"Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and send them to beds apart and beat them." -- Qur'an 4:34
"Abused woman sends SOS from Saudi Arabia," from The Star, January 5 (thanks to Raja):
MIRI: A woman married to a Saudi Arabian has sent an SOS to her family in Ulu Baram, claiming she is being abused and ill-treated by her husband there.Dorcas Imang appealed to her father Imang Ngau to highlight her plight to Malaysian and Saudi authorities and alert the Malaysian High Commission in Saudi Arabia and the Saudi Arabian Embassy in Kuala Lumpur.
Imang Ngau, in his late 60s and a farmer living in a longhouse in Ulu Baram, some 200km from here, has lodged a police report here over Dorcas' situation.
According to sources, Dorcas alerted her elder sister, who is living in Sabah, via a hurriedly-made telephone call a few days ago saying she was suffering serious physical abuse at the hands of her husband.
She asked her sister to seek help from the authorities soon as she could not endure the abuse any more.
"In his report, the father said that his daughter claimed she was being locked up by her husband in their Saudi house and is being abused physically," said a source....
Imagine if only all the foreign women, including Western women who somehow fell, a decade or two ago, for some Saudi student in the West who took them back to Saudi, never to be heard from again, all those who are used and abused as sex slaves, and used and abused as other kinds of slaves as well, in Saudi Arabia were to be able somehow to send out SOSs to their families. Hundreds of thousands, no, millions of them.
From the article:
I truly feel for Dorcas plight, but I'm thinking she'll get no response from those she expects an appeal.
Truly sad and truly pathetic.
This Dorcas is not waiting for the Apostle Peter; she is attempting herself to raise herself from the dead.
As Hugh alluded to above, "Dorcas" is a New Testament name. Acts 9:36-43, to be precise. It's sometimes rendered as "Tabitha"; my copy's footnotes explain that "Dorcas" and "Tabitha" are Greek and Aramaic words for "gazelle."
That, of course, raises the highly likely possibility that she was singled out for even worse treatment due to being a non-Muslim.
Dorcas is a resonant name. The Bible and Shakespeare.
And "gazelle" -- a beautiful word.
Old poet:
"Green and orange, wonderstruck / With its own loveliness and luck, / Across a crag a rainbow fell / And captured there a poised gazelle."
I was just thinking today about how islam has to be the dumbest THING on earth for ANY woman to willingly be a part of. I mean you get raped it's your fault and you can be stoned. The book, that dictates everything about your life, states clearly that you are worth one half of what a male is. Your husband has the right to beat you for any reason HE chooses. And on and on. What a horror of a life. AND you have no choice if you have the misfortune of being born into the dreadful thing.
It is amazing that after all of the stories on how such marriages go, Dorcas would have entered into one. I would also like to know the age of this woman. She does not sound like some child bride, but a willing participant.
"It is amazing that after all of the stories on how such marriages go, Dorcas would have entered into one." --from a posting above
As Dickens might have said: "Dorcas was willin'"
How many more women are there like Dorcas Imang? A few voices do get out, like Betty Mahmoody's, but most of these women suffer—and sometimes die—in virtual silence.
I hope Dorcas is able to get out. I doubt the Saudi—or even the Malaysian—authorities are likely to be of much help, though, given their Islamic nature.
Hugh wrote:
As Dickens might have said: "Dorcas was willin'"
..........................
Ouch! Hugh, you're barkin' up the wrong tree with that one, old chap...
The plight of this poor woman highlights the truly barbaric nature of Islam's attitude towards women in general. How different, and how much more pleasant, is our life in the West?
For instance - my dog bows to ladies. It's a little trick I taught him. On the quiet command of "manners, boy" he lowers his head and dips his front legs to the ground. It always wins their hearts and from that moment on, they love him to bits. Why does this little display of canine gallantry melt the hardest heart?
The manners I taught my dog are a reflection in miniature of our own human manners and the deference and respect our cultural values require that men show to women. Thus, when he bows it's not just endearing, it's also reassuring, because it underlines the elevated status of women in Western society and because any men present are reminded of the high premium our society places on the value of such gentlemanly behaviour.
To those of us raised within the traditions of Western civilisation the rules of social ettiquette are our cultural norms, employed on an everyday basis almost without conscious thought. The little pleasantries, stepping back allowing others to pass, holding doors open, the thank you's and excuse me's, make all our lives more pleasant and come to us almost unbidden.
Yet these things we call manners, and particularly the way men interact with women, have a direct lineage back to the medieval codes of chivalry and the concept of courtly love, when European knights would elevate their love for their ladies above all other things and often even over their own lives. The values of courage, humility, modesty and self-criticism, along with many other qualities we still prize today, were enshrined within the chivalric code.
In turn, the chivalric code itself grew up as a direct reflection of, and with direct reference to, the Christian beliefs that lay at the foundation of the early middle ages in Europe. One step further back in time takes us directly into the life of a carpenter from Nazareth.
The fundamental principles he taught us have informed, sustained and illuminated the morality of our civilisation for many centuries. You don't even need to be a Christian to acknowledge his role in all our lives.
Strange to think that were it not for the life and example of that one man we would all be very different people today. And my dog wouldn't bow to ladies.
Oh noes!
In the seventies, when I was living in Bangkok, I often went back and forth between Thailand and Europe, with stopovers in Dubai. On one of these flights from London to the Far East I met two pretty British chicks, seated next to me, who were very exited about their upcoming marriages with Arabs in the Emirates. (Really not sure if it was Saudis)
I went out on a limb to warn them off, talk them out of it, but all I got was the old "they're not like that, they're just like us, they re educated in England, they are really nice..."
I gave them my name card, and much to my surprise about a year later I received a call from one of them, asking me for all kinds of help, which I was in no position to offer.
I remember forwarding their names to the British Embassy in BKK, but that's about it. What more could I do?
Locking women in the house seems to be a fairly common muslim practice. I remember reading about this in the 'Religious Policeman' blog which was run by a Saudi national. The men lock the women in when they go out and windows are barred. Animals are treated better.
Throughout Darul Islam, Dorcus Imang's tragedy is repeated millions of times over everyday.
Should we rename "Jihad Watch" to "Crime and Punishment"?
Joining the Mafia, err I mean marrying a Muslim, much like converting to Islam as required for the marriage, is a one way street. The only way you leave the Mafia is in a box, dead, as in most cases!
Now that this secret is out, even if this poor woman escaped back to Malaysia, her father, brothers and male cousins will kill her to their excellent "honor" in society intact, per the excellent Islamic tradition. The status of women in most Islamic nations is slightly above goats ready for slaughter, should they attempt any escape from their spouse/master.
One should wonder why a Malaysian father would export his beloved daughter to another country for marriage, where he has no real means to come to her aid?? Perhaps he was fooled.
From the post above:
'One should wonder why a Malaysian father would export his beloved daughter to another country for marriage,.........'
Muslims have tons of children because their mosque leader tells them to. And then, the father who has umpteen children feels obliged to find means of earning for the sons and grooms for his daughters.
When he cannot find a suitable groom in his own country, he would be willing to send his daughters abroad.
And the daughter may or may not be beloved as your post suggests. She is viewed by many muslim men with umpteen daughters as a burden or as a chattel to be got rid of in marriage to the first possible suitor.
Sad, but that's the way things are.
Hard Rain,
I would be charmed and delighted to come upon a man whose dog bows to ladies. (Mine, a female shepherd, with a skull like an anvil, can't be walked without a head collar for fear of her choking herself to death.)
You're right. Chivalry did not come, even indirectly, from Muhammed.
Stormwarning
It would be too off-subject to talk about our dogs but your friend sounds formidable indeed!
As for the bowing bit, it's actually quite annoying, for when he does that the lady invariably decides that of the two of us, he is the most charming, and he gets all the attention. Damn!
Hard Rain,
Wonderful post! I love it. And spoken like a true gentleman. We need quite a few more around here like that.
When I was in high school in the 70's there was a girl on the drill team who became the star of our senior class play. She was lauded and applauded and it looked like she would do something amazing with her life. Imagine my surprise when at our ten year reunion someone who was speaking at the podium mentioned that she had married a Kuwaiti prince and was living in Kuwait, and while she couldn't be there with us she sent us her greetings. 'Haven't seen or heard anything about her since.
You probably will never hear anything from her. Unless her Muslim jailor/husband allows it.
I am one of those women married to a muslim. Yes, I was foolish. But unfortunately, it is almost impossible to talk someone in love out of marrying their beloved. Even we (others like myself) try to warn others from our experience, but to no avail. Do not be so harsh on women like us. Have pity. Even if we were stupid, how can you justify kicking someone when they are down? Hindsight is 20/20. Also I am a lot more knowledgeable now, unfortunately too late.
I am a Christian and there is our problem. He lied to me before marriage as I would only agree to marry IF our children could be raised Christian. (I knew NOTHING of Islam at the time.) I didn't realize that he had no choice in the matter unless he had stayed in the US where we would have been allowed to practice religion freely. (Well, not anymore, but that is another story). I was not required to convert before marriage and I told him I would not. How many women in the US are beaten, held hostage, and threatened? How many have been killed even after seeking help? True, it is worse in 3rd world countries for sure. But please, don’t blame the women.
It should be a requirement to take a course in the realities of being married to a muslim before being allowed to marry. I know of many who later, regretted their conversion/marriage. The cultural differences are so vast. After awhile, the "charm" of living over there, wears off. What mind-boggles me are the women who after 9-11, still have any interest. Our government does not help by keeping things hush-hush, heaven forbid we should offend them. Let the truth be known!
See how they treat their muslim maids, (sadly I have heard horror stories about Americans abusing maids!) Unfortunately, when these women go over there so young, they adopt the Arab mentality. Quite frankly I have been shocked to see what happens to American women's mentality after living there. I was older when I married so I think that made a difference for me. The men DO change once they return to their home country. Their family and society play a major role in their sphere of influence. They are like the Japanese, all doing the same thing, heaven forbid that you go against the flow! I mean look at middle schoolers! Peer pressure is major, so too for the Arab/muslim. They are taught to conform very young. I have heard Arab (overseas) and even Mexican girls (here in the US) taunt and even ostracize girls who were too "western" or too "American."
Prevention is the key. But if we speak truth, we are called “Haters” or Islamophobes. How sad it has come to this: with everything being “True”, one only has to choose the Truth of their choice. Truth is no longer absolute.
R.I.P: Absolute Truth. AKA: The Way, The Truth and The Life! HE Lives!
I know also that in some of the richer arab gulf countries, the girls require such a high dowry (to be paid in the case of divorce) that the men take foreign women because they can basically get them for nothing/cheap. Plus they will not be as demanding and coming from a poor background (like the farmer's daughter) they put up with more.
Plus think of the advantage one has in not having to deal with in-laws and having TOTAL control over your wife as she is far from her family and country. Often they are allowed to return to visit their family but not allowed to take their children for fear they will not return.
Isabellathecrusader
Thank you for your kind words. I've been reading your posts for quite a while and I'm something of a fan so being acknowledged by you is 'praise from Caesar' as far as I'm concerned.
let-the-truth-be-known
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Hearfelt and sad. I'm so sorry you've suffered in the way you have, and I hope you find your way back to happiness now that you've returned to live with us again. Welcome home.
I've said this before in these threads and I'll say it again: Although many voices are raised to condemn the barbarity of Islam, the voices which speak with the greatest authority are those of people like yourself, for you have been there, inside Islam. You, and those like you, who have suffered in the way you have are in many ways the most important voices we ever hear within this community. You've learned the truth the hard way, by direct experience, and there is so much for us to learn and so much that only you can teach us. I hope you stay and share more of your thoughts with us in the future.
Could I just say that although you rightly point out that women in America are also sometimes mistreated by their spouses, these crimes are committed contrary to the public morality of our societies. When such crimes are detected the perpertrators are prosecuted to the full extent of the law and everyone here agrees that such behaviour is deviant and abhorrent to us all. It's a crucial point of difference between us and Islam; for as you yourself know, this is not the attitude taken by the vast majority of Muslims, who view such behaviour as not only acceptable but, indeed, religiously sanctioned and even (horrifically) pious.
I hope you get your message of truth out to those vulnerable women who might be tempted to marry Muslim men. Our problem is no longer the Iron Curtain of Communism, it's the Iron Veil of Islam.
Dorcas Imang is a Dayak (aboriginal native of East Malaysia) and likely a Catholic originally. It is unfortunately not uncommon for poor aboriginal people
in Malaysia in Sarawak and Sabah to marry off their daughters to wealthier Malaysians or foreigners, in this instance a Saudi Pig (oops, that's redundant). Naturally.
she had to convert. I assure you, your average Malay Muslim women would get no better treatment from an Arab women
and would likely and justifiably claim abuse as this
Dayak women did.
Dorcas Imang is a Dayak (aboriginal native of East Malaysia) and likely a Catholic originally. It is unfortunately not uncommon for poor aboriginal people
in Malaysia in Sarawak and Sabah to marry off their daughters to wealthier Malaysians or foreigners, in this instance a Saudi Pig (oops, that's redundant). Naturally,
she had to convert. I assure you, your average Malay Muslim women would get no better treatment from an Arab man
and would likely and justifiably claim abuse as this
Dayak women did.