I was a fan of all things islam until I read your book of spells. My love of islam knew no bounds, the words of the prophet swam in my head night and day, visions of burka clad babes and burning cars filled my mind and heart. I dreamed of exploding toys hidden to attract children. Your spell casting cost me my love of islam and turned me into an armed islamaphopic muslim basher and worse an shameless internet addict or in today’s terms a blogger. My shame has cost me a career as a child murdering jihadi, your black magic is a powerful force for the infidel world. (Sarcasim off)

They would not whine if you were not making an impact, keep up the good work.

Posted by: Ronin at October 31, 2006 8:08 PM

Mr Spenser, this is an answer from AskImam.com concerning a question about black magic. The questioner was concerned that someone had cast a spell and sent a jinn to torment him. You should send this answer to your "prominent moderate Muslim apologist"

Answer from Imraan Vawda:

"Contact a reliable Aamil (a person who treats black magic), and follow his prescription. If you are not sure about the person, enquire from your local Ulama. Continue to make fervent Dua, for cure actually comes from Allah Ta’ala. These are only means that we adopt. And be patient, for Allah Ta’ala is with the patient ones."

Robert, you obviously have the power.

Posted by: Pelayo at October 31, 2006 8:09 PM

"And tonight I discovered that my Zionist powers of conjuration are even more powerful than that. I was relaxing with an adult beverage and a good book: non-Muslim Islamic apologist Karen Armstrong's new apologetic, Muhammad: A Prophet for Our Time. And lo and behold, on pages 167 and 168, there it was: the story of Muhammad's marriage to his daughter-in-law, Zaynab! Armstrong even acknowledges that "this story has shocked some of Muhammad's Western critics who are used to more ascetic, Christian heroes, but the Muslim sources seem to find nothing untoward in this demonstration of their Prophet's virility.""

Mr. Spencer, Muhammad IS a prophet for our time: ours is an age that would rather loot and redistribute than produce, and one that prefers lying to truth. Of course, where Muhammad will be in fifty years is completely another matter.

Posted by: Kepha at October 31, 2006 8:13 PM

Just in case, I don't make this stuff up.

http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=13143

Posted by: Pelayo at October 31, 2006 8:13 PM

Sorry for the OT.. but with the "election" looming here's one more example of politicians using our security for their benefit. [see below the description of Mr. Santorum's [R] campaign. ONLY since he's been behind has he started to mention islam and terrorism!! This means that he KNEW all along what they are what they do and what they want and the threat they are to us!! NOW that he can't take things of rgranted and REALLY REALLY needs votes.. here he comes now.. Like I said Repubes = Coke Dhims = Pepsi. Both are bad for you! See below! What a disgrace! Where have you been, Santa Sanatorium? And what will you DO about these things once yer in office? Campaign rhetoric and followthrough are two kettle of fish, Mr. Santa.

Santorum Focuses Campaign On Gathering Storm in

WASHINGTON — In an election season in which the Republican Party's leaders and pollsters are advising GOP candidates to emphasize the economy and avoid the Iraq war and national security, Pennsylvania's junior senator prefers to address hometown crowds by invoking the nearly unpronounceable name of the Iranian president.

When Senator Santorum is on the stump, he delivers "The Gathering Storm," a speech named after the first volume of Winston Churchill's history of World War II. In the speech, he lists recent threats and atrocities perpetrated by Islamist terrorists and orchestrated by Iran. He follows each threat and atrocity with the refrain, "This is evil."

Posted by: germaninamerica at October 31, 2006 8:16 PM

Well if a Muslim apologist, who undoubtedly is well familiar with the Koran, does not recognize the source of this story, and therefore its truth, then its even worse than you admit, Robert. You seem to have the power to selectively control the contents of the Koran itself - nothing less than the literal word of God himself!

Even Allah himself is not safe from you! You are a dangerous man indeed!

Posted by: templar at October 31, 2006 8:25 PM

Oh, Master of the Occult and the Dark Arts, minister of the sinister spirits and jinns, this humble writer begs you to bless her with your powerful mumbo jumbo. Thanks for the best laugh I've had today!

And by the way, greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, the one mediator between God and man. May He continue to bless you with peace and safety.

Posted by: Stand fast in the liberty at October 31, 2006 8:26 PM

And tonight I discovered that my Zionist powers of conjuration are even more powerful than that.

Hmm, for a real test maybe you should whip up the Mahdi. Maybe then I'm A Nut Job will finally behave himself!

Posted by: ISLAMSFORLOSERS at October 31, 2006 8:31 PM

Pelayo,

Hilarious! Is this guy sure the "jinn" that entered his body wasn't really "gin", hence all the physical problems and disruption of sleep?! But the Imam's remedy is a good one. I'm sure if he keeps up with the Dua eveything should come out in the end. Ha Ha!

Posted by: Isabellathecrusader at October 31, 2006 8:31 PM

Pelayo...

I had lots of laughs after viewing your link. You can't make this stuff up. How appropriate seeing as how this is Halloween.

Robert...

You should be 'ashamed'. All that power to be put to use...you're all dressed up with no place to go.

I prescribe another adult beverage. Better yet, make it a double.

Posted by: SCV at October 31, 2006 8:31 PM

Wow, I just realized why there are no Muslims in Haiti.

Posted by: Pelayo at October 31, 2006 8:46 PM

Robert, your powers are a bit beyond even your own control. I noticed you did a little "collatoral damage" to a Haditha nearby the one you cited. You appear to have inserted a bit of blatant philandering into an otherwise innocent-sounding anecdote about Mo:

Volume 7, Book 62, Number 92m: Narrated Anas bin Malik:

"Whenever the Prophet passed by (my mother Um-Sulaim) he used to enter her and greet her.

Posted by: Archimedes at October 31, 2006 8:48 PM

Wasn't there a Star Trek episode about this, in which Kirk and Spencer went back in time to re-write the Muslim holy books and so prevent the dangerous spread of freedom and ensure victory to the righteous ones in a future war?

Posted by: Josephine at October 31, 2006 8:48 PM

Archimedes:

Oops!

Cordially
Robert Spencer

P.S.: It's "ahadith."

Posted by: jihadwatch at October 31, 2006 8:49 PM

Robert--

Let me guess. Is it Khaleel Mohammed? The "moderate" Muslim on the lecture circuit who commands, no doubt, fat fees when he appears in synagogues where he soothes and pleases eager audiences by assuring them that the Qur'an, rightly understood, actually guarantees Israel to the Jews, when the Qur'an actually says that the Jews are under a curse, and that makes all guarantees forfeit? The one who has constructed his own private Islam, which no doubt soothes him, allowing him to remain a "Muslim" rather than a "Muslim-for-identification-purposes-only" Muslim, and certainly soothes those audiences, but as far as enlightening them, or communicating any genuine understanding of the contents of Qur'an, Hadith, and Sira, and the tenets, attitudes, and atmospherics of Islam, turns out to be a guide to nothing and to nowhere. The one who apparently needs to brush up his Qur'an and Hadith and Sira.

Is that the one?

Posted by: Hugh at October 31, 2006 8:52 PM

Why Ronin, I found your sarcasm to be an especially soothing and comforting agent.

The Balm of Ronin:

Solid preparation (usually containing sarcasm) applied externally as a remedy or for soothing an irritation.

Posted by: Malinois at October 31, 2006 9:03 PM

Balm of Hugh - that works too!

Posted by: Malinois at October 31, 2006 9:06 PM

Robert,

Excellent humor all around. Kudos to you and to the above posters, whose wit and inventiveness warm my heart with mirth this Halloween Evening.

Your "moderate" Muslim interlocutor should be put to death for blaspheming Allah's Word and the example of the Prophet (Pigs**t Be Upon Him).

Can the doctrine of taqiyya abrogage Allah's Word?

Posted by: FredIsinglass at October 31, 2006 9:21 PM

Hehehe, wit.

Happy Halloween everybody! :)

Posted by: TheVoiceofTruth at October 31, 2006 9:32 PM

Quite relaxing, quite funny.

Which makes me think that the fools for Allah are going to blow up something any minute.

Posted by: StillBreathing at October 31, 2006 9:54 PM

All Hallows Eve is the evening before before All Saints Day. It is the evening when traditional Anglican families (and Catholic and other denominations of Christianity) remember their dead (particularly, but not exclusively, the martyrs for the Faith) - with joy and by having fun - but it is not appropriate for Christians to indulge in the pagan practices associated with 'halloween'.

However, Robert's reference to his "Zionist powers of conjuration" was, none-the-less, a damn good belly laugh that we all deserve. All power on this Holy night to all at JW/DW.

Dominic.

Posted by: necessitasnonhabetlegem at October 31, 2006 10:09 PM

"I was relaxing with an adult beverage and a good book"

As far as the 'adult' beverage?

Mat 15:11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

Mar 7:15 There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man.

As for the ''good'' book?

Mat 19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.

Rev 20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

Posted by: Beth at October 31, 2006 10:45 PM

Robert,

Don’t worry much about your powers of conjuration. It’s Halloween! Those kinds of powers always work better at this time of year.

The fact that you are so prepared is like taking a gun to a knife fight. The fact that there are such good posters here make me proud to be one. As you keep speaking the truth and point out the fact that Muslims almost always follow rather predictable courses of action, time will only see your prominence rise.

I find that posters here are some of the most intelligent and sincere folks on the subject of Islam. You have opened my eyes of the problems that we are facing. Yes I said problems. These are not “issues”. The time has come for taking off the gloves and making moves that will make our future bright.

Either you or Hugh have pointed out that it is a race between us and Islam to whom can get the word out. As the public is turning more and more towards the internet, I believe that it also favors us.

As for your Black Zionist Conjuration powers, I think I would suck down a few more of those adult beverages and remember that your Islamic foes can’t enjoy them at all.

Have a very good evening.

God willing, of course.

Posted by: credit man at October 31, 2006 11:05 PM

There is a '''great conspiracy''' ....didn't you know?

It was Moses who started it. And the saints DO sing it.

Even though God does have a great sense of humor [He created it] - there is NOTHING funny about the song of Moses.

Then again - just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder and music in the hear - so is laughter of the heart.

There is a silver lining - so to speak - when it comes to laughing at the 'elite' of this world receiving every thing they fought for - and more [it's the ''''more'''' that makes it so funny]

Psa 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. {{Not a very funny spot to be in - not for humans

Posted by: Beth at October 31, 2006 11:06 PM

The unbearable lightness of Armstrong. It would take a lot of adult beverages for me to try to ingest her lighter-than-a-popcorn-fart drivel. And mahomet is a veritable Ghandi, says she? I guess they were both responsible for the murder of millions of Hindus anyway.

Posted by: Infidel33 at October 31, 2006 11:17 PM

...I-despite my declarations--am not Muslim, for I chose to identify with none of the medieval sectarian movments..I simply say that I am a Muslim.

Khaleel Mohammed from the SD Univ 'get to know your professor' website

http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/~khaleel/

I am not American, I am an American. Whatever.

Posted by: John Sobieski at October 31, 2006 11:32 PM

Ronin~
Best first post ever.

Pelayo~
Ask the Imam. Freaking hilarious.

Zionist black arts.

This has my vote for most entertaining jihadwatch thread of the year.

Posted by: s at November 1, 2006 12:04 AM

From John Sobieski's link
But as Jesus is supposed to have said: Ye shall know them by their fruits. (Matt 7.16).
Sort of a sneering quote?
Muslim fruit .....
www.thereligionofpeace.org

Posted by: Carolyn2 at November 1, 2006 12:05 AM

The "Amazing Randi" offered a million bucks to anyone who can produce evidence on demand of the paranormal. I thought of it so why don't you demonstrate your amazing occult powers and we can split the million .

Posted by: poetcomic1 at November 1, 2006 12:38 AM

The evils of Robert Spencer apparently know no bounds. Not only does he have the black Zionist art ho-daddy down, but clearly from his creation of the daughter-in-law story he is able to travel in space and time.

Amazing. But does he teach his black arts to me? Noooooo - apparently that would violate some obscure provision of the secret CIA-Mossad-Opus Dei-Lizardoid rulebook somewhere, somehow.

Hmph. Well, I'll just say that I won't be an ongoing reader of this site if he doesn't tell me how to put the sneaky whammy on 1400 years of constructed theology in one go.

...unless, of course, he uses his evil mind powers on me! Gasp!

Prophet Geoff

Posted by: Geoff at November 1, 2006 12:51 AM

Hello again.

I just wanted to refute my earlier post; I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote it. Robert Spencer is not some diabolical genius able to bend time and space, brainwashing devoted followers of islam. Raym - I mean, Robert Spencer is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

Anyone for passing the time with a little solitaire?

Geoff

Posted by: Geoff at November 1, 2006 1:07 AM

Robert,

Have a second drink and see if you can get through to George Bush, please.

Posted by: PRCS at November 1, 2006 1:38 AM

Muhammad married his daughter in law - RS

Armstrong even acknowledges that "this story has shocked some of Muhammad's Western critics who are used to more ascetic, Christian heroes, but the Muslim sources seem to find nothing untoward in this demonstration of their Prophet's virility."(*

Here is the key- the meat that has been omitted in this statement is that it is also highly probable that Mo actually raped her, perhaps only three guys saw that, hence he married her. He is a good fella, right. It is allowed to marry a sister-in-law or not in Islamic World?

Raping a woman is not a crime in the Islamic world, no surprises here. It is a crime if you rape her in the front of four men (men in Muslim world means Muslims). Hence, if they rape a non-muslim girl in the front of her whole family that doesn’t count.

Raping sister-in-law is not that uncommon in Pakistan if you care to read their news.

Posted by: MusHuntCowboy at November 1, 2006 2:03 AM

I figure it's gotta be everyone's favorite Sufi, or whatever kind of muslim (wuslim?) he is that won't kill us all, Stephen Suleyman Schwartz (good Lord I almost wrote Schwatz that can't be right can it?). He did use to write for frontpagemag until he slandered Serge Trifkovic (calling him a supporter of Milosovic, which is rich in light of SSS's picture on his website of himself praying at Izetbegovic's grave, unless the fatiha is a malediction, I'm trying to learn all this muslim stuff as our two preux chevaliers keep asking us to do but there is a limit to my patience and interest), but he's not a professor so perhaps Robert threw that in to confuse us? or to slander Schwartz?

Posted by: Marc at November 1, 2006 2:25 AM

There is only ONE thing wrong with the Muslims that there assumptions are all based on reading the Qur'an, rather than debating the content of it and coming up with a consensus view.

Posted by: MusHuntCowboy at November 1, 2006 2:50 AM

Does any one here know if Mo married his siste-in-law while the son was already married to her?

Posted by: MusHuntCowboy at November 1, 2006 2:53 AM

I would love to know what a psychiatrist would
make of these constant denials by muslims and
thier apologists when confronted by obvious
truths.
Better still , how about a profile of Blackbeard
the Bedouin himself.

Posted by: aladdinsane57 at November 1, 2006 4:22 AM

Robert, you - and this thread - are hilarious.

There's only one thing missing.

Lottery tickets.

Posted by: CGW at November 1, 2006 5:08 AM

Robert,

Your book must be a sucess because the proof is to be found in this All-Hallowes Eve accusation.

Posted by: bigcatgirl13106 at November 1, 2006 6:03 AM

I just wanted to refute my earlier post; I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote it. Robert Spencer is not some diabolical genius able to bend time and space, brainwashing devoted followers of islam. Raym - I mean, Robert Spencer is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

Anyone for passing the time with a little solitaire?

Geoff
-posted by: Geoff at November 1, 2006 01:07 AM

Apparently Robert can time travel and was there the day Mohammed recited the Satanic Verses. Tired after all his time travels, Robert accidentally let Mo realize he had been duped. Robert covered his tracks by making Mohammed use the "devil made me do it" excuse.

My God... ...He causes the grass to grow for the cattle and vegetation for the service of man, that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine that makes glad the heart of man.
-Bible, Psalm 104

Posted by: St. David, King of Georgia at November 1, 2006 7:25 AM

This guy" Khaleel Mohammed" is there a way of finding out his circuit, and maybe we can get people with Roberts book to pass around his audience and then have people actually ask real questions?

Posted by: ZenaWarriorPrincess at November 1, 2006 7:31 AM

Karl Rove did the same sort of thing to John Kerry!

Posted by: KAOSKTRL at November 1, 2006 7:53 AM

"two preux chevaliers..."
-- from a posting above

One of them sans peur, and the other sans moeurs. I think you can guess which is which.

Posted by: Hugh at November 1, 2006 8:15 AM

The "truth" of "Muhummad the Prophet" is a myth.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&defl=en&q=define:hearsay&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title

Posted by: Novy Mir at November 1, 2006 8:19 AM

See also:
http://dict.die.net/innuendo/
and:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/speculation

So much for "scholarship" or objectivity.

Posted by: Novy Mir at November 1, 2006 8:28 AM

Hugh,
If it was Stephen Schwartz, he blew his cover in an angry return email to me a few years ago when he had a Kerry Freudian slip moment,and suggested I end up in Iraq.

His other relevatory comment was how everyone thought they were a writer nowadays if they had access to a computer .

(in this he was naively and ironically correct).

Posted by: dgene at November 1, 2006 9:14 AM

'That Khaleel Mohammed?'

Yes him: From his homepage:

" I certainly refuse to apologise for Jihad--which is a defensive war fought against those who declare war on Islam. That many Muslim regimes have confused Jihad and War is something that I admit to--but their crime is their own, and I do not have to apologize for that--no more than I expect every Christian to apologize to every Muslim and every Jew for the crimes committed in the name of Jesus during the crusades..."

How would you like your truth cooked today, Sir? Fried, roasted or hard boiled?

Posted by: sheik yer'mami at November 1, 2006 9:16 AM

Robert,

I have a copy of Critical Lives:Muhammad by Yahiya Emerick (sent to me courtesy of CAIR) and on page 213, Emerick writes

"He further expanded his family by marrying Zaynab bint Khuzaymah, a widow of Badr, and Zaynab bint Jahsh, who recently had divorced Zayd ibn Harithah because of his humble background."

So, your black arts have expanded even farther. Perhaps it is you (through time travel) who was responsible for the Satanic Verses:-)

Posted by: BigDaddy at November 1, 2006 9:59 AM

The things you learn on JW - I'm delighted that this story finally broke! Now I know who to call for help in housetraining my new puppy.

Posted by: libbysmom at November 1, 2006 10:09 AM

MusHuntCowboy,

"Does any one here know if Mo married his siste-in-law while the son was already married to her?"

On page 31 of Spencer's book which I'm reading now, he writes, "...[Muhammad's] marriage to his ex-daughter-in-law."

Posted by: remote_control at November 1, 2006 12:21 PM

Dear Shaiykh Roobart,

I was gardening the other day with my wife - who, as is proper for women, urine, feces and other filth, was two steps behind me - when my next-door neighbour approached and offered to sell me a sheep. He asked a very low price for it, and so even though I was skeptical, I bought it anyway. As I shelled the shekels into his hand, he snickered. When I asked him what made him snicker, he said "Have fun with Dolly, loser!" I asked him to explain what that meant and he merely snickered again and made a circle with one hand and moved his index finger of the other hand in and out of it, and then he left. When I asked my wife what that meant, she told me that the sheep was guilty of illicit sexual relations with my neighbour and that it would have to be slaughtered immediately. I had no idea my sheep was so slutty.

My request is this: could you, with your powers over time and space, perhaps curse or harm my neighbour in some way? I mean, I don't want you to go do anything yourself - I'm not looking for any specific person to do anything specific to this guy, just, you know, if something were to happen to him, you know, inshallah, that would be really cool. But also, of course, tragic. Know what I mean?

Also, having this new slutty sheep around makes me remember that I like cowboys and I think that sucks.

Anyway, hypothetically, is it wrong to have relations with animals? What if the sheep were really slutty and I was going to decapitate her anyway? I'm just saying.

Prophet Geoff

Posted by: Geoff at November 1, 2006 12:24 PM

Eye of newt
Tongue of Dog,
Dhimmis dumber
Than a log...

Robert, keep up the good work! (And if the winning lottery numbers aren't too much trouble...)

Posted by: GoldieLox at November 1, 2006 4:16 PM

PG,

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Posted by: PRCS at November 1, 2006 9:46 PM