The incredible Reza Aslan automated insult generator!

AslanNov102010sm.jpgClown on autopilot, or literary genius?

Invite all to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious… — Qur’an 16:125

Recently I’ve written about Reza Aslan several times (see especially here and here), as he is a quintessential example of a deceptive Islamic supremacist who is widely taken as a “moderate,” and is thus a good illustration of how people can be taken in by such snake-oil peddlers. The pint-sized literary poseur Aslan is trying very hard to appear as a reasonable, fashionably liberal voice of Islam, but the deceptiveness of this is shown by the fact that he is a Board member of the National Iranian American Council, a group that genuine Iranian pro-democracy forces regard as an apologetic vehicle for the Islamic Republic of Iran. He has also called on the U.S. Government to negotiate not only with Ahmadinejad but with Hamas — that is, with some of the most barbaric and genocidally-inclined adherents of Sharia.

Anyway, because despite all the evidence of his dishonesty, including his lies about the organization SIOA, an organization of which I am associate director, on national television, I still always hold out hope for some honest discussion with anyone whose writings I analyze and criticize. So over the last few weeks I sent, without comment, links to each of the Reza Aslan posts that I wrote at Jihad Watch to Aslan himself.

These are the responses I received:

1. You don’t actually think I read the drivel you send me do you? You’re a clown and the only proper response to clowns is laughter. Unless of course your obsession with me is motivated by something else. In that case, I must tell you that I’m flattered but you’re really not my type.

2. I don’t know how else to tell that I’m just not attracted to you. You and I are never going to get together Robert. You should stick to men your own age and weight.

3. I told you. I’m into women not walruses.

4. Ok. Fine. I’ll think about it. But first you have to shave and lose some weight.

5. If I send you a picture will that satisfy your lust for a while?

I wrote here that I planned to publish these emails, since they showed Aslan’s utter intellectual bankruptcy, gutter mentality, and inability to engage in rational discussion, and I repeated that Sunday. At that point Aslan noticed, and I received this from the same email address as the ones above, aslanmedia@me.com, with the sender labeled as “Reza Aslan”:

Dear Mr. Spencer. This is Mr. Aslan’s assistant. You seem to be under the impression that Mr. Aslan is actually opening, reading, and responding to your emails. I assure you he is not. The email responses you are receiving are automated responses set to respond to your emails indefinitely. You can’t actually think he is interested in reading anything you have to say. Mr. Aslan is a world renowned, best selling scholar. There is nothing about you or your “work” that would interest him in the slightest. Still, we hope that you will keep up your writings about him. Not only does everything you say validate Mr. Aslan’s importance. But you are a source of immense amusement for our team. Thank you.

Roshi

This came, once again, from the sender “Reza Aslan.” Come on, Reza, spring for separate email accounts for your team! How expensive can it be? Ask the Saudis for the dough if you’re hard-up. There really is a Roshi who works for Aslan, and she deserves her own email account, don’t you think? Here she is:

Roshi.jpg

Those emails from Aslan were automated responses, said Roshi! A better world through discourse and communication indeed! Behold, the Golden Age of Islamic invention has returned! Reza Aslan and his trusty sidekick Roshi have invented the automated insult generator! Send Reza an email and he will send you one back accusing you of being gay or fat or both! (Do his editors at the Daily Beast know that he traffics in such homophobic insults?) And no one is even writing it! It’s automated abuse! How imaginative! How innovative! How Islamic! The people who brought you suicide bomb vests now bring you…automated gay/weight slurs!

Try it yourself — aslanmedia@me.com! I hope your luck will be better than mine, for unfortunately, although Roshi/Reza promised that the above five emails were examples were “automated responses set to respond to your emails indefinitely,” I sent Reza two test emails today, and received…nothing. How terribly disappointing, to be deprived of the fruits of this great Islamic invention so quickly after being introduced to it.

Nonetheless, I have the ones above to console me. And given Reza’s literary fame as editor/compiler of the new literary anthology Tablet and Pen, I am proud to be able to offer a Jihad Watch exclusive: an original poem by Reza Aslan himself! I am honored to offer this, without any claim of royalty, for inclusion in the sure-to-be-forthcoming Tablet and Pen II:

You don’t actually think
A poem by Reza Aslan

You don’t actually think
I read the drivel you send me
do you?
You’re a clown
and the only proper response to
clowns is
laughter.
Unless of course your
obsession with me
is motivated by something
else.
In that case,
I must tell you that I’m
flattered
but
you’re really not my
type.

I don’t know how else to tell
that I’m just not
attracted to you.
You and I are
never
going to get together
Robert. You should
stick to men
your own age and weight.

I told you.
I’m
into
women not
walruses.

Ok.
Fine.
I’ll think about it. But
first
you have to
shave and lose
some weight.

If I send
you
a picture
will that satisfy your
lust
for
a while?

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Comments

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  2. says

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  3. says

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    now not actually a lot more well-liked than you may be
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  4. says

    hahaha I am laughing out loud at the poem! You beat them with your knowledge and you beat them with your wit, that is why Aslan is so terrified of you!

  5. says

    Now, that, is hilarious. What a couple of intellectual giants. It’s too bad, they’re no doubt too dull to even realise how infantile their strategy was.

  6. says

    Dear Mr. Spencer. This is Mr. Aslan’s assistant. You seem to be under the impression that Mr. Aslan is actually opening, reading, and responding to your emails. I assure you he is not. The email responses you are receiving are automated responses set to respond to your emails indefinitely.
    ………………….

    Um”what? If Reza Aslan really considered himself “above” responding to Robert Spencer at all, surely he would either ignore his emails entirely, or else would send some sort of generic automated response such as “thank you for your interest in my work; however, due to the volume of my correspondence…”

    The idea that he is sending out *automated* responses that smear Robert Spencer as gay, fat, and ugly is not only bizarre, but would indicate that he is sending out what are, in essence, automated barbs best suited to grade-school playgrounds”and ones that would be considered both crude and hackneyed even at that level.

    I just wonder if Reza Aslan has his responses set to “automatically” continue to up the ante. If so, I suppose next that Mr. Spencer will be receiving responses to his well-reasoned missives that will likely include assertions that he is a poopy-pants and that he eats his own boogers in class.

    Good to know Aslan is keeping the “dialogue” on a sufficiently high plane…

  7. says

    It is typical, though, that a brittle Islamic supremacist, with a typical, boring, woundable ego, would think that insults and name-calling comprise the most serious barbs of all.

    Surely that will immediately elevate you to violent response, Robert…how can it not? I mean, he called you a name! Can you stand for it?

    Your honor!
    Your good name!
    Allahu Akbar!!!!!! (insert ululation here)

    What a pig. Please tell me there are genteel, sincere Muslims of good will. I stipulate in advance they don’t have to be devout.

  8. says

    hey Reza you are supposed to be famous author? cant seem to find your works in our local book store? you got something against wiskers? you are not a very good muslim man, l mean they love wiskas! if you plan on meeting your hamass friends make sure you wiskas have at least a day’s growth, l mean you iranians are known for wiskas!

  9. says

    This guy has totally ruined all of my childhood memories from Narnia and C. S. Lewis.

    OTOH — if you pronounce his name “ASS-lan” it somehow makes it all worthwhile.

  10. says

    Well, not surprised. After all, what do Muslims really have in the long run? Truth of any kind is nowhere near them (start with adulation of a character like Mohammed and you’re guaranteed to be separated from anything which is true as long as you hold this 7th-century cretan in high regard) and so they have to dissemble, obfuscate, project, re-direct, pose or plain flat lie.

    And real liberty is anathema to the devout Muslim, who should ALWAYS be regarded by knowledgeable free folks as a control-freak in waiting. The only wonder of it all is that even more people in the West by now haven’t caught on to all this Islamic deception, rot and superficiality. But more and more folks will in time and that’s why Islam is doomed long term.

  11. says

    Robert, this was a funny interlude, despite or because of Reza Aslan’s nastiness.

    I have noticed this nasty side of many Muslim bloggers, who must have cornered the market on automated insult generators. Their attacks are often sexual and incestuous, themes that seem to occupy their thinking.

  12. says

    This is too funny !

    Wow ! And now we even know who the anti – Marisol is.. it’s Roshi !

    And maybe next Aslan can become the next official poet laureate, of New Jersey, with the deep insight that Allah has granted him..

    Aslan is a fool, for trying to do the tango with Mr. Spencer.

    You’re out of your league, Reza Aslan. Remember the old proverb, Reza Aslan.. ” It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt “.

  13. says

    Dear Mr. Spencer. This is Mr. Aslan’s assistant. You seem to be under the impression that Mr. Aslan is actually opening, reading, and responding to your emails. I assure you he is not. The email responses you are receiving are automated responses set to respond to your emails indefinitely.

    Oh good Lord that was rich!

    “Try it yourself — aslanmedia@me.com! I hope your luck will be better than mine, for unfortunately, although Roshi/Reza promised that the above five emails were examples were “automated responses set to respond to your emails indefinitely,” I sent Reza two test emails today, and received…nothing. How terribly disappointing, to be deprived of the fruits of this great Islamic invention so quickly after being introduced to it.”

    Now how many of us are going to be able to resist this challenge? I mean Really? If I were to gueess I’d say free e-mail accounts have been opening at lightning speed ever since this was posted! I Love all you Anti-Jihadi’s! 😉

  14. says

    “Invite all to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious… — Qur’an 16:125”

    Poor Moslems! Their Koran asks them to do things that are quite impossible for them.
    “Invite … with wisdom”. But there never was any wisdom in Islam; and any wise Moslem left the religion as soon as he got the chance.
    “Beautiful preaching”. There’s no such thing in Islam; there’s a lot of screeching, but it’s not even pretty, much less beautiful.
    And as for “argue … in ways … most gracious”; well, there’s not much grace to “submit or I kill you!”
    Maybe 16:125 is another of the Satanic verses.

  15. says

    Typical mohammedan mindset: thinking that he (or she) is more important than they actually are. Sure, Reza is important, alright. Not! He only makes for good fodder, that’s all. Oh, and how stupid does he think that someone would have to be to believe in the auto response system? I mean come on.

    Mohammedans are so accustomed to lying that next they’ll have us thinking that mohammed was a Perfect Man – oh wait, they’ve already used that lie.

    Yeah mo was the perfect PERVERT, PERIOD! Only a demented loser thinks otherwise …

    But it brings me great comfort knowing that mo is currently rotting in HELL where he belongs. Enjoy your eternal stay, mo & co.

  16. says

    “Mr. Aslan is a world renowned, best selling scholar”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

    ROTFL….

    Some people really believe their own lies…

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

  17. says

    Clown Reza

    If you are reading this, and you probably are because you just can’t get enough of seeing your name in print…

    Why are you dressed up like a kuffar, clown Reza?

    Are you not a holy mooooosssssslumm slave of allah son of the burning desert sands?

    Where’s your headrag?

    Where’s your nightshirt?

    Where’s your floppy sandals?

    Where’s your beard-but-no-mustache?

    Clothes don’t make the man, clown Reza.

    Are you wearing underwear? How are you going to wipe yourself with your bare left hand as your god hath commanded in the Sharia if you are wearing kuffar
    boxers or tighty-whiteys, clown Reza?

    Do you believe in Allah? Did you like her better when she was a goddess of the moon and you could have Those Special Kinds of Dreams about her?

    What DO you dream about when you’re down there on the floor with your rear in the air proclaiming yourself a slave? Is sex slave part of the agreement?

    Do you believe MOhammed was the “perfect man”? Do you believe you should emulate him in all things? In that case, why should we ever allow you access to sharp instruments?

    Do you want Sharia to rule the world, clown Reza? Do you want to stone uppity kuffar wimmin like me, clown Reza? I don’t think you even have the stones to answer me, clown Reza.

  18. says

    Oh, and little muslima Roshi? If clown Reza is a slave of Allah, does that make you a sex slave of Allah? If clown Reza goes all Jihad wacko shahid some day and is welcomed into your whorehouse paradise, are you going to be one of the recycled virgins he gets to bang for all of eternity? After all, you should get an appropriate reward for all that blind loyalty.

    Most of the people here are nicer than I am, little muslimabitch Roshi. I think we should always enjoy a good laugh when we can. But I also think we should turn your proud Islamic penchant for mocking and verbally subjugating the “kuffar” right back on you. And what with Allah the transgendered moon goddess and Big Mo the baby raper, there’s just so much good material to work with.

  19. says

    mobileme (me.com) doesn’t have the facility to send these “random” insult. pretty clever idea though.

    there we have it, in 1400 years we have a spark of ingenuity from our muslim friends.

  20. says

    “Mr. Aslan is a world renowned automated insult generator” (fixed)

    Robert, I’d love to see a televised (or Youtube) debate with you Aslan, Rauf, Daisy Khan and Anjem Choudary.

    While it seems you’re outnumbered Anjem is the only muslim who speaks the truth about Islam so he’ll unwittingly be on your side. It’d be oodles of fun.

    Assy talks a lot of trash but he doesn’t have the stones to face you-that’s why he’s always dodging debates.

    OT-anyone know the html code for strikethrough here? ‘s,’ ‘del,’ ‘strike’ didn’t work for me. tia

  21. says

    This tinkerbell Raisin Asswhatever is getting too much press. It demonstrates that it does not have the intellect or the integrity to carry on a legitimate public discussion about the religion of fleece. Prance on down the road, Raisin.

  22. says

    The style of Robert’s poem and title are reminiscent of William Carlos Williams:

    This Is Just To Say

    I have eaten
    the plums
    that were in
    the icebox

    and which
    you were probably
    saving
    for breakfast

    Forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and so cold (1962)

    And also of e.e. cummings.

    Not bad!

    The subject matter, however, could use improving.

  23. says

    Another disappointing post from Robert.

    I wish you would deal with this guy on the level of ideas, even though of course he is not dealing with you on that level.

    Please remember that new readers are coming to JihadWatch every day. When them come in and see you engaging in this kind of puerile joking, it makes you look much less serious and less ecumenical.

    I for one wish this site would be much more of a level-headed clearinghouse where you can get the straight dope about Islam and Islam-related news events.

    Robert is a pretty impressive writer but it sure seems easy to drag him into the gutter. Seeings stories like this makes me think that this is just another infighting blog. Your goal, I suggest, should be to emulate the debating style of Malcolm X, who always kept it civilized, and thus more effective.

    Robert, you are a leader. Please act like it.

  24. says

    Aslan’s email domain “me.com” is for Apple’s Mobile Me product. Even a basic Mobile Me account comes with the ability to create up to 5 different address aliases for the same email account, so that you can create the illusion that you have 5 different accounts.

    A genius like him must known that, making it all the more puzzling why he would not at least give poor Roshi her own alias.

    Or maybe it would offend his delicate sense of honor as a Muslim gentleman to present the false front that his organization possesses more Mobile Me accounts than it actually does. Yeah, that’s the ticket. That must be why his assistant replied from the same address as he did.

  25. says

    On pages 82 and 83 of Aslan’s No god but God, he makes Muhammad’s caravan raids look bloodless:

    By declaring Yathrib a sanctuary city, Muhammad was deliberately challenging Mecca’s religious and economic hegemony over the Peninsula. And just to make sure the Quraysh got the message, he sent his followers out into the desert to take part in the time-honored Arab tradition of caravan raiding.

    In pre-Islamic Arabia, caravan raiding was a legitimate means for small clans to benefit from the wealth of larger ones. It was in no way considered stealing, and as long as no violence occurred and no blood was shed, there was no need for retribution. The raiding party would quickly descend on a caravan — usually at its rear — and carry off whatever they could get their hands on before being discovered. These periodic raids were certainly a nuisance for the caravan leaders, but in general they were considered part of the innate hazards of transporting large amounts of goods through a vast and unprotected desert.

    Though small and sporadic at first, Muhammad’s raids not only provided the Ummah with desperately needed income, they also effectively disrupted the trade flowing in and out of Mecca…

    Why doesn’t Reza Aslan mention what core Islamic texts say about Muhammad’s raids, for example, what is said on page 287 (425 in the Arabic) of the earliest Muslim biography of Muhammad:

    [The Muslim raiders] encouraged each other, and decided to kill as many as they could of them and take what they had. Waqid shot Amr bin al-Hadrami with an arrow and killed him…

    More evidence that Aslan is a deceiver or profoundly ignorant.

  26. says

    Forgive me for being completely OT, but I know there are several ex-muslims that post here and thought you might know the answer to a question that has been buggin’ me for a while?

    If dogs, pigs and other nefarious creatures are considerd “haram” or unclean in islam, what was the significance behind “allah” having Noah save them on the ark? Did allah make a mistake, or was the fault Noahs, and if so why wasn’t Noah punished severely by allah the oh so merciful?

    Seems to me, if they had just been drowned during the flood allah wouldn’t have to worry about muslims being contaminated by them ever again! Or is the allah of mein qurumph just into playing games?

  27. says

    Roshi is a disappointment to me: “she hopes to work for a better world through discourse, communication, and the support of democratic ideals”. There certainly isn’t much discourse in an automated insult generator. It does communicate though.
    Regarding the democratic ideals proposed by Reza Aslan I see nothing much in them except the indirect or even direct leadership by Shia clerics in the manner demonstrated to us by conditions in the Islamic Republic of Iran.

  28. says

    This Aslan fellah is a punk for sure. His insults and responses barely rise to High School level.
    Intellectually bankrupt he goes straight to name calling and calling people “queer”.

    Pathetic and oh so typical of those that know when they cannot win to call names and ridicule instead.

    No islam…Know Peace.
    Know islam…Throw Up!

  29. says

    That was very funny.

    Out of curiosity I checked out the availability of the writings of the world-renowned author Reza Aslan on Amazon.com . There are a few things there, but Robert’s books outsell Aslan’s books by a huge factor.

    I was intrigued by No. 10 on the list, which has the teaser “‘The Islamic reformation has begun’: Reza Aslan, a Tehran-born Muslim, joined his high school’s Young Life group to become a Christian, then got kicked … An article from: Sojourners Magazine by Asra Q. Nomani (Digital – Jun 15, 2007) – HTML” That’s it. Would love to know more about that but damned if I’m going to pay money for it.

    It sounds like Reza Aslan is still acting out his rage after being rebuffed by high school Christians in Teheran. Obviously they detected then just how sleazy this guy is and didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Would love to get some feedback from the Christians who kicked the guy out of their group, and the specific reasons why.

  30. says

    1. You don’t actually think I read the drivel you send me do you? You’re a clown and the only proper response to clowns is laughter. Unless of course your obsession with me is motivated by something else. In that case, I must tell you that I’m flattered but you’re really not my type.

    2. I don’t know how else to tell that I’m just not attracted to you. You and I are never going to get together Robert. You should stick to men your own age and weight.

    3. I told you. I’m into women not walruses.

    Methinks he doth protest too much.

  31. says

    Maybe Aslan is projecting and this is his form of an Islamic love letter? We all know of the hypocrisy within Islam around gays.

    Be careful,Robert. Remember what happened to the unfortunate Saudi man-servant in London!

  32. says

    Aslan alluding to homosexual tendencies in Robert?

    This from a man that worships long dead, morally bereft, false prophet that historically relished in the sucking of the tongues of boys?

    Oh, the irony…

  33. says

    Of course Aslan must avoid you at all costs: you’re in the Truth business and he is in the Fantasy business, which typically is much more lucrative & easy, and much threatened by you. I doubt if he really believes his propaganda but perhaps by fantasizing Islam he thinks he is helping to make Muslims more peaceable & tolerant. If so IMO he’s ultimately counter productive – I think ridicule is best in the long run.

    In any case, to his credit he seems to have written a good article on Hillary’s Troubling Silence

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-11-13/hillary-clintons-silence-on-iraqi-christian-genocide-must-end/

  34. says

    Ad hominem attacks are the last desperate resort of those intellectually void of any rational or factual responses. The replies Aslan sent initially (before he hid behind Roshi) prove he is incapable of defending his faith.

    Stay classy, RS. The way to defeat islam is to simply state the truth.

    “The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.”
    ~Winston Churchill

  35. says

    Courreges W — that was a really cool poem. Or as we say in the South, “pohm.” If only everyone could be so civil as to write a pohm when they nab our nabs.

  36. says

    Hi Mr Aslan & Roshi

    I’ve heard of the wonderful new computer program that you’ve invented that automatically generates insulting email responses.

    If you are okay with it I would like to market your Automated Programmable Insult Generator (A-PIG) in South Africa

    We might need to work on the name though as I’m not sure that your market – ie sharia loving schmucks- would buy a program called A-PIG, even although the name aptly fits your style of communication.

    Regards

    Dave

  37. says

    Bwahahahahhahahaa! classic!

    Reza’s man-childishness is nauseating. His gutter humor a cheap and pathetic attempt to opt out of any serious discussion with you about Islam.

    Hahhahahahah, Watching you tear him apart intellectually was satisfying enough… and then the poem!!! hahahahha, truly the coup de grace for this assclown.

  38. says

    I just blogged this a few minutes ago and then saw your article.

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  39. says

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  40. says

    I just blogged this before seeing your article.

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  41. says

    Hi Robert–I just blogged this and saw your comments here. Hope you enjoy

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  42. says

    Hi Robert–I just blogged this and saw your article–they go together nicely.

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  43. says

    Hi Robert–I just blogged this then saw your article on the dude

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  44. says

    Hi Robert-I just blogged this before I saw your article on this homophobic fruit

    Reza Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  45. says

    http://newstime.co.nz/anjem-choudary-the-flag-of-islam-will-fly-over-the-white-house.html
    UPDATE (after the show):

    SMEAR ARTIST REZA ASLAN
    An Open Letter to Reza Aslan the Savior of so called Moderate Muslims! 197 KB PDF

    …You seems like an all-rounder “Islamic pundit” to me who can fool the whole world with myriad of unadulterated lies about Islam.

    …1) Could you give me some good reasons and facts why Saudi Arabia and Iran should not be called true model of the pure Islamic Sharia-based countries?

    …7) Could you tell me why and how “Islam” has been hijacked by the radical Muslims? Is the Islam any kind of Ship or Plane or Train or single vehicle which can be hijacked? Why Billion Muslims could not protect that “Islamic Ship” from the hands of relatively very small numbers of radical jihadi Muslims?….

  46. says

    Reza Asshat is an embarrassment to the people of Iran, and to any serious scholar.

    By reading his reply it became obvious to me that he’s just another left-wing nutjob with no intellectual quality whatsoever, and it surprises me why this radical muslim can appear on certain “news channels” and be taken seriously.

  47. says

    A Paean to Sal Nazare [sic]

    Reza Aslan shills for Iran
    And the theocratic Republic of Islamistan

    One Umma that is, you must understand
    United by Allah, by Prophet, by Noble Qur’an

    That’s unyielding to kuffar; hostile to Jews
    Which lies so often, it’s really no news

    Reza Aslan treads the One True Path, dude
    That leads to submission, shari’a
    ‘N sheer dhimmitude

  48. says

    I’m bloody bored of these sexual things muslims have to say. glaring with psychotic smiles at males and females, i have seen my share of muslim boys around the world abusing their own friends.. i mean guys. is there nothing other than sex on earth for them?

  49. says

    Faint Praise to Reza the Buffoon

    Reza Aslan shills for Iran
    A clown for the theocratic Republic of Is-lam-istan

    One Umma that is, you must understand
    United–no, divided–by Allah, by Prophet and Noble Qur’an

    That’s unyielding to kuffar; hostile to Jews
    Which lies, lies so often it’s really no news

    Reza Aslan treads the One Sure Path, dude
    that leads to submission; shari’a ‘N sheer dhimmitude

    Even so, he seems not to know
    Nor ever really to have Got The Memo

    There’s no humour in Islam, see, says the Great Khomeini
    Neither can salacious good fun nor purile jokes be!

  50. says

    Reza Aslan is a noobjob,
    he is from iran, so he is prob a Shia, now there are about 1.5 bill muslims in the world , shias are like 15-20% minority.
    he is not the voice of muslim majority by any means.
    But he is an educated man, thats is all the credit i will give him.

  51. says

    I’ve written to Aslan, and expect an answer fairly soon:

    Dear Mr Aslan

    It has come to my attention that you have invented an automated e-mail answering service which insults the recipient personally without your needing to read his emails to you, as automatically pointed out by your assistant Roshi.

    I would be interested in trying out this device/service as I receive more emails than I can cope with. I thought it would be useful to be able to insult whoever is writing to me about their looks, sexual orientation etc without having to go through the dreary rigmarole of reading their emails and writing the reply myself, as demonstrated in your “correspondence” with Robert Spencer.

    I look forward to your reply – automated, naturally.

    Cecilie Gamst Berg

    Hong Kong

  52. says

    Gee Reza baby!

    What lustful sensual sentiments! what beautiful poetry!

    I am inclined to believe Ann Barnhardt’s assertions that very few Muslim boys scape childhood without being orally or anally… ahh what was the word she used? sheesh!I forget now.But i do know this: Reza was once a prepubescent sexual, sensual little Muslim boy. Part of the retinue Qur’an refers to as”…pure as pearl, scattered about…”

    Wonder! did Reza learn all that sensual poetry in the proverbial bosom of Islam when he was a pearly little boy?

    Sobhan allah

    Fatabarikallah ahsan ul khaliqeen.

  53. says

    Aslan = Moron!

    The poem was very funny and may I offer you guys something I came across myself on my travels on the the web…

    Debating with Muslim’s is like playing chess with a pigeon.

    No matter how good you are, the pigeon will knock over all the pieces, shit on the board, and claim victory!

  54. says

    “In that case, I must tell you that I’m
    flattered but you’re really not my type.”-Reza Aslan

    There is a false ring to this. It’s not funny but leaves a feeling of revulsion. What type of homosexual is Asland’s type?

    This complex of Aslan reminds me of when Pamela caught some Jihad guy using lipstick and noted it on AtlasShrugs. The guy became super POd at Pamela. The guy’s response did not ring right. His response told me Pamela was right about the lipstick.

    Something is not right sexually with Aslan. Something is wrong with him.

  55. says

    Take a good look at that picture of Mr. Asslan.

    Is it just me, or does this guy look like he’s playing with a few cards short of a full deck?

  56. says

    And for all who want to know why muslim males perpetually have their mind on sex, take a look at where the “black stone” of the Kaaba resides. Google “kaaba black stone” and take a good look at the pictures. (I can’t post the link because it’s a mile long and cannot be linked TO.)

  57. says

    Funny stuff, lilredbird. ha! INDEED

    ~~~~~

    And to state more of the blatantly obvious, this “learned and supposedly respectable moderate Muslim”, Resa Aslan, is no friend of the West OR the Iranian people.

    And there is not the SLIGHTEST chance that this low life is a typical Muslim cultist acting out of ignorance.

    Just like Feisal Abdul Rauf, Ahmed Rehab, Tariq Ramadan and the others, Resa Aslan is the lowest of the low. For these dirt bags know FULL WELL the evil ramifications of Islamic theology and law and continue on in Islam none the less.

    And you can bet that these mutts are fully aware of the scholarly works of the famous ex-Muslims heroes as well. Detestable…

    Islam must be wholly abandoned. Ideas of a workable reform of Islam that will stick are pure delusion…

  58. says

    Hey JW friends…

    Don’t you dare let me put the plug on or slow down the “humorous Islamic commentary” going down this evening…

    Cheers Friends…

  59. says

    Paul Hoffman wrote:

    And maybe next Aslan can become the next official poet laureate, of New Jersey, with the deep insight that Allah has granted him..
    ……………….

    Ah, yes”a reference to one of the most evil pieces of ‘poetry’ of our time”it is also lacking in logic, beauty, and meter. A perfect storm of ugliness””Somebody Blew Up America” by Black Muslim “revert” and Marxist Amiri Baraka, the former Leroi Jones. He wrote this following the 9/11 attacks:

    http://www.amiribaraka.com/blew.html

    This vicious moron had been named the poet laureate of New Jersey in 2001. New Jerseyites were so appalled by this mockery that they had the state’s governor abolish the position entirely, since this was the only legal way to rescind the honor.

  60. says

    I have an idea, Matt …why don’t you start your own website and then run it the way that YOU see fit. Hey Robert has a fun side, too bad that you don’t …

  61. says

    Matt A. Moros,
    You might be right, and your comment expresses somewhat my own thoughts, but then again, it’s possible Spencer has already reflected on the kinds of points you raised, and that he responds as he does to Aslan not out of some petty instinct to “get personal”, but rather on a more impartial, considered basis difficult to imagine for us who have not walked in Spencer’s shoes.

    If someone insults you, slanders you, and does so repeatedly, perhaps the wisest response will not always be to ignore it and keep trying to reason with the person.

  62. says

    “Another disappointing post from Robert”???

    Reasonable people can’t talk reasonably with simple-minds, children, unchangeable humans or animals, so it looks stupid if you try that.

    That’s your approach towards Reza Aslan. You have even more contempt for Reza Aslan than most posters here.

    In contrast you see Robert as a sane adult changeable human and so that’s the side you admonish.

    So typical for so many Westerners! Patronizing, condescending, really contemptuous towards Muslims. But because of that aiming the vast majority of their criticisms at the supposedly changeable side. Using huge double standards.

    No, Reza Aslan is a sane adult changeable human, a famous example for all Muslims, and he is to be held utmost accountable. I am so glad Robert exposed him and his secretary.

    For God’s sake, try for once the opposite approach! See Robert as just following his nature, see him as unchangeable, point the vast majority of your admonishing remarks to Muslims like Reza Aslan!

  63. says

    For heaven’s sake, lighten up and try to aquire a sense of humour ! Often, one of the best ways to deal with puffed up little twats like Aslan is mockery and ridicule.

    I very much doubt whether any intelligent newcomers to JW would be put off by this, and if they are such stiff humourless, pompous tossers, too bad, how sad. Personally, I thought Aslan’s emails were hilarious; ‘automated response’ indeed ! And Mr. Spencer’s response was terribly funny. As for Malcolm X, I’ve listened to some of his speeches, and he certainly didn’t strike me as a civilised debater, more of a vicious hater who had a hissy fit with anyone who dared to disagree with him. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Malcolm X convert to islam ?

  64. says

    Matt A. Moros wrote:

    …your goal, I suggest, should be to emulate the debating style of Malcolm X, who always kept it civilized, and thus more effective.
    ………………..

    Matt A. Moros, are you really suggesting that Robert Spencer would somehow be more “civilized” were he to adopt the tactics of El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz (Malcolm X)”a violent Black Muslim “revert”, communist, and virulent anti-Semite?

  65. says

    Robert, you are a leader. Please act like it.

    What makes you think that you are in a position to tell Robert how to behave?
    Clearly you have not been posting here long. If Robert made light of scumbags like this ASSlan fellah on a regular basis then you might have a point.
    However…when something’s funny, like ASSlans BS about not reading Roberts emails and the insults being generated through some insult generating program, it’s just plain funny and needs to be passed around!
    I mean…how stupid does this idiot have to be to begin to believe that anyone would buy a dumbass story like that? The guys email is comedy gold!

    One would have to be quite wooden not to get a giggle out of this ASSlan fellahs stupidity. ASSlan prolly thinks he’s quite clever. Children have a tendency to think that way. (Yes…I know I’m being childlike…sheesh.)

    islam is a lie and
    Truth is killing it.

  66. says

    Hi Morose–I just blogged this and saw your nonsense

    Aslan is code. Yes, that’s right–he is an undercover Iranian sleeper with direct ties to CAIR and the Muslim Brotherhood. How do I know this? Funny you should ask. Just look at his name: Reza. Let’s disjumble it and it spells Arze. Now let’s take the “Z” and flip it around–that’s right, you have an “S”. So okay, the first name is Arse.

    Now let’s do the same magic with his second name: Aslan. Disjumble it and you get “Nasal.” Take the two names together, Arse Nasal and flip the second name to the position of the first and you get Nasal Arse.

    Anyone with a name like Nasal Arse must have his nose someplace where, most would agree, it doesn’t belong. Which goes to show that Reza Aslan (pronounced “Assland” in Farsi), has his head up his ass, and this is particularly true when he speaks about Islam.

    His talks are sponsored by Taqiyya Taquila, where after you drink it, you just lie there. The one question I would like him to answer is this: If a Muslim beheads an infidel in a forest, and there’s nobody there to see it, does he still get 72 virgins?

  67. says

    On second thought, I do not understand you at all or where you are coming from and take back all of the praise I gave you and now condemn you to hell you heartless anti-islamic idiot bastard fool…

    KIDDING I.W! lolllllll…

    Why you now both come on like wild fire and attempt to ease off into the sun set @ the same time My Man?…

    lollllllllllll, Yeah, Cheers Bro……i hear ya……..

  68. says

    “If anyone should be a prime candidate for deportation, it is Reza the Heartless infidel-hating scumbag. Send him back to Iran where he belongs.”

    Hear, hear! …I agree :)

  69. says

    Alas, most html formatting tags don’t work here (and NO CSS tags). Only bold and italic, and links to other pages, it seems. It is possible to colorize a bit of text like this, but that’s it.

  70. says

    Even if caravan raiding may have been some kind of noble ‘time-honoured tradition’ as Aslan claims, and Muhammad’s raids were bloodless (which we know they weren’t), on what planet is the finest moral example for all mankind a thief? Even a thief in a ‘time honoured, traditional’ form of thievery? No amount of whitewashing can conceal the fact that Muhammad was a glorified highwayman.

  71. says

    Bunty Hoven,
    I agree.

    Did you see what I quoted from the earliest Muslim bio of Muhammad? Where the Muslim raider kills the caravan driver?

  72. says

    I suggest it’s a legalistic dodge. She’s only required to veil herself in public–not in purdah; that is, seclusion at home. You know the old saying, “harem is where the heart is.”

  73. says

    “Ah, yes”a reference to one of the most evil pieces of ‘poetry’ of our time”

    That is a nice piece, depicting the atrocities of mankind against himself. Some documented facts supporting this idea at: http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/atrox.htm
    As is shown there, more than 200 million people were killed in 20 century most of them, innocent civilians. Are those atrocities have been guided by violent verses of Quran. if Moslems accept to delete those verses, is it a guarantee for prevention of such violences. Only narrow minded people may believe in this.

    As is stated in Amiri Baraka’s page:

    “All thinking people
    oppose terrorism
    both domestic
    & international…
    But one should not
    be used
    To cover the other”

    yes

    one should not be used to cover the other

  74. says

    Actually, I thought that was rather funny too:

    “World-renowned scholar…” indeed. I’ll bet you he’s called a big thinker – by people who lisp!