Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance

Cucumber.jpgLorena Bobbitt prepares lunch


It's all about controlling women, like so many aspects of Islamic law. Sharia Alert from Eurabia: "Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance," by Manar Ammar for Bikyamasr, December 6:

CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

The opinion has stirred a storm of irony and denouncement among Muslims online, with hundreds of comments mocking the cleric.

One reader said that these religious “leaders” give Islam “a bad name” and another commented said that he is a “retarded” person and he must quite his post immediately.

Good advice.

| 44 Comments
del.icio.us | Digg this | Email | FaceBook | Twitter | Print | Tweet

44 Comments

| Leave a comment

Hey, how come I can never find any of these hypersexual women who are driven to an erotic frenzy just by walking down the produce aisle in the supermarket? :(

Seems like the guys thinking up the fatwas for the sake of "purity" have the dirtiest minds of all. And quite possibly some issues about... inadequacy.

I suppose, for some Muslims wives, the site of a mushroom might remind them of their husband and raise a wry smile!


Well, at least now we know that musloid male privates:

- are either yellow or green
- get soft and mushy quickly
- rot within a few days and attract fruit flies

Circumcision, as required in islam, should preclude the necessity for "peeling", however!

Sorry, Marisol!

Comments at the source link worth repeating:

GG:
Expand This simply does not go far enough. What if men are allowed to come into contact with such items? It might turn them gay!
Gerard Wyer
Expand It would be a far greater problem for Muslim men to realise that the woman thinking of their 'penis' whilst handling a cucumber is also thinking of slicing it with a knife :)
Nina
My thought exactly :)) I think the cleric saw the sight of a woman chopping a cucumber with a large kitchen knife and panicked! :)
Mobeen Habib
i wonder what he would ban for men in this context

NPR report from Aug. 2006 also discusses provocative veggies and un-diapered goats

Lan Astaslem

What about hot dogs and sausages? (all beef, of course)

Fatwas should be issued!

OK, that NPR report is serious. musloids are KILLING over this, people! Are we really that surprised?

i think he is more turned on!!!
m

Jihad against cucumbers and bananas ?

I suppose that a fatwa against pickles, is on the way.

Cucumbers, bananas and zucchini, must be part of a Zionist plot designed to corrupt innocent Muslimahs into having impure thoughts.

The lunacy never ends..

From the sounds of it, having sex with Muslim men is so unpleasant that no woman in her right mind is going to dream about it when she's making the salad. (Except for maybe having some nightmares.)

As to the size of that cucumber in the picture, me thinks that Muslim cleric is engaging in a little wishful thinking.

**************************************************************
Hey guys, don't forget, today is the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. (And sixty years later we got it from the Muslims.)
**************************************************************

Next to come under the ban: carrots, most sausages, chicken drumsticks, cigars, leeks, candles, ...

Good one, PRCS! LOL

How about razor clams, or is that haram? How about a pencil with an eraser? Cutting edge religious opinions or what?

Ass-lifters are perverts, they can only think of one thing. We won't elaborate on that. Anyway my old friend Sigmund Freud would have taken a lot of interest.

Cucumbers are monopoly busters.

From the FATWA.
Where there in no alternative to a woman peeling a cucumber, it should be done starting in the middle.

"One reader said that these religious 'leaders' give Islam 'a bad name'...”

Really, islam doesn't need these lug-nut clerics to give it a bad name. But, every little bit helps!

What kind'o mushroom are you thinking of? The woods are plentiful overhere. LOL

It's only the shiek's perception thus his problem for seeing such fruits and vegetables as sex objects and maybe others men and women see it that way but it does not make it right or wrong, it's only telling us that we are human and we are suppose to feel all kind of feelings that we can't really control and that what make us normal. He has no right what so ever to suggest that women shouldn't eat certain things. It's time for people to start questioning their religion and fight those sick ideas that others try to push on people. Religion is man made thus we all can change it, add to it, take from it, and do whatever we want with it. WE have a CHOICE for not to follow anything we do not believe in or have doubt about.

What about flag poles, mushrooms, hot dogs, popsicles, corn on the cob, parsnips, monoliths, unicorns, fire plugs, guys named Richard, Peter, William or Johnson, icicles, pepper mills, stalag/mites/tites, rolls of lifesavers, cacti, rolling pins, telephone poles, Poles, bread sticks, sticks, Lowly Worm, shrimp, lampreys, lincoln logs, bratwurst, dolmas, squid, baseball bats, batons, speed bumps, 10 gallon hats, curling irons, [catches breath], door snakes, smoke stacks, cannoli, jelly rolls, gherkins, sky skrapers, dachshunds, egg rolls, flutes, leeks, tooth paste, Florida, USC, tamales, pogo sticks, cannelloni or Alec Baldwin? Alhamdulillah! Wait, who put the ham in Alhamdulillah?

An absolute nutcase like this is mocked and voted down by muslims online. It's a start. But some lunatic ranting about fruits and veggie's isn't the real deal.
I'd rather see them mock and vote down those clerics that issue fatwa's to kill or subdue the infidels, jews and christians.
But, if I may quote a line that can be found in many articles on Jihadwatch: I'm not holding my breath...

Commenter with the Hebrew name

No list of profane items would be complete without the Washington Monument, Eiffel Tower, and the Empire State and Chrysler Buildings, all of which are just a few examples of architectural phallic symbols.

A warning to all cucumbers, bananas and penises: be verrry verrry afraid of Muslim clerics and Muslim women....


afterthought: tip for victimised muslim women who have the ambition to become more than a toilet bowl: have a closer look what the man does to these vegetables with a knife, and practice, practice, practice ...

:P

It doesn't get much more hystertically funny that this!

Geez! I guess that says something about the cleric's genitalia. Small penis complex = women should avoid cucumbers, bananas, carrots, etc...

My grandson would be heart broken. He loves cucumbers and eats the whole thing, skin and all. Little did he know that it was a sexual thing, he just likes cucumbers. This would be comical if it weren't so serious. Muslims will have to ban half of the world (which they are willing to do) if they ban the cucumber. How in the world can they live like this? Whenever I each cucumbers in my salad I don't have sexual thoughts, at least until now, how will I ever be able to live a western life now?

"Lorena Bobbitt prepares lunch".

Classic.

Not to mention the greatest phallic symbols of all, the late, great Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre.

After reading this and getting on with my morning....
I smoked a cigarette (probably the same size as the cleric), took a shower and shaved my legs... noticing the handle of my razor (also probably the same size as the cleric), the shaving cream can (much larger and more satisfying than the cleric), then later I used my hairspray (also much larger and more satisfying than the cleric).

After that, my children got up and needed bottles. Whew! I don't know HOW I managed to make 2 bottles without using them sexually. such a nice shape and size, they are! I've packed my daughter's lunch with a string cheese (no doubt same size and firmness as the cleric) and when I drive her to school my hand will touch my gear shift which we all know is a very sexual item. (actually, I drive a BMW so it does turn me on a little bit) Maybe this is why women can't drive.... gear shifts?

I just don't even know anymore. They say that women are deficient in intelligence. If there isn't a massive exodous from islam by women anywhere near this cleric, I will have to agree that they are in fact deficient.

On the bright side, maybe they'll issue a fatwa on bottles and their nasty terrorists-to-be children will starve to death because they can't feed them and "allah" knows that the men won't do it. find the silver lining here folks!

Apparently burkha clad Saudi women have their chauffeurs drive around and flashing their cell phones on the guys they like, and then meeting them secretly in the sands for camel rides.

I think taht the World Trade Organization has to stepp in to protect bananas and cucumbers from being discriminated against and preventing free trade in those fruts and vegetables.

What is next? Chastity belts with key being kept by a father or brother? Or banning pencils, or other penis-resembling (in the minds of those dirty mullahs) rods ;-)? How about guns and grenades? Or screwdrivers handles?

Would you care to guess his size ;-)? Or his "purity", as the founder of Muslim Brotherhood and Fort Hood psychiatrist, who could not find a woman sufficient devote Muslims for their penises ;-)! Of Christmas bomber from Nigeria who dreamt about getting married ;-)?

Sex and Islam, a bad combination if you are poor, since the rich guys get all the girls (literally, since their role model, Muhamed, married his wife when she was 6 and he was 51). Recently, in "democratically" run by Hamas Gaza, Hamas staged a mass marriage of adult men with 5-6 years old girls.

So is Islam and oil (not for the cucumber salad but for driving your car), since it provides money for such medieval evil guys who need to be sent to the sands of history.

Very true. The Twin Towers were symbols of America's astonishing economic virility. In destroying them on 9/11 Al Qaida was trying to castrate America.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”

So what are the sheikhs thoughts on the minarets that surround many a mosque? Do they also inspire moslem women to think of sex? When moslem women look upon minarets and start having those sexual thoughts does that lead to thoughts of adultery, because no husband could possibly live up to the fantasy a minaret would inspire? Do minarets also inspire men to thoughts of sex? Does that lead to homoerotic fantasies among moslem men and then to homosexual acts? If a cucumber can inspire sexual thoughts how much greater must the fantasy inspired by a minaret that dominates the sky line be? That must be what the sheikh believes.

And what about those domes that cover the mosques? Are they not very much like the breast of a gigantic woman who is lieing on her back? Is this why moslem men so love their mosques? Is there a mother fantasy going on deep in the subconcious of devout moslem men? Do they inspire moslem women to thoughts of women lieing on their backs and so to thoughts of hot lesbian sex? Is that what the sheikh thinks mosques do?

The sheikh must want to destroy the minarets and collapse the domes,no? He is guilty of secretly, in his heart of hearts,wanting to destroy mosques.

I could be wrong about that. But if I am the only other conclusion I can come to from his cucumber argument is that the sheikh has thoughts of illicit sex whenever he looks upon a mosque. Or a cucumber.Thoughts of illicit deviant sex come from satan, not God.

So the sheikh believes that mosques are of satan. Or satan enters his mind whenever the sheikh looks upon a mosque.Or the sheikh wants to topple minarets and colapse their domes. Dosen't this make the sheikh a servant of satan?

Well, thats all for him then. The sheikh is a abomination and a servant of satan who has insulted islam and the mosque.

The sheihks stoneing will commence around noon on friday. Plenty of time to go to the mosque and early enough that you won't miss the start of the afternoon football game. Those of you who refuse to join in must be the same sort of homosexual lesbian-loving mother-fantasizing mosque-hating islam-insulting infidel perverts as the sheikh, and so you risk the same sentence of stoneing unless you prove otherwise. Throw a stone or be stoned yourself.

Thats my fatwah and I'm sticking to it.

Makes about as much sense as anything I've read from these self righteous holier-then-thou islamic religious authorities.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.
.....................................

"Between them and God"!

Islam really is morally retarded. Blowing up innocent women and children? Completely Halal—in fact, praiseworthy!

Purchasing healthy vegetables for your family? *Fraught* with moral dilemmas...

By the way, I purchased both cucumbers *and* carrots at the market yesterday for a salad—and bought zucchini and bananas within the past week, as well. Now I feel like such a bad girl!

Here's the perfect picture for this article—from the comedy "Animal House":

http://cltampa.com/imager/cucumber-scene-verna-bloom-animal-house/b/original/2269045/137c/cucumber-scene-verna-bloom-animal-house.JPG

An enterprising student, the dean's bored wife, and the cucumbers in the produce aisle down at the local supermarket...

By the way, this insanity is nothing new. From 2008:

"Cucumbers broke Al-Qaeda's power in Iraq!"

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa'eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.

They include a ban on women buying suggestively-shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar...

"They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men."

http://www.jihadwatch.org/2008/08/cucumbers-broke-al-qaedas-power-in-iraq.html

Even Iraqis found this stupid—but now *Europeans* are supposed to swallow this insanity (rude pun intended)...

So if we flood Saudi markets with cucumbers - that would mean the end of Islam? Or just Islamic marriages?

This is just getting ridiculous now, what is happening when the world does nothing about these insane mullahs!
The leaders of the West must fight back against this, I`m sure the public would be supportive!
Something must be done!

A chastidy belt that has father, uncle or brother as its guardian of the key might not be an enlightened choice.

As a grower of large marrows, am I a target for suicide bombers ? And the idle of Muslim ladies ?

Where do these sick clerics come from? If I didn't think these guys were serious I'd let this all go. But I think they really do take this sexual sickness seriously. As though Muslim women can't control themselves or their sex drive.

If this wasn't so seriously sick, I'd think it was some kind of a comedy hour joke. If I were a Muslim women I'd be really really up-set about now. I wouldn't dare say leave Islam because then you'd get killed for being an apostate. When Islam says submit they mean submit don't they?

If a non-Muslim drew a cartoon about this half of Islam would be calling for his head. But it was a cleric so everything is fine.

This was proven to be a complete fabrication.

http://www.loonwatch.com/2011/12/tam-cucumber-%E2%80%9Cfatwa%E2%80%9D-seems-to-be-only-shoddy-reporting/

You people are ridiculous if you believe this tripe.

Leave a comment

NOTE: The Comments section is provided in the interests of free speech only. It is mostly unmoderated, but comments that are off topic, offensive, slanderous, or otherwise annoying stand a chance of being deleted. The fact that any comment remains on the site IN NO WAY constitutes an endorsement by Jihad Watch, or by Robert Spencer or any other Jihad Watch writer, of any view expressed, fact alleged, or link provided in that comment.







Not Peace But A Sword by Robert SpencerDid Muhammad Exist? The Muslim Brotherhood in America, by Robert SpencerIslamophobia: Thoughtcrime of the Totalitarian FutureMuslim Persecution of Christians, by Robert Spencer Obama and IslamThe Ground Zero Mosque: Second Wave of the 9/11 Attacks
The Complete Infidel’s Guide to the Koran


Stealth Jihad


The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam


The Truth About Muhammad


What they’re saying about Robert Spencer
“My comrade-in-arms, my pal, my buddy.”
Oriana Fallaci

“Robert Spencer incarnates intellectual courage when, all over the world, governments, intellectuals, churches, universities and media crawl under a hegemonic Universal Caliphate’s New Order. His achievement in the battle for the survival of free speech and dignity of man will remain as a fundamental monument to the love of, and the self-sacrifice for, liberty.”
Bat Ye’or

“Robert Spencer is indefatigable. He is keeping up the good fight long after many have already given up. I do not know what we would do without him. I appreciate all the intelligence and courage it takes to keep going despite the appeasement of the West.”
Ibn Warraq

“America's most informed, fearless, and compelling voice on modern jihadism.”
Andrew C. McCarthy, Senior Fellow at National Review Institute

“Robert Spencer is the leading voice of scholarship and reason in a world gone mad. If the West is to be saved, we will owe Robert Spencer an incalculable debt.”
Pamela Geller, Atlas Shrugs

"The consummate Islam critic and expert." — Bruce Bawer

“Over the years, we have become friends, and I have received his assistance on several pieces of legislation I proposed.”
Former Congressman Tom Tancredo

“Few people are capable of applying scholarship, analytical reasoning, and objectivity to their topic -- while simultaneously being readable and witty -- as can Robert Spencer.”
Raymond Ibrahim

“A national treasure...The acclaimed scholar of Islam.”
Frank Gaffney, Center for Security Policy

“I am indeed honored to call him my friend.”
Brad Thor, novelist

“A top American analyst of Islam....A serious scholar...I learn from him.”
Daniel Pipes

“A brilliant scholar and writer.”
Douglas Murray

"One of my best teachers."
Ashraf Ramelah, Voice of the Copts

“Thank God there’s at least one man with balls left in the West.”
Kathy Shaidle, Five Feet of Fury

“I read people like [Mark Steyn] and Bob Spencer and the rest of them, and I say, ‘Boortz, you’re pretending you’re an author. These people really are. They really write some entertaining, some standup stuff.’”
Neal Boortz

“Robert Spencer is the Stephen King of Jihad.”
Chris Gaubatz, Muslim Mafia

“Armed with facts and fearlessness, Spencer stands up for Western civilization.”
Michelle Malkin

“Widely read in conservative foreign policy circles.”
New York Times

“Widely read in many quarters in Washington.”
Washington Post

“A canny operative who likely has the inside track on the State Department’s Middle East affairs desk should the tea party win the White House.”
New York Magazine

“A hero of the American right.”
Karen Armstrong

"The leading anti-Islamic intellectual in the United States....The go-to Islam expert for the right wing."
Salon Magazine

“Robert Spencer is an Edward Said turned upside down.”
Stephen Suleyman Schwartz

“One of the nation's most notorious Islamophobes.”
Hamas-linked CAIR

"Geller and Spencer are probably the most important propagandizing Islamophobes in the world. These people's voices speak very loudly — not just here in the United States but overseas."
Heidi Beirach, Southern Poverty Law Center

“Satanic ignoramus.”
Khaleel Mohammed

“The Likud anti-Christ.”
Dar al-Hayat newspaper (Saudi Arabia)

“Zionist Crusader, missionary of hate, counter-Islam consultant.”
Al-Qaeda’s Adam Gadahn, “Azzam the American”



Follow me on Twitter
facebook islam
RSS feed

Monthly Archives



Donate
Jihad Watch is a 501 (c) 3 organization. Donations are tax-deductible.


Robert Spencer debates on The Quran Teaches WarVideo: Robert Spencer on CPAC Breitbart News
SIOAFreedom Defense InitiativeJihad Watch VideosAmerican Freedom Law Center
Note: Listing here does not imply endorsement of every view expressed at every linked site.

» ACT for America
» Always on Watch
» American Center for Democracy
» American Coptic Association
» American Council for Kosovo
» American Freedom Alliance
» American Freedom Law Center
» American Islamic Forum for Democracy
» American Sheepdogs
» American Thinker
» Americans Against Hate
» Americans for Legal Immigration
» Amerisrael
» Amillennialist Contra Mundum
» Annaqed
» A New Dark Age Is Dawning
» Answering Islam
» Answering Muslims
» Anti-CAIR
» Apostates of Islam
» Aramaic Broadcasting Network (ABN)
» Armies of Liberation
» Assyrian International News Agency
» Atlas Shrugs
» Atour — The State of Assyria
» Australian Islamist Monitor
» Biafra Nation
» Blazing Cat Fur
» Bosch Fawstin
» Brad Thor
» Brussels Journal
» CAIR Watch
» Campus Watch
» Caroline Glick
» Christians Under Attack
» Citizen Warrior
» Coalition for the Defense of Human Rights
» Conservative Nation News
» Copts.com
» Creeping Sharia
» Daniel Pipes
» David Horowitz Freedom Center
» The David Project
» David Thompson
» David Yerushalmi Law
» D. C. Watson
» Dearborn Underground
» DEBKAfile
» Dhimmitude.org
» Dry Bones
» Ellis Washington Report
» Europe News
» Eye On Islam
» Ezra Levant
» Faith Freedom International
» Father Zakaria
» Federale
» Five Feet of Fury
» Foundation for Democracy in Iran
» Free Congress Foundation
» The Free Copts
» Freedom Defense Initiative
» FrontPage Magazine.com
» Geert Wilders
» Genocide1915.info
» Global Research in International Affairs (GLORIA) Center
» History of Jihad
» Hizb ut-Tahrir Watch
» Honest Reporting
» Honor Killings
» Human Rights Congress for Bangladesh Minorities
» India Defence
» Infidel Blogger’s Alliance
» Infidels Are Cool
» The Intelligence Summit
» International Analyst Network
» International Free Press Society
» Internet Haganah
» The Investigative Project on Terrorism
» IOwnTheWorld.com
» IranPressNews
» Iran va Jahan
» Islam Review
» Islam Speaks
» Islam Versus Europe
» Islam Watch
» Islamic Terrorism in India
» Islamist Watch — Middle East Forum
» Israel Matzav
» JihadOnBuddhists.org
» Kejda Gjermani
» KRSI: Radio Sedaye Iran
» Liberated
» Logan's Warning
» Looking At the Left
» Mahdi Watch
» Mapping Sharia
» Mark Steyn
» Martin Kramer
» MEMRI TV
» Middle East Facts
» Middle East Quarterly
» Middle-East-Info.org
» Middle East Media Research Institute
» Middle East Review of International Affairs (MERIA)
» Militant Islam Monitor
» Morning Star
» Muhammad Tube
» The Muslim Issue
» Muslim World Today
» Myths and Facts
» National Vietnam & Gulf War Veterans Coalition
» NewsReal Blog
» No Mosques At Ground Zero
» Nonie Darwish
» Northeast Intelligence Network
» Occidental Jihadist
» One Jerusalem
» Open Speech
» Operation Give
» Operation Gratitude
» Organiser
» Orwellian Culture
» Palestinian Media Watch
» PamelaGeller.com
» Panun Kashmir
» Pedestrian Infidel
» The People's Cube
» The People of the Book
» Persecution Project
» Political Islam
» Politically Incorrect
» Politiskt Inkorrekt
» Q Society of Australia
» Radio Farda
» Radio Jihad
» RAWA: Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan
» Raymond Ibrahim
» Red Alerts
» Refugee Resettlement Watch
» Religion of Peace
» Republican Riot
» Reuters Middle East Watch
» The “Reverend” Jim Sutter
» SANE: Society of Americans for National Existence
» The Second Draft
» Shire Network News
» SITE Intelligence Group
» Small Wars Journal
» Smoke-Filled World
» The Snooper Report
» Snow Report Blog
» StandWithUs
» Steve Lackner
» The Stiletto Blog
» STOP! Honour Killings
» Sultan Knish
» Tell the Children the Truth
» Terrorism Awareness Project
» Theodore’s World
» Tom Gross Media
» Translating Jihad
» Una via per Oriana
» Undaunted
» United States Central Command
» Urban Infidel
» Walid Shoebat
» Winds of Jihad
» Women Against Shariah
» World Council for the Cedars Revolution
» Yid With Lid
» Z Street
» Zilla of the Resistance
» Zionist Conspiracy
Crucified Again by Raymond IbrahimDavid LittmanOriana Fallaci Thousands of Deadly Terror Attacks Since 9/11The incredible Reza Aslan automated insult generator! iGoogle Gadget
Site Meter