Jihadists develop "suicide underwear"

Unmentionables. "Terrorists develop ‘suicide underwear,’" by Imran Asghar for the Daily Times, July 31 :

RAWALPINDI: Would-be suicide bombers could be using explosives “underwear briefs” rather than explosives jackets to evade “conservative” body searches, sources said on Wednesday.

Sihala Police College forensic lab sources told Daily Times that the study of recent suicide attacks showed that suicide bombers used “explosives-laden” under-garments, briefs in particular, to carry out the attacks....

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74 Comments

That's a bit below the belt.

No need for bladder control. This would certainly make for a good parody. Never ending supply for Jihadi armaments and clothing. Hey the need for blood is vital for allah. Blood fest is the name of the game.

New question in jihadi matchmaking: Boxers, briefs, or bomb?

If they could just put their creative minds to something a little more productive, like planting food crops or building something, or manufacturing. Something that doesn't involve explosions and destruction.
A waste.
A cult of death.
Later
Albert

There is just no end to their scientific achievements. I hear that they are perfecting a goat bomb.

Why shouldn't you buy underpants from the Ukraine?

Because Chernoble fallout!

I'll get my coat. :-)

The day will come when all airline passengers will have to take their clothes off to be searched.

And, I might add, it gives new meaning to "going commando."

I am thinking 72 disappointed virgins.

You're probably right, Hugh, about the clothes but that still leaves body cavities.

Excuse me sir, is that a bomb in your underwear or are you just glad to see me?

You took the words out of my mouth pr126

Now this is just silly, cant they find something better to do with their time like build a bird house or fix a neighbors fence?

It is ironic that the very tool you need to function in the porn heaven of Islam certainly would have one think a lifetime over, before strapping on this device. I do not believe that allah or Mohammed promised regeneration of that part the male biology. Ha ha! But allah knows best.

Mr. Fitnah: The answer to your question is no, they can't find something better to do. They haven't found something better to do for a very, very long time.

New question in jihadi matchmaking: Boxers, briefs, or bomb?

Posted by: MarisolJW

Yeah, they're called Bomber Briefs! LOL!

kind of hard to fit a bomb inside a thong or crotchless panties...

This, then, makes wedgies not only uncomfortable for the one, but deadly for all.

Hey... let's be careful out there.

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w121/farwell1969/PhilEsterhaus.jpg

"By their Fruit of the Loom ye shall know them."

(apologies to Matthew)

You guys are hilarious!
These maniacs are just an unending source of jokes.

I used to think edible undies were pretty hot. But bomb briefs...they're sizzling!

As long as they're white! Anything else just wouldn't be halal.

Brown or green camouflage would look the BOMB!

I won't be making fun of the Mormons' "funny undies" anymore after this.

Posted by: Spot on
There is just no end to their scientific achievements. I hear that they are perfecting a goat bomb.

well why not, we have in the west blow up dolls, so why not blow up goats

PS, kind of reminds me of a Roxy Music line

I blew you up and you blew my mind

I dunno--this whole "explosive underwear" thing, I just don't think it'll catch on. Look how far the fad for "explosive shoes" went--never caught on either side of the Atlantic. Nah, "bomb basics" ain't gonna become fashionable--most folks I know wouldn't be caught dead in 'em.

Will result in the phrase "He had an accident in his shorts" to become the answer to:

1) Why the change of clothing?

AND

2) Cause of death?

Why do I find it impossible to stop laughing? I just can't stop laughing?

Well, it exposes the truth, in a way, because what this is ultimately ALL about is in this general area anyhow, so I can only say it's appropriate. Next to world domination, which is all about this area as well for men, the control of women for the service of this area runs a close second. So, I guess it's an appropriate area for the placement of the attempt to create a Big Bang out of next to nothing.

In every dream home a heartache
And every step I take
Takes me further from heaven
Is there a heaven?
I'd like to think so....

I bought you mail order
My plain wrapper baby
Your skin is like vinyl
The perfect companion
You float my new pool
De luxe and delightful
Inflatable doll
My role is to serve you
Disposable darling
Can´t throw you away now
Immortal and life size
My breath is inside you...


Maybe the 72 virgins are really inflatable dolls. Actually, muslim women might as well be inflatable dolls. I'm sure that would be just fine with muslim men.

There have been several devices employed, and intercepted, which used a woman's bra. Mens skivies too. Millimeter Wave technology is already being employed at many U.S. airports (computer rendered graphical displays of contraband), the Brit's are developing Terahertz tech for Heathrow, the UAE and Qatar use mmW also. It IS coming to a town near you period. Oh, the CDC is using other similar types of tech to find human platforme bio agents also.
Islam, the perfect vehicle to usher in a New World Order.
Look at it this way, submission is coming, one way or the other. Dar al Islam. Frankly, I prefer al Haarb.

And just think, if they have no kids, and aren't killed they will be awarded the Darwin Award for their efforts.

The Unabomber has been replaced by the Undiebomber.

This new developement will help the National Association of Nudists in their efforts to pass laws to fly naked. Less cost. Lower airfare.

There was an individual of the mahometan cult that was caught at an airport checkpoint with a cell phone up his ass, if I recall correctly. I remember thinking at the time that this may mark the end of my flying days, fully expecting the crack TSA to immediately institute full cavity searches for all travelers (except "Middle Eastern - looking" folks, of course, cause after all, we mustn't profile). Luckily, the directive never materialized, but it was iffy for awhile.

Paleologus; you're hysterical.

"Look how far the fad for "explosive shoes" went--never caught on either side of the Atlantic."

Maybe that's because we immediately had to take off our shoes. There wasn't enough time for the fad to catch on.

"The day will come when all airline passengers will have to take their clothes off to be searched."

The passenger will not be able to stand behind a screen. He will have to undress in full view of an inspector because otherwise he could take off his boxers and keep the bomber briefs on.
A urologist should be on hand to examine the body, preferably a female urologist. An infidel woman, not of the person's family, in a position of control over him. Call it a triple disincentive.
I can't see them blowing up that area, either. It sounds more like a smuggling opportunity. Once in the air, head to the restroom and take care of business.

I have noticed after eating certain foods there are explosions going off in my underwear. Is this the same thing? Because it has caused mass casualties in crowds.

Go ahead......pull my finger. The new sign of a detenation cord :)

I assume that these 'explosive underwear' don't come in a thong?

I guess as a suicide bomber I will pull my own finger.

That's actually interesting. I had read, in various sources, that the suicide bombers often went to special pains to protect their genitals so that they would be fully functional for the 72 virgins. For example, I read that one of the London airport bombers, last year, although badly burned, had carefully protected his penis. Is this true, or just urban rumors?

Hugh wrote:

'The day will come when all airline passengers will have to take their clothes off to be searched'.

Spot on wrote:

'This new developement will help the National Association of Nudists in their efforts to pass laws to fly naked. Less cost. Lower airfare'.


Gentlemen, an Australian cartoonist whose name escapes me beat you both to it, long ago.

I can still recall the cartoon, though alas, I cannot provide a link to the actual image. Right hand side of picture: naked man looking very discomfited, holding his boarding pass in front of him in a desperate attempt at modesty. Left hand side: typical bored-looking female airplane employee at desk, saying sweetly, 'Sir, your boarding pass, please'.


Captain Ed ...

Yes, it's true. There was a Palestinian bomber who blew himself to pieces. His penis was found separate from everything else, wrapped in world-class, heavy-duty, industrial strength, high-temperature aluminum foil because he wanted it to protect it so he could enjoy the sex he'd been denied and/or punished for.

I hope everybody in this kid's life who had ANYTHING to do with his upbringing and religious training has to meet this guy in the afterlife and take full and total responsibility for everything they did to him and that he did to other, plus every Israeli he killed and their whole families.

Cultivating this kind of sickness in a kid of 15 is a crime against humanity and should be treated as such.

I am thinking 72 disappointed virgins.

But at least they'll be eternal virgins.

According to Islam, pork is Haraam and isn't it true that a suicide bomber will not detonate if he thinks his corpse will be contaminated with pork? (There's even a company that offers compressed canisters of pork vapors to be placed on airliners to dissuade suicide bombers from detonating; lest they will be denied admittance into Paradise).

But blood and feces are also Haraam. How do these geniuses expect to meet their 72 virgins covered in blood and feces; which is surely the case if a bomb is placed in their underwear?

Maybe he'll have a huge enema on the morning of his "martyrdom."

Hmmm, now what to do with the crap he uses for brains?

Morgaan,

We missed you on the Hirsi Ali thread. You made unsubstantiated accusations against her and then you impugned my integrity for expressing skepticism.

Are you always in the habit of making vicious judgments against people and then falling silent when they ask for substantiation?

Cornelius,

I missed Morgaan, too. It's not normally like her to leave claims unsubstantiated. Often she provides reams of evidence.

Maybe she just doesn't like Hirsi Ali.

Back on topic:

I find it ridiculous that a bomber would protect his privates from the blast, first, because Allah is supposed to be all-powerful and should be able to restore your body in it's entirety, but secondly, what's a disembodied penis supposed to do?

Also, I see the following scenario happening:

Security forces will engage in less "conservative" searches because of this, and some Muslims will cry foul because being touched is immoral.

Sacrificing ones brain & balls for allah is one thing, but it's the decision to sacrifice ones own soul for the cause of Islam that disturbs me the most.

Honey...does this suicide underwear make me look fat?

DenverRodeo "By their Fruit of the Loom ye shall know them."

Uh...I think you meant 'Fruit of the Boom' DR, right?

Always be sure that your suicide underwear is not too tight as it could cut off proper circulation and cause discomfort. ( instruction tag on islam's most popular brand of murder implements )

I wonder; just before the detonation, would he be checking one last time for skid marks?

If so, it's one more thing the FBI can put on their "suspicious activity" list.

If you see something, say something.

Yes, Hugh, the next thing for airline passengers will be naked, full-body-cavity searches. I just hope you're not ticklish.

undaunted,
Perhaps the closest thing to a "brain enema" for Jihadists would be for them to spend a week in a closed room with Hugh Fitzgerald?

Xero G --

That's against international conventions outlawing torture.

Yea, that would be a shit-bomb waiting to go off, eh?

Suicide underwear for ending life quickly gives new meaning to the term, "shorts" or "briefs".

Security forces will engage in less "conservative" searches because of this, and some Muslims will cry foul because being touched is immoral.

Posted by: Mo Foe

All we need is for one hardheaded inspector to say: TOUGH. You Muslims made this necessary. We never had to do it before. We're civilized people. You think being "touched" is immoral? We think being KILLED is immoral.
If you don't like it, don't fly.

If only we could call a spade a spade and a jihadist a jihadist and a Muslim a jihadist-in-waiting. Truth hurts.

Ferretting out these bombs shouldn't be that hard, just bring in the boxer sniffing dogs since they love that sort of thing anyway; and then train the dogs to pin them down and lick their faces, that should send chills up the terrorists spine. Ew, dog germs!

More like, ew, human germs. Poor dog. What they won't do to serve mankind. Dogs rule!

Is that a stick of dynamite in your underpants, or are you just happy to see me?

Just use sniffer dogs, they do seem to gravitate to that area anyhow, and l am sure makes islamists even more nervous to be searched by a dog!

Hugh states,

"The day will come when all airline passengers will have to take their clothes off to be searched."

Everybody EXCEPT muslims, you mean.

We can't offend the offensive by asking to search the bombs in their drawers.

Would the brand name be Fruit of the Boom?!

HAHAHAHA! Such excellent funny posts. I'm laughing so hard I forgot what I wanted to say....

Oh yeah laughing at their expense once again I meant.

And the zombies wonder why we infidels make fun of them!

Marisol wrote:

And, I might add, it gives new meaning to "going commando."
............................

Hah! Some *great* posts--I think Marisol's might be my favorite. You gotta admit, though, "suicide underwear" makes "Victoria's Secret" look pretty wholesome in comparison--heck, it makes "Fredrick's of Hollywood" look wholesome!

Let's not leave the ladies out of it. There could be bomb-bras and bomb-bloomers, or a strap-on abdomen looking like the eighth month of pregnancy.

I can see it now, paper suits for flying.
Paper shoes like surgeons wear over their shoes.
All because of idiots who can't be bothered to join the 21st century.
How much easier it would be to relegate them to their desert countries. A large wall maybe, no entry - no exit.

Since someone has mentioned the famous houris of Paradise, aka the 72 virgins - here's Steve Martin's 'take' on the subject, which was shared here by someone called 'richard' not so long ago, but deserves to go round again for anyone who missed out:

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2007/01/29/070129sh_shouts_martin

For the best effect, imagine this naughty, naughty sketch as a radio play, introduced as follows:

*Silence with heavy breathing* tickticktick (or, mobile phone rings). Deafening explosion - KABLOOEY!! *silence for a count of ten*

Hesitant male voice, as of horny adolescent, says: 'Hi...? I'm Ahmad...".

Then a succession of female voices, in varying accents, in varying tones from Infinitely Bored Hollywood Adolescent through to Little Old Lady, perform Martin's marvellous script. My favourite is Virgin # 5, a classic Cat Lady spinster:

"Do you like cats? I have fourteen!"

...

We kafir just have to laugh at the insanities and absurdities. Otherwise we'd be screaming.

And the more and the louder we laugh, the better. I think Ali Sina has called for mockery to be heaped upon the absurdities of Islam.

I suggested to my airline stewardess next door back in '02 we should have Nude Airlines for passengers, with a Fedex freight plane behind with the luggage and the clothes. She was not impressed. To keep all warm, convert the cabin to a big steam room.

As humorous as this is, it does put me in mind of all those allegedly innocent civilians who we're not supposed to bomb.

But who else is producing crap like this?


I will add that there was an lot more noise in the lame-stream media over the use of panties at Abu Graib than there will be over this precious little item.

And a guy who'd rather wear a pair of these things on his butt than a pair of panties on his head gives us a new definition of the word idiot.


All that said, diet is always an element to consider when reflecting on exploding shorts. There may be a garbbanzo bean connection here.

Just a bunch of islamophobes jealous of the great technological advances of great islam.

What about female suicide bomners? Is this Victoria's last secret?

Viking

This is all hilarious. I laughed all the way through the comments. Just out of curiousity though - do they normally wear American made boxer shorts or do they wear goat-hair lined burlap undies under all those robes, or what? I guess we'll find out when the "immoral" searches begin.

Anyway way - maybe this explains their hatred. It's penis-envy.

As my uncle Jed would say: That there is about the balls-iest act of tirrorism I ever hear-d tell of.
Sorry I couldn't resist one more.







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