OMG!
WTF!
Is paypal secure?

Posted by: voletti at February 20, 2006 8:03 PM

Where are the Infidel hackers, enrolled for the duration? In American movies about World War II made after the war was over, it was de rigueur to have a squadron that contained at least one Irish-American, one Jewish-American, one Italiam-American. Donald O'Connor might have played the first (Mickey Rooney was too short), Sal Mineo could play either of the last two roles, and Paul Newman could do whichever role Sal Mineo didn't take. The sergeant could be a lovable Johnny Reb, played by the likes of Slim Pickens. And the captain, my captain, Captain Ames or Captain Morgan or Captain Fayerweather, would be played by Gary Coooper or Gregory Peck.

Now it is time for a different war. And in this one, the Western hackers will be more varied. Yes, the American team will have at least one each of Russian Jews, Chinese, and Hindus, all of them with their own grudges and feelings that is payback-time. But there will also be an Arabic-speaking Christian, who knows all the dialects -- Lebanese and Egyptian and Iraqi and Gulf Arabic, and of course classical Arabidc as well. And there will be a Frenchman, and a Dane, both of them playing for keeps, attempting to save their own countries from going under. There will be an Englishman, played by someone who, though he has spent his life foolishly so far, has now turned serious, though every so often he plays the society fool -- Hugh Grant as Leslie Howard in "The Scarlet Pimpernel." Or possibly a plumb-tuckered-out Harrison Ford. Roles are reserved for Bob Hoskins and of course John Malkovich. Malkovich may wish to play a former Muslim (possibly from the Balkans, who has seen his community destroyed by Arabs who have taken over), of outwardly sinister aspect, but in fact the goodhearted, relentless, chameleontic mastermind.

No car chases. No running up and down rooftops or to the top floor of strangely endless warehouses. No obvious James-Bond stuff. But there will be lots of time at the keyboard, and of course there will be walks in museums (yes, the museums of Europe), and every person on the anti-Jihad side will have a different, but very deep reason, for resisting Islamic aggression. And along the way all kinds of points can be made for the Infidel audience, about Islam and art, Islam and science, Islam and free inquiry, Islam and through Da'wa anthere won't be a dull minute, as havoc is wreaked on the enemy trying to wreak havoc -- and worse -- on us.

This idea is now copyrighted for Screen Writers Guild purposes.

Hollywood, call me.

Posted by: Hugh at February 20, 2006 8:29 PM

Hugh-

You'll have to at least throw in some (1930's Robert Donat version) "The Thiry-Nine Steps" chase stuff or La-La Land can't fathom it.

And you'll have to change the enemy from anything remotely Islamic to a cabal of Southern American neo-Nazis and ex-Soviet Russian mafia members who have no religious or political motives.

And you'll need a hot programmer geek girl in a tank top who keeps a live ostrich egg in an incubator on her desk (symbolism, you know).

And maybe open with a teeny little car chase. Say ten cop cars crashing into a schoolbus as an armored car carrying a suitcases full of rare new super-microchips is hijacked, and all plunge off the Golden Gate Bridge, landing on top of an aircraft carrier entering the Bay, sinking the ship. But the criminals fly out the back door of the armored car, with motorized para-sails, and glide into Sausalito with the stolen case of chips, while the carnage explodes behind them.

They order two espressos and smile.

And end with the neo-Nazis being stopped by a pair of patriotic Muslim computer enginnering students from Saudi Arabia who have over-stayed their visas, but who use their knowledge of the Koran to break the terrorist's secret Aryan code, so the President grants them full citizenship as thanks for saving America.

Otherwise, Hollywood wouldn't change a thing.

Be prepared!

Best of luck!

Posted by: profitsbeard at February 20, 2006 9:31 PM

But I wasn't going to approach Spielberg.

Posted by: Hugh at February 20, 2006 9:43 PM

Ok, may be I am just ignorant and not up to date with your superb way of thinking. You claim that protesting against the cartoons is "supressing" freedom of speech while I cannot publically deny the Holocaust in Europe without going to jail for it.

Please help me find where i went wrong.

Thank You.

Posted by: hated one at February 21, 2006 12:50 AM

hated one-

A silly law that Eurpoeans came up with after millions died to fuel a madman's cult.

While I have always thought that, after what the Nazis did from 1933 to 1945, they should be simply shot if they appeared again- because we all know goddamned well what they want- I think that laws to imprison people (for 3 years, I think it is in Austria) for denying the well-documented facts of German-run death camps and their tyranny's systematic attempt at the extermination of specific peoples in Europe- including homosexuals, Gypsies, Russian P.O.W.'s, political opponents of Hitler, communists, dissidents (religious and philosophical), trade unionists, and, oh yes, the Jews... well, I feel that these laws are just too mild.

I think people who insult the intelligence so thoroughly need to be shot as well.

Because we know what they want.

A return of the Nazi ideology: race hatred, delusional pseudo-scientific idiocy, and a suicidal militarism -led by a despotic 'strongman' leader- who inevitably leads your country over the cliff of oblivion through his arrogant blindness to the basic reality of this world.

That reality being: that decency and compassion are a far better foundation for Civilization than hatred, murderous resentment and egomaniacal self-inflation.

And one that also understands: fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, and you get a cap busted on your sorry ass.

Read "The Scourge of the Swastika", "Story of a Secret State", "From Death Camp to Existentialism", "The Theory and Practice of Hell" and "The Diary of a Young Girl"- by Anne Frank.

Denying the Holocaust proves that you have exited sanity, and may turn homicidal. Best to treat this condition like a hydrophobic dog (since that's what the Nazis mutated into with this same diseased theory) and best to euthanize any sufferers.

Before they start to bite. Again.

Posted by: profitsbeard at February 21, 2006 1:26 AM

The internet is the wild, wild west!Virus protection,firewalls and constant security updates are a must.Most of the trouble comes from ignorant people,who spread viruses around like the flu in December.

Posted by: McSeamus at February 21, 2006 2:17 AM

If you really want your eyes opened...google "Botnet".

Posted by: McSeamus at February 21, 2006 2:21 AM