So many laughs in the Qur’an! Here are a few:
“And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out; persecution is worse than slaughter. But fight them not by the Holy Mosque until they should fight you there; then, if they fight you, kill them — such is the recompense of unbelievers, but if they give over, surely Allah is all-forgiving, all-compassionate. Fight them until there is no persecution and the religion is Allah’s; then if they give over, there shall be no enmity save for evildoers.” (Qur’an 2:191-193)
“They wish that you should disbelieve as they disbelieve, and then you would be equal; therefore do not take friends from among them, until they emigrate in the way of Allah; then, if they turn their backs, seize them and kill them wherever you find them; do not take for yourselves any one of them as friend or helper.” (Qur’an 4:89)
“This is the recompense of those who fight against Allah and His Messenger, and hasten about the earth to do corruption there: they shall be killed, or crucified, or their hands and feet shall be struck off on opposite sides; or they shall be exiled from the land. That is a degradation for them in this world; and in the world to come awaits them a mighty chastisement.” (Qur’an 5:33)
“When your Lord was revealing to the angels, ‘I am with you; so confirm the believers. I shall cast terror into the hearts of the unbelievers; so strike the necks, and strike every finger of them!” (Qur’an 8:12)
“Fight them, till there is no persecution and religion is all for Allah; then if they give over, surely Allah sees the things they do.” (Qur’an 8:39)
“Make ready for them whatever force and strings of horses you can, to strike terror into the enemy of Allah and your enemy, and others besides them that you know not; Allah knows them. And whatever you spend in the way of Allah shall be repaid you in full; you will not be wronged.” (Qur’an 8:60)
“Then, when the sacred months are over, kill the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them, and confine them, and lie in wait for them at every place of ambush. But if they repent, and perform the prayer, and pay the alms, then let them go their way; Allah is All-forgiving, All-compassionate.” (Qur’an 9:5)
“Fight those who believe not in Allah and the Last Day and do not forbid what Allah and His Messenger have forbidden, and do not practice the religion of truth, even if they are of the People of the Book — until they pay the jizya with willing submission and feel themselves subdued.” (Qur’an 9:29)
“Allah has bought from the believers their selves and their possessions against the gift of Paradise; they fight in the way of Allah; they kill, and are killed; that is a promise binding upon Allah in the Torah, and the Gospel, and the Koran; and who fulfils his covenant truer than Allah? So rejoice in the bargain you have made with Him; that is the mighty triumph.” (Qur’an 9:111)
“O believers, fight the unbelievers who are near to you; and let them find in you a harshness; and know that Allah is with the godfearing.” (Qur’an 9:123)
“When you meet the unbelievers, strike their necks, then, when you have made wide slaughter among them, tie fast the bonds; then set them free, either by grace or ransom, till the war lays down its loads. So it shall be; and if Allah had willed, He would have avenged Himself upon them; but that He may try some of you by means of others. And those who are slain in the way of Allah, He will not send their works astray.” (Qur’an 47:4)
And more laughs regarding terrorism in particular:
“We will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve for what they have associated with Allah of which He had not sent down authority. And their refuge will be the Fire, and wretched is the residence of the wrongdoers.” (Qur’an 3:151)
“When your Lord inspired to the angels, ‘I am with you, so strengthen those who have believed. I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieved, so strike upon the necks and strike from them every fingertip.’” (Qur’an 8:12)
“And prepare against them whatever you are able of power and of steeds of war by which you may terrify the enemy of Allah and your enemy and others besides them whom you do not know, whom Allah knows. And whatever you spend in the cause of Allah will be fully repaid to you, and you will not be wronged.” (Qur’an 8:60)
How have Muslims throughout history understood these passages? They took them as meaning “Give the unbelievers a big hug, chuck them on the shoulder, and buy them a chocolate malt,” right? Unfortunately, the historical record is not quite so full of laughter and sunshine. Find out how Muslims throughout history have actually understood the Qur’an’s exhortations to warfare in my new book, The History of Jihad From Muhammad to ISIS, which you can preorder here.
“Comedian Eshaan Akbar: ‘I want people to see the funny side of the Koran,'” by Samuel Fishwick, Evening Standard, July 25, 2018:
Eshaan Akbar is a diplomatic provocateur.
The 33-year-old stand-up is one of the BBC Asian Network’s latest breakout talents. He first made waves on the comedy circuit supporting Micky Flanagan on tour in 2014 but now he’s wading into choppier waters. His latest set-piece, Prophet Like It’s Hot, aims to show the Koran “is actually quite funny” at the Edinburgh Fringe.
“If someone kills me for doing this, which a lot of people are worried about, I think it will at least make people sit up and take notice,” says Akbar, tucking into a halloumi burger at Bill’s in Kensington. “I don’t know if I want to die for my job — I’ve got plenty more shows left in me — but what a legacy that would leave, eh?”
Dangerously funny, maybe. But there’s plenty of humour to be found in religion, a fact that’s crucial to the show’s mandate of demystifying Islam. “Comedy is an integral part of making people think and feel differently about issues,” he says. “I want people to be challenged, have conversations and feel uncomfortable. Well, fundamentally I want them to laugh. They can feel uncomfortable while in a plush seat and not walking out, hopefully.”
Three weeks ago a woman came up to him after a preview show. “It turned out she was on that train at Parson’s Green with the bomber on, and had sat opposite him,” says Akbar. “She was in tears because she said that ever since that incident she’s struggled to reconcile her relationship with people from the Islamic community and the fact of what could have happened to her. So she cried and held me because she said I made terrorism funny. I was able to somehow make her laugh about a quite serious thing, and there’s something wonderful about that.”…
Yet Akbar hasn’t been a practising Muslim for years now. This, he says, grants him perspective. “I was raised within the faith but my mum said: ‘The lottery of life meant that you were born a Muslim. I’ll tell you Islam is great but if I’d been Jewish I’d be saying Judaism is great. The same if I’d been born a Christian’. So with that upbringing I was always able to respect everything.”…
Akbar still lives with his dad and brother but even that’s comic material. He’s written a sitcom — still in the works — about trying to find love while living with his “housemates”. “They have loads of sex and I get nothing in the show,” he says.
Based on real life experience? “Slightly. My brother’s got a girlfriend in America and he’s having more sex than me.” He laughs. “I get no matches on Tinder. None. Muslim Tinder however, aka Minder… oh boy. You can declare how religious you are on there and a lot of girls, when they find someone who’s not religious, they’re like, ‘Oh, hello’. I’m the bad boy. I never thought I’d play that role.”…
Jaladhi says
Oh yeah – Quran is a blast!! Ha, ha,, ha,..
WildWelshWoman says
Thanks, I just spit coffee over my monitor!
mortimer says
The Koran is ABSURD to be sure, but there is no real humor in it.
The only mirth I find is the LOAD OF INTERNAL EVIDENCE within the Koran that FOREIGN INFORMANTS fed Bible stories to Mohammed and intentionally twisted the stories to make Mohammed appear to be a laughing-stock, not taken seriously by people! This is in fact what happened.
Andy says
Laughing Joy and Happiness Nothing to do with Islam
jayell says
I think this character has been beaten to the post by Mel Brooks (in ‘The Producers’). It’s not particularly easy to think anything funny about anything as hideous as the Qur’an (or the Third Reich), but instead of ‘Spring time for Hitler and Germany’, how about ‘May Day for Mohammed’ or ‘I love Mecca in the Spring time’ croaked out by some hideous superannuated old frog, ‘Call to Prayer’-style, through a clapped-out PA, with the slushy strings and birdy sounds in the orchestra replaced by a chorus of 72 ‘virgins’ who can’t make the top octave anymore because they’re actually a bunch of old scrubbers who’ve been reconstituted by Allah’s Medical Miracles Inc. for the benefit of each new wave of martyrs over the last 1,400 years.
J D S says
The very words in the Koran..”kill the idolatrous wherever you find them”…should be enough for the free world to work to discredit Islam….but NO…it seems that the free world is embracing Islam…must be so or else the governments would be doing everything in their power to show Islam exactly what it is doing.
blitz2b says
Yeah I hope this Moslem comedian brings up the ludicrous topics in the Koran like
1. Taking ants
2. Sperm originating from between the rib cage and spine.
3. Invisible pillars holding up the sky
4. Missiles being shot at eavesdropping djinnis
5. Earth flat as a carpet
6. Mountains holding down the earth like pegs
7. A mountain producing hail in the sky
8. The sun setting in a fetid pool of muddy water.
9. Galen’s plagiarized incorrect embryology
10. Stars hung in the lowest of the seven heavens….
And many many more laughable stupidities found within the pages of the word of Allah
What a joke…. Now laugh all you want.
BC says
As no examples of his jokes are given it is impossible to know what his show is about. If he is not getting death threats he is not doing very much. If he is exposing the absurdity of Islam well and good, but he could expose the absurdity of all religions and it would be even better
Simone says
Watch this
https://youtu.be/w9aGX57izoM
Daniel Bostock will give you a well earned laugh!
gravenimage says
UK: Muslim comedian says, “I want people to see the funny side of the Qur’an”
……………………
What’s more hilarious than mass murder and wife beating?
SAE says
Acid attacks, pedophilia, beastiality, honor killing, sex slaves, etc. This hilarity never dies down. There’s a spontaneity to the entertainment as well. One never knows if the flash meriment will abruptly occur at a park, restaurant, plane, marathon race, Las Vegas venue, or occasionally crowded high-rise towers. Also overseas, our brave military are included in the pranks; Beirut, Yemen, and countless other shit-hole locales. Punchlines are repeatedly hidden in IEDs. This religion of peace never has the “last laugh” because it never ends. It just keeps advancing. ✝️
gravenimage says
Grimly true, SAE.
Mo says
Perhaps he wants us to focus on the sun setting in a muddy puddle and Solomon’s flying carpet.
SAE says
Funny, Mo.
Hindu American says
Forget the funny parts, if there are any. How about the ironical parts?
Elizabeth Lawson says
No offence, but we’ve all seen the funny side of the Koran – and it ain’t funny.
SAE says
I’d prefer if you offended Muhammad, Elizabeth. It does my heart good.
gravenimage says
+1
James Lincoln says
What if a non-Muslim comedian wanted to joke about the Qur’an ???
SAE says
That’s not funny!
gravenimage says
Good question, James.
Halal Bacon says
OK, I’m in, but lets see the performance at the mosque of my choosing, lets say before Friday prayers
Emilie Green says
Hey, it worked. Saying “I want people to see the funny side of the Qur’an” is itself a joke.
George Williams says
Will he include the funny parts about slaughtering the infidel wherever you find him, as well as how to treat the occasion of a one’s food? If he does, I am all for it.
George says
Insert “fly in” between “a” and “one’s”.
SAE says
Your “edit” is funny, George.
pemba says
There no fun in Islam, Just death, mourning for 40 days during month of Moharram — ” Ya Husain”” and self beating, inflicting wounds, and drinking sherbat .
Comedian Akbar is looking for trouble in looking for fun out of Qura’n.
gravenimage says
Three weeks ago a woman came up to him after a preview show. “It turned out she was on that train at Parson’s Green with the bomber on, and had sat opposite him,” says Akbar. “She was in tears because she said that ever since that incident she’s struggled to reconcile her relationship with people from the Islamic community and the fact of what could have happened to her. So she cried and held me because she said I made terrorism funny. I was able to somehow make her laugh about a quite serious thing, and there’s something wonderful about that.”…
………………………..
How very disturbing. I guess he would have found it even more hilarious if she had been murdered in a Jihad terror attack.
And how sad is it that this woman came away from nearly being killed in a terror attack and her main concern was not the victims or future victims, but it harming her “her relationship with people from the Islamic community”. Now that she is able to laugh over this horror I guess that all is good…
One wonders exactly what his humor over terrorism entails. Is he making fun of Jihadists? As dark as this is, it might work. If he is sneering at the victims, this is something else entirely…
faraway says
It could be seen as part of the normalising process of islamic violence.Like that idiot mayor Khan saying that terrorism is ‘part and parcel of city life’.No,never!
gravenimage says
*Exactly*, faraway.
tim gallagher says
I agree, gravenimage, about how disturbing this woman’s response is. The main thing she was concerned about is the effect the terrorist attack had one her relationship with the Muslim community. Could anything ever wake people like that up? I just despair about people like that. Maybe she is mentally ill. Not the convenient “mentally ill” that Muslim terrorists are always possessed by, but real mental illness. It is just such a warped response. faraway, as I mentioned in a comment I made down below, that quote from the mayor of London about terrorist attacks being part of life in a city makes me respond, no, it’s only part of life in a city with Muslims in it. It’s not Buddhists or others, only Muslims.
Mirren10 says
”I agree, gravenimage, about how disturbing this woman’s response is. The main thing she was concerned about is the effect the terrorist attack had one her relationship with the Muslim community.”
We only have this moron’s word for it that this actually happened, and that this woman said this.
Personally, I would never believe word one a muslim said. They’re all liars.
tim gallagher says
You’re probably right, Mirren10. I also pretty much never believe a word that any Muslim says about anything, oh, except when the truth breaks through their lies and they are threatening to subjugate or kill us non-Muslims. Then I believe them. That’s their true outlook straight from the Koran. Yes, this comedian was probably lying about this incident. gravenimage, your explanation of why he told this story makes sense. Anyway, the main thing is that I don’t think any of us are likely to be duped by Muslims lying to us. If only everyone would wake up and refuse to believe their endless lies.
gravenimage says
Good points, Tim and Mirren.
This may be true–certainly, we have seen dhimmis act this way before.
But you make an important point, Mirren–this Muslim barrow may well be lying about this, and positing himself as someone who comforted a filthy Infidel troubled by Islam who helped her get over her “Islamophobia” in being afraid of Jihad.
Whatever the truth here, this is disgusting.
Isntlam says
Q: What’s the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.
Wellington says
Can’t make this up.
Lydia Church says
Funny side of the koran???
Okay, now that IS a joke!
Ha-haaaaaaaaa!
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Below; isis getting mad:
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( ) > 😐
Lydia Church says
( ) > : |
Linda says
I associate a lot of things with Islam. Humour isn’t one of them.
Prebangian says
At a conference in May I heard “Tarek Fatah” say “In Islam life begins at death.”.
Older Canadian says
That is true, as everything forbidden in life is rewarded after death. Sure is inspirational not to value life.
Westman says
Even the actually ridiculous stuff has a dark side. There really is humorous content in the Quran and Hadith(funny at least to unbelieving readers) but it makes believing Muslims look a bit dense.
This is the best reference I have found that describes why Islam should look ridiculous, to the point of humor, to intelligent people:
http://www.islamcomicbook.com/
gravenimage says
Thanks for that link. Yes, this is funny stuff.
Siddi Nasrani says
Yes, Mr Muslim comedian, Islam is a sick joke & the Koran confirms it !!!!!
gravenimage says
“If someone kills me for doing this, which a lot of people are worried about, I think it will at least make people sit up and take notice,” says Akbar, tucking into a halloumi burger at Bill’s in Kensington. “I don’t know if I want to die for my job — I’ve got plenty more shows left in me — but what a legacy that would leave, eh?”
…………………
The only legacy this would leave is further proof that Islam is utterly savage and crushes freedom of speech. It would not show that Islam appreciates humor as Eshaan Akbar appears to believe.
And there is a whole cottage industry now of Muslim “comedians” who set up their acts around terrorism.
Generally these acts appear to be of two general types–either castigating Infidels for concerns over Muslims being terrorists or else lambasting them for not having a sense of humor about Jihad terror. Kumail Nanjiani does both.
In both cases, the aim is to get Infidels to censor their concerns about Jihad terror, either over worries that they might be “Islamophobic” or humorless.
El Guapo says
Look! A funny muslim with a funny quran riding a Unicorn!
D J says
Unikoran?
Karen says
Learning to laugh at oneself is a great goal. The real test will be if you let others make the jokes. I noticed there were no examples of quaranic humor given, nor did the writer of the article lob more than puff-piece soft balls.
He wants to “challenge” me? What’s that supposed to mean?
gravenimage says
It means that the only problem is that the filthy Infidels don’t find Jihad terrorism to be funny.
joscefi says
The funny side of the Koran, finding one bound in pigskin…
FYI says
“There are no jokes in islam.There is no humor in islam.There is no fun in islam”
Ayatollah Khomeni
That explains why shi’te comedians are either terribly shite or non-existant
jihadist 1 Death to the profit ..motive!I.. evil!
jihadist 2 wait…Did you say death to the prophet?For this I will keel you.Oh haha.. you meant profit!
jihadist 1 Yes,khalid the prophet sucks.Death to the prophet!Evil!
jihadist 2 inshallah,Faisal,inshallah.Down with the profit!
jihadist 1 haha..see that?..the one with the minaret..another church i’ve blown up.
jihadist 2 “the one with the minaret”..?but…That’s…. a mosque
jihadist 1 Death to the prophet!allah will be pleased.Let’s go hide in a cave before God catches us..
Infidel humor: so much more advanced than islamic…
Johnnie Carmichael says
Why did Muhammad rush to the sale at J.C. Pennys?
He was told they had children’s pants half off.
b.a. freeman says
pant, pant, pant …
hooh, i’m finally able to stop laughing. i gotta use this one, Johnnie; thanks!
gravenimage says
Now *that* is grimly hilarious!
peter says
The only thinwg that is funny and bordering on being rediculous is the muslim man’s beard and muslim women’s burka and hijab .It will be funnier if muslim men will be made to wear burka with no holes fo the eyes so the muslim men won’t be tempted by infidel women . Muslim men and women do not need fancy dress party .
Indiana Tom says
I actually thought the drinking of camel urine was worth a smile.
VRWC member77 says
Well here’s a bit of material he might be able to use:
Surah 10:37 (no one else could conceive the quran except allah)
“This Qur’an is not such as can be produced by other than Allah; on the contrary it is a confirmation of (revelations) that went before it, and a fuller explanation of the Book – wherein there is no doubt – from the Lord of the worlds.”
Surah 10:38 (momad couldn’t have forged the Koran because momad says it’s great stuff that could never be forged)
“Or do they say, “He forged it”? say: ‘Bring then a Sura like unto it, and call (to your aid) anyone you can besides Allah, if it be ye speak the truth!’ ”
Surah 18:86 (sun sets in sea of mud)
Until, when he reached the setting of the sun, he found it set in a spring of murky water: Near it he found a People: We said: “O Zul-qarnain! (thou hast authority,) either to punish them, or to treat them with kindness.”
Surah 36:38 (Where the Sun goes when it rests)
And the sun runneth on unto a resting-place for him. That is the measuring of the Mighty, the Wise.
Good luck with that. My advice to him for some really absurd humor is to quote hadith……plenty of material there for 1000 comic careers if they can stay alive.
mortimer says
The Koran is ridiculously absurd, but not really funny.
If you find the Koran humorous, you are a blasphemer who should be executed.
Beverly says
Does the Quran even have the word ‘love’ in it?
Keys says
Beverly this is a past post from JW commenter mortimer
While there are over 300 references in the Koran to Allah and fear, there are only 49 references to love. Among the 49 references
There are 25 verses about how Allah does not love Kafirs (unbelievers)
Only 5 verses actually teach positively about love.
Of these 5, 3 are about loving kin or a Muslim brother. One verse commands a Muslim to give for the love of Allah.
This leaves only one quasi-universal verse about love: give what you love to charity and even this is contaminated by dualism since Muslim charity only goes to other Muslims.
By contrast:
There are over 400 teachings of hate of all infidels: Jews, Christians, Idolaters, Kafirs.
Not much love. Hate and fear is what Allah demands.
In the hadiths, ALLAH MAKES CLEAR THAT MUSLIMS SHOULD MAKE THE KAFIRS FEAR THEM. Muslims become RUBBISH if the KAFIRS DO NOT FEAR THEM !
“Prophet Muhammad said; It is expected that the nations will call other nations to share them against you (Muslims) as the eaters call each other to eat from the food in front of them in a large wooden plate A person asked, Will that happen because of our small number on that day? The Prophet said, No. Your number will be great, but you will be rubbish like the rubbish of flood-water. And certainly Allah will remove from the hearts of enemies the fear of you and surely Allah will throw Wahn in your hearts. A person asked, What is Wahn, O Messenger of Allah? The Prophet said, Wahn is to love this world and to hate death.” – Abu Dawud 4284
[11May18/JW/RS/The Hill: Fear of Islam …/comments: Mortimer (6:44 p.m. respond to 5:30 Wellington]
gravenimage says
Thanks, Keys.
DogOnPorch says
Muhammad murdered the poets who made ‘fun’ of him.
gravenimage says
Very true.
Keys says
“There is no humor in Islam.”
Most have seen this quote (even though some internet sites are taking it off of their sites to hide the truth)
“Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious. …”
— Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini
gravenimage says
Yep.
Mark Spahn (West Seneca, NY) says
I am grateful to this Muslim comedian for letting infidels in on the humor that Muslims enjoy. Every imam must know dozens of jokes that begin “Buddha, Jesus, and Muhammad walk into this bar…”. And there must be hundreds of jokes about those mischievous, fun-loving Islamic leprechauns, the jinns.
gravenimage says
By the way, Eshaan Akbar refers to Richard Dawkins’ acknowledgement that Islam is violent as ” pseudo-intellectual aggressivley Islamaphobic fundamentalist atheistic horseshit”.
https://twitter.com/eshaanakbar?lang=en
tim gallagher says
Like most of the commenters above, I find nothing funny about the Koran or Islam. To me, it’s just an evil ideology which is an ongoing danger to us all. That quote from Khomeini that there is no fun in Islam sums the ideology up. An inhuman ideology. This imbecilic Muslim comedian (a contradiction in terms) will probably be bumped off by one of the more serious, “devout) (ie murderous) followers of MUhammad. I do think that ridiculing and laughing Islam out of existence is a good tactic, amongst many others, in the war against Islam, like that recent series of videos David Wood and the others did which were run on Jihad Watch, which laughed at some of the absurdities and grossness of Islam.. Ridiculing in the way that Jonathan Swift and writers like that have done surely has a role. But I’m not interested in comedians like this guy, who I’m sure will be trying to make Muslims seem less of a threat and who will be seeking to make them seem like cuddly, normal members of our society. I’m not buying that. Up above, someone mentioned that London mayor saying terrorist attacks are just “part and parcel of life in a city”. I’d say they are only part of life in a city with Muslims living in it.
gravenimage says
Fine post, Tim.
tim gallagher says
Thank you, gravenimage, for the encouragement. I certainly find many of your comments on Jihad Watch are excellent and very well-informed. I should also say that the encouraging comments you make about the posts that many people make at Jihad Watch is a very positive thing. It’s a big contribution to Jihad Watch.
infidel says
What is funny about mass murdering non-believers??
Baucent says
Brave man. He does say “he hasn’t been a practising muslim for years” which I guess means he is an apostate. But humour from the Koran? Very little there to raise a smirk I would think, and a good chance a member of the audience will try to kill him. Remember Mr Shah?, the Glasgow shopkeeper who greeted his customers a “Merry Christmas”. He was stabbed to death by one of those humourless Koran believers.
gravenimage says
Akbar may no longer be a practicing Muslim, but he is still shilling for Islam. Sadly, we’ve seen this before.
duh swami says
The Quran and the ‘Protocols of the Elders of Zion’…are the most boring books ever written…The ‘Sex life of the Boll Weave’ is more entertaining…
gravenimage says
Boring *and* hideously ugly, Swami. What a revoltin’ combination.
Logic&Reason says
No doubt, Akbar tiptoes through the minefield…as long as he helps to “normalize” the negative side of Islam. Taqiyya-ha-ha-ha! He wouldn’t dare to bring the words of Allah/Muhammad into question. He likely pokes at the “absurdity” of the infidels’ reaction to Islam’s barbarism.
Can’t wait to see a female Muslim comedian making fun of FGM, honour killings, and child brides.
gravenimage says
+1
Christine says
Hi Robert, Good job on the quotes.
But I thought the penalty for making jokes about the Koran is death?
So does that mean the comedian in question is subject to the death penalty under Sharia?
Or is it okay for Muslims to joke about the Koran? Just not the rest of us?
gravenimage says
Akbar said he’s facing death threats.
Given that he mostly seems to be giving the Infidels a hard time, though, he is probably pretty safe.
Giacomo Latta says
If it weren’t for the fact that Islam is quickly closing in on its ”1 billionth killed”, it would be humourous. The koran is so illogical, inconsistent and an obvious self-serving document for a land-grabbing, money-grubby, sexual deviant and twisted low-life. You know that homo sapiens has a long way to go before it finds itself at maximum thinking capability when you consider how many people believe in all the crap (documentation) attached to Islam.
Hogdude says
Yes, Islam has been a cheap thrill since the early 700s. Really amused about the trail of bodies from Europe to Algeria and beyond. I choose life rather than death and trust this misguided fellow, when faced with same, will choose life, also. But, who knows? Maybe he’ll have wonderful sex with his virgins he’ll earn. Wow.
UNCLE VLADDI says
Here’s the only real joke Dirty Old Moe cracked:
Once, when he was coming back all sweaty from making war on his innocent pagan neighbors, he told one of his henchmen
“You think THAT was the real jihad?! Pfft!
That was only the “lesser jihad!” Trust me!
I’m returning home to multiple bickering wives!
Now THAT, my friend – that, is the real, GREATER jihad!”
😉
Jahangeer says
The pagans who beat Muslims, killed at least one of them and tried to assassinate Muhammad weren’t innocent at all.
Jahangeer says
Christians were occupying Middle East, Africa and Europe before Muhammad and attacked Karbala in 599 while also murdering Muhammad’s messenger. Robert Spencer’s website is acting like an ignorant. The verses are about historical battles with non-Muslims around the time of prophets. But there’s one verse that applies even today – that you should bever trust non-Muslims. And liars like these show non-Muslims are misguided.
Jahangeer says
Sorry Kaaba was attacked by a Christian kingdom in 599, had a mind-slip.
Jahangeer says
I suggest Mr Spencer not to partially quote and read the previous and next verses as well. For example the first Quranic passage of Surah 2:191-193 he quotes, he doesn’t mention the previous quote saying not to transgress and the verses about killing are about Meccan persecutors. Here is the truth of Spencer’s lies and Quran’s exhortation of fighting when necessary and making peace when there is a chance.
Quran 2:190-193, ” Fight in the way of Allah those who fight you but do not transgress. Indeed. Allah does not like transgressors. And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out; persecution is worse than slaughter. But fight them not by the Holy Mosque until they should fight you there; then, if they fight you, kill them — such is the recompense of unbelievers, but if they give over, surely Allah is all-forgiving, all-compassionate. Fight them until there is no persecution and the religion is Allah’s; then if they give over, there shall be no enmity save for evildoers.”
Quran 4:89-90, also verses about only watring with those who are hostile and not at peace, “They wish you would disbelieve as they disbelieved so you would be alike. So do not take from among them allies until they emigrate for the cause of Allah. But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them and take not from among them any ally or helper. Except for those who take refuge with a people between yourselves and whom is a treaty or those who come to you, their hearts strained at [the prospect of] fighting you or fighting their own people. And if Allah had willed, He could have given them power over you, and they would have fought you. So if they remove themselves from you and do not fight you and offer you peace, then Allah has not made for you a cause [for fighting] against them.”
Nothing wrong in Quran 5:33. Those who wage war against Islam and Muslims should receive punishment.
Quran 8:12 is about Battle of Badr where Allah helped Muslims who were losing. Read Quran 8:9-12: – [Remember] when you asked help of your Lord, and He answered you, “Indeed, I will reinforce you with a thousand from the angels, following one another.” And Allah made it not but good tidings and so that your hearts would be assured thereby. And victory is not but from Allah . Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise. [Remember] when He overwhelmed you with drowsiness [giving] security from Him and sent down upon you from the sky, rain by which to purify you and remove from you the evil [suggestions] of Satan and to make steadfast your hearts and plant firmly thereby your feet. [Remember] when your Lord inspired to the angels, “I am with you, so strengthen those who have believed. I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieved, so strike [them] upon the necks and strike from them every fingertip.”
Also read Quran 8:5 – “[It is] just as when your Lord brought you out of your home [for the battle of Badr] in truth, while indeed, a party among the believers were unwilling,”
Quran 8:39 is again about hostility of non-Muslims. Quran 8:38-39, “Say to those who have disbelieved [that] if they cease, what has previously occurred will be forgiven for them. But if they return [to hostility] – then the precedent of the former [rebellious] peoples has already taken place. And fight them until there is no fitnah and [until] the religion, all of it, is for Allah . And if they cease – then indeed, Allah is Seeing of what they do.”
The verse immedeiately next to Quran 8:60 says not to war if they stop warring, read Quran 8:60-61 “And prepare against them whatever you are able of power and of steeds of war by which you may terrify the enemy of Allah and your enemy and others besides them whom you do not know [but] whom Allah knows. And whatever you spend in the cause of Allah will be fully repaid to you, and you will not be wronged. And if they incline to peace, then incline to it [also] and rely upon Allah. Indeed, it is He who is the Hearing, the Knowing.”
Quran 9:5 is about a temporary peace treaty during a war, the next verse also says if non-Muslims want protection and peace then provide it. Read Quran 9:4-9:5, “Excepted are those with whom you made a treaty among the polytheists and then they have not been deficient toward you in anything or supported anyone against you; so complete for them their treaty until their term [has ended]. Indeed, Allah loves the righteous [who fear Him]. And when the sacred months have passed, then kill the polytheists wherever you find them and capture them and besiege them and sit in wait for them at every place of ambush. But if they should repent, establish prayer, and give zakah, let them [go] on their way. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. And if any one of the polytheists seeks your protection, then grant him protection so that he may hear the words of Allah . Then deliver him to his place of safety. That is because they are a people who do not know.”
It is therefore logical that polytheists must pay Jizya for their hostility as said in Quran 9:29 and Muslims were encourage to fight them in Quran 9:111.
Quran 9:123 too is about a battle. Read Quran 9:122-123, “And it is not for the believers to go forth [to battle] all at once. For there should separate from every division of them a group [remaining] to obtain understanding in the religion and warn their people when they return to them that they might be cautious. O you who have believed, fight those adjacent to you of the disbelievers and let them find in you harshness. And know that Allah is with the righteous.”
Quran 47:4 is too about battle and about sinning non-Muslims, “That is because those who disbelieve follow falsehood, and those who believe follow the truth from their Lord. Thus does Allah present to the people their comparisons. So when you meet those who disbelieve [in battle], strike [their] necks until, when you have inflicted slaughter upon them, then secure their bonds, and either [confer] favor afterwards or ransom [them] until the war lays down its burdens. That [is the command]. And if Allah had willed, He could have taken vengeance upon them [Himself], but [He ordered armed struggle] to test some of you by means of others. And those who are killed in the cause of Allah – never will He waste their deeds.”
There is therefore no surprise that non-Muslims who sin, believe in lies and transgress and wage war against Islam are punished.