stingy kuffars had not allowed these men to live in a state of poverty, they would be able to buy their own smoke and lighting machines.

    It’s a sad testament to the prevalence of Islamophobia when a few young men out to integrate into Western society by shimmying the night away have to resort to unconventional pyrotechnics to party.

  101. says

    Fitna is simply Islam being Islam.
    I don’t know what moslems can find offensive about it.
    Quotes from the Quran, beheading infidels, Friday sermons of hatred, what’s not to love?
    /

  102. says

    Actually, the explosive device was meant to cause a huge smoke cloud to block out the sun over the deserts of New Mexico in order to give the poor New Mexicans some respite from this terrible heat during the Winter caused by global warming. So, in reality these concerned Iraqis, out of love for the American people and concern over global warming, were actually attempting to take action after being inspired by Al Gore’s “An Incovenient Truth.”

  103. says

    Greetings Folks,

    Just watched Fitna, and it is a very powerful 15 minutes. Geert Wilders, did a awesome job on this one.

    Sent it out to all my tattooed, harley ridin’ biker friends, all over the planet. And of course my part of the infidel nation networks.

    They will be impressed too!!

    Geert Wilders, I buy you virtual rounds, afew JD’s,,,!!

    Lot’s of bacon too,

    cos,, we all love pig roasts in the summer!!!

    )0(
    solsticewitch13
    “don’t annoy the bikers”

  104. says

    FBI style guide:

    An explosives enthusiast can’t really expect to “terrorize” people that rarely ever take notice. So unless intended targets have an internationally funded advocacy organization, the intent must be for the simple joy of blowing shit up.

  105. says

    @Occupant

    Now that is connecting the DOTS back to the Pentagon! You know the FBI has been burned too many times when the Pentagon gets in the act.

    Nuff said.

  106. says

    It’s all blown totally out of proportion! There was nothing sinister about it. The gentlemen in the car were Blackwater employees, and had just returned from deployment to Iraq. As everyone who has deployed knows, Iraqi currency is for sale everywhere in Iraq, even on the military bases at the Haji-marts. They came home, trying to use their new-found skills of desert farming in New Mexico, since it has a similar climate to Iraq. They bought some fertilizer at the local farm supply store and came out to their car, which they had left the key in the ignition, just like they used to inside their secure compound in the green zone. but they accidentally got in the other guy’s car, which also had the keys in the ignition, and drove away. They then stopped to buy diesel for their farm equipment, but the can spilled all over the fertilizer. Then the car owner ran over yelling in Spanish, holding a lit cigarrete, so they ran, as they had flashbacks from Sadr City of a similar circumstance. It’s all just a big misunderstanding

  107. says

    I live up the road a piece from the nation’s largest auto auction. Until you have seen it for yourselves, you cannot imagine just how large this auto auction is. It is like a mini city, and the main thoroughfare, PA Route 72 going from north to south is nothing but used car dealerships for miles and miles and miles.
    Fridays are the busiest days, with car haulers clogging up the pike and through my berg all day from 4 am til Saturday.
    I had the chance to visit the main hive, and it is like a city within a city. And everywhere, Arabic is being spoken. I couldn’t believe the numbers of Arabs buying used cars. We don’t have a large Arab community, though one in Columbia is growing large enough for the library to stock Arabic children’s books.
    It wasn’t until I heard about cars being bought at auctions in the US and being shipped back to Iraq and used for IEDs, that I have to wonder every time I drive by the Manheim Auto Auction, just how many cars from here have been used to kill people in Iraq.

  108. says

    Well, clearly they where out prospecting for gold, in the old 49er tradition, (and we all know you cant find gold in them there hills with out blowing up a boulder or 2) when their mule came up lame. And not wanting to lose their claim on that there creek, they borrowed that fine auto and would have gladly returned it to its rightful owner right after they got back from the claims office, if not stopped by some gosh darn islamophobes. The money? Im pretty sure that was just winnings from one the many, fine, local Indian casinos.

    Free the Prospecting 2!

  109. says

    This is a serious post – I just heard that some snipers are in Virginia shooting at cars. I didn’t catch the freeway.

    The reason why I got alerted was that of some of the things that have already happened with muslims and doing this sort of thing a few years back – and other countries who have the same thing happen to them in the escalation of muslim on non-muslim violence in their countries.

    I know they will not tell us the complete truth (sort of like the LA basin’s fires that no one has spoken of since after al qaeda told muslims to set our lands on fire and to down power lines!), or with this incident and many others.

  110. says

    They took the car because they saw a bomb in it and were worried someone might get hurt. They were about to drive to the FBI and turn in both car and bomb, when the car´s owner pulled the keys from the ignition. True, the Iraqis had residues of explosives all over their clothes, under their fingernails, and at dangerously high levels in their bloodstreams, but that was because they had a fan on in the car, and it blew all the dust from the bomb right up their noses without them detecting it.

  111. says

    Actually, the guys in the car were Mexicans. After helping an Iraqi cross the border, the would be martyr went to pay them in Iraqi money, unfortunately, that was all he had. Outraged, they killed the guy, took all his belongings and left him for the coyotes. They had hoped to buy a car with the proceeds, but were forced to steal one instead. In an ironic twist, the “Minutemen”, a civilian organization that patrols the border, is looking for these men to give them a reward, claiming “these Mexicans are doing a better job of policing the border” than the U.S. Border Patrol.

  112. says

    It’s Johnny Golden’s turn at being Pledge master for Phi Kappa Tau at the College of Santa Fe. Today’s scavenger hunt and he really isn’t looking forward to it. Charlie Ortiz, a local with a sadistic sense of humor, gave him the list the morning.

    “Those putas chingadas will never get this stuff,” Charlie snickered.

    Johnny looks over the list. The smelly garter belt and the Kotex in 1950’s packaging are going to be tough enough. Where in the hell is he going to come up with a child’s skull, Iraqi money and an IED? That evening, when he meets with the pledges in his dorm room, the situation is soon under control.

    Teddy Espinoza says his grandmother is a bruja, and he knows where she’s hidden the skull of a child at an abandoned ranch up near Taos. After a lot of haggling, everything else is covered, except for the Iraqi paper and the friggin’ IED. Johnny sucks his teeth. Just then, the Iraqi-American pledge, Abdul steps into the room.

    “Sorry.” Abdul whispers. “I had a rehearsal.”

    Abdul is going to play Richard the Lionhearted in a production of “A Lion in Winter” at the Greer Garson Theater. Johnny always cuts him a break.

    “Hey, Abdul.” Johnny ventures. “Back in Las Cruces, you got anything from the home country? You know, some cash. And something else, something that might-could explode?”

    Abdul looks sheepish, and then he quietly says, “Well, when my older brother got back from his second tour a few months ago, he sneaked back some shit in his duffle bag. But how are we gonna get to Cruces and back by tomorrow night?”

    “I know where we could get a car. It might be hot, though,” says Tony Zoltowski, the gay pledge from New York, who has tricks up and down the I-25 corridor.

    “Road trip!! Road Trip!!” howls Nephi Brenner, the Mormon skateboarder from Denver.

    “Go with God.” Johnny tells them when they horseplay out his door. He reaches under his bed for his bong, and takes a long hit as he looks out his window. The moon rises above Monte Lunas like a drop of milk from a nipple.

    “Charlie Ortiz can kiss my white ass.” Johnny Golden giggles.

  113. says

  114. says

    Clueless!

    Stupid is as stupid does.

    Is Iraqi currency is often found in abandoned stolen cars?

    Sensitivity training overdose perhaps?

    DeeMack’s link above suggests that cars stolen here in the U.S. are used to kill our troops in Iraq.

    Only today the IIC (I—t in Chief) burbled about how wonderful is the ‘democracy’ that is being fashioned with our troops’ blood and all of our dollars in Iraq.

    This, while a lot of people here are gagging on feces they are being forced to eat, the economy is about to go or already is going into a tailspin, and Social Security and Medicare, having been pillaged for such adventures as the Iraq “democracy” is running out of $$$$$$.

    Astuteness is not a characteristic of the ones in power nor of the agencies and bureaus they use to “govern” (control) us.

  115. says

    skevin,

    Most entertaining, that! It might well be the scenario leading up to the “stolen-car-found-with-Iraqi-currency caper.”

    Might be. Then again, how about them Iraqis (Moslems only) that are being let in here en masse? They all been vetted, found to be loyal to the IIC (see my foregoing post), grateful for what he’s been doing for their “Islamic fatherland?”

  116. says

    Hugh,

    I think your version is the most believable. Many, if not most, of the troops returing from the fabled land between the two rivers are nostalgic for the life of danger they had been allowed to lead there.

    The gratitude of the people, the children, the hundreds of soccer matches that can now be seen, and the diminishing violence in the Green Zone, Baghdad and the once restive south . . . etc. all call them back with memories of the way they were.

  117. says

    I’d better label this as a contest entry or I’ll get lambasted. Here goes:

    You islamophoes are always going on about terrorism and trying to link it to “jihad” [ie, inner spiritual struggle]. Here we just have a college prank gone wrong.

    These nice boys were just out for an early bit of Spring Break. They were just going down south of the border and back for some cervezas and some…uh…companionship. Here they were cruising along with some ZZTop playing [You’ve heard about the “Mexican Blackbird”?] when the evil federales came down on them. The cash was the fund for the beer and the…um..entertainment [paid companionship shall be say?].

    Now the “bomb” was admittedly a bit foolish but these ARE would-be chemistry majors. I was a physics major and once saw a friend very shallowly bury an old empty Gatorade bottle with just a small bit of liquid nitrogen in it in a little hole in his yard. We were both drunk at the time but still watched from a safe distance. The resulting explosion blew the dirt off of it and shook the windows of his house. This bomb was also for putting the chemistry to practical use but the intended object to be blown up was just some sand dune in the desert.

  118. says

    A thousand Iraqi dollars and five American dollars, will buy you a cheap hamburger anywhere in town. Hold the ham. Few American burger palaces will accept Iraqi paper money in exchange for a burger, but some will take gold and jewelry. These people were probably just hungry, and stole the car to get from one burger joint to the next, in a futile and frustrating search for fast food. The bomb was conceived out of desperation, to be used to ‘reason’ with the girl at the drive up window. ‘This is a stick up, fill this bag with burgers’. ‘Allahu Ackbar…hold the ham…put a little extra pickle relish on em would you sweetheart’. Well it didn’t get that far because Allah was not willing.
    These guys missed their golden opportunity when they ran off. Had they stayed with the car and got arrested, the prison system would feed them three times a day, plus snacks. Now they don’t have the cash, the car, or the bomb, and they never got even one burger out of it. Allah has a very weird sense of humor…

  119. says

    OK, here’s what really happened.

    It wasn’t Iraqi money at all. Because our intelligence agencies and law enforcement are so ill prepared and uneducated about the threat of Islam they mistook the money for Iraqi currency but it was actually Israeli money.

    And the bomb, sheesh, it wasn’t a bomb at all
    it was a boom box.

    Thats the real story. A little research into the story would of revealed the truth to you all. Instead it shows how racist and islamophobic all of you are.

  120. says

    Iraqi currency? Well, parts of New Mexico might look a little like Iraq, may be the southern part. Actually they were on their way to
    Bagdad

  121. says

    I left out the part about the supposed stolen car so let me re post and explain the whole misunderstanding again.

    OK, here’s what really happened.

    They weren’t driving a stolen car they were on there way home from a bar.

    It wasn’t Iraqi money at all. Because our intelligence agencies and law enforcement are so ill prepared and uneducated about the threat of Islam they mistook the money for Iraqi currency but it was actually Israeli money.

    And the bomb, sheesh, it wasn’t a bomb at all
    it was a boom box.

    Thats the real story. A little research into the story would of revealed the truth to you all. Instead it shows how racist and islamophobic all of you are.

  122. says

    This is just too good. I have too embellish this just ab-it more.

    It was the guy who grabbed the keys out of the car who was the one who was trying to steal it. And it wasn’t the drivers of the car who ran away it was the person who grabbed the keys.

    There now all the truth is out.

  123. says

    When Hoover was director of the FBI, there was no such thing as organised crime ( for a long time anyway )because Hoover said there wasn’t. The current director, and any future director, can say it isn’t terrorism and….it isn’t terrorism. It is what they say it is and nothing more.

  124. says

    I am sure our astute Feebs will uncover the rest of the bombs-for-burritos trail.
    Burritos are all the rage among the Basra arrivistes while Mexican fishermen prize Middle Eastern bombs to stun fish for fun, profit, and sustenance.
    Bomb exporters bring them into the Albuquerque airport where security can let through a truckload of TNT, then drive them to coastal fishing towns in Mexico where they barter them for fish tacos and burritos.
    These bomb mules brought Iraqi cash since they were assured it is accepted in all establishments along their route.
    Rented U-Haul broke down, but a good businessman always delivers on the deal, so our gentlemen hotwired a car and kept going.

    What am I going to do with a book, Robert, I have books. No “Jihad Watch” sweatshirt or anything?

  125. says

    Robert, it was all just a big misunderstanding…

    Iraqi college students Ahmed and Abdul, while viewing an old Crocodile Dundee video, mistakenly assumed that all Westerners went fishing with hand grenades. Since school was adjourned for Spring Break, and they knew other students had planned to “go fishing” during the break, they innocently constructed some bombs with household materials with the intention of catching many fish.

    They didn’t own a car so they went to National
    Rent-a-Car, paid the fee, and were told by the counter rep to select any car from the “Emerald Isle” section. Their English was poor and they thought they could take “any car” and they saw a car parked on the street with keys in the ignition so they simply took it, not knowing it was not a rental vehicle.

    They loaded up the explosives, and some food and were about ready to leave when Ahmad realised they would be in a remote area all day so he thought it only prudent to bring along some toilet paper but they were fresh out. “No problem”, said Abdul, “We can use Iraqi currency because it’s not worth anything anyway, and there’s a certain satisfaction, not to mention the political statement, in using Iraqi currency for that purpose.

    So off they went, stopping at a gas station to fuel up. Suddenly an American grabbed the keys out of the ignition and again, from watching violent Western videos, they feared they were being carjacked so they both ran away as fast as they could, relieved, however, that they had paid theft insurance for the “rental” car.

  126. says

    “We don’t know what their intentions were,” said Nuanes. “We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.”…

    Mr. Nuanes, I am not in America, but over here generally we don’t take explosive devices and stolen cars to a picnic. Generally, of course. Therefore, I agree with you, we really don’t know what their intentions were or whether they were going for a nice meal by the river.

  127. says

    There is something wrong with FBI director Mueller. What is it exactly? (Sheik yer’mami)

    He has a chip in the back of his neck. And if you stab him, he’ll bleed green, foamy blood.

    Where’s Mulder & Scully when you need them?

  128. says

    There is something wrong with FBI director Mueller. What is it exactly? (Sheik yer’mami)

    He has a chip in the back of his neck. And if you stab him, he’ll bleed green, foamy blood.

    Where’s Mulder & Scully when you need them?

  129. says

    Well….considering it occured in “Los Loonies”…

    Perhaps the stolen car’s occupants (distant relatives of Larry, Moe, and Curly, no doubt) might have been attempting to execute the quaint American custom of “gang bang” — they had their little gang and were preparing to produce a bang.

    These guys were just a few firecrackers short of a real fireworks demonstration, however.

    That might explain the FBI’s lack of interest. Just another frustrated group of would-be gang bangers. Nothing to see here; move along, folks.

    Have a good night and sleep tight!

    Riiiiiiight…….

  130. says

    Dear Mr.Spencer,
    I am replying to your plea for help in understanding the situation in New Mexico.We as citizens(anyone that makes it here)must be able to defend ourselves against vicious roadside attackers like the crafty and deadly whitetail deer.I too have witnessed this Islamophobic creature communicate his hatred of muslims by his secret breathing patterns and have heard stories of them being trained by Israeli commanDOEs.Ford Motor company, many years ago,recognized this threat and offered us the PINTO.As far as the Iraqi currency goes,poor investment advice is hardly against the law.And in the future, when the USA becomes an Islamic state,you don’t want a brother to run around broke do you?How insensitive can one person be?I am saddened that you fail to pick up the hidden messages of JIHAD and ISLAM what with your educational background and all.
    J-justified
    I-insanity
    H-hardly
    A-a
    D-danger(see how easy this is)
    and
    I-I(another easy one)
    S-slaughter
    L-liberty
    A-and
    M-mercy
    Someone in your position of authority should know these things and quit wasting your time spreading hatred by reporting something as irrelevant as facts.Allllalalalaaalalalala
    Anytime I can help let me know.

  131. says

    DeeMack wrote:

    All sorts of craaaaazy things going on all over the US and we’re either being told “it’s not terrorism” related or the stories are quietly fading into oblivion with no further explanations.
    …………………………..

    Well, this is timely. Fox news is airing a documentary tomorrow called “Jihad USA: Confronting the Threat of Homegrown Terror”

    This is the first time I have heard of any major news source tackling the issue as an actual phenomenon, rather than a string of unconnected incidents. In order to be “fair and balanced”, though, we have to hear from various jihad apologists and minimizers, including our friends at CAIR:

    “The solution is not to treat the whole Muslim community as a suspect community,” says Hussam Ayloush, a spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations. “This is not about ignoring a threat, but this … should not be about exaggerating any threat in a way that promotes certain political agendas.”

    Still, it sounds as though it might be an important documentary. While its contents are unlikely to have much new to regulars at JW, it may be enlightening for many Americans.

    “Jihad, USA,” a new FOX News documentary hosted by E.D. Hill, airs on the FOX News Channel at 9 p.m. ET on March 29.

    Here’s the link:

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342248,00.html

  132. says

    OK … you want wacky? I’ll give you wacky.

    These Iraqi fellows were long-time Bugs Bunny fans, and wanted to visit New Mexico, in order to visit the place where Bugs and Daffy inevitably make a “wrong turn at Albuquerque.” They were in such a hurry after arriving in the US that they forgot to have their Iraqi currency changed over. Sometime after they left the airport in their rental car, it ran out of gas. Without a cell phone, they flagged down a car driven by a scraggly-looking fellow wearing jeans and designer sunglasses and asked for motorist assistance.

    Unfortunately for the men, the fellow turned out to be Ashton Kutcher, who was driving a car his crew had recently stolen during taping of his god-awful show, “Punk’d.” Thinking it would be incredibly funny to see the “Punk’d” victim’s face as these foreigners drove up to the gas station in his car, he handed the car over to the men, following along with his film crew. In a strange twist, Kutcher was apparently unaware that his Special Effects crew had stored a bomb (with which they planned to blow up the car later in the episode) in the trunk.

    There. Did I leave anything out? LOL!

    (Note to Ashton Kutcher’s lawyers: This is a work of fiction. Don’t sue me.)

  133. says

    Dear Mr. Spencer,

    I’d love a free copy of your book The Truth about Mohammed, but I never dreamed that getting one would be as easy as explaining to you how the FBI luckily foiled a Mossad operation specifically designed to increase American prejudice against peace-loving moderate muslisms.

  134. says

    Actually, I have information that the car was stolen by Iranian Security, who were planning to demonstrate Islam’s renowned tolerance for other religions by blowing up a North American mosque in order to make way for the building of a church.

    The money was Iraqi because Mahmoud Ahmedeenejad is too humble and self-effacing to want to take credit for this highly creditable undertaking.

    I’d like a copy of “Religion of Peace” please.

  135. says

    An update on this story:

    [UPI: Albuquerque, NM; April 1, 2008] The Valencia County (New Mexico) Sheriff announced today the arrest of two alledged accomplices of notorious prankster Toby ‘Till Eulenspiegel’ Jaramillo–his half-brother Jerry ‘The Joker’ Jaramiyah and Carlos ‘Chuckles’ Giron, wanted on charges stemming from an elaborate hoax dubbed “the-old-Iraqi-IED-carbomb-gag.” The two men, together with mastermind Jaramillo, alledgedly concocted and attempted to carry-out a charade designed to embarrass figures in the local political establishment. The scheme was all part of an April Fools’ Day joke, authorities say.

  136. says

    Intercepted message intended for In Today’s Hate-Mail Bag:

    So, like, Robert, when are ya gonna pony up? Some o’ us bin wondrin’.

    (Ya wouldn’ wanna surprise visit from the editors of As-Sahab come an’ rearrange you features now, wouldya?)

    Anyway, belated Happy April Fools’ Day greetings!

  137. says

    The car was stolen by one Hugh Bikwitus, one of the many ubiquitous thousands of Evangelical Christian Snipers-of-abortion-doctors running around, and a certain Tobit Yirehm’elah, an Ashkenazi Zionist Jew, alias “Toby Jaramillo,” a Da Vinci-style mirrored anagram which spelled from right to left reads “Ollimaraj Ybot” = Olam-Aliyah-Ebed, signifying “Servant of the Zionist ‘Invaders’,” or alternately, “Ali-Mi’raj-Abd,” signifying “Allah’s Slave to the Farthest Mosque,” the profile he assumes when seeking to impersonate and frame Arabs and / or Muslims. These two “People of the Lie,” I mean, uh, “People of the Book,” get bankrolled with Iraqi cash by a secret American FBI/Israeli Mossad office in Los Lunas, near Albuquerque, New Mexico (alias Al-Bukhar-Iraqi New Mecca, Co.) with the mission of somehow vilifying Islam by misrepresenting that completely innocuous, totalitarian religion with suspicious activities that cause the concern of law enforcement and concerned citizens alike (in other words, turning them into “Islamophobes” like Robert Spencer, Glen Reinsford, Wafa Sultan, Ali Sina, Daniel Pipes, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Ibn Warraq, et al.) In any case, these Islamic imposters’ aim was to unfairly sway public opinion against Muslims by breeding intolerance and violence (via retribution toward rape victims, advocating apostasy laws and executing ex-Muslims, banning blasphemy, harming heretics, promoting Protocols, marketing Mein Kampfs, necrotizing novelists, slicing cinematographers, gallowsing gays / hanging homosexuals, discriminating against dogs, suiciding into skyscrapers, intimidating infidels, militarizing mosques, quranicizing curricula, tax-exempting terrorism, plutoniumizing Persia, exterminating educators, indoctrinating infants, blowing-up bodhisattvas, murdering monks, pyroing Peugots, kamikazeing commuters, ingratiating graduates, hacking hard-drives, allocating Allahcracy / Al-Qaeda, bombing bistros, supporting censorship, battering brides, necessitating niqabs, vivisecting vulvas, cutting clitorises, lascerating labias, pre-nupping pre-pubescents, traumatizing transits, knifing necks, helping hamas / hizballah, germinating jehad, dominating demographics, criminalizing cartoons, fueling fitna and then freaking out over Fitna, etc.) and to justify it through the example of Muhammad, the Quran, Islamic tradition, jurisprudence and history, in order to somehow disprove the accusation that Islam is not a religion of tolerance and peace! With Tobit posing as a “desperate but doctorate-holding, poverty-stricken PhD, Muslim mechanical engineer” called “N.T. Semite,” and Hugh Bikwitus impersonating an already-indicted but temporarily out-on-bail CAIR officer called “Idolf Al-Aryan,” and both ostensibly inspired by Jesus’ / Gandhi’s philosophy of non-violent resistance, characteristically concerned about non-Muslim (mis)perception of Muslims, and, of course, committed to “Inner Spiritual Struggle,” these “Abrahamic” avengers obtain a bomb from those notorious Quaker qitalists, Jainist jihadists, Tibetan Buddhist terrorists. Confused and stressed-out by the dizzying polarities of their conflicting roles and stances, these Judeo/Christian Kuffari got drunk and unsuccessfully attempted to flush an entire edition of the Qur’an down a toilet at the local gas station where they were kismetically caught by the car’s angry owner who grabbed the keys, causing them to flee away on foot, leaving the bomb and the foreign currency in the vehicle. The FBI ruled out terrorism to cover-up their involvement. Yeah. That’s the Ticket!

    P.S.: By the way, except for RELIGION OF PEACE?: WHY CHRISTIANITY IS AND ISLAM ISN’T, I own all of your books.

  138. says

    Mr. Spencer,

    I’d love to have a signed copy of
    Islam Unveiled: Disturbing Questions about the World’s Fastest Growing Faith

    Product Details
    • Hardcover: 210 pages
    • Publisher: Encounter Books; 1 edition (July 2002)
    • Language: English
    Thanks for the contest, win or lose, it is fun reading all these crazy stories!
    Joe Schmoe