This story is totally preposterous, but hey, it’s Friday afternoon. I just hope none of these jihad monkeys commit adultery:
“Narrated ‘Amr bin Maimun: ‘During the pre-lslamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them.'” — Bukhari 5.58.188
“Taliban training monkeys for Jihad?,” from PTI, July 14 (thanks to all who sent this in):
NEW YORK: The US-led forces fighting the Taliban fighters in Afghanistan might soon encounter ‘gun-totting’ monkeys, trained for ‘jihad’, if a rumour doing the rounds in the Chinese media is to be believed.
NATO officials and military experts have scoffed at the report originating in the Chinese media, which says that the Taliban are training monkeys to fight the US-led military.
The New York Post cited the state-run People’s Daily as saying that the Taliban is “training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops”.
“… the Taliban forces have tried any possible means and figured out a method to train monkeys as ‘replacement killers’ against American troops,” Stars and Stripes quoted the Chinese daily as saying.
The militants were arming the primates with AK-47 rifles, machine guns and trench mortars in the Waziristan tribal region bordering Pakistan and Afghanistan, it claimed.
The monkeys soldiers are being turned into snipers at a secret Taliban training base and are in turn being rewarded with ‘bananas and peanuts’….