The chap pictured above is Mr. Universal K. Allah, suspect in the theft of this violin. (His middle name is Knowledge.) This story has nothing to do with jihad, as far as I know, but I couldn’t help but wonder, as I pondered this gentleman’s marvelous name, if Allah, frustrated over Muhammad’s failure to do away with all musical instruments as he had commanded him to do, decided that he had to take matters in his own hands.
“The Prophet said that Allah commanded him to destroy all the musical instruments…” — Hadith Qudsi 19:5
Muhammad also said: “Allah Mighty and Majestic sent me as a guidance and mercy to believers and commanded me to do away with musical instruments, flutes, strings, crucifixes, and the affair of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance.” — ‘Umdat al-Salik r40.0
Now here it is nearly 1,400 years after Muhammad’s traditional death date, and musical instruments proliferate. This violin theft could have been just the beginning of the judgment of Allah, as he seized and destroyed every last musical instrument, one by one. Luckily, police found this violin intact and arrested Allah, so Infidels everywhere can breath easier and consider their flutes and lyres and saxophones and pianos and flugelhorns safe from the wrath of Allah.
“UPDATE: Milwaukee police identify Stradivarius robbery suspects,” by Shakara Robinson for CBS58.com, February 6 (thanks to Bill):
MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee police have announced the names of the people they believe stole a 300-year-old Stradivarius violin worth six million dollars. Police have also confirmed the recovery of the rare violin.
36-year-old Universal Allah, 41-year-old Salah Jones and an unnamed female were arrested by Milwaukee police on February 3rd. The Milwaukee County District Attorney’s Office plans to have charges filed and a criminal complaint issued by February 7th.
Police believe the trio robbed Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra Concertmaster Frank Almond of the Stradivarius violin after a concert at Wisconsin Lutheran College on January 27th around 10:20 p.m. Police say Almond was approached by two of the suspects in a parking lot and tased. Almond dropped the violin, and the suspects stole the expensive violin. The victim reported to police the suspects were a man and a woman.
Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn says his department contacted taser vendors, and were able to use information obtained to find one of the suspects.
Police executed a five search warrants in search of the violin without finding anything. Universal Allah told investigators the violin was hidden in a house on E. Smith St. Police found the violin hidden inside a suitcase located in the house’s attic. Allah told police the owner of the home had no idea the violin was in his that house.
Allah is all-knowing, wise.