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Islamicize Me Day 3: Wax On, Wax Off

May 19, 2018 8:00 am By David Wood

On Day 3 of “Islamicize Me,” our heroes learn how to groom themselves properly for Allah! (Hint: Allah wants beards on top, but not on bottom!)

To visit Vocab’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/vocabmalone

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Filed Under: Islamicize Me


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Comments

  1. jihad3tracker says

    May 19, 2018 at 9:32 am

    Uh oh ! You are not in Rotherham — Trump country might decide that a watch list is 3 names short of completion .

    • BC says

      May 20, 2018 at 11:16 am

      Now we know where the allahu akbar comes from it obviously means “f*ck that hurts”

  2. revereridesagain says

    May 19, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    Kidding aside, this is AWESOME.

    And comforting to know that Muslim males (they have no ‘men’) have been having to do this for 1400 years.

    • jihad3tracker says

      May 19, 2018 at 1:19 pm

      DAVID WOOD’S appearance is so convincing that apparently a jinn sneaked into his home through a carelessly ignored keyhole and is now controlling his fashion choices.

      • BC says

        May 20, 2018 at 11:19 am

        It is not enough just to be a Muslim, everybody has to know you are a Muslim. Of course the women have to go the whole ‘hog’ and disappear completely from the male world

    • Richard says

      May 24, 2018 at 3:07 am

      Yes, it’s a howl! Whoever did this should get an award, to say the least.

  3. CogitoErgoSum says

    May 19, 2018 at 12:42 pm

    Now I can appreciate even more what Christ meant when He said, “My yoke is easy and my burden it light.”

  4. JawsV says

    May 19, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    Screw allah! There is no allah. allah is Muhammed. Take your effing beards and shove it!

  5. Mockingjay says

    May 19, 2018 at 7:05 pm

    You guys look so much like real muslims, its scary.

    – But what about them sunglasses? – Don’t think mahammad had sunglasses. – Are sunglasses even hallal?

    • CogitoErgoSum says

      May 19, 2018 at 9:03 pm

      And what about that dog at the very end?

      • gravenimage says

        Jun 17, 2018 at 1:03 am

        Don’t worry–the boys take care of Mr. Scruffles soon enough…

  6. WESTPAC Spy says

    May 19, 2018 at 8:58 pm

    My pubes hurt.

  7. Flavius Claudius Iulianus says

    May 20, 2018 at 1:12 am

    David Wood yelling “allah u akbar” at the sight of waxed armpit hairs. LOL LOL

    BTW, never, never, never get yourselves waxed guys. It is SOOOOO painful.

    • gravenimage says

      Jun 17, 2018 at 1:13 am

      Ha ha

  8. dumbledoresarmy says

    May 20, 2018 at 4:44 am

    I knew all about this already. I learned it from Aussie journalist Geraldine Brooks, who was instructed on this subject by a group of Hezbollah wives that she met in a posh hotel in Beirut.

    From her book “Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women” (1995). Chapter 1, “The Holy Veil”. –

    “I’d asked Hamideh to arrange a meeting for me with the women of Lebanon’s Hezbollah. The group’s strongholds were the Bekaa VAlley and Beirut’s southern suburbs – no-go areas for Western journalists since the kidnapping of the Associated Press bureau chief, Terry Anderson. I wanted to ask about Anderson… To meet the women said to be married to his captors seemed like the best chance I’d ever have to get information for his desperate family.
    “In the end, I learned nothing about his plight (of course – dda) but meeting the women was instructive in other ways. They invited me to join them that evening for tea in their suite, provided that I promised not to name them in any articles I wrote.
    “When the door opened to my knock I thought I had the wrong room. The woman in front of me had frosted blond hair streaming to her waist. She wore a silk negligee with a deep plunge neckline. On the bed behind her, another woman lay languidly in a bust-hugging slit-sided scarlet satin night-gown.
    “**Through the filmy fabrics it was obvious that their bodies were completely hairless, like Barbie dolls** (my emphasis – dda).
    “It was, they explained, sunnat, or Islamically recommended, for married women to remove all body hair every twenty days. The traditional depilatory was a paste of sugar and lemon that tugged the hairs out by the roots.
    “Muslim men, they said, also should remove their body hair. For men the recommended time between depilation is forty days.” END QUOTE.

    So: there it is. Allah, it seems, doesn’t like body hair on women *or* men. Not under the arms, not between the legs, not *anywhere*. And so men and women have to make themselves totally hairless from the neck down… like prepubescent children. Or, as Geraldine Brooks put it, ‘like Barbie dolls’.

    Note also the fact that this – VERY painful process, especially using traditional methods – is supposed to be inflicted on *women* **every twenty days** whereas men – who are hairier than women – get away with doing it every *forty* days. Typical Islam: making life harder for women than for men.

    The whole thing is beyond creepy.

    Combine *that* with the obsessive concealment of women’s *head hair*, the ban on women plucking their eyebrows, and the bristly unkempt beards – but with the upper lip shaven – permitted for *men*, and you have … more weird.

    • CogitoErgoSum says

      May 20, 2018 at 9:50 am

      The women should be like prepubescent children. That would make them more similar in appearance to Aisha when she was 9. Muhammad liked that. He liked it very much … and so would any pedophile.

  9. WESTPAC Spy says

    May 21, 2018 at 2:38 am

    I don’t know what to say to this. Except. Allahu Akbar!

  10. gravenimage says

    Jun 16, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    Islamicize Me Day 3: Wax On, Wax Off
    ……………………..

    *Hilarious*!

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