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Yes, he is here. In fact, he lives next door to me here in Secure Undisclosed Locationville -- proving once again the wisdom of Robert Frost's adage, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Conspiracy Lunacy Alert from Dubai, from the Gulf News, with thanks to all who sent this in:
In the Gulf News online survey done on May 7, 30 per cent of the responders said Pakistan was the terrorist's likely hiding place. Only 12 per cent said Afghanistan, while 51 per cent said it was the United States.To double check whether people on the streets are equally paranoid and think on the same lines, Gulf News caught some unwary shoppers and asked them the question. While some people said they would rather not comment on the subject, a large number also believe he is in the United States, as according to them, Bin Laden was once "created" by America.
A Dubai resident said people think he is in the United States, "because he was working for them before", said Daniella Paderi. "And now he has gone back home." The expatriate said catching Osama was not important. "There are more important things to worry about, as the war in Iraq," she said.
Hassan Ali, an Egyptian expatriate in Abu Dhabi, said Bin Laden was most probably in Texas (home of US President George Bush). "That's where he is running his family business now," he said. "All the media fuss is make-believe. He probably has coffee daily with American officials."
Khalid Ahmad in Abu Dhabi also believes Bin Laden is in America. "I am sure they already know where he is," he said. The response changes when an European or a non-Arab expatriate is asked the same question....
Andy Sheekey said people thought Bin Laden was in the United States because of paranoia. He also felt it was because of a "complete lack of trust in the judicial system. Cracking down on poverty is probably the major thing that needs to be done (rather than hunting him down)". Asked where in the United States would the terrorist likely be, he said "Washington"....
Yasmin Ali, an American, felt Bin Laden was in Pakistan because reports say so. "If he was in the United States, he would be somewhere in the backwaters. People probably wish he was in the United States."...
Posted by Robert at May 13, 2006 1:41 PM
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I have it on good authority that he is living in Londonistan, claiming benefits and is employing Jack Straw as his personal butler.
Posted by: Celsius![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.jihadwatch.org/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 13, 2006 1:53 PM
I live here in Dubai.
Am i suprised by these lunatics?
No.
I meet them every day.
HERE IS A LINK YOU MUST CHECK OUT ABOUT ISLAM:
http://www.utahkrishnas.com/main/page.asp?id=583
Posted by: CHINUBHAI at May 13, 2006 1:57 PM
THIS ONE TOO:
http://www.utahkrishnas.com/main/page.asp?id=570
Posted by: CHINUBHAI at May 13, 2006 1:59 PM
Nononono:
He is a cowboy on Brokeback mountain, take my word for it, I wouldn't lie to you....!
In fact I saw him just a few days ago! I swear by the undies of my great grandmother...
Posted by: sheik yer'mami at May 13, 2006 2:14 PM
If Bin Laden works for the US, why don't the Muslims denounce him and urge all Muslims NOT to participate in any murder/terror plots, because they could be simply being used by the nefarious US Government?
If Bin Laden works for the Great Satan, why would any Muslim listen to what he says about Islam? In fact, what he says is most probably a lie, because he speaks in service to the Big Dark One.
I know, asking for rationality among this crowd is hopeless, but the questions should still be asked.
Posted by: Jabba the Tutt at May 13, 2006 2:22 PM
Texican -- do your sources concur with this information? Has anyone thought to investigate other more obvious places where he could be living now -- like on the moon.
Posted by: champ at May 13, 2006 2:31 PM
***NEWS FLASH***
Check out Fox News!
They're covering the "Lone Star Grand Prix" in Houston, Texas, and I could swear that I saw a poorly-manufactured-bomb attached to car #22; maybe Bin Laden is behind the wheel? You can't miss his vehicle, because it's in last place. Hey -- it could happen!
Posted by: champ at May 13, 2006 2:43 PM
Osama is probably an adjunct professor of Middle Eastern studies at Berkeley, Yale or George Washington University. Disguised and under a false name, of course.
On the other hand, Elvis is probably hiding somewhere on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.
at May 13, 2006 2:48 PM
Conspiracy theorists exist all over. The credulous can be found in every country and county. Rumors fly in all weathers. Nonetheless, the rumors that are clearly crazy, and yet are believed, the conspiracy theories that are clearly fantastic, and yet are believed, have their widest audiences, so much so that they have become not the exception but the rule, in all Muslim lands.
Why? Surely it is because Islam itself does nothing to encourage, and everything to discourage (see under "Death") free and sketpicla inquiry. Islam cannot stand that. Unlike other belief-systems that we call "religions," Islam cannot bear historical or other analysis. The figure of Muhammad, who is both held up as the Perfect Man and Model, uswa hasana, al-insan al-kamil, and yet clearly committed many acts, and exprssed many views, and approved of, or encouraged many things (the kilings of Abu Akaf and Asma bint Marwan; the decapitation of the prisoners of the Banu Qurayza, the attack on the innocent farmers of the Khaybar Oasis) that no non-Muslims could possibly describe as admirable or worthy of emuliation.
To enter the world of Islam, a world from which one is not permitted to exit (save in the Lands of the Infidels, where one has some degree of protection). It is to enter a world where the craziest rumors and wildest conspiracy theories will have a very large audience, and only a few, people who will have to be of superior intellect, will see things as they are.
It is no accident that rumor-and-conspiracy are the rule in all Arab and Muslim polities. It connects directly to the nature of Islam as a belief-system unwilling to be studied, unwilling to be questioned, unwilling to even allow for the notion that Islam could conceivably be criticized.
For more than a thousand years, the world's Muslims have paid for this. No doubt there were people born into Islam who might have made their mark -- but who in Islam has made his mark in the past thousand years? What tens of thousands to match the numbers in the Western world?
Nothing will come of nothing. And nothing has.
Posted by: Hugh at May 13, 2006 2:50 PM
I just saw him down at the 7-11 where he kindly directed me to the slurpee machine while Elvis rang up my order.
Posted by: Canadian Infidel at May 13, 2006 3:21 PM
Given Bin Laden's belligerent tones about The Sudan on his last tape threatening all out war on the west if foreign troops go into The Sudan I would hazard a guess that he is in that part of the world, he is the last person who wants to see a column of US or UK troops near his mud hut. Tell me, who thinks that evil as he is Bin Laden would be stupid enough to hang around in Afghanistan after 9-11? He has probably been in Khartoum or even in the vicinity of Mogadishu in Somalia since then. The recent unrest by Islamic spear chuckers this last week is coordinated and the jihadis concerned have links with Al Qaeda. I would say he is either in Somalia or The Sudan.
Posted by: IceDragon at May 13, 2006 4:15 PM
Apparently after 911 Bin Laden has been signing his name, "Assama bin Muhammad bin Laden". The Hadith teaches that al Mahdi will be recognized by the fact that he carries the name of Muhammad. Could bin Laden be al Mahdi? Time will tell!
Has anyone else heard about this name change?
Posted by: champ at May 13, 2006 4:30 PM
And we wanted these nutcases from Dubai to run our ports? I guess that's what you get if all you follow is Al-Jezeer.
WC
Posted by: Thomas Paine at May 13, 2006 4:54 PM
funny some think sadr will lay claim as the hidden imam..will they fight a duel?..lol
Posted by: storagemanager at May 13, 2006 5:50 PM
Steven L., I don't think OBL is an adjunct professor of ME Studies. From what I've seen of academe, I'd say he's either a Distinguished Professor (double pay and reduced course load) or Director of the Peace Studies Interdisciplinary Institute.
Posted by: Columba at May 13, 2006 8:03 PM
I'm sure I saw Bin Laden in NYC, over Easter. He had shaved his beard and was pretending to be Mario Cuomo to get a discount from a street vendor on a koscher frank with sauerkraut.
(Oh course, I think that Mickey Rooney is actually Bill Clinton's biological father.)
Posted by: profitsbeard at May 13, 2006 9:37 PM
It is because of these biases that the American people do not want our ports, or any other infrastructure for that matter, to be in control of the people of U.A.E.
Posted by: Kay at May 14, 2006 12:41 AM
Osama has probably gone into another well and is probably reading the Hadith to the Mahdi, who's reading him back the Sira.
Posted by: Infidel Pride at May 14, 2006 2:40 AM
The actuality, is that OBL is in pakistan. The U.S. has the effect of lulling its citizens into a dream, an escape from the everyday, and even the complete morphizing of its population. I know. The U.S. and the G. Britain have that security to dull populations to the extent that they would say that obl is an American product. They just don't read books, all right all right, maybe I read too many, but, if you asked the population of any other English speaking country, you will get the answer that I wrote in my first line of this post. I Love America, but THIS attitude of Americans is not going to win this war.
Posted by: arjun.sevak at May 14, 2006 5:03 AM
Osama Bin Laden is in Oldham! I was driving near Glodwick when I saw this old man with a beard and a scowl, then I saw another one, then lo and behold! There were dozens of grubby old men with long beards and scowls! Perfect place for OBL to merge!
Posted by: IceDragon at May 14, 2006 5:13 AM
Arjun.Sevak, you are right, but perhaps you need to just need to lighten up a little. We Americans often handle the insane with humor, lest we become the insane; I think the Brits may be guilty of this as well. I fight and worry for my children's survival perhaps MORE than the next guy. But, I can only fret so much, before feeling compelled to just blow off some steam and have a laugh in the face of death.
That said, I believe that Usama bin-Laden is in the U.S. and has been now for quite some time. I believe he is posing as NBA basketball star Scottie Pippen, of Chicago Bulls fame, now an assistant coach for the L.A. Lakers.
Usama Pippen-Laden?
I've always thought that the resemblance is uncanny!
Okay, I'll be serious now. Back to work.
Posted by: Knight4AO at May 15, 2006 2:59 PM
Robert,
For once, we get to have a little fun and you prematurely archive this one.
Work, work, work.
Posted by: Knight4AO at May 16, 2006 8:15 AM
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