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Last night was the biggest night of the year here in Secure Undisclosed Locationville: the world's glitterati gathered at the Jihad Watch Freedom Towers for our annual Jihad Watch Awards banquet. And let me tell you, friends, seldom has there been a red carpet that featured more beautiful people, more glitz, more glamor, more limos, more hummers, more armored vehicles! That's right, they all turned out: Sydney Greenstreet! Peter Lorre! Butterfly McQueen! Mary Livingstone! Zeppo Marx!
The flashbulbs are popping. Everyone is leaning right, anxious to see the winners arrive. And now the triumphant moment has come. The crowd is hushed. Raymond, Hugh and I, decked out in our trademark matching powder blue tuxes, wait on the dais with Marisol, who looks stunning in a beaded gown from Givenchy -- or was it DaVinci? And here they come.
The American Dhimmi of the Year 2008...JIMMY CARTER!!
Carter, looking a bit purple and green, slithers to the podium to accept his Cringing Dhimmi statuette. His acceptance remarks are brief: "Let me just say, mah fellow Americans, that I am very proud that y'all have elected me to this third term, and in closing, Death to Israel!"
Dhimmi Internationale 2008...ROWAN WILLIAMS!!
The Archbishop of Canterbury comes forward in full regalia -- but what's this? In honor of his call for Sharia law for Muslims in Britain, Williams has brought with him several members of the British Muslim community. And they're -- they're -- yes, that's right! They're fitting him with the cloth belt, the zunnar, that dhimmis wore in some of the great Islamic empires of the past to make sure they were not mistaken for Muslims and greeted with "Peace be upon you"! And now -- what's he doing? He's taking out his billfold! He's -- he's paying the jizya! And they're graciously accepting his payment with the ritual slap on the back of the neck as specified by the Islamic scholar Zamakhshari!
A murmur goes through the crowd. Such a moving ceremony has seldom been witnessed in the modern age. There are few dry eyes in the house.
And now comes the best part: the heroes of our age, the people who are standing in the breach, the catchers in the rye, the ones to whom we will owe our thanks if we make it through this thing:
Anti-Dhimmi Internationale 2008...GEERT WILDERS!!
Wilders, tall, unbowed, indomitable, comes forward to accept his Anti-Dhimmi statuette. His remarks were similar to the ones he made here.
And finally...
The American Anti-Dhimmi of the Year 2008...MARK STEYN!!
A voice pipes up from the crowd. "But Steyn ain't American! What's he doing winning this thing two years running?" There was a tense moment when Pamela Geller stood up and asked to see Steyn's birth certificate -- that's when I explained that all U.S. residents were eligible for the Award. Then Steyn spoke in this vein.
Congratulations to all the winners! I blow you all kisses! Thank you for coming! Enjoy the drinks and the dancing!
Cartoon by the nonpareil Dave Washburn.
Posted by Robert at January 2, 2009 3:06 PM
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Sounds like a great time was had by all. And some outstanding winners on anti-dhimmi side. Although I was rooting for Father Botros (or however his name is spelled/pronounced) to win the Internationale Anti-Dhimmi. I only wish my cable company would carry his show. Even in re-runs it would be good entertainment.
Congrats to all the winners (especially you Mr. Carter).
Posted by: walterc![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.jihadwatch.org/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 2, 2009 4:17 PM
No comments, just applause...
Posted by: duh_swami at January 2, 2009 4:28 PM
Congratulations to all the winners! I blow you all kisses! Thank you for coming! Enjoy the drinks and the dancing!
COOL!!
Mohammedans miss out on these pleasures of life. No Alcohol, no Music and no Dancing.
Posted by: savsiv at January 2, 2009 4:40 PM
HAMAS sends its hate. The entire Umma, likewise, bestows its curses, deathly threats, and abuse. CAIR remembers you with litigious spite and grievance-theater. Islamists everywhere mark this august milestone with malicious maledictions, ill-wishes, and prayers for your utter destuction. I, for my part, wish you all a hearty mazel tov!
Posted by: John C at January 2, 2009 5:10 PM
Fantastic!
Posted by: Josephine at January 2, 2009 5:22 PM
NB: "r"
Posted by: John C at January 2, 2009 5:23 PM
"But Steyn ain't American!"
Well, he's North American.
Posted by: Brett_McS at January 2, 2009 5:29 PM
Blue tuxes? Where have we seen those before? Oy... say it ain't so...
Anyway, a hearty congratulations to both Geert Wilders and Mark Steyn for their Anti-Dhimmi awards. Each richly deserve them.
As to the other two "winners", who each also most assuredly deserve their awards, I wish them nothing but that they should end their time here on earth in ignominy.
Posted by: Vee at January 2, 2009 6:04 PM
I hope you enjoyed some good adult breverages, ie wine.. you make hammas tremble with fear!
Posted by: ZenaWarriorPrincess at January 2, 2009 7:18 PM
Honorable mention for American anti-dhimmi of the year for Pamela Geller. Yes, let me be the first to say it.
Posted by: awake at January 2, 2009 9:36 PM
Congratulations to all the winners, and next, er this year, please don't re-nominate them.
Posted by: Infidel Pride at January 2, 2009 10:35 PM
Hey Robert-Wellington made a good suggestion for next year: Troll of the Year awards as a new category!
Posted by: lorfalcon at January 3, 2009 1:30 AM
GEERTJE WILDERS!!!
Geertje for Prime Minister! =D
I voted for him and I'm glad he won. Next time there are elections he will definately get my vote =)
(And yes I can vote for him because I'm a dutch national)
Congratulations to Mark Steyn aswel and all the other nominees. Also I would like to thank the dhimmi's for keeping it real in da dhimmi ghetto's ;)
Wow, even in het Algemeen Dagblad newspaper it said that Geert Wilders won the award. Sadly though they were trying to portrait it as something you only get when you are a criminal... =S
To Geert and all the other non-dhimmi's, keep fighting and stand strong!
Posted by: Sic at January 3, 2009 11:23 AM
Marisol,
You are tres chic, as we fashion cognoscenti say.
Posted by: John C at January 3, 2009 2:30 PM
The US snail mail must not function in the vast California desert: I never rec'd my own personal invitation to the aforementioned Dhimmi Awards Banquet at an undiclosed location. But it sure sounded swell! Maybe next year? One can only live in hope....
Posted by: Joy at January 3, 2009 2:58 PM
This is great! Maybe there could be two award ceremonies six months apart so more Great Ones are able to receive Anti-Dhimmi Awards for their unstinting efforts. Goodness knows, there are enough heroic efforts going on every day to stem the tide of the poisonous Sons of Hatred, Slaughter, and Slavery.
Posted by: Cassandra at January 5, 2009 9:02 AM
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