I remember a while back I had a day off and decided to sleep in. Living in an apartment, my bedroom window was right next to my neighbors front room door.

On the day in question a mormon came knocking on my neighbors door looking for converts. my neighbor was Vietnamese. The mormon was very polished, had his pitch down real good.

At the end of his pitch he asked my neigbor if he would like to learn more about Christ.

My neighbor said "But Im a Buhhdist".

The poor mormon guy was caught totally flat footed. He hadnt thought of that response.

"Well, good then. You have a good day I guess"

Was funny as hell. My suggestion is to reply to the jerk writing you this is "But... Im not a jew. I belong to a druidic wiccan circle of faith healers"

Of course he would probably acusse you of being a druid jew.

Posted by: Boogey_Man at July 28, 2005 8:45 PM

How on earth do these maroons find this site, anyway?? By typing "jihad" into some search engine??

Posted by: kafira at July 28, 2005 9:06 PM

Back in Iraq, a Christian friend of mine had a private joke on the expense of Muslim bigotry with an officer who knew Arabic. Every time he comes over to visit us in the hooch, he would great him with “Ya Yahoodi” or “you Jew” in Arabic. Also, we routinely called each other infidels for chuckles… Anything to liven up the mood in 120 degree weather between mortar attacks.

Of Course, Muslims when they want to either praise someone for shrewdness or more likely to denounce their deceit and stinginess they call him a Jew. Take it in any context you wish… For me it is a badge of honor.

Posted by: have_mercy at July 28, 2005 9:10 PM

islam means peace and the real muslim is the one who loves peace.
remenber you evil zionist terrorist, not all of us are stupid, we know that muhammed came with the truth from the one true creator and you jewish racist...
I wonder if the writer ever thinks about how ironic his statements are? Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Posted by: Carolyn2 at July 28, 2005 9:24 PM

Boogey Man:

"My suggestion is to reply to the jerk writing you this is "But... Im not a jew. I belong to a druidic wiccan circle of faith healers"

Actually, Muslims have routinely executed pagans and witches. Saudi Arabia continues to behead witches (as well as other categories they deem fit for capital punishment) on Fridays in front of mosque after prayers.

Posted by: metaxy at July 28, 2005 9:35 PM

Boogey_Man,

Good story and damn funny. I had a similar experience with my neighbor who had his door knocked on by a pair of well dressed Jehovah's Witnesses.

I overheard him say, "I worship Odin and wish to enter the Halls of Valhalla with a sword in my hand."

Needless to say, the Witnesses were speechless and promptly left.

Posted by: Skeet Street at July 28, 2005 10:00 PM

"trying to make muslims and christians fight each other...
-- from the Muslim missive quoted above

But hasn't this primitive forgotten the very words of the Qur'an: "Do not take Christians and Jews as friends, for they are friends only with each other." Does he not realize that he is not allowed to offer real friendship to Christians, as he must not to any non-Muslim, though he is allowed, according to Islamic teachings, to feign such friendship if by so doing, he will further the cause of Islam and the position of Muslims -- then it's just fine.

As far as trying "to make muslims and christians fight each other," what is it that causes Muslims to massacre Christians in the southern Sudan, or before and during the Biafra war, when Col. Ojukwu himself described the "jihad" that had been waged against the Christian Ibo? What is it that causes Muslims in Pakistan to bomb churches, Christian schools and hospitals? What causes Muslims to kidnap Coptic women, to murder Coptic priests, to kill Coptic villagers in Upper Egypt? What is it that causes Muslims in Indonesia to murder 200,000 Christians in East Timor, or Christians in the Moluccas? What is it that causes Muslims, in any place where Muslims wield power, to murder Christians -- or for that matter, to murder or persecute all other non-Muslims, including Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Confucians. Oh, yes, I almost forgot -- and of course those Jews who, in the worldview of the man above, must be behind everything, must explain everything, even the fact of Muslims merely following, as good Muslims, the tenets laid out in the Qur'an, and the example of Muhammad, uswa hasana, al-insan al-kamil.

What a bad Muslim this Muslim must be, if he thinks that it is only through the influece of Jews that Muslims fight with Christians. No, no, no -- they are supposed to fight with Christians and conquer them and lay them low, wherever they can. Has he forgotten his Islam? Dear me.

Posted by: Hugh at July 28, 2005 10:09 PM

WOW...

Hey can i be a jew too

In the Bible it states that in the end times Men will search out a jew for a friend.

I would love to be called a Jew as it implies you are one of Gods people.

I notice that the Islamist language was so Piecful
Ohh sorry pieces opps.. keep getting it mixedup
Peaceful thats it...

Man i am sure glad that fatwa is working..
Imaging what muslims would think of us without that fatwa ..

Posted by: jingoist at July 28, 2005 10:34 PM

Islam means peace???? I thought it meant submission??? Submission to the men to blow yourself up and kill as many infidels as possible, submit to screwing your head into the dirt 5 times a day - in the vain hope that your filthy deeds somehow compare to God's glory, and as such you will self qualify to get into heaven (unless of course your bad deeds outweigh the good, or you go one way to heaven by being a Jihadi).

Islam means peace??? Yea that's why every single Muslim country is a hole, a pit of darkness that is devoid of invention, entrepreneurship etc. Islam is submitting to 7th Century Arabia.

Posted by: 3rdtimelucky at July 28, 2005 10:39 PM

"I thought it meant submission???" Yes No doubt.

"Aslem Tasslem" or Surrender [to Allah and us of course] and be safe is the offer that Muslim Commanders used to send to Chritain leaders before Jihad.

Posted by: have_mercy at July 28, 2005 11:15 PM

Someone needs to invent a very large circular wrench for such mistaken Muslim fellows to screw their heads on a little tighter.

(Made of pig iron, of course.)

Posted by: BigSleep at July 29, 2005 1:46 AM

Islam means 'peace'? Already been there and done that one...Islamics distort all kinds of words and meanings to suit an agenda. Peace means conversion, dhimmitude or death. In peace you continue to pay taxes...except the dead part. No one has yet figured out how collect taxes from a dead man..The dead pay no taxes...now thats a tough way to get tax relief. Dying may also bring 'peace', but I prefer mine alive.
Wait till muslims start doing door to door missionarys in the US. Knock, Knock: "Hello, My name is Mohammad Mohammad, and this is my brother Mohammad, and my other brother Mohammad Mohammad". "We are here on a mission from Allah, to explain to you the glories of Allah and Islam, how we are a religion of peace, and why we love death. Just let us in, and give us one hour of your undivided attention, and we will convince you to love death as well". " Or, you could just give us a few dollars a week and the missionaries will leave you alone"...

Posted by: duh_swami at July 29, 2005 8:25 AM

3X and Swami:

You've both been around long enough to know that Islamic peace is the peace of total submission or the grave. To the rest of the world, it's the Spinozian concept for not just an absence of hostilities, but rather a state of being under which people live free of fear and repression.

Silly us.

Posted by: waterdragon52 at July 29, 2005 8:37 AM

WD52...I always thought peace was when people believed everything I said, bowed in homage, and gave me lots of money...seems like only Ayatollahs, Hollywood celebrities and sports stars get that kind of peace. Look what it did for Michael Moore...doesn't he look peaceful now?
A few politicians achieve that bliss level...US Senator Barbara Boxer is one...she is blissed out most of the time. I can hardly wait for real peace to bless me...I know Islam cant do it, so I have to look for other role models like Moore and Boxer...How to be really blissed out and still make it to the bank by 9am...

Posted by: duh_swami at July 29, 2005 9:29 AM

Swami:

If you or I were to be as well paid as Ms. Boxter or achieve as much fame and wealth as Moore despite being extremely stupid and venal, we'd be pretty happy campers too.

Posted by: waterdragon52 at July 29, 2005 9:48 AM

I had a friend who answered the Mormons with, "But I'm Muslim".

Well, Mr. Spencer, didn't you say somewhere you're of ME Christian heritage? How do you know you don't descend from some of those Jews in 1st century Antioch who were waiting for the Messiah and took the bait when Peter preached to them?

But I do get the tiresome point your interlocutor was trying to make. Aaargh.

The Messianic Jew

Kepha

Posted by: Kepha at July 29, 2005 10:43 AM

Islam has made jews of all of us now.

Posted by: texan at July 30, 2005 1:37 AM

Texan, hitting nail on head:

Islam has made jews of all of us now.

Major ditto. I've been thinking seriously the last few weeks
of identifying myself as Jewish. It's one small way of
showing support, and confronting complacency.

Observing my own fear that has caused me to hesitate
has helped me sense the worries that real Jews must carry
24/7. Let's broaden the target, and reduce the burden.

From today, I'm Jewish at heart to God, and to my fellow
man, plain Jewish.

Sincerely, Isshi.

Posted by: Isshi at July 30, 2005 2:50 PM