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Zionist squirrels, of course. Can the arrest of a moose be far behind?
By Dudi Cohen for Ynet News (thanks to all who sent this in):
Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation's borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic."In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran's borders," state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."
Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran's borders.
"I heard of this but I have no specific knowledge on the subject," he said. He refused to give further details.
Meanwhile, it has come to light that in this operation the Iranians are employing two former Soviet agents:
Posted by Robert at July 14, 2007 6:47 AM
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...just when you thought the paranoia and conspiracy theories of the middle east had reached a zenith.
These ppl are so crazy, it stuns me.
I am so sick and tired of the entire world being caught up by these ignorant half-humans.
Posted by: JenBee![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.jihadwatch.org/nav-commenters.gif)
at July 14, 2007 7:07 AM
Oh dear we now have to call off Pinky and the Brain,Mighty Mouse, Big Bird and Oscar the grouch...This is just to funny.
Posted by: mountiangirl at July 14, 2007 7:10 AM
Seems very reasonable to me where you have squirrels you usually find nuts.
Posted by: Holger Dansker at July 14, 2007 7:16 AM
I had to do a double-take when I saw it, thinking it was a spoof...it's not.
Seems our counter-espionage & counter-insurgency tactics are working better than thought, especially since it entailed letting their own paranoia consume them...
...reminds me of the Band of Brothers episode (#2, "Day of Days"), the assault on Brecourt Manor, where our guys had the enemy so confused they ended up shooting at each other instead of the enemy...
...at any rate, this is utterly hilarious, but when -their economy stunk before the munchkin took over, -and stinks far worse now,
-fuel rationing down to 1 gallon(+/-3.95Litres)per WEEK since
-they must import 40% of their gasoline (refineries are croaking), yet
-they're pursuing nukes and claiming they're not (the blatant lack of electrical grid hookups, and the lack of even getting started on one, which is one of the FIRST TWO things one does when building ANY electrical plant, is the dead giveaway it's NOT for "peaceful" ANYTHING
-giving priority gasoline to the military
-arming proxies to the teeth via their own masters, CHINA
-still having, and getting more so, fighting with russia over the nuke fuel rod deal
-rioting continuing in the streets because things stink...
...and to top it all off, paranoia that everything bad is the fault of the "eeeeeeevil joooooozzz", it's no wonder they'd arrest Rocky the squirrel.
"Hey mahmoud! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!"
gut-bustingly funny
LMAO
at July 14, 2007 7:21 AM
"Zionist squirrels, of course. Can the arrest of a moose be far behind?"
It is well known that a moose was responsible for the 9/11 attacks. This video proves it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqVdESOo6D4
Posted by: Celsius at July 14, 2007 7:22 AM
Rocket J. Squirrel is not a bad idea.
Posted by: Frank at July 14, 2007 7:30 AM
"The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."
Let's see, squirrels look for nuts, usually up in trees.
The squirrels were in Iran, which has lots of nuts in very high places.
And the biggest nut in the world is in Iran.
Okay, it all makes sense; wonder what happened to "Secret Squirrel?"
at July 14, 2007 7:39 AM
"The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."
Let's see, squirrels look for nuts, usually up in trees.
The squirrels were in Iran, which has lots of nuts in very high places.
And the biggest nut in the world is in Iran.
Okay, it all makes sense; wonder what happened to "Secret Squirrel?"
at July 14, 2007 7:42 AM
Usually I get upset or think, well, a nuke or two over the islamic world might actually help -- but this here is so damned funny, one can only LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Posted by: bonncaruso at July 14, 2007 8:22 AM
"These people are so crazy it stuns me."
Cannot agree with you more, JenBee.
Following a hoax religion and worshipping an idol Moon god all of these centuries has truly rotted their brain capacities.
Posted by: darcy at July 14, 2007 8:31 AM
The west should release thousands of rats in Tehran, wearing small collars, with small blinking LED lights. That would really drive them nuts.
Posted by: duh_swami at July 14, 2007 9:20 AM
Is Iran the stupidest regime in the world? Do we need any more proof?
Posted by: Gramfan at July 14, 2007 9:54 AM
at July 14, 2007 9:57 AM
Now, wait a second...have you seen what a kamikaze squirrel can do to an electrical transformer?
Trouble is, I tried to use a cellphone to control them.
Rocky, can you hear me now?
Posted by: freedomschool at July 14, 2007 10:01 AM
Man I got to get what ever they are smoking!
Posted by: KAOSKTRL at July 14, 2007 10:12 AM
The west should release thousands of rats [squirrels] in Tehran, wearing small collars, with small blinking LED lights. That would really drive them nuts.-duh_swami
Absolutely, but stick with the Squirrel.
"Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels" [snip]. . . "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."Posted by: justamomof4
at July 14, 2007 10:18 AM
I think we should contact the PETA people to make these squirrels have their rights and not being tortured. Where are ACLU and Peta lawyers!! we must make sure these creatures of allah..are not threatened! PETA where are you!!
Posted by: ZenaWarriorPrincess at July 14, 2007 10:43 AM
"The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."
Damn, months of training wasted. But they'll never capture our pigeon squadrons.
...Mossad
Posted by: Infidel33 at July 14, 2007 10:48 AM
I didn't think that anything could be more absurd than the thread about the Egyptian cleric who wanted working women to (ahem) breastfeed their male co-workers.
However, this has surpassed it. This thread is a gem, from the title to the retro cold war graphics to the comments.
Best. Thread. Ever.
Posted by: s at July 14, 2007 11:10 AM
The more Sharia they are, the more primitive superstitious paranoid they become. Welcome to the future of Islam: warlordism, mass murder, mutilations, destruction, death of all humanist ideals, savagery. The great past civilization of Iran is going the way of Somalia - in their dreams of Mo's primitive Allah ruling the world. Back to the stone age, sooner with their bomb.
They would be pitied, were they not so deadly. With the bomb they must be feared. They're fools enough to waste themselves, and us. What a bunch of murderous paranoid village idiots. Thanks a lot Mo, nice 'religion' your created 1400 years ago to waste humanity. Don't blame the squirrels, you moronic Muslim 'true believers'. I suggest we capture all the rodents we can and send them inside their borders. Good riddance, let the rodents eat Islam from the inside out. Eliminate Islam and the world may finally know World Peace for first time in history.
I'd rather be ruled by freedom loving, tree planting squirrels than those miserable lunatic Islamic rodents. Islam is a death cult, and Sharia is death of civilization.
Posted by: Battle_of_Tours at July 14, 2007 11:11 AM
Another Iranian "Fractured Fairy Tale."
Posted by: MarisolJW at July 14, 2007 11:28 AM
This is indeed devastating. The "Spy Squirrels" were our last, best hope against Iran's much feared "Jihad Gerbil" and "Bunny Bomb" programs.
May God help us all.
Posted by: Charlemagne'sFunnyBone at July 14, 2007 12:48 PM
Kill and behead this infidel squrrel. I nabi ZK demand it!
nabi ZK
believe it or die dudes...
Posted by: zonie kafir at July 14, 2007 1:23 PM
wonder what happened to "Secret Squirrel?"
by witness
That was great. Remember his weapons:
a bullet proof coat, a cannon hat, machine gun cane with a rat tat tat tat tat!!!!!
What would happen if Goofy ever found his way over there? Imagine him making fun of Islam. He'd die laughing.
Posted by: PMK at July 14, 2007 1:31 PM
I know this sounds ridiculous when first heard but there might be a good explanation. It sounds possible that scientists might have attached tracking devices to study migration patterns. It just seems unlikely they would make something like this up.
Posted by: BlowHammed at July 14, 2007 1:38 PM
"Quick, Natasha, before idiot moose and squirrel discover our secret jihad bomb plans!"
Is this a secret plot by the Iranians to convince us that they are totally inept? Are they torturing squirrels to learn American secrets? And why do they think they are advanced enough to have their own atomic bomb? They better watch out for the CIA's secret mice and rat spys!
Posted by: tanstaafl at July 14, 2007 2:05 PM
I'm sure that there are liberals who believe this as well.
Wacky world we live in.
Posted by: atheling at July 14, 2007 2:23 PM
These people are nuts....Pardon the pun.
at July 14, 2007 4:05 PM
It's not the squirrels with cameras they should be worried about but those vultures circling over head.
In another tone it is plausible to attach some cams onto a squirrel.Although planting the squirrels would take some doing even from the inside i think,maybe not.Also i don't know how trainable a squirrel really is.
Who knows our Gov. could have taught squirrels to be spies anything is possible.Look at the grand poobahs and how they have trained zombies to wear explosive vests.Zombies don't think very GOODLY and are LOOSERS,they still get the job done.I would say a squirrel being of a superior mind than that of a zombie is highly trainable.
Still the mental picture of Iranians running around trying to capture these infedel squirrels is too funny.
I wonder will they post a video of some "brave and heroic lion" chopping the head off of one of these spies?
Posted by: Dar al-harb at July 14, 2007 5:03 PM
Zionist squirrels, of course. Can the arrest of a moose be far behind?
LMAO!
at July 14, 2007 5:21 PM
http://www.mediamatinee.com/teeveeboom/uploaded_images/Secret_Squirrel!__125-764493.jpg
Posted by: DCWatson at July 14, 2007 6:22 PM
Now this is funny.
Posted by: callmeinfidel at July 14, 2007 7:15 PM
Well, the CIA did try to use a kitty once. Ever heard of Operation Acoustic Kitty?
Posted by: wrathofasma at July 14, 2007 7:25 PM
BlowHammed wrote:
I know this sounds ridiculous when first heard but there might be a good explanation. It sounds possible that scientists might have attached tracking devices to study migration patterns. It just seems unlikely they would make something like this up.
.................
I second this. I think this is a likely explanation. Here we have Iranian "Intelligence" unaware of the common use of tracking devices by animal scientists. Pathetic.
Those who call traditional Islamic societies "medieval" are not wrong.
Accusations, trials and even executions of animals were quite common in medieval Europe. Dogs, cows, pigs, even rats and insects, were accused of various crimes. These were most often acts of violence, but were at times even odder, such as accusing dogs who annoyingly howled during church services of blasphemy.
These cases became rarer during the Rennaissance, and pretty much died out following the European age of reason. A few odd cases did pop up in various unenlightened backwaters, but eventually became just curiousities.
Islam, of course, has never had an age of reason.
Here is a link:
http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/issues/4/animalsontrial.php
I think we had all hoped that this was a thing of the distant past.
Posted by: gravenimage at July 14, 2007 9:45 PM
from a secret CIA memo to the White House . . . NOT
"So far, the plan is working better than anticipated. They have captured only 14 of the first wave. All the others are nearing their objectives. Based on these results, we are sending in the second wave on schedule, and expect even fewer casualties."
Posted by: ebonystone at July 14, 2007 9:57 PM
I would love to see their "spy gear"! What a bunch of morons these people are. God only knows what they've done to the poor animals for their crimes against the islamic Republic of Iran. I hope they got a fair trial before they were hung from a crane or buried up to their furry little heads and stoned to death by a crowd of maniacal, blood-thirsty muslims.
Dogs would make good spies but I think they're illegal in Iran. Maybe they should send cats next time, with cameras and microphones in their flea collars.
Posted by: Susanp at July 14, 2007 11:24 PM
Conker [Conquer]. . . ingenious
Posted by: justamomof4 at July 14, 2007 11:41 PM
Oh no the second wave will be the Chipmunks...
Black Ops..and all. The Chips are a bit more 'hardcore'.
http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw
And hopefully they will be able to recover also the 14 squirrels ....godspeed chippies...godspeed.
Posted by: Suz at July 15, 2007 12:44 AM
Put Boris in a turban and and Natasha in a burqa and a dishdasha and you have it.
Posted by: Timur at July 15, 2007 3:38 AM
We've got plenty of squirrels in this country. Gather up a couple hundred thousand, outfit them with collars and little transisters, then turn them loose at the Iranian border.
Maybe even add an array of other rodents like rats and mice to the mix.
That should keep the Iranian military busy for a while.
Posted by: rational at July 15, 2007 7:52 AM
...i hope they never find out about the cockroaches with the microchip cameras and nano tape recorders....
Posted by: exsgtbrown at July 16, 2007 6:02 AM
You just can't make this stuff up.
Posted by: tanstaafl at July 16, 2007 10:25 AM
Infidel33 -
Squirrels can't be trusted. For more info on the squirrel/pigeon alliance, see this site: http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html
Dar al-harb -
Squirrels are vey trainable. Remember the nut-shelling scene in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"? Those were all real squirrels (not CG or animatronics).
Posted by: chopsaw13 at July 16, 2007 12:12 PM
I love Boris and Natasha!!!! They are always after the 'Moose and Squirrel!'
But--what's next for Iran??? Roadrunner and Wiley E. Coyote??
If only Jay Ward were with us today--he'd sure have fun with what's going on nowadays...
Posted by: pythagoras at July 16, 2007 2:23 PM
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