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“I live in some demon’s castle…I am scared to practice my new religion openly”

Dec 29, 2011 7:58 am By Robert Spencer

I recently received this heartfelt email from a Pakistani who has converted from Islam to Christianity. It is like many others that I have received, and vividly illustrates the plight of apostates from Islam in Muslim countries — a group whose human rights no one cares about, as the world continues to devote attention to the chimera of “Islamophobia.”

This man told me to publish his name but I have decided not to do so, as doing so could get him killed. However, he is asking for help, help that I have no resources to give him, so if anyone reads this and can offer him some kind of assistance, please contact me at director[at]jihadwatch.org. (I have edited the grammar and spelling in the letter a bit for clarity.)

Dear sir,

I am a Pakistani who is a convert to Christianity, but I belong to a very strict religious family. My brother is Hafiz-e-Quran, my sister is alma fazla of Quran, and my dad and bro have beard, and my bro has a sound system business which he uses only for religious programs, not for songs or marriages.

I attend many Islamic programs with him, and from there I feel a bit strange when I see how big big religious people who talk about Islam in front of 1000’s of people behave when they are alone backstage, and what their true face is, and how they fight with one another and talk shit about one another, and do not even care about Islam, which is their own religion — and they are supposedly responsible for this religion.

So this forced me to think about many things, about religion. And in Lahore where I live, there is a big Christian community. Some friends with whom I grew up and studied belong to Christian families.

I talked with some friends in Europe who are Christian, and I talked with them about Christianity and Islam, and I have seen some videos, too, in which Christian scholars talk with Muslim scholars about religion, and the Muslim scholars cannot answer about many things that are written about in the Bible.

And it’s true: once my dad saw me coming out of a church in Lahore with a Christian friend, and he was so angry, and he punished me. I ran away from my family. I have some relatives in Greece, my uncle and some cousins, and my dad’s cousins. There are around 15 family members here, but even in Greece it was hard to practice my new religion openly because I was living with them, and in a new country with a new language. The situation in Greece is that they cannot protect us, because Greece is full of Muslim immigrants, and my relatives have been living here for 10 or 15 years, and thousands of people know them, and know me too. They know my family background and that I am a Muslim, so I kept my new religion secret and I tried to apply for asylum — if I could get some papers, I can study and can go to any other place. But my uncle was with me when I applied, so I didn’t tell them about my Christianity. And for 6 years I have had nothing.

Today I was reading your website, and I felt some relief, that there was someone who could understand my situation and could help me. I am making up my mind to go back to Pakistan, because life in Greece is the same as it is in Pakistan: no jobs, no freedom, no protection. I don’t know what to do here; I feel as if I am imprisoned by my Muslim relatives. But in Pakistan it will be even harder for me to show my faith in Jesus.

I don’t know what to do or where to go, or what kind of religion I was born into. I feel as if I am less near to God but more in fear of death, as I live in some demon’s castle. I wrote some emails to the British and Canadian high embassies in Pakistan, and am writing to you, too.

I am scared to practice my new religion openly. I am not even a convert openly. I am just reading the Bible. My wish is to practice my beliefs as a Christian openly, but it’s not possible because of my family and Islamic law. My own family and even the people of Pakistan will kill me, as they have killed the governor of Punjab. His own policeman killed him because the governor was helping a Christian woman.

I am educated, 28 years old. I need help from you if you know some church where I can live and study, and can covert openly. I don’t know if you can help me or not, but some friends told me that I could write to some countries such as Canada and the USA, or European countries that can help Christians, and I do not know any one in Pakistan who will be able to help me.

I don’t even know if you will read this email or not, but I wish Jesus would help me, and if I got a kind answer from you, I would be thankful. Or if you can refer me to some church, some Christian NGO. I want to write my feelings more and some black secrets of those Islamic mullahs, but i guess my email is so long and you have very precious time. God bless you, and I will wait for your kind answer.

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Filed Under: Apostasy, Pakistan


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