Marines ban farting to avoid offending Muslims

Islam was responsible for the science behind farting. Satan causes farting to disrupt prayers to allah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS_ldpU2wiI

Please help raise money to send beans to our troops in Afghanistan!

Here are these Marines putting their lives at risk for these miserable superstitious and treacherous little Dark Age savages who would as soon sell them out to the Taliban as look at them, and they have the nerve to complain about... farting?!?

"Do the right thing around Afghans": Turn the entire neighborhood into the campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles"!

Banning farting....? OK, when you feel a fart 'cooking', pull one bumcheek to the side, reach for your cigarette lighter and whoosh! -light up! Hours of harmless fun! :)

This game will also help to flush out Taliban who are dressed as Afghan soldiers and who have explosives secreted in their ass. Refusal to take part in this harmless past-time will immediately raise suspicions.

It certainly gives new meaning to the saying "Turn the other cheek!"

Ima

If I were in charge of the marines menu I'd serve:

baked beans, coleslaw, bagels and beer! Dinner time guaranteed to be a gas!

Buraq - the lighter thing - back in the day we called it a "blue angel"

'Don't these Marines have mothers, or someone in their lives who told them as children that audible passing of gas was offensive?'

Offensive ? Really ? Since when ?

:-)

Muhammad believed that Satan passes wind with noise !!!
http://crossmuslims.blogspot.com/2011/07/satanic-fart.html

Keep this guy in Texas, then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK_RGgEwsGY

Why stop there with farting? You do know that U.S. soldiers breathing oxygen and walking on dirt around them offends Muslims too, right?

Since Muslims are so offended by the presence of U.S. soldiers in the Middle East, let's withdraw all soldiers and military assets from all Muslim countries and let them fight their own damned battles.

Now wait just a minute here. Every religious person has the rat to not be offended, even Moslems.

*** Bukhari Vol 1 Bk 11 Nbr 582 ***

Mohammed said, "When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan.

The Adhan is, of course, the Moslem call to prayer. So the U.S. Marine commanders were right: an open fart in front of a Moslem is tantamount to an insult to Moslem prayer and, thereby, to the Archangel Gabriel, the Holy Prophet Mohammed, and even Allah himself.

We're over there to bring democracy to Dar al-Islam. I don't see how letting Marines fart on the Moslem way of life can help in that noble endeavor.

*** 33:21 ***

So the audible fart ban is good. Having said that, an SBD here and there wouldn't keel anybody.

The March 19–May 1, 2003, invasion of Iraq was a partial mistake. Foreign forces entered and toppled the regime of Saddam Hussein in 21 days of major combat operations.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. But, still in the powdery sand desert of Iraq is an un-asked question: …

Did or have the people who went to battle Sadam Hussein learnt anything important from the gamble?

The answer is: YES!

The Western World has by that venture learnt first hand, that Islam is as incompatible to contemporary civilization as oil is to fresh water.

The Media, like some of us from the part of the World where this un-mix ability is not news, know.
The Media’s crime is that they refused to tell.

Gosh. I guess no one's heard all those musselmen prostrating in mosques. There's farts galore in bending down to the ritualistic moon time prayers of the black meteor called qaaba all around the world!!

I know a little 3 year old who calls this activity a bottom burp.Pretty well describes the originator of such an order.Talking out of their you know what....

Oh come ON! You must be pulling my leg...or is it my finger? I can't wait for our troops to get the hell out of that hellhole, and every other middle east country. All they do is drag you into their perpetual life of war.

Imagine my amusement reading this article as I enjoy my carnitas taco plate special!

I've been spending my weekends trying to do things that are offensive to islam, namely grilling pork and drinking beer. I guess now I have a third activity I can include.

Jihad must be wiped out by any Beans necessary.

No doubt about it, it’s a fact Islam make me want to rip a good one.

Good polytheists that they were, the Romans had a god for everything. And one would think that a people who had such a large and precise vocabulary for all things bawdy would have named the god of gas; but such a god was more mythical than real.

Though Crepitus had no temple, he has been hard at work since ancient times contributing to global warming.

Here is a quote from Voltaire's Philosophical Dictionary.

La déesse des tétons, dea Rumilia; la déesse de l’action du mariage, dea Pertunda; le dieu de la chaise percée, deus Stercutius; le dieu Pet, deus Crepitus, ne sont pas assurément bien vénérables. Ces puérilités, l’amusement des vieilles et des enfants de Rome, servent seulement à prouver que le mot deus avait des acceptions bien différentes. Il est sûr que deus Crepitus, le dieu Pet, ne donnait pas la même idée que deus divum et hominum sator, la source des dieux et des hommes.

Since this is a family site, I won't translate the whole passage, but Voltaire understood that Crepitus was a very unlikely god since Roman religion was serious and severe.

Voltaire says, "these childish things (puérilités), the amusements of the old and the young of Rome, show only that the word god has many meanings. It's certain that Crepitus, the god of flatulence, was not the same idea as deus divum and hominum sator - the source of gods and men."

Crepitus, as a noun, is not quite the word in Latin for fart. Peditum (peditum-i) is the noun, pedere is the verb, whence the French get the word, pet, as in the frenchified Monty Python taunt, Je pete a votre direction...

Pedere, to fart, would have principal parts like this; pedo, pedere, pepedi, peditum, with the imperatives as, pede, pedite, and so on.

Well what does this mean for the Marines? Nothing really, except that for Afghanistan they ought to have a temporary sub-motto to Semper Fidelis, just to defend freedom a little.

Something like - Pede Audacter(sg) Pedite Audacter(pl) - Fart Boldly; or simply, Pedimus.

(Pendantic, I know, but,... what's Latin class for?)

The fArt of War

Marines ban farting to avoid offending Muslims
....................................

Oh, good God.

Let's see—here are some things *I* find offensive: forced wearing of the Burqa, murdering apostates, using the soccer stadium nice Infidels built for you for public amputations and executions, cutting the ears and noses off "disobedient" wives, and stoning women to death in the streets.

Where does 'intentional, audible farting' fall in my view of "offenses"? Somewhere around playing music kinda loud and using your car horn when it is not really necessary–in other words, things that are mildly inconsiderate and a bit immature.

That many Muslims are fine with the barbarities enumerated above, but terribly offended by Infidels' farting, shows how f*cked up they are.

We should do *nothing* to enable this idiocy. It's just another stricture on Kaffirs, and more craven dhimmitude on our part.

Islam beans peace

this will explain the reason why........worth the watch

http://youtu.be/h_LO5T06H6E

The Art of Fighting Without Farting

Marines need to go into stealth mode when farting then. The silent but violent type are more deadly in any case.

What a farce!

My response: "The fArt of War?" http://bit.ly/pxk5hS

Audible farting is considered rude in western culture too. I certainly would try not to do it while at a coctail party.

This was probably just a reminder that normal barracks behavior is not appropriate in front of civilians.

I doubt a Marine would intentionally fart loudly while attending a dress funciton.

It won't mean a thing until a unit can perform in unison The Battle Hymn of the Republic by farting. Now that would be a good duty for the Marines.

Just how in the world is the military going to enforce this nonsense? I'd like to know the identity of the individual who issued this to our marines.

I have long avoiding farting in the presence of Muslims, so as not to cause offense.....to the fart.

Please, friends,
Do not write Europe off yet.
There is not only western Europe, Europe governed by self-hating elderly leftists revolutionaries, folks who never grew up and had not noticed that their "revolution" have become establishment now, formed by the most silly and ridiculous pseudo-elites ever; Europe whose native population consists of pepople who partly resigned, partly are corrupted and hence selectively blind, and these two parts viscerally hate the small pockets of Resistence poping up there and there.

There is another Europe, East-Central one, those "new EU countries" We still have very low presence of muslims, but we see what has happened in the West. We watch it in shock, as we loved the West, which was a beacon of freedom for us for decades.
But we are optimistic. Ordinary folks, indluding young generation, seem to understand islamic both totalitarism nd PCMC foolishness (in pools, pro-PCMC issues never get over 20%). We now have freedom of speach undreamed of in countries such as Britain. And we will stand fast!

At the end, we will be glad to form the other hand of pincers liberating old Europe.

'Don't these Marines have mothers, or someone in their lives who told them as children that audible passing of gas was offensive?'

Dearest Robert,
you are obviously a civilized, sophisticated and cultured man. I'm reasonably certain you have never had to eat an MRE, much less subsist on them for days at a time. You have never had to suffer the intestinal insults contained in those brown plastic packages. In military circles, it is considered sufficient if one simply places themselves downwind of the group unless all those present are equipped with chemical mask and other protective gear. Some severe outbreaks might require a politely hollered warning of "BUNKER! BUNKER! BUNKER!"

Farts are also known as "the trumpet of exertion", and the Marines never half-step at anything. In fact, of the 5 branches of military service, I would have to say that the Marines are probably more entitled to fart than any other service. The Army would come in 2nd, and it would be a tie between the Air Force and Coast Guard as to which of them would have the least justification for farting.

I think that the Marines should be extremely diligent in reporting every infestation of Barking Spiders through the chain of command. The brass have made this silly rule, let the brass figure out how to get rid of it.

Whopee. What's all this bollox about ?

"Love is the fart Of every heart: It pains a man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose. "
— John Suckling

Afgan Government Requests Marines' Gas as an Aid in War
Marines test new anti-ballistic system to be launched against incoming enemy ground attacks. The Marines are willing to help and have named the the system the Hyper Velocity Gas/Solids (HVS) System.

Afgans Blast US Marines With Complaint
Afgans accuse Marines of secretly using the Hyper Velocity Gas System in locations near their Mosques. They say it is a violation of the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty.

Afgans Implement New Water Saving Measure
Marines help once again by complying with the Afgan City Council request to shit on the latrine walls, no need to flush.

OK, now I'm going too far. Our Marines nee a laugh.

Our Marines need a laugh.

Makes me wish I could afford satellite radio. Howard Stern would be having a field day with this story. The marines need to have a CONTEST.

So does Islam also ban burping? Don't tell their babies!

First-rate, Absolutely, Resplendent, Thread.

The Afghans are jealous...the Marines farts smell better than theirs...

So farting is offensive to those who wipe their butts with their hand?

Has everyone here heard Spike Jones' great satirical WWII song Der Fuehrer's Face?

"We heil heil right in der fueher's face. Not to love der fuehrer is a great disgrace. So we heil heil right in der fuehrer's face...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZlFBSRrSR0

If you recall, "heil" is replaced with loud, wet 'raspberries". Personally, I believe this is the way we should show 'respect' to Islam, as well...

The poor little thin skinned darlings! This one's for them.

Jurassic Fart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx-PlXJdkDE&feature=related

Well, I never! I am shocked at all of youses behaviour!! I would NEVER stoop so low.

And for an encore:

Jurassic Fart 2 the sequel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51T6Y3qIlis&feature=related

Gotta love that pig!

Alright - this is too much - PC has gone over even their bounds! Oh my goodness...I just farted - HELP! - send in the Marines...

What do you expect? Paris Island is now commanded by a woman. And all the other services have been made "co-ed."

We may behead you, but don't you dare fart in my presence?This reminds me of Billy Connolly telling the story of Fred & Rosemary West. Billy found out the British couple disapproved of him because of the bad language in his shows. Billy had a big smile on his face & said: "Fred & Rosemary West can't stand me because of my bad language...you've got dead bodies buried in your backyard but you don't like me because I say the f word??? Ha Ha".

If the crazy Muslims think farting is a problem then they should know that, contrary to the Koran's humorous ignorance, the world is not flat with the sun orbiting it, and that anyone, including Muslims, that uses any toilet in the Americas is crapping in the general direction of Mecca ( especially South Americans). All South Pacific peoples crap directly at the Kaaba.
With the absurd Muslim mind in mind perhaps one shouldn't point all this out since many muftis, should they ever grasp basic astronomy, may urge Jihad against the entire South Pacific population. Sorry south Pacific peoples, but I think the crazy Muslims make be coming after your ass.

The thing that pisses me off is that more and more Americans and Christians are taking the side of the muslims, being misled as sheep to a slaughter, just to keep from offending them. Not to offend muslims, yea right, but we need a National Fart day followed by a National quran Burning Day. But it seems like anything you do pisses a muslim off so I say just do it more. By the way, have you ever wondered why a praying muslim sticks his arse in the air and a Christian when praying is looking up at their god? I'd tell you but it might offend a muslim.

What you certainly don't want is anally retentive marines!
Farting is about all the average muzzie is any good at - is the US scared of showing them up as amateurs? - just remember one of the Christian Faith's principal gospels : Wherever you be, let your wind go free - in Church or Chapel, let it rattle!

OK. No farting out loud. But it is still culturally acceptable to scratch your privates, pick your nose, and spit. No problem.

NativeSOBdhimmi wrote:

Wow sorry graven image. If i had read your post I would not have posted. Seems we are on the same track, amazing!!
.............................

No problem, NativeSOBdhimmi—great minds think alike!

Excellent Classicus - could that mean, by extension, that StPeter may have been the patron Saint of farts?
I bet your post has got the muslins all confused!

BRING THE TROOPS HOME NOW!!

I think the Marines are reacted to the Muslim sign for insult, which is the raising of the feet and showing of the soles of their shoes.