Sorry, pal: the Qur'an only guarantees Paradise to those who "kill and are killed" for Allah (9:111).
"Suicide Bombing in North Mali," by Krista Larson and Baba Ahmed for the Associated Press, February 8 (thanks to Lookmann):
A suicide bomber hit a checkpoint in northern Mali on Friday, killing only himself in the first known suicide bombing since French military forces intervened in this chaotic African nation whose northern half was ruled by armed Islamic extremists....
The suicide bombing happened in the city of Gao, which was occupied by armed Islamic extremists until French-led military forces pushed them out. It was the first known suicide bombing in Mali since France started its military intervention on Jan. 11.
Malian military spokesman Modibo Traore confirmed that a suicide bomber attacked a checkpoint at the entrance to Gao around 6 a.m. on Friday. The bomber, who was wearing an explosive belt, was the only casualty. The bomber was on a motorcycle and blew himself up just before a Malian military checkpoint. Officials at a French military base in Gao declined to comment on the attack.
Friday afternoon, Malian soldiers stood guard at a building near the scene of the attack, splattered in the bomber's blood. The only other evidence of the attack were the mangled, charred remains of his bike. The Malian soldiers said that nearby villagers had taken the man's remains away and buried them before sunset, as local Muslim custom dictates.
Residents who heard the blast from their mud-walled homes on the dusty road nearby said the attack occurred just after 6 a.m.
"It shook so loudly I thought it had hit my house," resident Agali Ouedraogo said.
Fears have been high of such attacks since the discovery of industrial-strength explosives earlier this week. French troops on Thursday were amping up security and searching out Islamic extremists who may be mixing among the population in Gao. On Tuesday, extremists fired rocket launchers at French troops near Gao....