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Allah arrested for theft of 300-year-old Stradivarius violin worth $6,000,000

Feb 6, 2014 7:25 pm By Robert Spencer

Allah

The chap pictured above is Mr. Universal K. Allah, suspect in the theft of this violin. (His middle name is Knowledge.) This story has nothing to do with jihad, as far as I know, but I couldn’t help but wonder, as I pondered this gentleman’s marvelous name, if Allah, frustrated over Muhammad’s failure to do away with all musical instruments as he had commanded him to do, decided that he had to take matters in his own hands.

“The Prophet said that Allah commanded him to destroy all the musical instruments…” — Hadith Qudsi 19:5

Muhammad also said: “Allah Mighty and Majestic sent me as a guidance and mercy to believers and commanded me to do away with musical instruments, flutes, strings, crucifixes, and the affair of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance.” — ‘Umdat al-Salik r40.0

Now here it is nearly 1,400 years after Muhammad’s traditional death date, and musical instruments proliferate. This violin theft could have been just the beginning of the judgment of Allah, as he seized and destroyed every last musical instrument, one by one. Luckily, police found this violin intact and arrested Allah, so Infidels everywhere can breath easier and consider their flutes and lyres and saxophones and pianos and flugelhorns safe from the wrath of Allah.

“UPDATE: Milwaukee police identify Stradivarius robbery suspects,” by Shakara Robinson for CBS58.com, February 6 (thanks to Bill):

MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee police have announced the names of the people they believe stole a 300-year-old Stradivarius violin worth six million dollars. Police have also confirmed the recovery of the rare violin.

36-year-old Universal Allah, 41-year-old Salah Jones and an unnamed female were arrested by Milwaukee police on February 3rd. The Milwaukee County District Attorney’s Office plans to have charges filed and a criminal complaint issued by February 7th.

Police believe the trio robbed Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra Concertmaster Frank Almond of the Stradivarius violin after a concert at Wisconsin Lutheran College on January 27th around 10:20 p.m. Police say Almond was approached by two of the suspects in a parking lot and tased. Almond dropped the violin, and the suspects stole the expensive violin. The victim reported to police the suspects were a man and a woman.

Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn says his department contacted taser vendors, and were able to use information obtained to find one of the suspects.

Police executed a five search warrants in search of the violin without finding anything. Universal Allah told investigators the violin was hidden in a house on E. Smith St. Police found the violin hidden inside a suitcase located in the house’s attic. Allah told police the owner of the home had no idea the violin was in his that house.

Allah is all-knowing, wise.

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Comments

  1. Champ says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    His name is “Mr. Universal Knowledge Allah” …lol! gee is that his real name? 😀

    Wow another mohammedan ‘SOA’ whose sold his soul to the devil …my he has chosen *most* unwisely!

    ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

    “Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!” — Psalm 150:1-6

    ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

  2. Softly Bob says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Universal Knowledge Allah is the biggest oxymoron of a name ever.
    Universal Stupidity Allah would be far more appropriate.

    • mortimer says

      Feb 6, 2014 at 8:29 pm

      Allah was moronic in the Koran, even more moronic on the streets! YOU CAN’T SELL AN OBJECT WITH A PROVENANCE! NO ONE WILL BUY IT.

    • Transmaster says

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:32 am

      Talk about stupid, This is one of those cases the name must sound better in Arabic then English, The direct translation of this stalwart of stupidities name is “God’s global knowledge” Mr. Knowledge must have skipped class when Allah was teaching about violins.

    • hellosnackbar says

      Feb 8, 2014 at 6:47 am

      Universal knowledge is a comical irony based on the nonsense in this moron’s head!
      There should be an international debate with respect to the inculcated psychopathy of mad Muslim dogma!

  3. jihad3tracker says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    Finally !!! A bit of comic relief for us in the counter-jihad struggle.

  4. Salah says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Muslim monkeys and pigs???

    Muslims who will consider the use of musical instruments, as lawful, will be crushed by mountains. The rest of them will be transformed into monkeys and pigs. (Bukhari 7.69.494)

    http://crossmuslims.blogspot.com/2011/09/stoned-by-monkeys.html

    • Brit says

      Feb 7, 2014 at 10:22 am

      They must all have “considered the use of musical instruments” then, because they’re all monkeys and pigs already… lol!

  5. dumbledoresarmy says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    There are two possibilities.

    One is that this was a ‘crime of opportunity’ – two thugs randomly robbed a musician and just happened to luck onto a Stradivarius. I don’t really believe that.

    Presumably it’s public knowledge in Milwaukee that this particular person in this particular orchestra possesses a very valuable and historic violin. And it’s not hard to look up someone on line, so you can recognise them; or to check a concert schedule, with locations.

    So I suspect that the attack was targeted.

    My guess is that they didn’t intend to try to pawn it, or sell it on the black market; I would guess that they planned to hold it to ransom, theatening to destroy it if X amount of $$$ wasn’t paid. Or maybe they stole it on behalf of *someone else* who was going to hold it to ransom.

  6. London Jim says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    I picked up a Strad once in hard-bitten times of yore. .was tempted, and walked 24 yards with it before a pang of conscience hit me . . .then I returned it to its rightful owner and begged his forgiveness for having been such a fool. . . That was a bit of a turning point in my life.

    • London Jim says

      Feb 6, 2014 at 10:51 pm

      . .a ”poacher turned gamekeeper” moment, as my dad is wont to say.

      • fair_dinkum says

        Feb 6, 2014 at 11:02 pm

        thats a great story in itself mate… and funny when i picture it .

        yeah i am guessing that someone has pointed out the violin is worth $6 million.. and theyve stolen it and havent known what to do with it.. it may as well be a faberge egg or an original van gogh to them.

  7. Montedoro44 says

    Feb 6, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    Do away with the damned flutes and strings!
    And behead any person who sings!
    Every band, every choir
    Gets thrown in the fire!
    In Islam it’s just one of those things.

    • Always On Watch says

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      Excellent limerick!

  8. Gres says

    Feb 7, 2014 at 4:19 am

    Yeah,Allah is a phucked POS,don’t let your instruments somewhere.
    Universal Allah what a joke.It’s NO fan in i’Slam.

  9. Always On Watch says

    Feb 7, 2014 at 7:49 am

    The story made the mainstream news here in the D.C. area, but not the thief’s name.

  10. Always On Watch says

    Feb 7, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Criminal charges to be filed against Allah? It’s about time!

  11. andrew sapia says

    Feb 7, 2014 at 9:30 am

    He is a 5 per center, Google it, it related to Nation of Islam stuff some sort of sect. It’s very big in prison and in the ghetto. Funny thing is that these people are all total infidels according to suni or shia or any traditional islam. They would definitely be killed over in Pakistan.

  12. andrew sapia says

    Feb 7, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Sounds like 5 percenter to me. The Five-Percent Nation, sometimes referred to as NGE or NOGE, the Nation of Gods and Earths, or the Five Percenters is an American organization founded in 1964 in the Harlem section of the borough of Manhattan, New York City, by a former member of the Nation of Islam named Clarence 13X (born Clarence Ernest[citation needed] Smith and later known as “Allah the Father”). Clarence 13X, a former student of Malcolm X, left the Nation after a theological dispute with the Nation’s leaders over the nature and identity of God.[1] Specifically, Clarence 13X denied that the Nation’s biracial founder W. Fard Muhammad was God (“Allah”) and instead taught each man was himself God personified.[

  13. Kepha says

    Feb 7, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    The guy in the picture probably has as much to do with garden variety Islam of either the Sunnite, Shi’tie, ‘Ibadi, or Ahmadi varieties as Sakyamuni Gautama has to do with the extinction of the Columbian mammoth. I’m not defending Islam (as a Christian, I can’t), but Mr. Universal Knowledge Allah is simply one more petty criminal with delusions of grandeur. He’d be better named “Legion”, after the demon Jesus chased out of a man and into a herd of Gadarene swine.

    • Champ says

      Feb 8, 2014 at 2:54 am

      Indeed, Kepha!

  14. gravenimage says

    Feb 8, 2014 at 12:32 am

    Allah arrested for theft of 300-year-old Stradivarius violin worth $6,000,000

    The chap pictured above is Mr. Universal K. Allah, suspect in the theft of this violin. (His middle name is Knowledge.) This story has nothing to do with jihad, as far as I know…
    ………………………..

    Well, yes and no. Many pious Muslims consider robbing Infidels to be a valid form of “street Jihad”, and believe that it is perfectly Islamic to live off the Kuffar.

    As for his being a member of the “Five Percent Nation” and not being considered mainstream islam, I have to admit I don’t much care.

    Black Muslims—the Nation of Islam and all their offshoots—may not be orthodox Islam. But I have noticed that they are just as vicious and violent as their more mainstream coreligionists.

    Your Black Muslim Bakery in Oakland, California was yet another off-shoot of the Nation of Islam, and they were involved with pedophilia, forced marriage, torture, theft, homicidal internecine power struggles, and the murder of unbelievers, apostates, and critics—in other words, they were just as Islamic as could be—in all the ways that really count.

  15. Kepha says

    Feb 8, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    OK, Gravenimage, I don’t like the NOI, either.

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