Imagine his disappointment. But this indicates yet again how Islamic State jihadis are guided and motivated entirely by Islamic texts and teachings.
“Antsy ISIS militant orders his own killing so he can get to heaven on time,” Fox News, May 13, 2016:
An Islamic State fighter captured in Iraq last week reportedly begged Kurdish troops to kill him right away because he didn’t want to be late for a 4 p.m. religious ceremony in heaven.
Kurdish Peshmerga forces captured the militant after he and 49 others were sent out by ISIS for a suicide bombing attack in the Christian town of Tel Askuf coinciding with an Islamic holy day, according to The Clarion Project.
“They were supposed to commit suicide using their suicide belts because today is the anniversary of the Isra and Mi’iraj celebration,” Peshmerga Lt. Col. Salim ak-Surji reportedly told the Turkish News Agency Rudaw.
“He told me ‘all of us must be in heaven by 4 p.m., kill me,” the officer said.
The day marks Prophet Muhammad’s ascension to heaven to receive instruction form Allah….

CogitoErgoSum says
Which time zone does Allah go by and does he observe daylight savings time?
Westman says
And where can we find the Martyrdom Schedule? Does it run on time?
Why does one always find Islam and stupidity in close proximity?
Carmel says
Too bad anyone told us , With a couple of kalashs we could have send many millions .
LMM says
ROFLMAO!!
Sog says
I wonder if they tell their Moms they’re going to pick one, and settle down.
More Ham Ed says
“Oh, you never said ‘kill the infidels’ ?” as he stands before the Lord of Hosts on judgement day, as he stands at the edge of a lake of fire.
Wellington says
Yes, that’s correct. Many of such people are called “Muslims.”
Zub says
How to spell the word “sucker”…. M U S L I M.
That concludes today’s spelling lesson.
mortimer says
Absurd. The doctrine of eternal sexual rewards for committing murder is one of the most incredible teachings of Islam.
If it were not so shameful and exploitative, it would be humorous.
Allah has called Muslims to be bounty hunters to kill those who disbelieve Mohammed the pedophile and pirate. In exchange for these murders, Allah grants eternal sex with slaves in paradise.
Sexual slavery is the core teaching of Islam.
Jay Boo says
BE Specific mort
Correction for the great Islamic scholar Mortimer
That should be spelled (Muhammad) with the addition of apostle of Allah or prophet of Islam then add pedophile and pirate.
For someone with your vast knowledge of Islam this is in-excusable.
Otherwise, trolls like Ismail will pretend to mock Islam’s prophet while allowing an out of thinking to themselves that they are referring to their Muslim neighbor Mohammed who they call a pedophile rather than Muhammad Apostle of Allah whom they revere greatly.
Not good enough.
Wellington says
But here’s the single goofiest part in all this Islamic nonsense: Once a Muzzie male in Paradise has sex with one of his 72 virgins, she is immediately, Allah be praised, revirginized.
Can’t make this stuff up. Wouldn’t want to. But it’s a hoot nonetheless. Too bad it comes with lots of killing and maiming here on earth. Yeah, what a damn shame.
Message to all Muslims. Yes, ALL MUSLIMS. You’ve been had. Big time. Reconsider. Besides, you’re all such a drag to us infidels here on earth. And remember you Muzzie guys out there, it might not be virgins after all but raisins. Just sayin’.
Infidels of the world unite says
IMHO, it just doesn’t make sense.
A virgin, by definition, is a woman who has never had sexual intercourse. After intercourse, she is not a virgin anymore.
KnowThyEnemy says
It would make sense once you realize that ‘truth’ and ‘logic’ do not have same meanings in Islam as they do in a sane, real world. Read this article for some crazy details-
http://www.weneedtotalkaboutislam.com/#!Islam-and-the-Truth-The-Ultimate-Dichotomy/c193z/571e0bb30cf2dcaa530df9f9
Azacque says
Don’t be so goofy as to think there is a heaven for any nmuslim, they all face eternal seperation from GOD
Azacque says
Just push him off a high roof, bullets are expensive.
Guest says
Execute them! They want to die and we want them to die. Everyone’s a winner!
Mo says
How deceived these death cultists are.
Islam has got to be the most vile, evil ideology ever invented. It truly is from hell itself.
Lizzy says
Proof, if it is needed, that the inmates are running the asylum.
Islamics are utterly bonkers. There is no rational solution in dealing with these crazed idiots. It would be a kindness to put them down as in the case of rabid dogs.
Amir Dewana says
Ridiculous. Islam teaches its male followers that it prohibits female sexiness _or prettiness so to speak exactly_ in its most trivial manifestation. In my opinion, sexiness is not limited to and does not necessarily mean nakedness.
What would a moslem clergyman be saying while quoting verses of the Koran about a pretty Miss World-type woman in satin pencil gown? She is not naked, almost wholly wrapped up from shoulder to knees? And she is not making any seductive or sexually provocative gestures. He would be saying ‘haram’. So women are clothed in burqas that only their eyes are to be seen.
Is there sex in the hereafter? I am sure there is no sex at all. Sex only exists on earth. I imagine being the Kurdish captors willing to put the ISIS guys to death (SORRY, I am not this kind of person), saying, “Well, you may die now. But those who will kill you are Kurdish female fighters so you won’t go to heaven but to hell. And they will also kill you in the same fashion (???) that your ISIS folks kill your enemies. OK, are you willing?
They have been indoctrinated that getting killed by a female enemy fighter may result in their death not being rewarded with going to heaven. They will go to hell. In hell there is no virgin waiting for sex with moslem martyrs, but an everlasting inferno.
Let those guys live and suggest that the UN establish an extraordinarily special(ized) tribunal that will put them on trial. No death penalty will be practiced and handed down on them other than incarceration for life. The world will see what kind of man they are and what kind of civilization they represent and offer to the
world.
Michael Johnson says
That’s just what motivates these Muslims death when they are captured they should be left alive to rot in a military prison and watch there Quran and mosque get burned down as a reminder of a Christian and western defeat of Islam
Judi says
I hope they granted him his wish.
celticwarriorcanada says
My question for the Kurds is : After all the atrocities they have witnessed, how do they restrain themselves from granting these barbarians their wish ? and making it Extremely Long, Agonizing and Painful !!!
ElderlyZionist says
This story reminds me of an old joke:
Masochist: “Please hit me, beat me, hurt me!”
Sadist: “No.”
Angemon says
XD
duh_swami says
Allah didn’t promise paradise to everyone…Allah hates a failure…The jihasi is right to beg…but it will do him little good…
unbeliever1 says
Why are these virgins not covered ?
Mac says
I know it’s not PC to make the following statement but… since these muslim dogs believe so much in their koran why not produce ammo and bombs manufactured with swine (pig) guts and blood. That way once they die they are also defiled and will not get their virgins or get to their heaven? Just saying..
Florida Jim says
Where he and his friends are going is to met and spend eternity with their Father Satan it will be HELL for all.
Walter Sieruk says
This jihadist of ISIS actually begged for death because “he didn’t want to be late for the 4 pm religious ceremony in heaven.” does. very ,much show just how extremely delusional they are. The so do deluded ,irrational and warped their thought process because of the false doctrines of the Koran and other written works of Islam, such as the hadiths . This religious delusion caused by Islam with is religious stories ,such a a paradise full of earthly pleasures is as enticing as it is deceiving to some people. As for interesting but untrue religious stories the Bible warns against listening to and believing in them. No matter how enticing such stories may be. For the Bible warns against giving “heed to fables…” First Timothy 1:4. [K.J V] Furthermore, Such religious falsehoods to death. Not only physical death ,as in suicide/bombing but even worse yet spiritual death . Meaning that spiritual death which is separation between God and a person Which is eternal death. This eternal death is existing in suffering forever trapped in Lake of Fire .This tragic outcome is also called “the second death.” Revelations 21:8. Moreover as the this firm belief of the jihadist of ISIS in Islam with all of it’s false doctrines is very sad A sincere but belief in a false way to God.,This is sincere, but wrong, belief in a false religion. As in this case of that ISIS member. is a situation of spiritual folly and falsehood. For example ,the Bible teaches in Proverbs 14:12. “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man ,bu the end thereof are the ways of death.” {K.J.V.] This Islamic foolishness a total tragically.
Jay Boo says
Walter save your KJV’s
It is real simple. Muslims are depressed and suicidal.
reticulan5 says
How come the girls in Heaven don’t need to wear Hijab or Burka.
TopDrifter says
These so called “Fighters” (Terrorists) are naught but “evil”. One does not have to be Christian, Hebrew, Buddha, Sikh, Hindu or any other so-called religion to recognize “Evil”…and, Atheist’s are necessarily not heretics or sinners, they simply don’t believe in the same thing as Religious Zealot’s do. I’ve not heard, seen or read of any report where an Atheist has killed others because of their belief. It’s simple freedom, the freedom not to believe in some evil higher power that demands obedience. Religion has been the seed for warfare since time immortal, making other people believe what is demanded by God is the sport of humans, Islam is an “Evil”, “Evil” lifestyle, carried on by a group of inbred morons for the past thousands of years. It is designed to eventually be the only Religion on planet Earth and the sooner everyone else realize this the sooner we can collectively combat it. So stop jabbing each other on what you want each other to believe and get with the program, in other words, “get your heads our of your collective ass’ and get some fresh air…” Let us unite and defeat this “Evil” that is spreading through our world at such an alarming rate!
RightStuff44 says
Nicolai Sennels’ work says it all. It is inbred insanity.
Baconator says
Off with his testicles so that he doesn’t get to enjoy the 72 buxom hourisin the Quranic Viagradise.
LF says
Just seen that the jihadi truck driver in Nice was killed by a police woman. Oops! He won’t be able to go into the magic land in the sky now and see all the magic men.
Eternal fire in another magic land it is then with no poor virgins to molest. Just a lake of fire. Dam that police woman
Maybe he might stay in limbo on earth with the tooth fairy and father Christmas and women who miraculously conceive. They could all find the end of the rainbow and get that big pot off gold and live happily ever after for eternity.