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Dick Van Dyke did a great pratfall over that ottoman, and Chevy Chase was a devastatingly bumbling Gerald Ford, but neither of their falls had the bang of this guy's. Premature Detonation Alert: "Suicide bomber falls down stairs...," from Agence France-Presse (thanks to Anne Crockett):
A WOULD-be suicide bomber fell down a flight of stairs and blew himself up as he headed out for an attack in Afghanistan, police say....The would-be attacker tripped as he was leaving a building apparently to target an opening ceremony for a mosque that was expected to be attended by Afghan and international military officials, said Sakhi Mir.
"Coming down the stairs, he fell down and exploded. Two civilian women and a man were wounded,'' Mir said.
I'm sorry they were wounded. I'm glad this idiot wasn't able to kill anyone but himself. And no virgins will be issued.
Posted by Robert at January 24, 2008 9:02 PM
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That first step is always a killer.
Posted by: Aiken Bryce![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.jihadwatch.org/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 24, 2008 9:19 PM
Or should I say, a kill-him?
Posted by: Aiken Bryce at January 24, 2008 9:21 PM
I see vaudeville has reached new heights.
Posted by: S Perry at January 24, 2008 9:29 PM
If a martyr to be dies this way does he still get his virgins (or raisins)?
Posted by: Jerry M at January 24, 2008 9:35 PM
He tripped into oblivion. No virgins. No luck.
Posted by: Sounder at January 24, 2008 9:37 PM
Darwin Award Winner 2008
Posted by: USorThem at January 24, 2008 9:39 PM
Are you sure he didn't sleep on a banana peel?
Posted by: 3812Michelle at January 24, 2008 9:41 PM
Okay, SLIP not sleep.
Posted by: 3812Michelle at January 24, 2008 9:42 PM
"Coming down the stairs, he fell down and exploded."
I'm sorry but I can't stop laughing.
Posted by: Isabellathecrusader at January 24, 2008 9:53 PM
Well he did it with a right heart. Perhaps only 36 virgins.
Posted by: Fellow Infidel at January 24, 2008 10:00 PM
Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor?
Posted by: interestinconundrum at January 24, 2008 10:01 PM
Sounder,
These videos will make the classic realm!
I have to admit that I especially enjoyed the soundtrack.
Posted by: Aiken Bryce at January 24, 2008 10:02 PM
Well he did it with a right heart. Perhaps only 36 virgins.
Posted by: Fellow Infidel at January 24, 2008 10:04 PM
And he didn't even live long enough to say, like Steve Buscemi in "Fargo" -- "you shoulda seen the other guy."
Posted by: Hugh at January 24, 2008 10:08 PM
Israeli officials drily call this sort of thing a "work accident."
Posted by: Hugh at January 24, 2008 10:10 PM
A small correction, Robert. Isn't recycled virgins a more apt description. From what I've read when pressed for an answer on where all these virgins are coming from, apparently the big A makes them virgins again. :)
Posted by: chrisse at January 24, 2008 10:11 PM
Does he get 'Workman's compensation' then?
Posted by: Sounder at January 24, 2008 10:11 PM
Bon Voyage, you stupid little )(^*&^^(*.
at January 24, 2008 10:12 PM
Don't feel guilty, Isabella. That's normal. Serves the little (*Y&)Y(*7 right.
at January 24, 2008 10:13 PM
More 'Muslim Mishaps'
Reward: 72 year Old Virgin
Watch here:
http://shadowspear.com/vb/showthread.php?t=6011
at January 24, 2008 10:15 PM
How come the abuse of women follows even to "Paradise"? What? You live a perfect life, and die a virgin and go to Paradise ... and then you get some TERRORIST forcing himself on you????
So, you blow some people up, and then when you get to heaven you get somebody breaking even the POLYGYNY rule without so much as a marriage ceremony????
BTW, examination of original core texts of this reveals a mistranslation. It's not virgins. It's GRAPES.
I'm not kidding about that. I hope they're those nasty red ones with the acid-tasting seeds.
Posted by: Morgaan Sinclair at January 24, 2008 10:29 PM
They can always call 'Jihad Suicede Hotline' : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEdsUeq6xoY
Posted by: Alert at January 24, 2008 10:43 PM
The name "Dick Van Dyke" - and the implied names of Mary Tyler Moore, Morey Amsterdam, Carl Reiner, and others in that series -- not only comforts, amidst all the grim disturbing items of necessity put up here, but also will remind many that the sense of humor that "The Dick Van Dyke Show" possessed, and relied upon, or at times surely helped to create, in its viewers, is among those things not to be left off of any short-list of Why We Fight.
Posted by: Hugh
at January 24, 2008 10:43 PM
I am surprised nobody has done a cartoon in which God greets the martyr with a box of sun-dried raisins. (Our Shaheed in question may only get half a box.)
Posted by: Jerry M at January 24, 2008 10:44 PM
My wife has a cousin, an Army captain, serving in the eastern mountains near this town of Khowst. He must be laughing his **s off over this one, if they got word of it.
Maybe Satan gives this failed martyr a choice of:
a. 36 raisins
b. 36 grapes
c. 36 old hags
d. some combination of the above
at January 24, 2008 10:44 PM
"an opening ceremony for a mosque that was expected to be attended by Afghan and international military officials.."
-- from the article above, and likely to be overlooked
American aid is paying for those mosques being built in Afghanistan. American taxpayers, therefore, are paying for Muslim mosques. That policy would not withstand constitutional challenge on First Amendment grounds.
This policy -- American government funds going to pay for building mosques -- needs to be challenged on First Amendment grounds. But there is the problem of standing, that is, of having demonstrated sufficient remediable injury to yourself, as a taxpayer, from such a policy. In other cases the Court has held that being a mere taxpayer does not provide sufficient standing to bring a case involving environmental degradation. Would such a case, if brought, permit this Court to reconsider (I'm avoiding the annoying use here of "revisit") the question of taxpayer standing, in such an important matter?
There is a problem. The Court has held that being a taxpayer does not give one standing to bring such a suit. Who then can do it? How does noe
Posted by: Hugh at January 24, 2008 10:57 PM
Hugh says,
"...will remind many that the sense of humor that "The Dick Van Dyke Show" possessed, and relied upon, or at times surely helped to create, in its viewers, is among those things not to be left off of any short-list of Why We Fight."
Could a better summary (for a lack of a better term) be made than that?
Posted by: Aiken Bryce at January 24, 2008 11:01 PM
Of course it was Bush's fault he fell because Bush and America have denied these martyrs proper footwear! Shame...
Posted by: winston at January 24, 2008 11:08 PM
Hugh, in regard to litigation to halt the use of U.S. funds to build mosques, there must be some grounds that could be used. Surely, if the U.S. gov't wanted to build one in the U.S. itself there would be a way to bring suit against it.
Posted by: ebonystone at January 24, 2008 11:19 PM
"an opening ceremony for a mosque that was expected to be attended by Afghan and international military officials"
Who says the people that were wounded were "civilians"? They could easily have been this guy's family, friends or co-conspirators there to help him dress up for his meeting with allah and to bid him a fond farewell.
Are people able to don their suicide vests in private or must the tailor/munitions expert check the fit and make any alterations before the bomber sets out?
Even though he didn't kill anyone else doesn't he qualify for the grapes since he DID die on his final mission fighting for allah?
It would be nice to know who was to attend the ceremony. They can thank God for sticking His foot out as this guy walked down the stairs.
at January 24, 2008 11:33 PM
It gets better... in the original story, note that it is the second such incident in two days.
Earlier another bomber blew himself up as he was putting on his explosive jacket and it went off.
New term for "Chinese fire drill" for the 21st century... "Taliban fire drill"?
Posted by: Chuck Somerville at January 24, 2008 11:37 PM
sorry i dont see the humor in this because look at the stats, there are more where those came from
1.200 billion, CAIR (Council on American-Islamic relations)
At a level of 1.2 billion, they represent about 22% of the world's population. They are the second largest religion in the world. Only Christianity is larger, with 33% of the world's inhabitants.
Islam is growing about 2.9% per year. This is faster than the total world population which increases about 2.3% annually. It is thus attracting a progressively larger percentage of the world's population
2.9 percent a year, wow sounds pretty scarey id say
at January 24, 2008 11:40 PM
Hugh said
The Court has held that being a taxpayer does not give one standing to bring such a suit.
You're right, the significance of that sentence is easily missed. Solving this problem via the legal system is a great idea. But on a parallel track, whatever politicians do not agree with the current Iraq and Afghan policy, and there are quite a few in both major parties, should publicize this fact. Perhaps, like the Dubai ports deal, it can be at least temporarily derailed.
But, how can we get proof that the U.S. funded this mosque, rather than Saudi Arabia or Pakistan? We need the assistance of an insider, an unassuming book-keeper. Which, incidentally, is the type of person who finally brought Al Capone down.
Posted by: special_guest at January 24, 2008 11:48 PM
I would say that the terrorist's safety procedures and hardware need refinement. D'ya think they'll have a lessons learned meeting and issue a safety bulletin? Root cause analysis?
Nah.
Posted by: Pelayo at January 24, 2008 11:55 PM
Hope he enjoyed his trip.
That first step is a doozy.
Posted by: profitsbeard at January 24, 2008 11:58 PM
There is a problem. The Court has held that being a taxpayer does not give one standing to bring such a suit. Who then can do it? How does one? Posted by: HughHugh
One way I can think of:
Let an evangelist or other missionary organization formally ask the State Department for money to build a church in Afghanistan, say in Lashkar Gah (the site of this mosque). No need to actually send anyone there in harms way, just apply for the money. Obviously, it is more likely than not to be rejected on grounds of government funding of religions. Then challenge that in court, citing equal protection before the law.
Wouldn't that work?
Posted by: Infidel Pride at January 24, 2008 11:58 PM
No deaths with the noted exception of the virgin-seeker is always a good thing.
This sort of "inadequacy" should be encouraged at every turn.
Islam = inadequacy.
inadequacy = The failure to think freely.
inadequacy = The failure to do good.
inadequacy = The failure to feel anything, except fear of Allah, the Almighty, most beneficial and most merciful.
...And Allah as it seems historically, most fallible.
Posted by: awake at January 25, 2008 12:17 AM
Ooooh. I wonder if he was badly bruised. Tch. Tch.
Posted by: M.O.T. at January 25, 2008 12:19 AM
If a shaheed falls in the stairway, does anybody hear...
at January 25, 2008 12:29 AM
Failed attempts are still dangerous and as reported before by Jihad Watch some jihadis are brainwashed or even forced youths. These kind of threads give ammo to CAIR. Let's show a little more discretion.
Posted by: jt at January 25, 2008 1:16 AM
Failed attempts are still dangerous and as reported before by Jihad Watch some jihadis are brainwashed or even forced youths. These kind of threads give ammo to CAIR. Let's show a little more discretion.
Posted by: jt
They are all brainwashed. Which ones are forced?
But you are right the less rubber bullets for CAIR to shoot off, the better...
at January 25, 2008 1:46 AM
Dear jt,
I don't give a jihadist ass about CAIR or anybody that does. Us-them, lighten up and enjoy some black humor here.
at January 25, 2008 1:47 AM
I could tell you what to say to CAIR, but never mind. Just point out to them that he was going to bomb a mosque and fellow beleivers of The Religion of Peace and Tolerance.
To quote Jerry Pournelle, "Just think of it as evolution in action."
Posted by: jay at January 25, 2008 1:56 AM
Oh, man, this was just what I needed to hear, thanks.
Posted by: Bosch Fawstin at January 25, 2008 2:04 AM
Dick van Dyke, How about (the late)Don Knotts or Jerry Lewis doing this bit. That would be funny. Or Quick Draw McGraw.
Posted by: Infidel Brotherhood at January 25, 2008 2:06 AM
Dick van Dyke, How about (the late)Don Knotts or Jerry Lewis doing this bit. That would be funny. Or Quick Draw McGraw. Dating myself I suppose.
Posted by: Infidel Brotherhood at January 25, 2008 2:07 AM
Dick van Dyke, How about (the late)Don Knotts or Jerry Lewis doing this bit. That would be funny. Or Quick Draw McGraw. Dating myself I suppose.
Posted by: Infidel Brotherhood at January 25, 2008 2:11 AM
Wonder if he was able to belt out the old 'Allahu Akbar.'
Posted by: Bosch Fawstin at January 25, 2008 2:17 AM
posted above:
These kind of threads give ammo to CAIR. Let's show a little more discretion.
Yes...we should kow-tow to an organization that would protest mocking a suicide bomber rather than protesting the suicide bomber himself.
Posted by: Xero G at January 25, 2008 2:27 AM
"I could tell you what to say to CAIR, but never mind. Just point out to them that he was going to bomb a mosque and fellow beleivers of The Religion of Peace and Tolerance." -- Jay
Jay is right. This wannabee bomber must've been some kind of ISLAMOPHOBE and therefore got exactly what he deserved! CAIR will certainly share in our relief that he was stopped before his evil Anti-Islamic plan could be carried out.
Posted by: alexon at January 25, 2008 2:30 AM
I find it strange myself that Anyone could a rats ass what a group of stealth jihadists like cair think, about Anything.
Posted by: Bosch Fawstin at January 25, 2008 2:30 AM
The poor bastard suffered from premature discharge of his load.
Posted by: Xero G at January 25, 2008 2:35 AM
Calm down guys. I agree CAIR needs to be further exposed but threads like these give them cover. You should care because they are strong. We need to be wiser. Let's show we have a superior civilization.
at January 25, 2008 2:55 AM
Cair has as much power over us as we're willing to give it. They're only as strong as we, as a nation, allow them to be, and it looks like they've lost a Ton of support since 9/11, which
makes it the Perfect time to knock into them harder than ever. This idea that we have to be concerned with what our inferior enemies think of us and thus have to take the high ground against lowlifes has always bugged me. We do have a superior civilization and our badmouthing them or making fun of killers who kill themselves doesn't change that. You can't take on extremism with moderation, you have to meet them to beat them. We gotta get good and dirty in the mud sometimes. We can't allow a sniveling group of rats like cair to dictate to us what we think about Islam and Jihad in the prvacy of our own mind or in the public realm. It's time to go harder, not softer against this enemy once and for all.
at January 25, 2008 3:10 AM
Single-use activist. Don't they ever run out of fools?
Posted by: Henrik at January 25, 2008 3:56 AM
Now that's funny, I don't care who ya are.
Posted by: Infidel1099 at January 25, 2008 4:24 AM
WOW!
This has made my day.
Thick as the proverbial pig shit. Pig being the operative word.
at January 25, 2008 6:17 AM
I woke up and read this. It's cold, dark and I need a laugh. Thanks!
Posted by: jewdog at January 25, 2008 6:22 AM
"The would-be attacker tripped as he was leaving a building apparently to target an opening ceremony for a mosque ...."
......was that one of the "unofficial" mosques we recently read about?......
......I know.....I Know....Muslims like to build mosques so that they can blow them up.....
wow...Ban Muslim Immigration...
at January 25, 2008 6:31 AM
Just think of it as a new spelling of a
Cair Package
Coming soon to our neighborhood.
Posted by: Aunt Bea at January 25, 2008 6:33 AM
"I agree CAIR needs to be further exposed but threads like these give them cover."
Ehm, how exactly does this thread to that?
Posted by: Henrik at January 25, 2008 6:58 AM
I heard all 72 virgins are equipped with razor-sharp vagina dentata.
Posted by: Rafa at January 25, 2008 8:15 AM
Somehow this sounds like some type of a Homeresques sitution.
Doh!!!!!!!!!
at January 25, 2008 10:34 AM
jt,
How does mocking a failed killer give CAIR cover? Why aren't you asking CAIR to unequivocally condemn any and all who would even suggest doing what this guy wanted to do?
We can "show we have a superior civilization" by airdropping history books on the Muslim world. We can also show it by keeping all of them out and allowing our civilization to continue to flourish and grow even as Islamdom recedes.
Truth hurts.
at January 25, 2008 12:13 PM
Dick van Dyke, How about (the late)Don Knotts or Jerry Lewis doing this bit. That would be funny. Or Quick Draw McGraw. Dating myself I suppose.
Posted by: Infidel Brotherhood at January 25, 2008 2:11 AM
Depends on whether or not you saw them first run/live or as reruns.lol
Posted by: Kevin at January 25, 2008 12:47 PM
I read the article and immediately thought of this Jeff Dunham piece with Walter. About 3:50 into it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D60yjEbQnDg
at January 25, 2008 4:58 PM
GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!
Posted by: champ at January 25, 2008 5:04 PM
These kind of threads give ammo to CAIR. Let's show a little more discretion.
Give us a break. Making fun of stupid Muslims isn't illegal...yet.
Let me check my bank account.....nope CAIR hasn't and doesn't pay my bills.
I just wish one of these guys would fall down in their lobby.
Gert Wilder said the movie has already done it's job and it hasn't even come out yet. In the Jpost.
at January 25, 2008 5:57 PM
OK Kevin ya got me, I was a little baby boomer runt on the first run. 13' black and white TV. Great stuff still playing on FIOS.
How about Matt Stone/South Park episode where Cartman is strapping the bomb on Tweak perhaps Butters and well..
It would never make it to the networks I am sure, but I bet Matt Stone has some hillarious stuff we never get to see all because we have to many "pus**'s amongst us instead of "A**hole's" and "more D*cks". Any current college student will understand that "Team America" point of view.
Tired of the PC crowd. We will all be little lemmons jumping to our doom if we don't wake up to the deceit islam is.
at January 25, 2008 10:48 PM
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