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Islamicize Me Day 19: The Gang Gets Breastfed!

Jun 4, 2018 11:33 am By David Wood

On Day 19, Lil’ Debbie converts to Islam, and the gang must seek the wisdom of Allah and Muhammad in dealing with temptation!

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Comments

  1. mortimer says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 11:43 am

    Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3396:
    ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Fosterage makes unlawful what consanguinity makes unlawful.

    Book 008, Number 3414:
    ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her), Suwaid and Zubair reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: One suckling or two do not make (marriage) unlawful.

    Book 008, Number 3421:
    ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with, her) reported that it had been revealed in the Holy Qur’an that ten clear sucklings make the marriage unlawful, then it was abrogated (and substituted) by five sucklings and Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) died and it was before that time (found) in the Holy Qur’an (and recited by the Muslims).
    Read this next hadith close and carefully, between the lines.

    Book 008, Number 3424:
    ‘ A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Sahla bint Suhail came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be eupon him) and said: Messengerof Allah, I see on the face of Abu Hudhaifa (signs of disgust) on entering of Salim (who is an ally) into (our house), whereupon Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: Suckle him. She said: How can I suckle him as he is a grown-up man? Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) smiled and said: I already know that he is a young man ‘Amr has made this addition in his narration that he participated in the Battle of Badr and in the narration of Ibn ‘Umar (the words are): Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) laughed.
    The sequel will make it clear for you, filling in the gaps.

    Book 30, Number 30.2.13: Yahya related to me from Malik that Abdullah ibn Dinar said, “A man came to Abdullah ibn Umar when I was with him at the place where judgments were given and asked him about the suckling of an older person. Abdullah ibn Umar replied, ‘A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and said, ‘I have a slave-girl and I used to have intercourse with her. My wife went to her and suckled her. When I went to the girl, my wife told me to watch out, because she had suckled her!’ Umar told him to beat his wife and to go to his slave-girl because kinship by suckling was only by the suckling of the young.’ ”

    Book 008, Number 3425:
    ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Salim, the freed slave of Abu Hadhaifa, lived with him and his family in their house. She (i. e. the daughter of Suhail came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) and said: Salim has attained (purbety) as men attain, and he understands what they understand, and he enters our house freely, I, however, perceive that something (rankles) in the heart of Abu Hudhaifa, whereupon Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) said to her: Suckle him and you would become unlawful for him, and (the rankling) which Abu Hudhaifa feels in his heart will disappear. She returned and said: So I suckled him, and what (was there) in the heart of Abu Hudhaifa disappeared.

  2. Linda says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    So all three are one big happy family now, but what about Jamal? Will he marry L’il Debbie or does he just want to be her relative, too?

    • David Wood says

      Jun 4, 2018 at 12:29 pm

      Jamal is convinced that he’s lactose intolerant, because he got sick after eating cereal with a fly in it.

      • Linda says

        Jun 4, 2018 at 2:01 pm

        That presents a real problem if he doesn’t breastfeed, he’ll have to marry her or he won’t be allowed to be around her.

      • boakai ngombu says

        Jun 4, 2018 at 5:34 pm

        when he was burped, it seems that “Dennis” had downed a double portion … maybe Jamal’s portion?.

      • gravenimage says

        Jun 4, 2018 at 9:06 pm

        Thank you, David Wood! 🙂

    • boakai ngombu says

      Jun 4, 2018 at 1:06 pm

      i wondered that, too.

      in the meantime, L’il Debbie is a denigrated woman in the house; she’s been made to be a “milkmachine.”

      • Linda says

        Jun 4, 2018 at 1:13 pm

        I just hope someone told her the behave herself so she doesn’t dishonour the gang or she’ll meet the same fate as Mr. Scruffles.

        • Linda says

          Jun 4, 2018 at 1:15 pm

          Sorry, that’s “to behave herself”, not “the”.

  3. Linda says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 12:42 pm

    If this series is only on for Ramadan, I’ll almost be sorry when Ramadan is over. (I said “almost”). This would be a great sitcom if it weren’t based of Muslim reality.

  4. Mark Spahn (West Seneca, NY) says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Notice the Starbucks cup at 6:09. Did the recent Starbucks anti-racism, anti-sexism training day cover adult breastfeeding among their male and female baristas?

  5. F Middleton says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Islam never ceases to amaze, its like a Rick and Morty script.

  6. Mo says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    Uh, oh. I’m afraid to watch this one!

  7. gravenimage says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 8:13 pm

    Islamicize Me Day 19: The Gang Gets Breastfed!
    ………………….

    I love the second scene, with David Wood’s character rocking back and forth spastically–I have only ever seen this with severe autism, extreme trauma, and Islam.

    Even funnier is seeing “Giovanni” dipping cookies into the breast milk, putting it in his coffee, and adding chocolate syrup. Just hilarious!

    But what really led me to laugh out loud is Lil’ Debbie burping “Dennis” and his spitting up. Gross, but so funny!

    • Linda says

      Jun 4, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      We will all be Islamized once this series is over.

      • gravenimage says

        Jun 4, 2018 at 9:07 pm

        Well, yes–but only as much as David Wood and the gang are, Linda! Works for me…

  8. jewdog says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 8:39 pm

    No wonder I don’t like milkshakes.

  9. Flavius Claudius Iulianus says

    Jun 4, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    I distinctly heard Li’l Debbie mess up the shahada.
    So when you mispronounce the shahada are you still converted or do you stay a kufar? Or do you go straight to being an apostate?
    Maybe she’s already converted because some believe that when a Mohammadan man has sex with a kufar woman, she is automatically converted…

  10. mary says

    Jun 5, 2018 at 1:29 am

    I just wish each daily episode was available at 1:00am. I hate waiting for the morning for the posting. I am addicted!

  11. Johm says

    Jun 5, 2018 at 6:59 am

    This is really stupid ! Only monkeys and dogs participate in it !

  12. Carol the 1st says

    Jun 5, 2018 at 10:09 am

    Something’s “off” (not necessarily the milk). How do you get milk from a woman unless she’s still nursing a baby? Are muslimas so often pregnant that the milk flows with barely a stop? Or do they have “dry runs”?

  13. Mark says

    Jun 7, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    This is unbelievable, Repent, Apoligise and remove. This brings no glory to God and is unacceptable!

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