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Fitzgerald: Muslims on planes

Jan 3, 2009 8:21 am By Hugh Fitzgerald

It is silly to ignore the way in which we now — reasonably, not irrationally — look at groups of easily identified Muslims on planes. They worry us. And why shouldn’t they? Who brought about this state of affairs? Actions by the group of people that makes Englishmen in London, Spanish people in Madrid, Russians in Moscow, Dutch — liberal, tolerant Dutch — in Amsterdam, Danes in Copenhagen, and of course Americans, worry when we see, on a plane, a group of six or seven bearded Muslim men, with women similarly attired according to the commands of Islam, so that none of these could be thought of as Muslim-for-identification-purposes-only Muslims.

It is irrational, it is absurd, to expect ordinary people, with the ordinary apprehensions, not to be worried, and not, if they overhear discussions by easily identifiable Muslims of the placement of engines and the safest place to sit, and other matters pertaining to airline safety, not to be alarmed. Flying is never easy. We already endure the nightmare of increased security, and the billions of man-hours now lost in arriving an extra hour or two early for every flight, man-hours that are directly attributable to Muslim plots, successful in some cases, unsuccessful in others.
Need one recall those three planes hijacked on 9/11/2001, two hitting the World Trade Center, one hitting the Pentagon, and a fourth sent plunging into a field in Pennsylvania, killing all aboard? Are we to forget all of the planes exploded in midair, such as that TWA plane near Athens, that the PLO took care of, or the Pan Am plane exploding over Lockerbie, or the Egyptian plane brought down by the co-pilot having his Sudden Jihad Syndrome, or all the other planes blown up, or seized (think of that Air France plane that ended up in Entebbe)? Are we to forget the plot that almost came off, to explode six or eight or ten planes over the Pacific simultaneously? What are we expected to overlook?

Would you, if you got on a plane with six or seven or eight bearded Muslims, with their wives in burqaed tow, and then overheard them talking about plane safety, not bring this to the attention of the plane crew? Would you not be more than mildly alarmed? Would you not, in fact, be in a state of deep unease, or even, in some cases, panic? If you weren’t, your sangfroid would not be widely shared.

Muslims must find flying just as uncomfortable, for different reasons. Imagine, for example, that you are a pious Muslim, being made to sit in an airplane seat next to someone who might just open his lunchbox and pull out a ham-and-cheese sandwich, or a bucket of ribs barbecued North Carolina style. Imagine that you are a Muslim woman being made to sit next to, or perhaps even between, two dangerous men. How would you gracefully go in and out without inadvertently having some part of your body perhaps touch some part of theirs, setting them all aflame? And still worse, still more unappealing, still more intolerable — so much so that it makes you, a good Muslim, want to scream in anguish — is the possibility that such men would be Infidels.

Here’s a solution. Given that oil-rich Muslim countries are moving heaven and earth to promote the cause of Islam and to make things as easy for Muslims in the West, making sure they can conduct their Muslim lives and establish themselves permanently deep behind what Muslims themselves are taught to consider enemy lines, the Dar al-Harb, should it be beyond the wit and pocketbook of these fabulously rich Arabs to pay for a worldwide Air Islam? If they won’t pay for a regular airline, they could at least spring for a collection of charters that will be for Muslims only, and on which only halal food will be served, and there will be no need to have any undue contact with Infidels — that toilet-seat, those faucets the “unclean” hands of “najis” Infidels have touched (if you are a Shi’a Muslim, anyway). The rich Arabs should simply have a fleet of planes, modest at first, and supplemented by planes that can be chartered — small or large. This will be that Air Islam.

That should satisfy everyone.

Or have I missed something?

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