In a Jihad Watch essay, the European writer Fjordman, whose blog illumninated the Islamization of Europe for quite some time, describes the plight of all too many non-Muslim women who marry Muslim men:
There are significant numbers of non-Muslim women who have become involved with Muslim men through marriage. An extremely high percentage of these relationships break down. It could be a good idea to take a look at certain Islamic ideas regarding relations with non-Muslim women, some of them not always openly expressed, so that other women may gain some insight into what to expect if they do get involved in such a relationship.
The Norwegian organization Human Rights Service, dealing with issues related to immigration and women’s rights in particular, features an essay online written by a Norwegian woman, for security reasons using the pseudonym “Marie.” She tells of how, when the relationship with her Muslim husband ended, he signalled quite clearly that their child was “his property.” He also threatened her physically if she disobeyed him, and has threatened repeatedly to kidnap the child and bring it to his Islamic home country. In an article in the Middle East Times entitled “Beyond homesickness: Western wives in Egypt,” American “Karen” tells of her experiences in Egypt:
With Karen’s niqab (veil) covering up most of her face, you can still see bitterness in her eyes. You can hear resentment in her voice as she tells her story. She claims to speak on behalf of many Western women living in Egypt, married to, or divorced from, Egyptians. After converting to Islam, Karen moved to Egypt with a few other women who shared with her idealistic ideas about living in a Muslim-majority country. They were soon confronted with the reality about the people’s “ignorance of Islam” and deviation from its teachings. “It’s a men’s country, [where] men don’t take women seriously … and tend to take advantage of them.” (“¦) She decided she couldn’t stay in Egypt unless married and she accepted a marriage offer by an Egyptian man, a decision that she regrets. Cultural differences made Karen feel “oppressed” in her marriage. (“¦) Karen chose to remain in Egypt after her divorce. She likes the religious basis that bounds them. It was her decision to wear niqab — uninfluenced by her ex-husband — out of religion-related motives. Karen also likes the “healthy family structure” in Egypt.
Hugh Fitzgerald of Jihad Watch has written several insightful essays about this topic:
“I was just a stepping stone to a green card,” said one victim of visa fraud. “I married a terrorist. I married somebody who did not like America, who didn’t like Americans.” I have known one or two of these stepping-stones. Some are complete innocents, others don’t want to know. But it is not always the Green Card alone. Sometimes it is the Green Card, and the stepping-stone’s property, or even inheritance, as well. And it happens all over Europe as well as in North America and Australia. Indeed, one can find guides on Muslim websites for the “muhajiroun” (Holy Warriors) as to the advantages of marrying an Infidel woman. And since women are essentially chattel, who really cares what happens to them?
There is something not neutral, not innocent, something disturbing, about the Western women who choose to live in Muslim countries for a short or long period, and when they do, and find it necessary (or sometimes even without finding it necessary) to the dress code for local women, do so uncomplainingly, willingly adapt, at times with a certain secret pleasure. The most advanced women born into Islam (starting with Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Homa Arjmand, Azam Kamguian) try to become free of this male-imposed dress when they can; the most un-advanced, most primitive women in the non-Muslim world, on the other hand, find themselves not only finding nothing wrong in “Islam’s treatment of women,” but justifying and even celebrating what some of them call a “portable seclusion,” instead of addressing the attitudes and behavior of Muslim men toward women (any female traveller to Muslim countries can be called to the witness-stand) that might make such “portable seclusion” necessary. You see: it’s fun. It’s a kind of civilizational slumming, or rather, a rapid abandonment of all supposed principles that supposedly meant so much to them at home. Where be that famous feminism now?
It is highly recommended for non-Muslims to read some of the Islamic websites giving online fatwas, religious rulings on specific matters related to Islamic law. Be aware that some of the ones in English are “softened” in tone to cater to a non-Muslim audience and give them a “positive” image of Islam, but there are still some that give a fairly accurate picture of Islamic thinking. One such websites is Islam Q&A. This is not an extremist website, but rather a site that provides a good insight into Islamic mentality, based on authentic Islamic texts. Here is a small selection of quotes about marriage to non-Muslim women that any Western woman getting involved with a Muslim man should read and understand:
The married woman should remember that obedience to her husband takes precedence over obedience to her parents. (“¦) sharee’ah almost commanded women to prostrate to men, were it not for the fact that it is not permissible for anyone to prostrate to any human being. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Marriage is slavery, so be careful with regard to whom you give your daughter for enslavement.” In al-Tirmidhi and elsewhere it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well, for they are prisoners with you.” So a woman is like a slave or prisoner of her husband, and she cannot go out of his house except with his permission.”
It is not obligatory for the Muslim husband “to have the approval of his first wife if he wants to marry a second wife.” Moreover, Allah “has enjoined disciplining women” by hitting them, when they do not obey their husband, for instance by going out of the house without his permission. This is based upon verse 4.34 in the Koran: “Men are overseers over women, by reason of that wherewith Allah hath made one of them excel over another, and by reason of that which they expend of their substance. Wherefore righteous women are obedient, and are watchers in husbands absence by the aid and protection of Allah. And those wives whose refractoriness ye fear, exhort them, and avoid them in beds, and beat them; but if they obey you, seek not a way against them; verily Allah is ever Lofty, Grand.”
One of the conditions for a Muslim man to marry a Christian or Jewish woman is that “the Muslim man should be in charge of the family.” This includes bringing up their children as good Muslims. What the woman thinks of the choice of religion is completely irrelevant in this regard. She is little more than his servant and a machine for making Muslim babies to expand the Islamic Ummah:
The husband “does have the right to forbid her to go out of the house, even if she is going to go out to go to church, because she is commanded to obey him. He also has the right to forbid her to commit evil openly in the house, such as setting up statues or ringing bells. That also includes celebrating innovated festivals, such as Easter, because that is an evil action according to Islam.” It is not permissible for a Muslim “to allow his wife from among the People of the Book to celebrate her festivals in his home, for the man is in charge of that woman and she does not have the right to openly celebrate her festivals in his home, because of the resulting effects of corruption, forbidden things and display of the symbols of kufr (disbelief, infidelity) in his home. He should keep his children from taking part in those innovated festivals, because the children belong to the father and he should keep them away from these forbidden celebrations.”
This condition of the children being raised as Muslims is absolute, and “a Muslim should not put himself in a position where he will be forced to raise his child as a kaafir (infidel) in a non-Muslim country, where a child may be forced to study something about Christianity, for example, or he may be taken to church on Sundays, or the law may be on the side of the non-Muslim woman, allowing her to raise him in her family’s religion, etc.” IslamOnline, too, agrees: “If a Muslim man marries a non-Muslim woman, then their children should be raised up as Muslims.”
One of the most frequent warnings to Muslim men planning to marry women from the People of the Book, the Koranic term for Christians and Jews, dhimmis or second-rate citizens in an Islamic society, is that “the states and governments of these women will give them custody of the children. This will cause these children to be lost and to fall into kufr.” With this in mind, it is recommended that the Muslim “should try to move to a Muslim country where you will be able to give your children a sound upbringing, because staying in the kaafir lands is not permissible except in cases of necessity or where it serves the interests of the Muslims.”
Many Western or non-Muslim women have noticed that their previously charming Muslim boyfriend suddenly became a lot more possessive once they had married or got a child. As one of them tells, “when they are engaged, they promise you everything, but after you are married, they give you nothing. After marriage, you are like a slave—supposed to be ready at their every beck and call!” This is what I will call the Reverse Frog Syndrome. Young girls have fantasies about finding a prince to marry, especially a frog that turns into a prince when kissed by the right girl. But sometimes you can also marry a prince that turns into a frog. This can happen in all countries, of course, but it seems to be much more frequent in some cultures than in others. One well-known case of a woman that married a charming, seemingly Westernized man in the USA who turned into The Muslim From Hell as soon as they went to his home country is Betty Mahmoody, made famous through the book and the movie “Not Without My Daughter.” During a summer “vacation” in Iran, her Iranian husband suddenly turned around 180 degrees and became a very conservative Muslim. For a year and a half, Betty and her daughter were held hostage by her husband and his family. He forced her wife to wear a veil, informed her that they would never return to the United States and threatened to kill her if she should try to escape.
This is not at all uncommon. These aggressive, Islamic traits are see most clearly once a relationship between a Muslim man and a non-Muslim woman breaks down. To a Muslim, it is simply intolerable that an inferior woman, and a non-Muslim one to boot, can defy his authority in such a way. It’s an insult to his integrity and his honor that cannot go unpunished. If they have children, it is his right, indeed duty as stated by Allah, to ensure that these children, his rightful property, are given an Islamic upbringing. If that means taking them by force from the mother, so be it. Helge Tangen in the Norwegian police section Kripos says that there has been an explosive increase in the number of abduction cases in recent years. Statistics from Denmark show that these children are usually taken to countries in the Middle East. Tangen does not doubt that “Multicultural marriages” increase the risk for such child abductions. In June 2004, Swedish mother Elizabeth Krantz’s five children were kidnapped from Sweden by Krantz’s estranged Palestinian husband Ismail Nowajah. The children were taken to the Gaza Strip against their will and in contravention of Swedish law. Ismail Nowajah said he disapproved of the upbringing his children were getting in Sweden, where they were born, and that he wished to bring them up according to a stricter Islamic code. Nowajah signalled, however, that he was willing to release the children back into the custody of their mother in exchange for five million Swedish kronor (about 720,000 US dollars).
This is why the Vatican has warned Catholic women to think hard before marrying a Muslim. Calling women “the least protected member of the Muslim family,” it spoke of the “bitter experience” western Catholics had with Muslim husbands, especially if they married outside the Islamic world and later moved to his country of origin. What about Christian men who may marry Muslim women? Not a problem: such marriages are forbidden by Islamic law. A Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman, but not vice versa. Even Palestinian leader Yassir Arafat married a Christian woman. This is, as we have seen, to ensure that the head of the household is always a Muslim, and to ensure that any children born from an inter-religious marriage will be raised as Muslims, thus contributing to advancing the cause of Islamic supremacy on earth. If a non-Muslim woman gets children with a Muslim man, she basically becomes a tool of Jihad.
Abduction cases are even worse in countries where Muslims form an overwhelming majority. In 2004, two Pakistani children were snatched away from their Christian mother by their Muslim father. As a teenager of 17, the children’s Christian mother, Maria Samar John, had been abducted and held prisoner for five months until her Muslim captors literally sold her for the equivalent of $2,000, her name was changed to Kalsoom and she was forced to thumbprint a certificate of so-called “conversion” to Islam. For the next two and one-half years, she was a virtual slave, locked in the house and beaten by both her husband and mother-in-law for refusing to say the Muslim prayers. She had borne a son and was pregnant for the second time when she found a mislaid house key and managed to flee her captors to return home. Soon afterwards, her husband sent men to recapture her.
The situation is even more difficult for non-Muslim women who not only marry a Muslim man, but also convert to Islam, sometimes due to pressure from his family. On the Internet, a German woman who has married a Saudi man, converted to Islam and moved to Saudi Arabia wrote a post on her blog titled “A good fake Muslima:”
I only became a Muslima because my husband asked me to. (“¦) I hadn’t problems respecting Islam. Unlike Christianity it doesn’t come along with a shameful history and more skeletons in the cellar than the human mind can imagine. It might have had its fair share of idiots and culprits marching over dead bodies in order to conquer new grounds but compared to Christianity their numbers were small. Throughout centuries, Islam presented itself as an enlightened and rather peaceful religion.
Now, what happens if this “fake” Muslima decides that she no longer wants to be a fake, and that Islam is not quite as “enlightened and peaceful” as she had been told? Well, according to traditional Islamic law, a man leaving Islam should be executed, as Muhammad himself said: “Whoever changes his religion [leaves Islam], execute him.” A woman leaving Islam gets slightly softer treatment, she is after all only a women and thus with a mental capacity closer to that of a child. Some argue that it will suffice to “just” imprison her in the house until she repents or death takes her.
If she lives in a non-Muslim country, she may be slightly less in danger of being killed, but her marriage to the Muslim man will in any case be finished. The man should divorce her and leave her. A Muslim man may be married to a Christian of Jewish woman, but not one that is considered a non-believer. If she leaves Islam, their marriage becomes null and void, because the Koran says: “Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives”
Muhammad has said that “war is deceit.” Lying to non-Muslims in permitted in Islam if this helps to advance the Islamic cause. Another quote by Muhammad is that to tell a lie is forbidden in Islam except on three occasions: In war, to reconcile two opposing parties and to your women. This means that non-Muslims, and non-Muslim women in particular, should never take anything said by Muslims at face value. To get some insight into what many Muslims really think of Western women, notice the extremely high number of rapes committed by Muslim immigrants in Western countries. If “Marie” had done more research before she got too involved with a Muslim man, perhaps she wouldn’t be a virtual prisoner in her own home now. It is possible for non-Muslim women to gather information from the Internet about the darker sides of Islamic culture, and learn from the bitter experiences made by others. If they fail to do so, they could find themselves entangled in something they cannot easily escape from, perhaps trapped in it for the rest of their lives.