My journey in life is one of religious indoctrination, intellectual roller coasters and mental worldview conflict. It is an illustration of the dangers of subjective thinking.
I grew up in a home that followed aspects of both secular and Islamic thought. This caused a lot of confusion in me as I observed my family switching from Islamic values to secular values depending on the circumstance. I also suffered from a lot of mental trauma due to being exposed to these conflicting worldviews.
I went to a Muslim school, where I was exposed to some very hateful aspects of Islamic thought. Many of the Islamic scholars, influenced to certain degrees by the Deobandi school of thought, spread a lot of hateful and intolerant views. I also attended the local mosque, where similar views were spread depicting Islamic thought and history in a very romanticized way.
I got involved in an Islamic reform movement, Tablighi Jamat. This further cemented in my mind an isolationist, intolerant, romanticized form of Islamic thought. Thereafter I started an Islamic missionary group; we sought to convert members of other ways of thinking to our version of Islam. These experiences placed me in a very subjective state; I made a lot of lifestyle changes in order to accommodate my Islamic worldview.
During my states of subjective thinking I became very judgmental and subjective. This made me live in a reality bubble. I was filled with hate towards those that didn’t follow the Islamic way. My perception of society was greatly warped, as I felt a great need to convert everyone to Islam and bring the entire world into a global caliphate. I also desired martyrdom fighting for Allah. I really believed that martyrdom was glorious and amazing. I felt very strongly that the views of Muslims were justified even though they clashed with contemporary human rights, as well as with our constitutional rights.
During my days of involvement in all this, I started studying the Quran and Islamic literature. After a while, I started to notice that Muslims were not really aware of the teachings of Islam and were largely manipulated into believing a highly populist, subjective and romanticized view of Islam.
After pondering a lot about Islam and Muslims, I found a lot of inconsistencies and subjective thinking. This led me into a very negative space, as I began to question the principles of Islam. I suffered a lot of fear and anger, because I wanted Islam to be right.
After a while, I started reading up more about religion, in a quest to find Allah, truth and myself. This led me to various sources. The Internet was a great source of information for me. Reading up on articles online about how human society builds structures in order to achieve objectives made me understand the power structures of Muslim society. This further led me to realize the problems with populist propaganda and how these techniques are used to influence perception. Psychology showed me how recitations of the Quran and the Islamic form of ritual prayer served the purpose of reinforcing the worldview. Studying other religions showed me that different religions operate in different ways. Pondering all this led me to realize the difference between relative truth and absolute truth. The philosophy of religion enabled me to understand the reasons why religions came about, as a response to the deep existential questions that have concerned humanity. Comparing this to what I was exposed to showed me that Islamic answers were based on opinion and superstition, not upon facts.
Works by Robert Spencer drew my attention to certain problems in Muslim society. Specifically, the violence and brutality that certain Islamist groups propagate, and which are rooted in Islamic literature. At that time, I was still strongly influenced by aspects of Islamic thought, and I had quite a lot of hatred towards Spencer. Then I started to understand Islam, and my understanding changed. WikiIslam also caused a lot of anger in me at first, but then the critical thinking in me started to drive my understanding. Specifically the points that deal with the Quran. Through linguistics, one can clearly see that the Quranic style changes a lot, leading one to conclude that it was written by multiple authors. Parts of it also seem to be incomplete.
One of my greatest influences was reading up on Socrates and how he spoke out against the Greek gods. Plato’s Republic really opened up my mind to see the value and contributions that other civilizations gave towards the progress of humanity. Reading up about contemporary history made me greatly aware of the enormous contributions that Europeans have made to humanity in the last two centuries. This showed me the importance of critical thinking and the scientific method.
These fields helped me a lot to understand the structure of religious systems in the history of humanity. I realized that Islam is actually a synchronized system that has its origins in older systems such as Zoroastrianism, Christianity and Judaism. The similarities are very interesting to study. For example, the interesting similarity between the five daily prayers in Islam and Zoroastrianism. The stories about the prophets in Islam, Christianity and Judaism.
Over time, I started to realize that my quality of life had become very low. Many of my friends and family members didn’t want to interact with me. My subjective state led me into conversations where I defended Islam in fallacious way, basing my arguments on populist and metaphysical principles in order to win arguments. I was constantly stressed out and anxious about my devotion to Allah.
I also made some really bad decisions financially which were due to my understanding of Islam. For example, I based my career choices on the probability at which I could pray five times a day, which made prospective employers very skeptical about hiring me. My clothing also resembled Arab cultural clothing. leading to a loss of opportunities.
I finally realized that the Islamic way of thinking is merely one of many ways of thinking. This opened the doors of perception for me, enabling me to understand myself and reality in an objective way. I still battle with an identity crisis; however, my state of being is much more better than before and my quality of life has greatly improved. The journey of truth can be a difficult one, but it’s worth it.
The comfort that comes with living a true life is like waking up from a dream.
The author’s name is withheld for his own safety.
Maureen Chaloner says
Well done and God bless you.
Infidel says
The headline says ‘journey out of islam’ but nowhere in the article does he mention that he apostatized, or what caused him to do it
Cicero says
He may write more in the future Sounds like it has been written by a Muslim with Indian antecedents
Infidel says
Okay. The name ‘Sabre’, assuming that it’s not a nom de guerre, seems to suggest that he’s from Chad
Silver Sabre says
Correct.
Silver Sabre says
Correct
R Russell says
I smiled when I read his nom de plume.
In 2013, the Jehovah’s Witnesses brought out a revised version of their New World Translation Bible. It’s cover is grey. Apart from being a really bad ‘translation’, It is colloquially known as ‘the silver sword’.
Mirren10 says
I noticed that too.
Silver Sabre says
Getting exposed to different ways of thinking and trying to reconcile all of them with Islam eventually made me realize the truth.
Silver Sabre says
Thanks for the warm words.
Walter Sieruk says
This article about Islam being a religion of hate ,actually also deadly violence. It a reminder of those brutal vicious jihadist/ Muslims of ISIS with their murderous Islamic scheming for future jihad attacks in the USA and in the different countries of Europe.
This is an awful and wicked reality. Those brutal and deadly jihad entity ISIS are actually putting in to the practice, with all their ruthless actions, the violence and killing that is part of the teaching of the “holy book” of Islam, the Koran. Which contain the doctrine of extreme violent force for the advancement of Islam. As seen in the Koran, for example, 2:191. 4:89. 5:33. 9:5,111,123. 47:4.
So in spite of the strong denials by many, ISIS is an actual Islamic organization. Likewise the malicious, bloodthirsty violence jihadists who make up ISIS are real Muslims. Nevertheless, there are some who might , understandably, wonder and then ask “Just how can those jihadists of ISIS ,being so very religious , also at the time also be so very malice-filled ,unfeeling and deadly ? “ The answer to that question is found in the Bible. For the Bible teaches that there are some people who are extremely heartless, cold, callous and dangerous because they have had “their conscience seared with a hot iron.” First Timothy 4:2. [ K.J.V.]
In this case of the members of ISIS this “hot iron” is Islam.
mortimer says
Well done, Silver Sabre! Your sensitive and truly humanistic conscience led you out of this supremacist death cult.
Your natural critical thought led you to observe the difference between the teachings found in the Islamic Trilogy (Sira, hadiths and Koran) and what your modernist Muslim friends were assuring you. Good for you for using your God-given brain to think independently. Any Muslim who can think independently will make the same discoveries as you did.
I personally believe that most of the mullahs, ulema and sheikhs have realized what you did, but they haven’t the same courage that you had to face the facts honestly and abandon this man-made, fabricated religion.
Sabri S. says
Sorry Silver, no intelligent person believes this propaganda, anti-muslim BS. Silver, real Islam is Gold, and the global Ummah are golden!! There is no religion or political party that even comes close. Really read the Holy Quran, truly understand Islam and live the real truth.
gravenimage says
The vicious Sabri S. wrote:
Sorry Silver, no intelligent person believes this propaganda, anti-muslim BS. Silver, real Islam is Gold, and the global Ummah are golden!! There is no religion or political party that even comes close. Really read the Holy Quran, truly understand Islam and live the real truth.
…………………………
Sabri S. has exposed the real Islam by lauding Muslims who behead their own children:
“Islamic Republic of Iran: Father beheads his 13-year-old daughter in honor killing”
https://www.jihadwatch.org/2020/05/islamic-republic-of-iran-father-beheads-his-13-year-old-daughter-in-honor-killing#comment-2241109
He said that *not* murdering children is degenerate and immoral. *This* is how pious Muslims think.
The idea that he is going to convince Silver Sabre that Islam is *not* violent and hateful is grimly laughable.
He has also said that Muslims have the right to behead anyone who dares to “disrespect” Islam:
https://www.jihadwatch.org/2020/11/india-on-live-tv-muslim-university-student-leader-calls-for-beheading-of-those-who-insult-islam#comment-2289683
He is right, though, that no other religion come close–to such savagery. that is.
john smith says
He is no match for you GI, and he never will be.
gravenimage says
Thank you, John. Sabri S. is clearly no match for Silver Sabre, either.
Audu says
Hope you also come to the realization of the truth which is in Christ Jesus.
Silver Sabre says
Why do you say this? What have you experienced that makes you say this?
James Lincoln says
Sabri S,
You support honor killings.
And even reminded us on a recent post:
Oct 6, 2020 at 9:27 pm
“Sure do….and always will over your country’s immorality, unwed whore “mothers”, and systemic filth pushed by your corrupt media.”
Every time you post, Jihad Watch readers will read it through the above optics…
john smith says
We won’t forget James, we know exactly what he is.
Sabri S. says
Over the alternative James, always over the alternative….and given the current state of life in the USA, I wasn’t wrong…was I….From Cardi B videos to your corrupt president, and back to your pop culture immorality….yes, decapitate it all…and it would be my “honor” to do so if given the opportunity…
gravenimage says
Sabri S. believes that men are immoral if they *aren’t* decapitatiing their children.
Then, the idea that the antidote to ugly fake violence in videos is *real* violence against children is just grotesque.
And how is the President corrupt? No doubt he means stemming the flood of Jihad terrorists into the United States and his cutting aid to nations that ate persecuting and mjurdering non-Muslims. Sick, sick stuff.
Silver Sabre says
I use to say things like this. I use to think that the whole world was controlled by the Dajjal system and they wanted to take people away from the remembrance of Allah.
I use to hate Robert Spencer, Ibn Warraq, Salman Rushdie and all other critics of Islam.
When we are brought up in a certain way it’s difficult for us let go of what we use to. I’m sure your friends and family members are Muslims. Probably your entire support structure is Islamic because Islam offers great social opportunities however there are many other systems like that also.
There’s so much more in the world. You want Islam to be right. Sometimes critics of Islam make fun and mock Islam. However think about what they saying. They have good intentions. Look at the so called Muslim countries they in a terrible state. The Islamic scholars are all corrupt and have no understanding of reality.
It’ll take time but don’t be afraid of the truth.
gravenimage says
+1
Silver Sabre says
Thanks for the warm words.
From what we see there’s many factors involved in keeping an individual in a certain worldview.
Social, political, economic etc.
Due to the increase in global prosperity things are changing which enables an environment for critical thinking to prosper.
Our goal is to create that space and protect it.
jacksonl03 says
“I finally realized that the Islamic way of thinking is merely one of many ways of thinking. This opened the doors of perception for me, enabling me to understand myself and reality in an objective way. I still battle with an identity crisis; however, my state of being is much more better than before and my quality of life has greatly improved. The journey of truth can be a difficult one, but it’s worth it.
“The comfort that comes with living a true life is like waking up from a dream.”
This Silver Sabre person and life style of thinking really puzzles me. What exactly is the conclusion and life style that that he/she decided on and presumably lives within today?
Silver Sabre says
My current lifestyle focuses on having a healthy mind and body.
A healthy mind consists of being objective. A mind that is focused on solving humanities problems.
A healthy body consists of eating that which is good and doing regular exercise etc.
john smith says
Some of the most outspoken critics of islam are ex-muslims.
May God be with you Silver, you have definitely made the right decision.
Silver Sabre says
Thanks a lot. Your words are greatly appreciated.
Sabri S. says
Drop dead Silver….you Zionist troll!! Go blaspheme another religion, not ours. Middle Eastern and African countries are in the state they are in because they do NOT follow Islam, not the other way around. Arab and African cultures have not all adjusted to modern political and economic systems. And the Colonial period did them no help. I lived in both cultures for many years. If Mohammad came back to earth today, he would not recognize the Islam practiced by many Arabs, Persians, etc. And this is not the fault of Islam. We, real muslims spread Islam throughout the world through trade, literature, and legitimate military conquest…nothing more, nothing less. Who are you really supporting with your ridiculous words and incoherent messages? Islam does not sow confusion, or have you forgotten this with your self-hate?
Silver Sabre says
Ok let’s do this.
Explain to me the Islamic worldview.
Shaman says
Sabri SS.
Being a Zionist is not a crime, unlike being a Koranimal. Supporting the existence of the Jewish State cannot be a crime.
And everyone has right to blaspheme any religion, including Islam. If we did not criticize religions, then we would still be burned in the Spanish inquisition or get killed in a holy Jihad.
You will have to explain why Israel is the only democratic and free country in the Middle East. Every other Middle Eastern country as well as North African countries are following the unholy Quran and it’s evil teachings. All of their state religion is Islam.
The Pharaoh of Turkey, Erdogan transformed Turkey into the world’s biggest jail for journalists and his opponents. Are you happy with that?
gravenimage says
The appalling Sabri S. wrote:
Drop dead Silver….you Zionist troll!!
…………………………
Pious Muslims can never get very far without blaming the Jews and threatening death–we’ve got both in the first sentence here…
More:
Go blaspheme another religion, not ours.
…………………………
Sabri S. has said that Musims have the right to murder “blasphemers”.
Note that Sabri S.hates Silver Sabre for pointing ot that Islam is a religion of hate. Good thing pious Muslims have no sense of irony…
More:
Middle Eastern and African countries are in the state they are in because they do NOT follow Islam, not the other way around. Arab and African cultures have not all adjusted to modern political and economic systems.
…………………………
How often do we hear *this*–that if only Islamic hell holes were *even worse* that everything would be hunky dory. If only Muslim nations were all as bad as Afghanstan under the Taliban or the Islamic State that everything would be sunshine and roses.
More:
And the Colonial period did them no help.
…………………………
Actually, this civilizing influence did blunt the full horrors of Islam somewhat in some cases–but usually not enough, and the savagery of Shari’ah has come roaring back in most of Dar-al-Islam.
More:
I lived in both cultures for many years. If Mohammad came back to earth today, he would not recognize the Islam practiced by many Arabs, Persians, etc. And this is not the fault of Islam. We, real muslims spread Islam throughout the world through trade, literature, and legitimate military conquest…nothing more, nothing less.
…………………………
Note that “legitimate military conquest” means atacking all Infidels who have not submitted to Islam. .
And what does real Islam look like? The vicious Sabri S. has said–Muslims murdering their own children (daughters especially), attacking women in the streets if they wear skirts, slaughtering Jews, persecuting non-Muslims, and murdering apostates and those who dare tell the truth about Islam’s savagery. *Ugh*.
More:
Who are you really supporting with your ridiculous words and incoherent messages? Islam does not sow confusion, or have you forgotten this with your self-hate?
…………………………
No, rejecting violence and hate is not “incoherent”. And leaving a violent creed is not “self hate”–it is, in fact, just the opposite.
Silver Sabre is not confused here.
john smith says
Sabri S.I am going to say this to you in the nicest way I possibly can, but you have chosen to follow the forces of darkness, allah is satan in disguise, he really is.
Two forces operate in the universe,they are in every single thing, and every microscopic particle,one is negative, and the other is positive.
We here on earth are a reflection as to what is happening in the quantum world and to what is happening in the universe. it is our decision to chose which path we follow and our decision only.
Truth comes from light, were as lies come from darkness.
Love comes from light, while hate comes from darkness.
Goodness comes from light, while evil comes from darkness.
Islam is evil, and unfortunately for you, you are on the wrong path.
I am well aware how important hatred is in Islam , with such doctrines as ,”al wala wal bara” this is sacred hatred and nothing else.
You might might find this difficult to believe, but hate is only a word to me, I really have no idea what hate is, and this goes for most people who’s hearts are only filled with love.
Sabri love is only a word to you, while you have so much hatred in your heart you will never feel love, I will pray for you, I will pray that you leave the darkness of islam and come to the light.
Michael Copeland says
Thank you for your informative account of your painful journey.
Some of your story contains key phrases.
“Critical thinking”
Critical thinking is, of course, suppressed in Islam at an early impressionable age:
“Do NOT!!” –WHACK – “ask questions!!
The suppression is necessary to prevent muslims from finding out for themselves the falsity of Islam. It is reinforced by the threat of everlasting torture:
“Questioning Allah amounts to blasphemy, which will send you to Hell!”
This has proved an effective method of closing the mind.
“Muslims …not really aware of the teachings”
Exactly. Most muslims do not speak Arabic, though they are taught to read it. Thus the corpus of Arabic writings is not comprehensible by them. They rely on their imams.
“largely manipulated”
Imams systematically lie to their listeners. The message that the Koran has been perfectly preserved, right down to the last letter, is constantly promoted, when imams know that Islam’s sources record that it was not. They persist in this lying.
“the intellectual roller coaster”
Not surprisingly, discovering these matters painfully demolishes the worldview planted by Islam, leaving the individual insecure and vulnerable. Hence the intellectual roller coaster. This is a stressful experience. There follows the difficult task of replacing that demolished flawed view with something that can be relied on.
Have courage. Islam cannot withstand the internet: it is being exposed. The present is what David Wood calls “Islam’s Golden Age of Apostasy”, what Bilal Philips calls “an avalanche of apostasy, a tsunami”. You are in multiple company. Islam is haemorrhaging adherents.
By the way, while you are looking, Christianity does not require any hatred, nor does it exact the death penalty for leaving.
gravenimage says
+1
Michael Copeland says
Another key phrase: “recitations ….and .. ritual prayer”.
Repeated synchronised movements help to establish that bond of solidarity.
It is a similar effect to that of Army drill movements and group singing.
It can be seen that Islam has a package of influential components, not to mention the death penalty for leaving, which have kept it in place centuries after its sell-by date.
Silver Sabre says
We live in a time of unprecedented change and opportunity.
Good things are coming 🙂
Thanks for the info however I don’t really want to have anything to do with religion for now.
gravenimage says
My Journey Out of Islam and Hate
…………………
Kudos to “Silver Sabre” and his brave and principled search for truth.
The very fact that he has to hide his real name exposes the violence of Islam–no ex-Catholic, ex-Jew, or ex-Buddhist would have to write under a nom de plume for his own safety.
Silver Sabre says
Thanks.
Safety first right. Need to increase the odds of my survival.
gravenimage says
Thank you, Silver Sabre. Above all, please be safe.
Jayell says
Two things here:-
1. ‘…..I observed my family switching from Islamic values to secular values depending on the circumstance…’
What sort of person is actually able to live with that sort of ‘cultural schizophrenia’? The sort of ‘person of integrity’ who thinks that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ depend on what’s most convenient at any one time? Shouldn’t alarm bells have been ringing inside this person’s head more loudly and far earlier?
2. ‘I based my career choices on the probability at which I could pray five times a day, which made prospective employers very skeptical about hiring me. My clothing also resembled Arab cultural clothing. leading to a loss of opportunities.’
The article doesn’t seem to say where the author was living at the time, but it looks very much like it was a non-islamic (Western?) country, in which case there seems to have been a serious lack of self- or social awareness here on the part of the author. Why did he not realise straight away that he was fundamentally out of step with the surrounding society that was supporting him and understand that employers would probably NOT go along with the idea of him praying five times a day – and then adapt his attitudes and behaviour to suit? And why did he not realise well in advance that presenting himself in ‘arab cultural clothing’ when presumably this did not conform with the local dress code, would suggest that he did not intend to identify people around him – so then they consequently would not want to associate with him? Assuming that the author was living in a non-isamic society, this sort of poor social awareness would usually be linked to arrogance or/and mediocre intelligence, personal characteristics which are not generally admired anywhere. So, sorry, not much sympathy for this character at all.
Silver Sabre says
The alignment of variables contributed to the way it happened.
Transitioning from one worldview to another can be a difficult process also.
The Islamic worldview was very strongly entrenched in my mind.
Rewiring neurons that are deeply connected is also a challenging process.
These are the factors that contributed to it:
Definitions
Principles
Semantics
Semiotics
Mental associations
Perceptions
Worldviews consist of the above mentioned variables and sifting through them can take different amounts of time for different individuals.
A combination of nature and nurture.
Patriotliz says
Islam is a totalitarian political theology (Theocracy).
No separation of faith and government.
I cringe every time people talk about the value of “freedom of religion” but forget that this particular “religion” is viciously against the freedom of other peoples’ religions.
Islam has no place in a Free World.
Islam can’t be reformed any more than Nazism or Communism can be “reformed.”
Silver Sabre says
Realizing this sent shockwaves through me.
Krishna says
since you went to deobandi school I believe you must be UK Muslim and now became ex muslim and started free thinking you are great
Silver Sabre says
No not UK 🙂
Thanks for the warm words.