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How to Beat Your Wife, Or, Beat Me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar

Sep 20, 2019 10:00 am By Hugh Fitzgerald

The popular Moroccan singer Adil El Miloudi recently said: “Whoever doesn’t beat his wife is not a man. In Morocco, this is normal, anyone can do what he wants with his wife, hit her, kill her.”

El Miloudi’s candor was unusual. One Qur’anic verse that gives Muslim apologists in the West great grief is 4:34, where a Muslim husband is told that he may “beat” a wife whose disobedience he fears. There is no adverb modifying the verb “beat,” yet some apologists insist that the beating should only be done “lightly,” as if with a small toothbrush known as a “miswak.”

A video by a Qatari sociologist, Abd Al-Aziz Al-Khazraj Al-Ansari, provides a televised lesson on the proper way for a Muslim husband to administer a “beating” to one of his wives. Because the Qur’anic verse that gives legitimacy to this “beating” does not explain how hard or soft such a beating can or should be, Al-Ansari believes there is a need to explain, and to show Muslim men, exactly what kind of “beating” is permissible.

His Qatari television performance can be found here:

“First, we must understand that the man is the leader of the house. A leader has authorities, just like a company manager.

Al-Ansari unembarassedly insists on male superiority: the man “is leader of the house.” No dissent is allowed. He is “just like  a company manager” — not a romantic image, but one entirely fitting for the rich little statelet of Qatar, which is all business. In Qur’an 4:34, a Muslim husband is given license to “beat” his wife, without offering parameters to the punishment. The same verse also declares men to be the guardians of their women, for they are “superior” to them: “Men have authority over women because Allah has made the one superior to the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them. Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because Allah has guarded them. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and send them to beds apart and beat them. Then if they obey you, take no further action against them. Surely Allah is high, supreme.”

The superiority of men over woman in Islam is not to be found only in 4:34, but is reflected both in the inheritance laws, by which a daughter receives only half that of a son, and in considering the testimony by a woman as being worth only half that of a man, which Muhammad explains in a hadith is because of the “deficiency of her intelligence.”

The leader of the house may decide to discipline the wife so life can move on.

[…]

How does a husband beat his wife? He gives her a disciplinary beating out of love. He loves her. The beating should be light, and must make the wife feel her femininity and her husband’s masculinity. Now, let’s see how Islam teaches how to beat your wife. Let’s imagine that Nayef here… How are you, Nayef? Nayef is obviously a boy, but let’s imagine that he is the wife. How should a husband beat his wife? First, he must “admonish her” – in other words, he should advise her. Then, he should refrain from sharing a bed with her. If all of this doesn’t help, we start the beating as a last resort.

What is beating in Islam? Beating in Islam… Wait, don’t move… The husband must make his wife feel his strength. Why aren’t you listening to me?! How many times do I have to tell you?! How many times do I have to tell you so you’ll listen?! Didn’t I tell you not to leave the house without my permission?! You see how? A little bit of rebuke… Obviously, she’s starting to talk back… I told you not to leave the house! How many times do I have to tell you? See how the beating is done? I told you not to leave the house! The beating is light, brothers. Don’t leave the house again! Do you understand?! Yes or no?! You see, brothers? This is beating in Islam. But some people punch her or slap her on the face… That’s not allowed. The Prophet Muhammad… Look how merciful Islam is. The Prophet forbade striking the face. He forbade men from beating their wives on the face. Slapping the face, hitting the head, punching the nose – all of this is prohibited. The beating is for discipline. Let’s see how it’s done. Don’t leave the house again! Listen to what I tell you! This is a painless beating that does not leave bruises or cause bleeding.

Al-Ansari acts out the ‘beating” on Nayef, a teenaged boy he presents as his assistant. He grabs him, shakes him by the shoulders, then hits those shoulders, but as he says, he leaves the face alone. He claims that it was Muhammad himself who proscribed beating wives on the face, head, nose. But in giving his televised lesson in beating, he finds nothing wrong with the husband who yells at his wife for daring to disobey him when she has been told “not to leave the house.” He takes for granted that in Islam,”men are the rulers of the household.”

The beating I just gave Nayef is the true gentle beating in Islam.

[…]

Brothers, why do husbands beat their wives? Because some wives like domineering and authoritative husbands. By nature, they like violent and powerful husbands.

So is the “beating” that is prescribed in Qur’an 4:34 done to discipline wives, or is it done because some wives are masochists who “by nature like violent and powerful husbands”? Clearly, that Qur’anic verse says nothing about a wife liking either a “domineering and  authoritative” husband or a “violent and powerful” one. These claims are pulled out of thin air by Al-Ansari, who would like to make his audience believe that women actually like to be beaten; it’s another way to justify the Qur’anic license to beat your wife: first, because the beating should be administered “lightly” (the adverb is not found in the verse itself); secondly, a husband shouldn’t worry overmuch about beating his wife, because according to Al-Ansari, many women actually like domineering, authoritative, violent, and powerful husbands. Al-Ansari fails to see the contradiction: either a husband “beats” his wife, however lightly, to make her obey, or a husband beats her “because she wants it,” and if so, why would beating her cause her to obey? It makes no sense.

With some women, admonishing them and refraining from sharing their beds won’t help. The only thing that helps with such women is beating. She needs to feel that you are a real man. That’s her nature. Dear brothers, I hope you understood the right to discipline a wife in Islam. We must not start asking questions about whether our religion is cruel. No, our religion is a religion of mercy and kindness.

Of course Islam is both those things. Don’t for a minute, dear brothers, think otherwise. Either you beat your wife, but only lightly, or you beat her, less lightly if you wish, because — let’s face it — she wants it, she’s asking for it, she wants you to be  violent and domineering, as so many women do. Even the filthy kuffar would have a hard time denying Muslim mercy and Qur’anic kindness as shown in just that one part of Qur’an 4:34. It’s no wonder that for the 1,390th year running, Islam has been ranked #1 in the Mercy and Kindness categories. Why mess with success?

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Filed Under: Featured, Hugh Fitzgerald, Sharia, women's rights in Islam Tagged With: Abd Al-Aziz Al-Khazraj Al-Ansari


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Comments

  1. Mark Spahn (West Seneca, NY) says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 10:19 am

    At 2:20 the instructor says, “The Prophet forbade striking the face.” Where did Muhammad (pbuh) say this? Please cite the relevant Quran chapter-and-verse or Hadith passage.

    • Paweł Jarmicki says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 1:45 pm

      Filthy animals… Female beaters, rapists and whatanot… Scourge of this planet.

    • John Magne Trane says

      Sep 21, 2019 at 9:20 am

      The wife beater, who married women from 6 years up, says it here: https://wikiislamica.net/wiki/Wife_Beating_in_Islam

      Muhammad (May all his victims have peace now), is quoted here:
      Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri:
      Mu’awiyah asked: Messenger of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house.

      Abu Dawud said: The meaning of “do not revile her” is, as you say: “May Allah revile you”.
      AbuDawud 11:2137

  2. Alarmed Pig Farmer says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 10:27 am

    What is beating in Islam? Beating in Islam…

    I’ve mulled this very question for a long time. My thought is that a beating is better than being murdered.

    Wait, don’t move… The husband must make his wife feel his strength.

    Feel his strength for what purpose? I’m starting to suspect that the woman-beating, however severe, is a ritual performed just before engaging in hot sex.

  3. Shari Harter says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 10:54 am

    So, if I am the wife, I must carefully tread between being annoying enough to get to the “refrain from sleeping in same bed” mark but not enough to have husband “beat me to show my femininity and make himself more “attractive” to me with his (toxic) masculine violence?” Must be a hard zone to find and keep!

  4. Wellington says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Even the thought of hitting my wife, however lightly, fills me with disgust.

    Real men do not hit women. Conclusion: Muslim men are not real men.

    Again I address ALL Muslims: Your religion is sick many times over. Islam sanctions hitting women (Sura 4:34), death for apostasy (Sura 4:89), waging war upon mankind “until all religion is with Allah” (Sura 8:39), is an inveterate enemy of liberty, and over half of your putrid holy book, the Koran, deals with hating non-Muslims. Islam is a disgrace to the human spirit and is a recipe for the closing of the mind. I despise it. Any sensible and knowledgeable person should.

    • gravenimage says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 6:36 pm

      Thank you, Wellington.

    • abad says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 7:53 pm

      Wellington, I’ve been saying that for a long time now. There are no Moslem men, only males.

  5. revereridesagain says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 11:40 am

    There are no Muslim “men”. There are only Muslim males dreaming of their appointment with the holy houris in their bordello paradise. I wonder if they are allowed to beat them if they leave the floating cloud without permission.

    Al-Ansari can parade around in all the shining white clothing he can find, but just as putting lipstick on a pig will not conceal the porcine, nothing will hide the fact that underneath it all this is a savage who should be living in a tent in the desert and not leaving it without permission from his camel save to use the “facilities” over behind the sand dune.

    His ex-wife, meanwhile, should be driving around Riyadh in her personal vehicle to her next business appointment without anyone’s “permission” involved save her own.

    Personally I am for allowing the Saudi and Iranian men to bomb one another out of existence provided the girls and women all receive previous permission from the decent contingent of the human race to leave home for extended shopping trips in the civilized commercial centers of their choice using their soon to be late husbands’ insurance money.

    • abad says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 8:00 pm

      I love your last paragraph, Revereridesagain.

      I’ve a neighbor and friend who is Wiccan, one thing she mentioned to me was something very similar to what you said, with the added twist of “What if the women of Saudi Arabia rediscovered Al-Lat, al-Uzza and Manat and did away with Islam.”

      Gets the thought process going, doesn’t it.

    • gravenimage says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 8:17 pm

      Insurance is un-Islamic–but wife beating and “Honor Killing” is fine.

  6. commonsense says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 11:57 am

    Al-Ansari, purported expert on Islam, seems unaware of the hadith (Sahih Muslim 4:2127) which reports that Muhammed struck his child wife, Aisha, in the chest, causing her pain. According to this hadith, this testimony was given by Aisha herself. As the hadith in question is authoritative, and as Muhammed’s behavior serves as a paradigm for the proper actions of all Muslims, al-Ansari’s assertion that Islamic doctrine prohibits husbands from administering painful beatings to their wives is, clearly, utterly false.

    • gravenimage says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 6:43 pm

      Yep.

      Then there’s this one, “Aisha said, “I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!”

      • commonsense says

        Sep 20, 2019 at 10:20 pm

        Yup, gi – forgot that one.

    • Panu bun says

      Sep 21, 2019 at 4:11 am

      If a beating is meant * light beating * .
      Why has it to mention ? since light beating is occuring in every day Life !panubun

  7. rubiconcrest says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 12:39 pm

    Agreed. This is so absurd it could be an SNL live skit but no the guy is totally serious. Sick, sick, sick and some wives want a man to be cruel … sicker still.

  8. Hoi Polloi says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Bit of a coincidence that some of their women are allowed to show their faces, therefore this is the area where their “men” are instructed not to leave visible damage, no?

  9. Angemon says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    She needs to feel that you are a real man. That’s her nature.

    How to let women know you’re a real man in Western culture:

    https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6-L2wyZ5UcQ/TzUeoZSaZeI/AAAAAAAAQ4o/2aOdflnH8Bs/s1600/vintage+bodybuilding+ad+advert+charle+atlas+1.jpg

    And yes, this still applies today, despite the nonsense being pushed about “modern man”:

    https://www.jihadwatch.org/2015/10/ny-times-the-modern-man-has-no-use-for-a-gun-he-doesnt-own-one-and-he-never-will-the-modern-man-cries-he-cries-often

    • gravenimage says

      Sep 20, 2019 at 6:48 pm

      Yes–in the famous Charles Atlas ad, Mac eventually shows that he can defend himself–and by extension, his girlfriend–against bullies. He doesn’t use that brawn to beat his girlfriend.

  10. gravenimage says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    How to Beat Your Wife, Or, Beat Me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar
    …………………..

    Yes, I’ve seen this disturbing video before. Note his comparing this to a company manager–as though company managers beat their employees. (Never mind that marriage should be more like a partnership, any way).

    Then, the bit about masculinity and femininity is especially creepy–as though there is anything masculine about beating women.

    There is nothing “strong” about insisting that women cannot leave the house.

    The most unintentionally hilarious line is “Nayef is obviously a boy. But let’s imagine that he is the wife”. Of course, Muslims do just that all the time…

    Not that there is anything really funny about child rape, either.

    This is of course also teaching boys like Nayef that his mother can be beaten–and teaching him to beat his own wives in the future.

    And no–there are no prohibitions on beating a wife in the face or about the head in Islam.

    Then, the idea that women *like* to be beaten, and this is why Muslims do it is obviously absurd–this thug already said that Muslims beat their wives if they are disobedient (actually, per the Qur’an men need only “fear” disobedience).

    “By nature, they like violent and powerful husbands”–beating women is certainly violent, but there is *nothing* powerful about it, nor does this make Muslims a “real man”. Just the opposite–no secure man beats women.

    “We must not start asking questions about whether our religion is cruel”–yeah, once you start asking questions about that you might start wondering about whether “marrying” children, forced marriage, polygamy, marital rape, the “Triple Talaq”, and “Honor Killings” are cruel or not.

    Instead, believe that beating women is “merciful” and “kind”.

    God, I hate Islam.

  11. Robert_k says

    Sep 20, 2019 at 10:52 pm

    What did the Muslim say to his wife with 2 black eyes? Nothing. He told her twice already.

  12. UNCLE VLADDI says

    Sep 21, 2019 at 4:11 am

    Re: “The popular Moroccan singer Adil El Miloudi (the melody) …”

    WAITAMINNIT! SINGING IS HARAM IN ISLAM!!

    OFF WITH HIS NOGGIN ASAP!!!

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