I get dozens of Nigerian banking scam come-ons in my email box every day, and usually ignore them — except for the occasional amusing piece, as when they purported to be Suha Arafat trying to recover the funds that Yasir had deposited in secret accounts.
But I never got one like this before. Probably I will get several hundred more like it in the coming weeks, but this one is the first: it’s a certification that I am not a terrorist, from the United Nations itself! For a fee, of course.
I am thrilled that the UN has recognized that I am not a terrorist, but I don’t think I can afford the certificate. Kofi Annan will just have to be satisfied with my continuing to be a “free and well abiding citizen” of the “INTED STATES.” They seem to think, however, that I am not a US citizen and would want a US Visa, which their “certificate of anti-terrorist” would apparently help me obtain. Hmmm…Now that’s interesting…
This is to inform you that after going through your profile on our
international intelligence on terrorism, we have come to a conclusion that you are free and well abiding citizen of your country, we hereby want to let you know that you will be assigned and giving certificate of non-involvement in terrorist activities.
You re required to contact us as soon as you get this message for further information on registering you on our data base. On the month of August we are holding a seminar/lectures on anti-terrorist act under the supervision of the secretary to the INTED STATES defense minister and the British chief intelligence minister, so you are hereby informed on this on time if you are to participate on this or not, you are allowed to decide on this in your own free will.
A certificate of antiterrorist will be issued to you immediately yourget back to us, and you will be giving your charges to pay for your documents, and other things attached to it…
Your benefit on this is that, as soon as we confirm your registration, you will be giving a chance of having the UNITED KINGDOM AND UNITED STATE VISA under tha act of the UNITED STATES IMMIGRATION LAW ANTI TERRORIST FREE LEGIT ACT 2003…
THANKS AND DO GET IN TOUCH WITH US IMMEDIATELY.
FROM THE UNITED NATIONS ON ANTI TERROSRIST ORGANISATION…
JOSE .D. LINA JR
SECRETARY, DILG AND CHAIRMAN, NAPOLCOM
The email from which this masterpiece came was “firstname.lastname@example.org.” Lotto Agent? I know that some American states have lotteries, but the UN?